Jennifer's Garden (30 page)

“They have no disability insurance?”

“None.”  Sam heaved a ragged sigh.  “But it’s not the money that concerns me.  I can float her enough to keep them above water, but what I
can’t
do, is handle the kids for that long.  From what I can put together, it sounds like she’s going to be living at the hospital while they work him through rehab.  The kids have school, activities...  She can’t be in two places at one time.  What’s she gonna do?”

“I know it’s tough, Sam.”

“
Too
tough.”

“You’ll work something out.  I know you.”

“Right now I’d give my right arm to be on a beach in the Bahamas, stuck to my lounge chair sucking on a margarita as big as my head chock-full of pretty little umbrellas.”

Jennifer smiled at the image.  “You don’t mean that.  You don’t want to be anywhere, but by your sister’s side.”

“No, Jen.  I mean it.  In fact, I’d give
both
my arms not to have to look her in the eye every day, and know, this may be as good as it gets.  Ever.  Her life as she once knew it is over.  Either way, those days are gone.”

Now
there’s
looking on the bright side, Jennifer thought glumly, giving way to the swath of negativity.

“Marrying Blake was the happiest day of her life.  With the birth of her kids, it only got better and then—POW—out of nowhere, all is lost.”

“All is
not
lost, Sam.  It’s a bump in the road.  She’ll survive.  They’ll get through it.”

“Bump in the road?  The damn bridge is out!  Blown to hell by some lunatic blood clot!”

“It’s one of life’s trials, Sam.  Trust me.  It will get better.  I know it seems like a long time, but you’ve got to give Blake a chance to recover.  His body has undergone major trauma.  Patty needs your help to remain focused on the positive.”

“I’m having trouble doing that, Jen.”  Sam’s pace slowed as the exasperation dragged her down.

It was a normal cycle for patients’ families to go through, Jennifer understood.  But it hurt to hear it from Sam.

“Patty’s hit hard, and I’m having a real tough time convincing her it’s not as bad as it seems, because it sure as hell looks that way to me.”

“I know.”  Jennifer said, winding the phone cord between her fingers.  “But aren’t you always the one who told me to embrace life’s surprises.  This challenge may be the beginning of a new and rewarding chapter in Patty’s life.  In
your
life.”

Sam didn’t say a word.

Okay.  She needed time.  Jennifer allowed her room to digest the concept.  Starting over, starting anew; it was never easy changing habits and outlooks, especially not when you’d spent years ingraining them into your soul.  This would take time.  It would take effort.

It may take everything Sam had to get through this, and make it to the other side.  Personal crisis wasn’t her strong suit.  Managing others’ was her business, not handling her own.

“And how about you?”

“What about me?”

“Maybe
you
can learn something from this, too.”

“Of course, helping you helps me, yes—“

“Life can surprise you, Jen.  Just when you think you have it all planned, the tidy little package you’ve arranged for your future can unravel, leaving you with impossible chaos.”

Her back stiffened.  “Is this another attack on Aurelio?”

“Your picture-perfect image can be shattered—crushed—by oncoming traffic.  What happens then?  And when you have kids?  Who will look after them?”

“Sam—“

“Will you expect your nanny to sweep in and clean up the mess?  The hired help?”

“Sam.”

“Because I’m here to tell you it’s not the case,” she continued, refusing to be interrupted.  “Blake and Patty are prime exhibit number one.  You need someone that worships the ground you walk on.  Someone to stand by you through life’s trials, ‘cause let me tell you, it can get ugly. 
Real
ugly.”

“Sam,” Jennifer said, a bit more cutting than she intended, but enough was enough.  “I understand that you’re under a bit of stress, but that is no reason to lash out at me.”

“You’re damn right I’m under stress!  And you would be, too, but Blake’s stroke should serve as a reminder to you.  You can’t count on sophistication to carry you through to that golden anniversary.  Love and sacrifice do that.”

“I appreciate the insight,” she replied coolly, hating the rehash of old arguments.  Sam should be focused on her current troubles.  “But it’s as I told you before.  Aurelio and I are committed to a future together.”

“Whitewash.  You and Aurelio lead two different lifestyles, two different lives.”

“How do you figure?”

“He’s all about him and you’re all about everybody else.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s true and you need to hear it.”

“No, I don’t.”  She steeled her nerves. 

“Bullshit.  Aurelio is more interested in serving his own needs and you—hell, giving to others is like speed for you.  You’d go into withdrawal if you weren’t helping some patient through a life or death crisis... 

...or living your life to please someone else.” 

“
What is the matter with you
?  Why do you insist on pushing?”

Sam remained mute. 

Anger percolated.  “I don’t understand you!”

“You want a house full of children, running up and down those stairs, filling the halls with noise. I
know
you.  In that traditional thinking brain of yours, you’re still baking cookies, reading bedtime stories, painting that white picket fence...the one that lives deep in your heart.”

“Aurelio wants kids...”

“He could live without them.”  Sam added quietly, “You can’t.”  She paused.  “The truth’s a bitch, Jen.  But at least she has your best interests at heart.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

At the sound of her car, Jax turned his head in time to see the black BMW roll into the front driveway.  Male instinct had warned him to be gone by now, but hunger for her company overruled.  The other day revealed a fragile woman.  A woman whose waters ran deep.  A woman who needed the strong shoulder of a man.

His gut tightened.  It was no good.  Already slipping past his defenses, squeaking by his better sense, this woman was beginning to steal into his heart.

Where was the woman he first met, when he needed her?  Judgmental, condescending—
that
one he could resist.

Jax watched Jennifer ease out of the sedan.  Dressed in scrubs, her shiny brown hair fell loose around her shoulders and her skin, even from a distance, glowed in flawless ivory perfection.  But it was her eyes that completely undid him; aquamarine jewels sparkling like crystalline island waters in the warm afternoon sun.

She looked for him and he stood.  Struggling to recall those first days and the qualities he could easily dismiss was pointless.  Unfortunately for him, she barely resembled that person anymore.  Now, she was a woman he wanted.

Stupidity.  They had no future.  Forget she was engaged, they had different goals, different attitudes.  She was a career woman, a doctor.  She had structure and schedule. 
Anchors
.

She waved at him and smiled—a smile that felt personal, more seductive than a full moon on the open sea.  Warmth spread through his chest.  He meant to be gone before she arrived home, but stayed—despite his better judgment.  Falling for the good doctor was not in his best interest.

But enjoying the attraction?  Where was the harm?

She headed toward him and he fell into step, moving in her direction.  Nothing wrong with living in the moment.  It was his life’s motto.

She slowed to a stop, feet away from him.  “Hello, Jax.”

Damn
.  Though small, her smile had the power to blow his best defense to smithereens.  He smiled in turn, and felt pleasure clear down to the tip of his toes.  “Hey.”

“How’s it coming?”

“Fine.” 
Piss-poor, actually
.  The damn inspector failed to show up and sign off on the job, throwing him another day behind schedule.  And the longer he was here, the harder it was to leave.

Conscious of her glance to the sweat on his forehead, he swiped it dry.  At least the sun had pitched back behind the trees for the moment.  The heat today had been brutal.

Jennifer looked around, her features drawn into a soft expression of admiration.  “The yard is incredible...”

Jax followed her gaze.  From the pergola outside her bedroom doors, cruising past the pool, past the hedge of hibiscus, he settled on the arbor and fountain in the back.  Pleasure washed through him.  He knew it was everything she wanted and more.

“I can’t believe the transformation.”

Collecting his gloves in one hand, he set them against his hip.  “Amazing what two and a half weeks can do.”

“It’s amazing what
you
can do.”  She turned to him and his insides shifted beneath the point of her gaze.  “These flowers were only just put in the ground, yet look at them.”  She swept a hand toward the plump row of hibiscus.  “Healthy and full, they look as if they’ve been there for years.”

“It’s easy to set roots when the growing conditions are so perfect.”  Jax inwardly groaned. 
Did he really say that
?

“You’re modest.”  She smiled, as if she knew better.  “I noticed the fountain out front doesn’t have water.  Do you have an idea when can I fill it?  I’m anxious to start enjoying the sound of splashing water when I come home.”

Jax frowned.  “The inspector didn’t show today and I don’t want to fill it until he’s checked off the electrical and plumbing.”

“Oh,” she said.

Her disappointment was deafening.  “But as you can see,” he worked to re-ignite her pleasure, “the yard is basically finished—
ahead of schedule
.”

Crap.  By the wounded look in her eyes, it was clear his pride in a job well done had taken the form of a dart.  “I’m sorry—that’s not what I meant.”

“No,” she said and held up a hand.  “It’s all right.”

“I just want you to be happy with the job.”

“I am, Jax.”  She fell back into her smile.  “
Your performance has been exceptional
.  I’d definitely recommend Montgomery Landscape to anyone who asked.”

The compliment hung between them.

No uncertain terms, unequivocally, she made it clear her satisfaction.  On one level, he felt triumphant.  Your performance has been exceptional.  On another...

It was a kick to the stomach. 
I’m sorry, but you’ve wasted your time
.  He could hear the words as if she had said them aloud today.  Sure she had been nice of late, but that first meeting was all coming back to him.  You’re good enough to work here, he heard, but not good enough for more.  You’re a bartender doing yards on the side.

Jax clamped down on the well of resentment.  He should never have let himself care.  He knew this is where it would lead.  He was a laborer. She was a professional.

The two worlds didn’t mix.

He stepped away from her.  “Yeah, well, all I’m waiting on now is inspection.  Once the guy comes and signs off on the job, I’ll fill the fountains and you’ll be ready to take the big plunge.”  Jax didn’t smile, despite the fact it would be required for a humorous delivery.

She rubbed her hands down along the backside of her scrubs.  “Yes, well...”

While he thought she seemed uncomfortable, she didn’t appear to be going anywhere.  “So, what’s next for you, Jax?”

“The usual” he lied.  “More bids, more jobs.”

“Are you still intent on sailing the islands?”

“If you mean, do I intend to sail around the islands and do nothing, then, absolutely.  The answer is yes.”  Invigorated by the opening for a rebellious escape from his feelings, he added, “Can’t think of a better use of my time.”

It was his life and that’s how he wanted to live it.  It was also a subject he no longer wanted to share with her.  “Enough about me.  How about you.  Good day, bad day?”

Jennifer looked startled by the question.  “Fine, I guess.  Stressful, busy.”  She brushed long bangs behind an ear and her gaze turned evasive.

“Spent it at the hospital, did you?” he asked, indicating her scrub attire.

She looked down.  “Yes,” she murmured, almost as though she was surprised to discover the fact herself.

Back in control, Jax settled into a carefree attitude; a safe and comfortable attitude, considering the circumstances.  “Nothing life threatening, I hope.”

Jennifer brought her face up to meet his, and stared into his eyes.  “No, nothing life threatening.”

The frail quality of her voice, the stark vulnerability etched in her eyes...  “That’s good news, right?”

He tried to leave it open, in case she wanted to elaborate.

But she did not.  The conversation would have ended there, if left to its natural flow, but it didn’t.