JAGGED EDGE: A BILLIONAIRE ROMANCE (ALPHA MALE) (19 page)

Chapter Twelve

She moved a bit stiffly but that was a combination of soreness and the fact that the wounds were scabbing over. She’d been lucky. Dirk had gotten there before that maniac had done any real damage. The cuts would heal fine and the doctor hadn’t done much more than put antibiotic cream and band-aids on most of them. Only a couple required stitches.

“You’ve looked better,” Greg said from his hospital bed.

She laughed. “I’ve felt better, but you aren’t one to talk. You look like shit.”

“Bullets will do that to you, so I’m told. But they give me painkillers and a steady diet of hot nurses, so I’m not in a rush to get better.”

“I told you he was a lazy bastard,” Dirk said. “I’m glad he’s getting a chance to show you the real person behind the tough biker facade.”

“What’s this about you biting a guy’s ear off?”

She smiled at Greg. “It was self defense.”

“Probably still tasted like shit.”

“Actually, considering everything, it tasted fine.”

“So tell me, there you were, tied up and this guy is torturing you and you get the bright idea of biting his ear off… how does that work? How would that help you escape?”

She pushed the memory away, back into the dark recesses, along with everything else about Terrance and put on a brave face. “It wasn’t about escaping. He bent down as he was cutting me, wanted to whisper what he intended to do to me next. I figured that if I fought back, if I hurt him, he might lose his cool and accidentally kill me. Once I got his ear in my mouth I was just so furious… I didn’t even know what I was doing. I didn’t realize that I had torn it off until he started shrieking at me.”

Greg nodded. “Nice going.”

His smiled took away a lot of the sting of remembering. Dirk had told her it would take time before the memories stopped hurting. At the moment it didn’t seem like they would. Maybe after the physical wounds healed.

“You fought him, Audra.” Greg wasn’t smiling either now. “It seemed like there was nothing you could do, and you didn’t just accept it. It might not seem that way, but that was fucking brave.”

His comment helped. Dirk had helped too. After that… that thing died on the floor, Dirk had taken her in his arms. She’d passed out, but when she woke he still held her. She’d cried then. She’d cried like a damn baby and he hadn’t said a word, just held her. He hadn’t tried to make her stop, or tell her some bullshit about things being all right and she’d known he understood that even though it was over, nothing was all right. You couldn’t be treated like that and then accept that much of anything was all right. Having him just hold her and keep his goddamn mouth shut until the fear subsided had to be the finest thing anyone had ever done for her.

It had subsided but not gone away, that fear. The threat of that or something else still hung over her.

Not that she wasn’t happy to be free. She was deliriously happy, just as she was happy that the Jack creature was stone dead. She was pleased about lots of things, that Greg was alive and recovering well, just as she was sorry the other biker was dead. But how she felt about any of those things didn’t really matter all that much. Dirk rescuing her might have gotten a couple of goons killed, but the world was not a safer place, and now she knew just how scary people like Terrance really were. People thought robbers were scary, but a man like Terrance was evil and he employed people like Jack, who were even more evil.

It made her blood run cold to know they were out there.

“Hey Audra.” It was Greg. “Mind if I speak to this asshole alone for a couple of minutes?”

“No worries.” She kissed his unshaven cheek, relishing the roughness against her lips, the abrasion that was real life. “I’ll go get something to eat in the cafeteria.”

“I’ll meet you there after I hear whatever this is about,” Dirk said. The puzzled look on his face told her that he had no idea what Greg wanted to talk about. Her instincts told her that it was about her. Her heart pounded. Greg had told her he cared about her. If they hadn’t been interrupted by a bullet, she probably would have fucked him. Her two men were friends, and she wondered if she was coming between them. That they both wanted her, at some level was sexy and flattering, but not what she wanted.

The truth was, she wasn’t sure what she wanted. The shock of her kidnapping was still ringing in her head, making it hard to process much of anything else.

* * * *

Dirk waited until the sound of Audra’s steps down the hospital corridor faded. Then he sat in the chair beside the bed and faced Greg. “So is this where you tell me what a jerk I’ve been?”

“Seems like it needs to be pointed out.”

“I sort of noticed myself. That I let them shoot you, kill Johnny, and take Audra right out from under my nose made it clear.”

“That wasn’t the part I was thinking about. If you want to beat yourself up for that shit too, I’ll go along, but the truth is that it wasn’t your fault. They caught us all on the back foot. We all thought we’d be safe after we shook them.”

“We didn’t decide to go for a beer.”

“And I bet you didn’t bring any for us.”

“I got you an ambulance instead.”

Greg grimaced. “Okay, but you owe me a beer.”

“The asshole was good at finding us. Too damn good.”

“Lots of people in his pocket most likely.”

“Highway patrol sort of people.”

“The best money could buy. Doesn’t do much for a man’s faith in the system—in law and order.”

“I didn’t know you had any.”

Greg laughed. “I don’t. So this just makes me feel fucking self-righteous.”

“So it isn’t what you were bitching at me about.”

“No. But you are still being a jerk.” He tipped his head toward the door. “About her. The girl cares about you. I think you care about her, but are too damn stupid to let yourself know, much less her.”

Dirk turned away. “When she came and wanted our help, I figured that she was a cute rich bitch playing bad girl. Since she was hot, fucking her seemed like a pleasant bonus while taking an otherwise boring ride to Canada.”

“Didn’t turn out boring at all.”

“No. And as I learned her story… I wanted to protect her, but letting her get under my skin was going to make that hard.”

“So the cold shoulder.”

“And then you got all dreamy eyed about her, making me the bad guy. She started falling for you. Well, by then I figured I’d screwed that up, and if the two of you wanted to get it on that was no business of mine.”

“And now?”

Dirk let out a slow breath. “Trying to work that out. She’s kind of amazing. The thing is, she’s headed for Canada.”

“It’s a pretty country with lots of nice open highway.”

Dirk wrinkled his nose. “It’s got ice and snow and fucking elk, Greg. People run into elk on the highway up there. Probably with dog sleds.”

“And she still wants to go there?”

“I don’t know.”

“You might want to ask. Seems like it was just a convenient place to hide. Who knows, maybe she’d rather hide in Mexico if you gave her the choice? Both places have fine cold beer, but there aren’t any damn elk in Mexico.”

“That’s true. I like Mexico.”

“That asshole husband of hers is still out there and he didn’t finish getting his pound of flesh from her.”

“Now he’ll be looking in Canada.”

“Or he’ll give up altogether, or who the hell knows with a guy like that?”

“Right.”

Greg smiled. “She didn’t really hire the club to get her anywhere in particular.”

“And?”

“If that doesn’t give you ideas about what to do, then let me know and I’ll finish the job.”

Dirk smiled. “You do like her.”

“Yeah. A lot.”

“So why push me to do something?”

“Because she really wants you. As stupid as that might seem to those of us with a brain, she prefers you.” He shifted in the bed, wincing. “When I heal up, if you haven’t done something I’ll be forced to kick your skinny ass.”

“Forced?”

“Yep. Now go save that girl from cafeteria food. You owe her that much, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I guess I do.”

* * * *

“I’m not good with emotions.”

She smiled at him, wondering if he was teasing. “You’re kidding me.” As the words left her mouth, she regretted the sarcasm. He was trying to talk and she’d slapped him down.

“I mean, I feel things but sometimes I get confused about what I feel or don’t understand what I feel. And when it comes to talking about how I feel… telling someone you care about them or about something makes you vulnerable. You show people your weakness and they exploit it.”

“I understand. I just don’t know where this is going.”

He turned away. “Maybe nowhere.”

She reached over and touched his arm. “Time to find out.”

He glanced at her. “You think so?”

“You aren’t scared in a fight because you know you don’t control the outcome. All you can do is your best, right?”

“More or less.”

“Being scared doesn’t get you anything and can tip the odds against you.”

“Yeah.”

“This is the same. You can say how you feel and hope it works, that the person you are talking to understands. You can’t make them understand. But if you don’t talk about how you feel, then no one will ever know. They’ll think you don’t feel anything. And I know that isn’t true.”

“Do you?”

“A lot of it is how we act. You talk about your feelings with body language and your reactions. It’s just that when you want to make sure someone knows how you feel about them, or about something, they are more likely to get it right if you tell them.” She punched his arm. “And since you are telling them anyway, why are words scary?”

He laughed. “I suppose you’re right.”

He turned back to her, and held her arms. “I was worried when they grabbed you. Scared shitless. Not only because you might be hurt, which sucked, but I realized I might never see you again and I’m selfish enough to have that piss me off.”

“Because you’d decided I’m a good lay.”

“You are. But it isn’t just that. I don’t know exactly what it is. I haven’t felt like this before, but things are just better when you’re around. When you aren’t pissed off at me, I mean. When you are happy with me, life is sweet.”

She laughed. “I think I get it.”

“I wondered…” he looked away.

“Buck up and tell me, dammit.”

Dirk looked sheepish. “I want you to be my old lady.”

“Your old lady?”

“My woman. Ride with me. Be with me. Share my world.”

The idea rattled her. Dirk’s world was sometimes a rather dark place. “Don’t you have problems enough without adding mine to them?”

He got a faraway look in his eyes. “You and me on my bike, roaring through this crazy world.”

“Getting in fights?”

He laughed. “We’d pick our fights and win most of them.”

“Or die.”

His eyes sparkled. “Can’t win them all.”

As a boyfriend Dirk certainly had his limits, but who didn’t? The thing was that she’d been attracted to him since she met him. He’d pissed her off, been pissed at her, all the things you go through, but he’d been there for her.

She still thought affectionately about Greg, but it wasn’t the same feeling at all. Dirk was leading her somewhere and Greg offered her his support. It was comforting more than exciting.

Dirk, so good with gang stuff and a great leader was an interesting contradiction as a suitor. She’d laughed at the way he’d expressed himself on the subject of their future. He’d held her, kissed her passionately and said: “Fuck going to Canada, Audra. It’s cold and dull up there.”

“You goddamn romantic. And then what? I still have my insane husband out there and he’s probably still hunting me.”

“I don’t think he’ll bother you without that killer of his.”

“He could hire others.”

“From what you said, he is a bit of a wimp and he’s just been bitch slapped.”

“That might just make him angrier.”

Dirk touched her cheek. “If so, he’d look in Canada too. Audra, in case it hasn’t occurred to you, the world is a dangerous place. All you can do is be strong and clever, and try to hang out with strong and clever people.”

“If he’s still pissed he’d come after all of you.”

He smiled. “You think he isn’t after my skin, all our skins already? And it isn’t like we don’t have plenty of enemies on our own. I can turn that around—if you hook up with me your ex is not going to be the only enemy you have to worry about. You’ll inherit mine. And we aren’t talking about buying a house in the burbs and settling down. You’d be running with The Chosen Few; the club doesn’t run from trouble in this troubled world. It’s not safe. If you are willing to accept that, then adding him into the mix of people after our asses is no big deal.”

Once again she was impressed with what a giant step it was from her old world into his. “I suppose not.”

“Riding with a club isn’t for everyone, but then neither is Canada.”

The life might be every bit as dangerous as he said, but she was learning it was also exciting. No matter what happened at the end, spending her life riding on the back of his bike with her arms wrapped around her man could make up for a lot of the crap the world dished out. And at night, she’d have him. Slowly she’d get to understand him. And maybe they would create a strong bond that would help them both. And what the fuck would she do in Canada.

“Okay, but why do you want me?”

He shrugged. “Damned if I know. I tried not to care about you, but the way things are, if you insisted on going to Canada I’d have to follow and make sure you got set up right. Then I wouldn’t want to leave because I want to be with you.”

She liked the honesty. He wouldn’t pretend, except that the idea of a relationship scared him. “Then maybe I should give you a chance and save putting all those unnecessary miles on your bike.”

“Even if I wanted to let you go, I’d have to deal with Greg nagging me like an old woman about how I blew off the best thing that ever happened to me. That’s a lot scarier than thinking your ex wants to kill me.”

“It’s nice to know your motivation is pure love.”

He pulled her close and kissed her. “I want you to be my old lady. I want you there when I get off my bike at night. I want your warm body in my arms. I want you sharing the ups and downs of this out of control existence. I want to fuck you until you can’t move.”