Jane Austen Stole My Boyfriend (16 page)

Jane is just so clever, I thought as I tried to swallow some chocolate pudding – less to please myself than to please Franklin, who was watching me so anxiously with his kind eyes.

Now she had turned to our uncle and was questioning him about how chocolate was made. Jane, of course, had realized that our aunt, though sympathetic, was sharp and authoritative. She would not
take kindly to anyone telling her what to do, let alone a young girl of Jane’s age. During all the long explanations about cocoa beans, and about an Irish man called John Hannon who invented
the first chocolate mills, Jane never once glanced towards Mrs Leigh-Perrot.

I did though, as I struggled to eat, and I could see her thoughtful expression. I noticed also how Mrs Austen shot a quick appraising glance at her sister-in-law and then lowered her eyes to her
own plate.

Towards the end of the meal Mrs Leigh-Perrot, without a word of apology, rose abruptly and crossed the room towards her writing desk. There was a moment’s silence as she drew out a sheet
of paper and dipped her quill in the ink, but then Jane asked whether cocoa beans had shells and, if so, what happened to them. Franklin and Mr Leigh-Perrot started to argue about this and by the
time they had solved the question Mrs Leigh-Perrot had sealed her letter, written the address and handed it to Franklin with instructions to take it to the post as soon as possible.

‘It was to Edward-John,’ said Jane when we went up to our room – with instructions from our uncle to put on warm wool spencers under our cloaks and to wear woollen
stockings.

‘Are you sure?’ I asked, doing up the waist button of my spencer.

‘Certain!’ said Jane, getting her muff from her travelling bag. ‘I had a look when I bent down to tie my lace.’

So I’ve quickly written all of this into my journal.

I wish I could stay in the house and write my thoughts about Thomas, but it wouldn’t be fair to Jane.

In any case, I suddenly feel more cheerful. I’ve seen for myself how very rich the Leigh-Perrots are – number 1, the Paragon is just their residence in Bath; they also have an estate
and fine manor house in Berkshire.

I told myself that Edward-John (and Augusta) would agree to anything if they thought they might inherit all this wealth.

Tuesday, 26 April 1791

It’s raining this morning so I have time to write down everything about our experience at the gala night at Sydney Gardens.

This is how our evening began:

‘James, you must have a sedan chair. If you walk down all the way to the gardens with that gouty leg of yours, you won’t be fit for anything. It will spoil your enjoyment.’ Mrs
Leigh-Perrot sounded really worried about her husband when she said this.

‘Nonsense, nonsense. As if I would allow four beautiful ladies to walk while I get carried! That would be a fine thing for a gentleman to do.’ My uncle sounded resolute, but I had
noticed how he limped rather heavily.

‘Why don’t you both go in sedan chairs and I’ll walk down with Jane and Jenny? It’ll only take us fifteen minutes at the most. That will be the best thing,’ said
Mrs Austen.

‘Let’s have sedan chairs for everyone. It will be fun for the girls.’ Mr Leigh-Perrot sounded so cheered by the idea that Franklin smiled happily. Mrs Leigh-Perrot didn’t
look quite so pleased. Sedan chairs, I knew, cost sixpence to hire, and it did seem a terrible waste to have them for two healthy energetic girls who could easily walk or even run down the hill to
the riverside gardens.

‘Oh, Uncle,’ said Jane. ‘You are the kindest man in the world. How did you know that of all things this is what I wished for? How can a novelist write about her heroine in a
sedan chair if she has never experienced such a thing?’

‘Well, that settles it,’ he said, looking as pleased as if someone had given him a present. ‘Franklin, run down to the chair house in Queen’s Parade and order five
chairs.’

I don’t know about Jane, but I think I would have preferred to walk. The chair looked very beautiful on the outside, but it was stuffy and a bit smelly inside and I didn’t like the
way the chairmen raced along the pavements, knocking people out of the way and bouncing me from side to side. Still it was quite exciting, I suppose. Perhaps I’m just having what Jane calls
‘a fit of the dismals’.

When we got out of our sedan chairs at the entrance, Eliza and Phylly were coming down the hill.

Eliza was tottering on her high heels, trying to keep up with Phylly, who was striding along briskly – I’m sure she had a stout pair of boots under her frilly gown which, I suspect,
belonged to Eliza.

‘Well, girls, did you enjoy that?’ Our uncle had struggled out of his chair and was distributing sixpences to the chairmen.

‘It was lovely, Uncle,’ I said feebly, but Jane did better.

‘It elevated my thoughts to a high level,’ she assured him, and then gave him a quick kiss.

‘Shall we go and see the illuminations?’ she went on, tucking her arm through mine, while Phylly interrogated the Leigh-Perrots on their reasons for hiring sedan chairs for everyone
and reminded them of how much it cost.

‘Where’s the waterfall?’ Jane was spinning around in so many directions that she almost turned me giddy.

‘This is what I call romantic!’ Her voice was loud, and in spite of the band playing in the distance many people around heard her. I could see smiles on their faces, and I had to
smile myself. The gardens did look so wonderfully romantic, with lights everywhere turning the colours of the trees, grass and flowers into strangely deeper and more mysterious versions of their
everyday selves.

I suggested that we should go and see the grottoes, but Jane didn’t answer. She had gone over towards the direction posts and was studying them.

‘There it is, over there; the waterfall is down that pathway.’

‘Jane,’ I said sternly. ‘You haven’t made an assignation with a young gentleman, by any chance?’

‘Quick,’ hissed Jane, taking no notice. ‘Let’s go before we have to endure Phylly’s company.’

The waterfall was spectacular. Lamps illuminated it – turning the water to shades of green and blue and a rosy red. Beside it was a tall, blond young man, looking more at home than the
last time we met in his usual dress of riding boots, breeches and a well-worn olive-coloured riding coat.

‘You go on, Jane, I must fix my shoelace.’ I would give them a few minutes together – just as Jane gave me my private time with Thomas. I was so busy with my laces that
although I heard the words, ‘Good evening,’ I didn’t take much notice of them, and it was only after Admiral Williams repeated the phrase, ‘Good evening, Miss Cooper,’
that I realized that he was standing over me.

He was as upright and starchy as ever. Beside him was Elinor, looking very pale, and on her other side was Sir Walter Montmorency. The governess was slightly behind the other three.

‘May I help? Have you a problem?’ His voice was cold, as always. No one would ever think that his nephew had told him that he was betrothed to me. There was no acknowledgement of
that in his aloof, rather distant manner. It was as if I was just some distant and not particularly interesting acquaintance. I was still bending down, fiddling with my lace, but I didn’t
stand up. If I did, I might have to join them and be escorted back to Mrs Austen and the Leigh-Perrots. And then I would betray Jane.

‘Good evening, Admiral, Miss Elinor, Miss Taylor,’ I said, trying to sound self-assured. ‘No, there’s no problem. It’s just my bootlace. My cousin and my aunt will
be back in a moment.’ I prayed that he couldn’t see Jane and Harry romantically silhouetted against the shining colourful waterfall.

He hesitated for a minute, glancing at the crowds milling around and at a group of young officers laughing loudly. ‘Well, perhaps Miss Taylor will wait with you,’ he said, beckoning
to the governess without even glancing in her direction. I thought him very rude to the poor lady, I must say. I could see why Thomas disliked him.

‘Sir Walter, could I ask a great favour of you? Would you be kind enough to escort my niece into that labyrinth? She has a fancy to go, and I can’t abide these places. In any case, I
have just seen an old acquaintance in the distance and he will be quite offended if I don’t greet him. Go along, my dear,’ he said to Elinor, who turned even paler. ‘Sir Walter
will take good care of you.’

I didn’t think that Elinor looked happy about this arrangement. She did murmur, ‘Uncle,’ but he shooed her along as if she was a chicken in his way. She looked very young, very
small and fragile beside the tall, god-like figure of her escort, who gave me a cool up-and-down look.

‘I’ll take good care of her, sir.’ Sir Walter smiled down at Elinor as he tucked her arm under his and assured the admiral that he would make sure that no rough men would come
near Miss Williams. I watched them go towards the labyrinth. Groups of girls with male escorts were giggling as they streamed into the maze of secret passages. I could imagine what fun it would
have been if only Thomas were still here and perhaps Jane and Harry could join us. But Elinor didn’t look as though she was having fun. She seemed to shrink away from Sir Walter. Her head was
bent and her bonnet hid her features. I watched her go with concern and she looked up and caught my eye. Abruptly she rearranged her expression to one of haughty arrogance. Somehow or other, I
thought that it was as though she were acting a part. There was no doubt that she was jealous of me and Thomas, but was he right? Was she just a child – a child who needed protecting? Or did
she just dislike me intensely for no reason other than jealousy? However, it was the one thing that Thomas had asked of me and I couldn’t fail him. I stood up and looked after them, feeling
rather worried. There wasn’t much that I could do, I told myself.

And yet I had promised Thomas. I remembered what he said about Sir Walter being involved in a scandal. He was no person to trust a young girl to.

‘Miss Taylor,’ I said rapidly. ‘Would you mind waiting here for a moment? I must see my cousin. She is expecting me.’

I had a quick glance over my shoulder as I went towards the waterfall. Miss Taylor had retreated to one of the rustic benches set into little arbours. Couples occupied every one of the others,
and for a moment I almost felt that she looked slightly comic, seated there, so stiffly, all by herself. But then, as one of the links-men passed, bearing a flaming torch, I saw her face. It was
drawn into tight lines of anxiety and I realized that she was deeply worried about Elinor.

Harry and Jane were laughing together about one of their childhood games when I approached – something about building a house in the woods when Jane was eight years old. They didn’t
look particularly romantic so I didn’t mind interrupting them. I told Jane about Elinor and Sir Walter Montmorency going into the labyrinth alone and how I had promised Thomas to keep an eye
on her. Jane was immediately intrigued.

‘How did she seem?’ she asked.

I hesitated and then said that I thought she looked pale and worried. And that the governess looked worried also. I told them what Thomas had said.

‘Let’s follow them,’ said Harry. I could see that the words ‘dastardly baronet’ were trembling on Jane’s lips, and I agreed immediately with Harry. The sooner
we followed them the better. I wondered whether I should tell Miss Taylor, but then I thought that the admiral, if he heard, would think that officious of me. After all, he was the one who
suggested Sir Walter should accompany his niece to the labyrinth.

The labyrinth would have been such fun if I hadn’t been worried about Elinor. Even though we could see the centre of it, with the famous Merlin swing, like a gorgeously
decorated boat, up high above us, the passages, with their ten-foot hedges, continually ended with only a choice of going left or right, but never went straight ahead in the direction needed.
Groups of couples wandered up and down, laughing and calling out to each other, most people seeming quite happy to be lost.

I began to despair of finding them – there were so many people and so many voices from unseen people – lots of shrieks from girls and laughs from men – but no trace of Elinor
and Sir Walter.