Jax: Mating Fever (Rocked by the Bear Book 6) (4 page)

A
fter we finish breakfast
, Jax drives us toward his friends’ house. He says, “The place they rent is awesome. It’s a big farmhouse, and we play in the barn.” I gaze at the forest of thick pine trees that line the windy road we’re on. I can’t shake the thought that Jax is going to die because of me. Of course he’s a werebear, and that’s the way it has to be, but for a moment I flirt with the idea of telling him so he can run and hide. But I know that would be futile. Jax isn’t the kind of guy to run from danger. The way he stood up to his alpha to protect me proved it.

I say, “That sounds nice.”

My voice mustn’t hide my concern for Jax, because he asks, “Are you afraid about meeting my friends? Because they don’t know what you are and are going to assume you’re just a human girl.”

The burn of tears is at the back of my eyes, and I’m surprised at the weakness. I swallow back the urge to cry and say, “I’m okay. I was just thinking about home.”

Jax reaches over and takes my hand. “Are you missing your parents?”

I think normal people would, but once I was chosen as a warrior the time I spent with my family was limited. It’s important for an assassin to cut ties to loved ones so there are no distractions. Drake believes strong love connections make us weak. Relationships beyond the physical were forbidden. I wonder if that’s why Jax’s love for me is making this so hard. It’s been a long time since someone cared this much for me. I lie. “I am a little homesick.” I shrug. “It’ll pass.”

“If you want to see your parents again, Sasha, I’ll make it happen.” He squeezes my fingers before he lets go. “Your happiness matters to me.”

I swear, this guy is chipping away at my heart of stone, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I suppose it’s a good thing I’ll be out of here tomorrow morning, because I’m becoming weaker every minute. I throw out the reply I think he’s looking for. “That’s generous of you. Thanks.”

Jax says, “Not really. I bet you’d do the same for me. As we’re true mates, I don’t think we can help it.”

Oh Jax
, you’re so wrong. While you’re worried I’m being torn from my family, I’m keeping the fact you’re going to die at the hands of the Eradicators tomorrow a secret. Your true mate, buddy, is your worst nightmare. My stomach clenches as if I ate something bad, and I mumble, “I suppose.”

We turn onto a dirt road, and Jax’s SUV bounces over large ruts as we make our way slowly toward the farmhouse. The white home has deep-red trim and shutters that match the quintessential version of the barn set back a bit behind it. I expect to see a man in overalls come to greet us with a piece of grass in his teeth, but instead guys as large as Jax in T-shirts and jeans do instead.

When I get out of the car Jax introduces me to his five friends. I realize Jax didn’t bring a saxophone with him, and I guess that’s because he rushed me away from Brunswick and didn’t have time to get it. But when we get in the barn Brad says, “I brought Matilda for you.”

“I love that old girl,” says Jax as he walks over to the case. The locks snap open, and I watch as he removes the instrument with the tenderness one would use with a baby. He assembles the instrument as music begins to play. I find a stool, and the wood is hard under my bottom as I sit to listen.

Sunlight filters in through a window up in the loft, and I watch dust dance in the rays of light as if it’s moving to the beat. The guys are good musicians, but when Jax begins to play everything changes. It’s as if he’s now the star and the rest of the instruments have been muted to let him shine.

I watch his fingers press on the keys with effortless movement as the deep sound of his sax fills me. I feel as if he’s playing just for me, and the emotions bubbling at my surface surge forward as tears prick at my eyes. I blink quickly to keep them at bay.
What is wrong with me?
I squeeze my eyes shut and focus on the music instead. I let my body sway with it as I drink in the melody.

A gentle yanking sensation makes me open my eyes to discover Jax is staring at me. I let him trap me in his gaze, and this time when my vision gets blurry, I don’t stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. The man whose destiny is to be mine forever gets up from his chair and walks over to me as he plays. At first the music is quick as his fingers fly, but then he slows the tempo to drag out the notes.

Every inch of my body is humming with desire as if he’s stroking me with the sound. As he draws out a slow melody he sinks to his knees before me. I think everyone else has stopped playing, because all I hear is Jax. He holds one note for so long I guess he’s going to pass out before it ends. But he doesn’t. And when he stops, there is a deafening silence before Brad clears his throat and says, “Man. I need a cigarette.”

The rest of the guys laugh as I stare at Jax. I swipe the tears from my face as I say, “That was amazing.”

Jax shakes his head. “You’re amazing, Sasha.”

My heart is laid bare, because I almost blurt out, ‘I love you.’

The musicians start another tune, and I’m grateful they’re no longer watching such an intimate moment. Any doubt lingering about our true mate bond is gone. Destiny does want us together, and while it can’t be, I’m not going to allow the Eradicators to kill my true mate. I know deep inside if I let something happen to Jax, I’ll kill something in me. I have to figure out how to keep my true mate safe.

Jax frowns at me, and I think he can tell I’m worried, so I smile and say, “Play. I want to hear more.”

He winks at me as he stands to join the others, and I fight the urge to pace as I sort out how I’m going to escape and keep Jax from being killed.

T
he jam session
goes on until dinnertime. When Jax asked me to sing, I declined. I needed to focus on figuring out how to deal with tomorrow morning, but I still don’t have a plan. I know the men of the rescue team, and killing Jax will be their priority, even over my life. Right now the only answer I can come up with is running away, but even if I could convince myself to leave the Eradicators to become a werebear, it’s a short-term solution that would just make us become the hunted.

On the way back to Tori’s, Jax took me to a pizza place so we could continue to avoid the alpha and possible questions. It’s dark by the time we get to the Veilleux mansion, and I’m even more anxious as the clock ticks. In about twelve hours I’ll be rescued and Jax will die.

I fake a yawn when I step out of the car to walk to the house with Jax. He held my hand all the way home, and his thumb gently stroking over mine set my nerve endings on fire. My body wants him in every way, and he can smell it. But I can’t act on it. I’ve got more important things to do, like figure out how I’m going to keep him alive. As our feet thud on the front stairs I say, “Today was a lot of fun. I enjoyed getting to know your friends.”

A man who I’ve never been introduced to opens the door for us. He bows to us and says, “Tori has asked you see her in the study.”

Instinctively, I grab Jax’s hand as if he can keep me safe.
What if she insists he bite me tonight?
I know enough about alphas to understand that if she orders it, Jax has no choice but to comply. He holds tightly as we walk down the hall. It is just as ominous as it was yesterday, and my hands are damp with sweat by the time we get to Tori.

She smiles from the couch when we enter, and a tablet thumps lightly on the cushion as she sets down her reading. “Sit,” she says. “Tell me about your day.”

I wonder if that’s code for ‘Have you bitten her yet?’ I paste on a big I’m-in-love smile. “It was wonderful. We had a fantastic breakfast, and then I got to hear Jax play. He’s an amazing musician.”

Tori says, “Yes. He is.”

Jax relays some information about their mutual friends before Tori asks me, “Have you accepted your fate?”

I may not be an actress, but I know when I have to give an academy award performance, so I draw on the love I felt for Jax earlier today. I gaze at Jax and reach over to touch his thigh. The zing of our connection helps me sound infatuated as I say, “I’m getting there.”

I turn my gaze to Tori again and shrug hoping it appears like I’m infatuated with Jax as I say, “Spending my life with Jax would make me very happy.”

Tori’s gaze cuts right through me, but I don’t waver, because there is truth to my words. I think I could be happy if I spent my life with a human Jax. It’s the werebear piece I struggle with.

“Good. Let’s plan on changing you tomorrow night,” says Tori. “I’ll let Jax explain the process to you since he witnessed it with Courtney. And I’ll answer any additional questions you may have since I’ve been through the change myself.”

I nod as I tense up. Tori scans me quickly with her gaze, and she must think I’m afraid of the pain because she says, “It’s like childbirth. You can’t believe you can endure the agony, but somehow you do. And before you know it, the memory of it fades.” She smiles warmly. “You’re trained as a human warrior. I have a feeling you’ll do just fine with it.”

She’s right that I’ve already encountered similar pain, and I’ll probably experience more once I get home. I swallow as I think about my injured vocal chords and wonder what sustaining injury I’ll get this time. “I hope so,” I say.

Tori’s gaze darts between Jax and me, and she says, “You don’t need to entertain me.” She lifts her tablet up. “I’ve got a great book.”

Jax and I stand and say goodnight before we go upstairs. He walks me to my door, and I lean against it instead of opening it. It’s a failed attempt at keeping myself from being with him physically, because when we meet in a kiss I lose any willpower I had. The emotions I allowed myself to feel earlier have their way with me, and the doorknob is cool in my hand as I fumble with it. Jax takes over for me, and once the door is shut we begin to strip off each other’s clothes.

His skin sears my palms as I slide my hands up his chest and grip his thick shoulders. The desperation I felt yesterday is replaced with the need to become one with the man that’s my true mate. Last time my bear was leading me. This time, it’s my heart.

Once we’re both naked I break away to catch my breath. I take in the man before me, and when the words come, I let them out. “I love you, Jax.”

He lets out his sexy rumble as he takes my face in his hands. “I love you, Sasha.” He kisses me as I walk us backward toward the bed. I pull away to climb on, and when I gaze into Jax’s eyes I see his overwhelming desire. He says, “Now this is how it should be with us.”

I nod as I lie back and open myself up to him. Jax slides his fingers through my folds and enters me as I reach for his cock. The heat of him throbs in my hand as I stroke, and he groans. “You’re so ready for me.”

I guide him toward my entrance. “Yes. Fill me, Jax.”

He removes his hand to lean on his forearms and sink deep. I let out a moan of pleasure as we begin to rock with the passion of our love. Everything I fear slips away as Jax’s musky scent fills my nose, his heated body sears my skin, and his body makes mine sing with our song.

The taut muscles of Jax’s butt flex beneath my grip as I dig my fingers in. My orgasm is close when he leans down to nip at my neck. I have a sudden urge to tell him to bite me, and I would, but my climax slams into me like a freight train. I cry out in ecstasy as Jax whispers sexy words in my ear.

He asks me to get on my knees and helps me into position so he can drive into me from behind. I thrust my bottom up to him as he pumps. I want more intensity so I say, “Let go, Jax. Please. I can take it.” His feral side is close to the surface, judging by the low rumble that vibrates through him. I want to experience it, because the harder he rams into me, the closer my next orgasm gets. I’m moaning as our slick skin slaps in a quick beat.

Jax begins to growl, and our movement makes the headboard bang against the wall as his release approaches. He tenses, and a roar I think must make the windows rattle escapes him as the heat of his seed coats my channel. I tighten around him as my climax takes over, making me quake beneath my true mate before we collapse onto the mattress.

The comforter is cool against my cheek as my heart rate slows in recovery. Jax slides out of me as he kisses my shoulders and whispers, “I love you so much, Sasha, and I’ll treasure you every single day for the rest of my life.”

Oh god.
Don’t say that, Jax.
I twist around to face him, and the pungent aroma of our coupling fills my nose like a scent I never want to go away as I say, “I’ll cherish you too.” My heart is so full, but somehow it manages to ache too, because I don’t want to live without this man. As I gaze into the blue eyes that drew me in the first time we met, I realize I’ll do whatever I have to in order to keep Jax safe. He’s not going to die tomorrow, even if it means I do. I whisper, “For the rest of my life.”

T
he thing
about being a female assassin in the Eradicators is that my thoughts are not valid. I may be quick and as good a shot as any of the men, but I don’t have a dick, and somehow that makes me less intelligent. I’m grateful for that small favor right now, because while I suggested there be multiple hunters to rescue me, I don’t think Drake will send more than two.

After a night of making love multiple times with Jax, I should be glowing in the aftermath, but I can’t stop fidgeting as we drive to the diner. Plastic is smooth on my fingers as I adjust the vent to blow in a different direction. The cool air is now on my arms, and it’s just as annoying, so I snap the slats into the closed position. My plan is to tell Jax about the rescue and the danger he’s in before we get to the diner so he can drop me off and return to safety before I meet up with the rescuers. I was afraid if I said something too soon, Tori would send in an infantry and my partners would be killed in an ambush. If somebody’s going to die this morning, I want it to be me.

Of course I have to keep Jax from trying to keep me safe, and that’s the part I’m dreading. Because as we get closer I wonder about how wise that decision was. While I’ve been trained to die for the greater good, I’m still enough of a coward that I don’t want my life to end. Bile burns in the back of my throat as I fight my panic. I’m afraid when my rescuers figure out I was just dropped off, they either won’t believe I was being held against my will, or they will believe I tipped off my captor as to what is going to happen. Either way, it’s not going to be good.

Jax asks, “Sasha, what’s wrong? You haven’t stopped moving since we got in the car.”

I notice the diner in the distance and say, “There’s something I need to tell you, and you’re not going to like it. Pull over.”

“But we’re almost there.”

“Please, Jax, over there.” I point to a gas station parking lot. When Jax flips the blinker the tick makes me think of a time bomb. I scan the area as we pull in. It’s still before nine, but I bet my rescue team has been in this area for hours. Although I don’t think they’ll be looking for me here.

Jax turns to me and takes my hands. “Babe, what’s going on? Are you nervous about tonight?”

He explained the process of the change last night, and once he bites me I will go through physical hell as my skin stretches and my bones break to let my bear emerge. That would concern me if I weren’t in my current predicament. I gaze into my mate’s eyes, and I memorize the love I see right now, because it’s about to be shattered when I crush him with my betrayal. I say, “I’m going home. Eradicators are at the diner, waiting to rescue me, and they’re going to try to kill you. Please drop me off here and leave.”

Jax prickles and glances around so quickly I’m surprised. I keep underestimating werebear. His nostrils flare as if he’s trying to detect their scent, although I don’t know how he could identify it. As his eyes continue to dart around he asks, “Do you want them to kill me?”

“No!” I reach for Jax’s arm, but he shakes me off. “God no,” I say. “That’s why I’m telling you, so you can get away.”

He glances at me, and the fire in his eyes scares me. “That girl’s phone yesterday?”

I nod. Jax stares at me as if he’s controlling his anger. As a human would. Werebear really aren’t the beasts I’ve been led to believe they are. I ask, “Are you going to tell Tori?”

I watch pain cloud Jax’s face before he turns away from me to start the car again. His voice is cold when he says, “Not until I have to. You’ve got plenty of time before she’ll send people looking for you.”

“Thank you.”

Jax glances out the windshield as he says, “You’re sparing my life--I’ll spare yours.” He turns to reach toward me, and for a split second I think he’s going to kiss me, but he shoves my door open instead.

I touch his cheek as I say, “Jax. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Right.” A muscle along his jaw jumps as he pulls away to shake his head. “I hope going home makes you happy, Sasha. I’m sorry I tried to convince you to become the thing you hate.”

Tears burn in my eyes, and I don’t bother to stop them. “I could never hate you, Jax. I hope you’re happy too.”

Jax glares at me, and I recall what he said about how I’m all he gets as long as I’m alive. But since I may be heading toward my death, he could be fine. When I get out he pulls the door shut before I can close it, and it slams with a hollow sound. Loose gravel spits up from the tires as he drives away.

I close my eyes and recall the way Jax looked at me last night when he said he loved me. That’s the memory I envision as I begin to walk toward the diner.
Damn it.
I kick a plastic water bottle left behind as garbage, and it skitters across the pavement before a car whooshes by. While I know I had to leave Jax to keep him alive, I just walked away from a man who is a promise of forever love and a life I never thought I could have.

That’s what you wanted, Sasha.
But now I’m not so sure. If I don’t get killed today for treason or lying, I’ll be punished. And because I failed to kill a target, I suspect I’ll no longer be an assassin. My ties with my parents were cut off years ago, and I haven’t been allowed to have an emotional relationship since. Rand was the closest thing I had to a friend. What is there to return to?

There’s a forest behind this row of buildings, and I think that’s where my rescuers are hiding. I decide to cut to the chase, and when I get to the diner I walk toward the pine trees. A bird call sounds, and I call back. I get a reply and continue to move in the direction of the noise. Once I’m in the forest a large guy named Sean steps out. He’s one of the less intelligent men in our group, and I can’t decide if he was sent because Drake thinks I’m disposable, or if he thinks the werebear who took me aren’t much of a threat. Either way, I think I just got lucky. Sean nods at me.

“Hey,” I say. “So once I told the
thing
keeping me that you guys would kill him, he ditched me down the road a ways.”

Another guy named Matt steps out, and he lowers his pistol to shove it in the back of his pants. He’s not much brighter than Sean, and if I were depending on these guys to save me from Jax I’d be in trouble. “Coward,” he says.

“Yeah,” I say. “What’s the plan?”

“We’re not supposed to return until we kill the brothers and the girl who murdered Rand,” says Sean.

“That’s what I figured.” I shrug as my stomach flips with nerves I need to hide. “Shouldn’t be too hard. Did you guys bring me a gun?”

They glance at each other, and Matt grimaces as Sean says, “Drake says you don’t get one.”

I take a deep breath and wonder what will become of me once I get home. It’s worse than I thought. It occurs to me that if Drake sent the two idiots to save me and didn’t want me to have a gun so I could protect myself, then maybe he’s hoping I don’t make it back. My stomach clenches as I wonder what he’ll do to me when I do. I shake off my fear, because I’ve got more important things to worry about. I need to figure out how I’m going to keep dumb and dumber from killing Jax, Jared, and Courtney.