Jessie (44 page)

Nate didn't know when he'd been so nervous. He told himself that this was Heather, his Heather, and there was nothing to fear, but his heart still pounded. This was the night. It seemed silly to worry when they'd already made plans as to where they would live, but he hadn't officially asked Heather to marry him and tonight was the night.

He had gone to supper at the house and now they were on a walk.

Sometimes they walked toward town, and sometimes they walked away from the main businesses of Token Creek. Tonight Nate had taken her hand and walked away from downtown. Heather was talking about something that Becky had told her concerning Danny, and he was doing his best to listen, but he wasn't quite able to pull it off.

“Nate?” Heather suddenly said, but that man didn't answer. She turned her head to watch him, but he looked distracted. Heather grew quiet then, and it took a minute for Nate to notice.

“Did you ask me something?”

“I did, but I think you're far away tonight.”

“I'm sorry, what did you need?”

Heather smiled. Her question had been tied in to the story with Becky and Danny.

“What did I miss?” Nate asked, catching her look.

“It wasn't important,” Heather said kindly, not at all offended.

Nate stopped and looked at her. He stepped until he was directly in front of her and took her other hand in his.

“Are you sure? I'm listening now.”

“I'm very sure. What did you have on your mind?”

“Mostly you.”

“Oh,” Heather was surprised. “Is anything wrong?”

“No, I'm just out of practice.”

“With what?”

“Asking someone to marry me.”

Heather's mouth opened, but Nate wasn't ready. He took just one of her hands and walked them on to a place they'd sat a few times. Large rocks provided natural seating, and Nate sat Heather down before sitting next to her. He kept her hand and looked into her eyes.

“The greatest gift I've ever known is eternal life. I think I've told you that.”

Heather nodded.

“I would never wish to insult God's work on the cross by comparing you to eternal life, Heather, but you are a gift to me.”

Heather watched his eyes grow moist, and she worked desperately not to cry.

“I didn't understand what a marriage in Christ could look like until I watched Rylan and Bri in their home. Then I spotted you. I certainly had known that you lived in town and thought you were beautiful, but that was about as far as it went.

“Then I kept seeing you at church and during fellowships. I couldn't stop thinking about how sweet and kind you were. At times I would see your face during the sermon and know that you were taking in every word. Your honesty and humility have been a huge example to me and are all part of the gift.”

Nate stopped, thinking he was saying this all wrong. There was so much in his heart, and he didn't know how to begin or end. He knew it was time to give up and ask.

“Will you marry me, Heather?”

“Yes.”

Nate's sigh was so huge that Heather had to laugh.

“What did you think I was going to say?”

“I don't know why I had myself so worked up over this, but I did.”

Heather reached up and touched his face and told him she loved him. Nate put his arms around her and kissed her. Heather kissed him right back. The sky was growing dark earlier these days, but they stayed out as long as they could, talking about the firsts. The first time they kissed, the first time Nate noticed her, and the first time Heather had a clue.

As they walked back to the house hand in hand, Heather realized Nate was as much a gift to her as she was to him. There was only one Person to thank for that, and Heather did with all her heart.

Jessie woke while it was still very dark out. She could hear Seth sleeping hard beside her and quietly slipped from the bed and bedroom. She had found her robe and slipped into it as she went to the living room and shut the door behind her. Moonlight flooded into both front windows, and Jessie stared at it. For a long time she felt nothing. Seth had said many reassuring things the night before, but everything had changed.

Two days earlier she would have said it was all going to last forever. She would have believed that nothing could alter the wonderful place she'd come back to, one where Seth loved and cared for her again. And even in those moments when she doubted he would stay, she was able to push the thought aside. Not now. If he left now, there would be a third child looking for his or her father. She had become weak, letting Seth get close, and this is what it got her.

Without warning the girls' faces came to mind. Jessie moved for the sofa and sat down wearily. Had she been on her own, she would have sent him away before he could hurt her. She remembered that he had changed and so had she, but in her mind this new baby altered everything.

Jessie wanted to cry but forced the tears away. The girls were more important now. She had to be strong for them. She would not let them know that she hadn't wanted this. She would not let them know that their father was not a man to be trusted. He had left before when she was carrying Clancy. He would leave again.

Eventually Jessie lay down on the sofa, fatigue covering her. Nevertheless, sleep did not come. She had no idea what time it was, and then realized she didn't care. At the moment she didn't care about anything but her daughters, forcing herself not to even think about the small life growing inside of her.

The girls were off to school, the store was open, and Jessie had not said ten words to Seth. They had talked for a long time the night before, and Seth had fallen asleep with his wife in his arms, but when he'd awakened, Jessie was not in bed. Seth found her on the sofa, lying down but wide awake.

She had not wanted to talk. He'd watched her be normal with the girls, sending them off with hugs, kisses, and laughter, but the moment they were gone, the sober look covered her face once again, and she moved to busy herself in the back room. Seth watched her for a time, noting that she didn't even peek at Chas' progress.

Several times Seth tried to speak with her, but her answers were nonexistent or so brief that he knew he was not getting through. Working not to panic, Seth ran the store, taking every spare moment to ask God for wisdom and help. He knew it was the baby and the fact that no matter what he said, she was sure he would leave again. There was simply no way to convince her that that wasn't going to happen.

The day felt like a week. When the girls came home, it brought some of the life back into Jessie, but Seth could see it was going to be a rough time. He felt almost desperate to talk to Rylan and gain his advice but thought leaving the apartment for even a short time was the worst thing he could do. Instead he stuck it out, was as normal for the girls as he could manage, and stayed right by his silent wife's side all through the evening. When she turned in, going in to sleep with the girls, Seth dropped to his knees right by the sofa. Only God could save his marriage now, and Seth began to ask for a miracle.

The doctor had given Bri permission to be up and around, but he had warned her to take it easy. He didn't want her doing much, but being downstairs, back in every room of the house, and even doing some work on meals was wonderful. Danny was at her side almost constantly, which suited Bri very well. She could not get enough of her small son, who seemed to smile and laugh all the time.

Rylan had left nearly all medical advice to Doctor Ertz, but when it came to Danny, he had set down one rule. He did not want Bri lifting their son. She had grown accustomed to lifting him as he grew, but that didn't change the fact that he was a heavy bundle. And because Bri was tall, bending that low over her extended stomach seemed not a good idea to him.

At the moment, however, none of that was an issue. Becky had come and cleaned the entire house, and Danny was taking a nap. Bri was on the front porch with her feet up. The day wasn't quite as warm as it had been, and there was a breeze that made sitting outside irresistible.

A fly came past her ear just then, and Bri watched it struggle in the wind. She thought about creatures that were born with wings and the different times Scripture mentioned flight. If memory served, it usually involved angels.

For a few minutes she wondered if she would fly in heaven. Would there be a purpose? Was there a verse that could tell her? And if she could, would her ability to fly glorify God?

Lately the topic of glorifying God was often on her mind. How did being bedridden and unable to take care of her husband and son glorify God? She had had many hours to think about this question, and her conclusion was the reason Rylan noticed. She never complained. Not at any point did she allow her troubled pregnancy to give her permission to sin. She could have so easily, but fretting and anxious thoughts were taken captive and dealt with. She called them what they were, hated them, and stopped, putting into practice one of the most practical exercises Rylan had ever shared with her.

Bri's thoughts were interrupted when she heard the pounding of hammers in the distance. When the air or wind was just right, she could hear Chas building Seth and Jessie's house. Until she heard Danny stirring from his place on the living room floor, she prayed for Jessie. She knew exactly what her friend needed. She only hoped the blindness concerning God would leave her friend very, very soon.

Jessie spent most of her time in the storeroom now. It was peaceful there, and she didn't have to see much of Seth or her customers. It gave her time to think. Jessie knew it was only a matter of time. She could hear the interest and belief in the girls' voices. They loved going to church with their father and listened intently to every Bible story and prayer he prayed. The baby would be the same way. It was only a matter of time before their young, impressionable hearts would believe just as their father did. After all, didn't she believe just as her father had?

Seth said he wasn't leaving, and Jessie knew he meant well. But she could see the future. He wouldn't plan to leave, but how long can a man of faith live with an atheist? And with the baby coming, there would soon be four of them. She would be the only one who did not embrace belief in God.