Jingle All the Mitchell Way: A Holiday Novella (5 page)

Chapter 7

Jax

“All aboard the Love train, destination North Pole.” I said while waving the family to enter the motorhome. Ever since my brother had come up with the idea, Amber had gone into planning mode, making sure we didn’t leave a single thing we could ever need at home. I swear, if she could have packed the whole damn kitchen sink, it would have been included.

Between her own clothes, and all the twins things, I was left with a small kitchen drawer for my shit. Did I mention the Santa suit? Yep, you read it right. She packed one of those too, claiming we might miss the opportunity to have the girls get their picture taken, as if we wouldn’t be driving through towns with Malls where some creepy old man sat around all day getting his jollies from little children who waited in line to visit him, hoping for the opportunity to ask him for something his parents would never approve of. Okay, maybe that was a little irrational. Let’s just say I didn’t have fond memories of Santa Claus. To be honest, the whole idea of him creeped me out. People allow their kids to sit on their laps. Do they not consider they could be a pedophile? Half of them probably were, getting stiffies from innocent victims while their parents took pictures of the whole ordeal. Some could be scarred for life, perhaps even doing everything in their power to prevent their own children from being subdued to such blasphemy.

Jake says I’m crazy. He thinks all kids need to experience Christmas. With Amber on his side, I’d never gotten a chance to convince either otherwise.

So back to the Santa suit. Even though the idea was preposterous, I was going to have to suffer through it so my girls could add some pictures to the growing memory book my wife was building.

It was a good thing the motorized home came equipped with a washer and dryer, since I’d packed a total of three full outfits, one coat, and two pair of shoes, which happened to be stored under the bathroom sink, with the twenty-four pack of biodegradable toilet paper the girls insisted they’d need.

Amber wouldn’t be around during the day to wash the clothes, and I was certain Reese wasn’t going to offer to clean my drawers. It’s funny, to people who never knew us before, they’d swear Reese and I couldn’t have been a couple. We were opposite, and she made it known how much I normally disgusted her.

It was hard to imagine what it would be like with the six of us forced to be together in the small motorhome for an entire month. In the days leading up to our trip, my parents speculated on which one of us would bow out first, finding a nearby airport to fly home instead of sticking it out. Amber had to be in three different places to shoot the movie; all located within the Untied States boundaries. I’m not sure how they’d planned it, but she’d be shooting the final scenes of the film first in New Orleans, followed by the majority of the movie taking place outside of Dallas Texas, finally ending up in Colorado for the last week, according to the schedule. Since Amber was a supporting character, she wouldn’t have to report unless she was scheduled that day, giving us time to spend as a family, shopping and doing what was needed for the holidays.

While Amber would be on set, the three remaining adults, me, my brother and Reese would be in charge of managing the twins, and making sure life went on while Mommy was busy becoming more famous.

I worried it was all going to fall apart. It was only a matter of time before someone lost their shit being cramped together in such a small space for a long period of time.

Bear in mind, Jake and I spent most of our lives sharing everything. It wasn’t the two of us who would get annoyed first. Normally Amber and Reese got along, but these circumstances were different. Amber would be working long hours. There was a chance that some of the days would turn into nights, forcing her to stay away until the job was completed. We’d talked about it several times, both of us knowing it was part of her job. She was doing this, not only for herself to fulfill a dream, but also to give our girls a better future. Let’s face it, we weren’t hard up for money, but having more never hurt anyone, right?

After driving several hours, Jake got a call from our father claiming he’d left us a few presents. Right away we speculated on what they could be, and if it would be something we’d be able to handle, like backing up the sewage, or filling the water containment system with fruit juice. Since the motorhome had been stored closest to his house, there was no telling what he’d done, and a part of me wanted to pull over just to look around.

“I’m kind of concerned, dude.”

“Dad wouldn’t endanger the twins,” Jake replied. “He’s probably yanking your chain. He knows how much I spent on this, he won’t screw with anything structural or otherwise. We’re cool. Worst case is he stuck something in a compartment to make the place stink.”

Since we were constantly hiding fish guts in inconspicuous places to get a rise out of our father, it wouldn’t be unlike him to return the gesture to us, especially since we were forced to be under such close quarters for the next month.

“The girls will flip out.”

“They can take it up with pops. Let’s just worry about getting Amber to her first location, and then we’ll scour every nook and cranny to figure out what the old man did or didn’t do.”

“Sounds good to me.”

It wasn’t even fifteen minutes later when we heard screaming coming from the back of the RV. I pulled over on the shoulder of the road and hauled ass behind my brother to discover my wife and Reese staring into the toilet. A large fake snake was coiled within, sticking out just enough to touch them when they sat down. “Which one of you morons did this?” Amber was furious.

I shrugged, as did my brother. “It wasn’t us, baby. I swear.”

“Who then?” She requested.

“Dad. He said he left us presents.”

Her eyes widened. “Presents. Like plural? How many?”

“No clue. I’ve got to say,” I paused for a moment to take a second look. “That one was pretty good. Did you see it before or after you sat your ass down on the seat?”

She growled while pushing past me to go back and sit with the girls. “Jerks!”

Reese shook her head while following behind, never giving either of us her two-cents.

I gave a glance in my brother’s direction, watching as he fished the snake out of the toilet. He put his foot on the lever for the small wastebasket and tossed it in, finishing by washing off his hands.

“Ew, was it wet?”

“I’m not taking any chances. I wouldn’t want your wife’s pee on my hands. God only knows what type of aphrodisiac it contains.”

“Trust me, she’s never peed on me. I’m not into golden showers like you. I’m also opposed to defecating on each other. If you and Reese dabble in it from time to time I’d prefer it if you keep it to yourselves. I happened to prefer clean fucking.”

“Jax!” Amber scorned. “The girls. Watch your language.”

“You two are sickos,” Reese added.

“Don’t get on me about it,” I argued. “It’s your fetish.”

While she did her best to ignore me, Jake and I got back on the road, determined to make good time getting to our first stop.

With our destination set on New Orleans, we knew we’d have a full night’s worth of driving. By taking turns we’d be able to make it without stopping, allowing the girls and the twins to get a good night sleep. Amber would have two days before she began filming. She’d been running lines in anticipation, but I knew her nerves were shot, though she refused to admit it. With no formal training, I prayed my wife would have what it took to play the role with ease. She’d done plenty of videos, so it wasn’t far-fetched to believe she could do a good job. I wanted the best for her. The idea of her getting bad reviews, or being told she was horrible wouldn’t sit well with me. It was my job to protect her, and even though I’d never be a rich movie star, it was clear I’d always be her hero. I planned on keeping it that way too, so one of those wealthy schmucks couldn’t try to take her away from the life we had back in North Carolina.

“Dude, are we there yet?” Jake asked after we’d been driving on the same road for several hours.

“If we were there my ass would be in bed with my wife. Quit your complaining. You’re supposed to be looking for deer before they run out into the road and fuck up this pretty machinery you plan on keeping.”

“I’ve got insurance,” he mumbled while checking out our surroundings anyway. The area we were driving through was pitch black and cloudy. Not even the moon could be used to illuminate our way. I was getting tired of following my headlights, praying I’d come up on a tractor trailer to follow behind to keep focused.

Jake began humming a familiar holiday jingle. As much as I hated Christmas carols, I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel to the beat. After a few seconds we both began belting out the lyrics, paying no mind to the sleeping crew in the back. “Jingle Bells. Jingle Bells. Jingle all the way…”

Jake played air guitar in the seat next to me while finishing. “Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh.”

We pointed toward each other. “Hey!”

We finished the song, continuing on with another one of our favorites. For a few minutes it was entertaining, making the monotony seem a little more bearable, up until I heard someone clearing their throat behind me. “Are you two having fun?” Reese said in a soft voice.

“Is everyone asleep back there?” Jake asked.

“They won’t be for long, not with you two having a rock concert.”

“Sorry,” he apologized. “We were trying to pass the time.”

“How was Amber? Is she freaking out yet?”

“She took a Xanax. I guess it helped her go to sleep. I told her I’d manage the twins if they woke up, that’s why I’d appreciate it if you kept it down. She needs her rest. Tomorrow is going to be huge for her. It’s not like meeting a movie star on the street. She’s going to be working with these people day to day. She wants to prove herself worthy. Amber doesn’t want recognition for her pretty face. She’s determined to make a name for herself. I’ve got to give her credit. I’d never be able to put myself out there. People are assholes. I wouldn’t want the scrutiny.”

“That’s why she’s the star and you’re the sidekick,” I added. I wasn’t trying to give Reese a hard time. In her own way, she was stunning, but more like the hometown chick every guy had a crush on. Amber was the type of woman you couldn’t get out of your mind. She had me hook, line and sinker from the first time I laid eyes or her, and as hard as it was to believe, she’d picked me to spend the rest of her life with.

With her career blossoming, I’d promised to pick up the slack at home, and in this case, on the road. The most important thing was for us to be a family, and we were both determined to make sure we didn’t take another for granted.

During my momentary reminiscing, I felt a strong pull on the steering wheel, causing me to immediately slow the vehicle down. “Holy shit! Something is wrong.”

“What do you mean? We just got this thing,” Jake argued.

“Dude, did they do an inspection?”

“Yeah, remember when I took it back to finalize the paperwork? They said everything was still new.”

“Just because it hasn’t been used doesn’t mean shit won’t go bad. Didn’t you learn anything from working all these years? I’m pretty sure she’s got a flat tire, and your ass better hope there is a real replacement, or else we’re going to be camping out on the side of this road until help arrives.”

Jake didn’t seem too sure of what the motorhome came with. He’d made a purchase on the whim, not thinking it out like he normally did. As much as I appreciated what he was doing for my family, a part of me was angry he hadn’t put more care into the trip.

“Ugh! I better go check on the kids. They’ll probably wake up since we’re not moving. Apparently it’s freezing outside. Make sure you put on some coats before going out there.” Reese exclaimed while heading toward the rear of the RV.

“We don’t need coats. We’re men. We’re invincible,” I suggested while Jake and I made our way out in the frigid temperatures. Reese was right. Even though we’d headed south, the weather had changed drastically. A chill struck me the moment my feet hit the asphalt. I contemplated going back in for a coat and gloves, but didn’t want my brother calling me a pussy. If he could endure it, so would I.

Jake and I discovered right away that the left front tire was completely blown.