Jolted (Conflicted Encounters #1) (25 page)

"Ryder, I can’t be late," she sighed into my chest.
 

"Fine," I whined. Her eyes studied my face as she slowly pulled away from me. I could see her trying to read me. Her mind was always working, always worrying. "I'll make coffee."

I left the room to make the coffee while she showered and got into her work uniform. She came out of the bathroom with the pink dress, straight out of the fifties, and her blonde hair pulled up into a tight bun. She gave me a nervous smile as she took the coffee from my hands.

Looking down at her, I could only see what was under the dress. With every word she spoke, I only heard her moans and my name coming from her lips. I felt hyperaware of her every movement and even the slightest breath. My hands and body automatically gravitated to her and I itched to get her back into my bed.

I drove her into work, not wanting her to walk when I was driving into work at the same time. She waved as she skipped into the diner. Once she was inside, I pulled out and made the short drive to the garage. I shook my head at myself as I walked in and clocked in. I knew I was playing with fire, but most of me didn't care.

Everything in me wanted to be with her and to have her. I have dreamed and thought about her since the moment I set my eyes on her, but now that I knew what it was like to act on my desires, I could never seem to have enough. Scarlett had warned me over and over to stay away from her, but her warnings were falling on deaf ears now.
 

I shook off the feeling of the imminent disaster and went to check on Kallie's car. I managed to get her blown motor out and the replacement was waiting on the engine hoist. Wanting to procrastinate, I helped finish a tune up on a truck and oil change on a tractor before lunch time rolled around.

"Hey, lets get this motor dropped," Travis called over to me.
 

"Sure," I said, coming over to the Mercedes.
 

"I just want to this damn thing over with," he muttered as he wheeled over the motor and positioned it over the open hood. I bit my tongue to keep from disagreeing.
 

We made a quick process of lowering the motor into place. The rest of the afternoon was spent hooking up the hoses and wires. With any other vehicle, Travis and I could have finished within hours. The foreign car was different from what we were used to, and we had to use a manual to know what the hell we were doing.
 

By the end of the day, my back was sore from bending over the car all day. I cleaned up as much of the grease as I could and hopped in my truck. Checking the clock, I knew she wouldn't be off work yet. I hated thinking she would be walking home in this heat after working her ass off all day.
 

When I walked into the diner, I saw her blonde hair zoom out from the kitchen with someone's meal. She floated across the room, giving customers smiles and making them laugh. I leaned against the wall and watched her work.
 

She was so graceful and gentle as she approached people, never letting her smile fade. I saw their faces light up and their eyes lock to her the moment she asked if there was anything she could get them. Watching her work and interact, I saw the full scope of her class and warmth. I hated the contrast I could see between us.
 

I was darkness, whereas she was light. She was love and joy, while I was hate and anger. She was brilliant, smart, and had everything to offer the world. I was bitter, with no college education, and could manage nothing more than screwing things up. I watched as she laughed and poured more water for a familiar face.
 

My blood boiled as I watched Caleb's eyes wandering down her tight form. I clenched my fists and stiffly walked over to his booth, taking a seat. I couldn't help but smirk at both of their surprised expressions.
 

"Hey, buddy," Caleb said with a face of arrogance.

"Hey," I snipped. "Will you be ready soon, Kallie? I came to give you a ride. It's hot out."

She blinked at me before nodding and heading back to the kitchen.

"Finally," Caleb said, throwing a sugar packet at me.

"What?" I asked as I tossed it back at him. Much harder.

"You finally admitted it," he said simply. When I stared back at him in confusion, he sighed. "Kallie. You like her."

"Fuck off," I said looking away. "What are we, in third grade?"

"Good for you," he said while he left some cash on the table and slid out of the booth.
 

Seconds later, Kallie came out from the back with her purse and a milk shake. "Can I drink this before we go?" she asked.

"Of course. Sit," I told her, and she took the spot Caleb had just been occupying. "Long day?"

"Yes," she sighed and took a sip of the shake. "And hot. How was your day?"

"It was okay. Your car should be ready soon."

"Oh."

Aside from Scarlett, I was never good at reading people and what they were thinking. I could read Scarlett from just a glance, and she could do the same with me. We were twins after all and had spent our entire lives together. But, Kallie had the most expressive face I had ever seen. I watched a wave of thoughts and feelings flicker across her features. Surprise, disappointment, wonder, confusion, excitement, and then finally settling on something I could only label as empty.
 

"Great," she said in a level tone.
 

I struggled to find words. I didn't know what she would do when I traded her keys for the check in a day or so. Would she get in and drive back home? Would we ever speak again? Would she want to stay? What did I want her to do? Watching her lips wrap around the straw distracted me from all the questions I had on my mind.
 

"Wanna go for a drive?" I asked her as she finished the shake and handed it off to the bus boy.
 

"Sure," she replied without hesitation.

I wasn't ready to be in the apartment with her where the questions would come. Where we would have to decide where she would sleep and how we would act around each other. If Scarlett was there, that would force us to behave like nothing happened until she went to sleep. If she wasn't there, then I would just worry where she was and who she was with. I didn't want to think anymore.
 

We drove along the country roads. There wasn't much to look at besides empty fields and some wooded lots. Her hair blew around in the wind and the music from my radio left conversation impossible. I calmed down as I watched barns and scenes of the simple life rush past my windshield.

This was the world I was used to. Nothing to do. No one better to be. I could forget that the girl in the passenger seat had ambitions and a future ahead of her. I could forget that she was a better person than I could ever be and I would only bring her down. The sounds of her charms clinking together made me force her hands still.
 

"What are you so nervous about?" I asked her, turning down the radio.
 

"Nothing," she answered quickly.
 

"Bull shit," I laughed at her.
 

"When do I pick up my car?" she asked, finally bringing up the awkward topic.
 

"Tomorrow or the day after."

She sighed. "I just didn't prepare myself for going home yet."
 

I looked over at her and she was staring out the side window. I could see the worry and distress written all over her face, and my insides clenched. I pulled the truck over into a service path under some power lines. She looked around frantically at our sudden stop.
 

"Why don't you want to go home?" I asked her.
 

"Because I'm someone different here."

"You can't be that person there?"

"No. I can't, Ryder," she huffed, and then crossed her arms.
 

"Why?"
 

"Because no one would understand me," she snapped with frustration. I watched as her body started to shake and her face grew red with anger. "Here, I'm alive. I can feel. I can live and learn. I don't hurt as much and I forget. When I go home, I need to suck it up, smile, and be the girl I was raised to be. But how the fuck do I do that now? I'm not going to be a politician's wife anymore. I have no idea if I still want to go to school for business, and I'm expected to start classes in the fall. I don't want to spend another day at our family store and that's the life plan!"

I flinched at her outburst and her cuss word. She rarely swore and I only ever saw her angry with me, never anyone else. She was always calm and composed.
 

"Then don't," I said, grabbing her chin to make her look at me. Her clear blue eyes were watering over. I let the words replaying in my mind come out of my mouth without thought. "You can stay."

Regardless of if I wanted her to stay or not, I knew I couldn't make her leave if it would make her this unhappy. She could stay for herself, not for me.

"I can't."

"Your choice."

Her eyes got wide and she stared back at me. Her lips crashed to mine and her hands clenched in my hair. I groaned and pulled her body into me. I leaned into her and pushed her against the door, pulling a whimper from her. Our tongues clashed together, fighting for control.
 

My hands moved over any part of her I could touch. After hours of exploring her body in bed, every touch still felt like the first time. Every inch felt like new territory for me. I could honestly kiss this mouth and touch this body every night and never get bored. That thought alone caused me to freeze and pull back abruptly.
 

Kallie looked up at me, startled and short of breath. Her chest heaved under me as she searched my face, trying to figure out why I stopped. I sensed it when she finally realized what I was thinking. The look of defeat and resolve broke me in two. When she made a move to push me off, I resisted. I couldn't let her push me away, even though I should.

I slowly came back down to her, stopping just before our lips touched. I could feel her breath rolling over my mouth. I brushed her lips lightly with mine and heard her sharp intake.
 

"I'm no good for you," I rasped.

"You don't get to decide what's good for me," she whispered back.

"I'll break you," I warned, squeezing my eyes closed.

"I'm already broken, Ryder."

"You can do better."

"My choice," she said before she closed the space between us.
 

We kissed until my lips were numb. The cab of my truck was reaching temperatures that would soon cause heat stroke. The sound of our panting and moans drowned out the music softly playing in the background. Her nails clawed at my back and my chest as our hands started to grow frantic.

I froze when I heard the hiss of pain from her lips. My hands were gripped on her sides. I completely forgot her sore skin from the tattoo. I jumped off her like I had been shocked.
 

"Sorry," I told her.

"No," she said as she pulled herself up and mounted herself on top of me.
 

We started back right where we left off. I kept my hands away from her tattoo and paid no attention to our surroundings. The pink tint of the sun setting lit up the cab while we groped and grabbed at each other. Her hips moved against mine and her small hands pulled at my hair.
 

I slid one hand up under the skirt of her dress and put the other on her chest to push her back against the steering wheel. I wanted to watch her face as I slide my fingers inside her. Her head rolled back and her eyes closed. Her breathing quickened and her face grew redder with the speed of my fingers in her. Without blinking, I watched her face and the pleasure I was giving her.

As her body trembled and clenched on top of me, I felt a sense of accomplishment I’d never felt before. I gave her this. She cried out my name and my ears were the only ones that could hear it. I realized that was I scene I would never be able to erase from my memory. And I didn’t want to, either.

"How was that for feeling? For living and learning?" I asked in a tight voice close to her ear as she gasped for air.

"Exactly how it should be."

I looked over at her sleeping form on the drive home. Her head was resting on the window and her face looked quiet and calm. Her face was always showing dozens of thoughts and feelings. Now, it was relaxed, and I couldn't help but feel that I made that happen for this small moment in time.
 

I had no idea what she had gone through or what had made a girl that had a plan, had dreams and knew what she was doing, decided to throw it all out the window. But looking at her, I knew I couldn't force her to go home and be somewhere she didn't want to be. I wasn't sure that staying was the best idea, but I couldn't bring myself to watch her leave.
 

I parked at the apartment and was relieved, and disappointed at the same time, to see Scarlett's car. I quietly and gently lifted Kallie out the truck and carried her up the stairs. I walked past Scarlett on the couch and placed Kallie in my bed. Not wanting to wake her, I tip toed back out to the living room.

"Hey." I took a seat next to my sister.
 

"Hey back," she said. "Where were you guys?"

"Went for a drive," I told her. "Her car should be ready in a day or so." I knew I didn't need to explain to her what that meant.
 

"What happens then?" she asked.

"Up to her. I told her she didn't need to go home," I admitted as I put my face in my hands.

"What do you want?" she asked, turning toward me.
 

"I want her to do what she wants to do," I said, trying to avoid eye contact with the mind reader. She has always been able to see right through me.

"Which means," she said, pausing to think, "that you want her to want to stay, or you feel bad asking her to leave." I just nodded.

"I'm going with the first guess."
 

"I don't need your lecture, Scar," I mumbled.