Journey of the Heart (15 page)

Gabe’s face flushed with pleasure and embarrassment. “Thank you, Mrs. Burke.” He hesitated and then continued, “Don’t make too much of my staying. I love working with the horses and I like working for Mr. Burke.”

“And it gives you a chance to stop running?”

“I’m not on the run, ma’am. I told Mr. Burke that right off.”

“I know, Gabe, and I shouldn’t pry. But from what you’ve said, you’ve been wandering for some time.”

Gabe was quiet for a minute and then said, “I had planned to settle down some years back, Mrs. Burke. Build up my own herd. Even marry.”

“I shouldn’t have asked, Gabe,” said Elizabeth when she saw how hard it was for him to talk of such matters.

“No, if I am to stay and if my sister is here, then you have a right to know. I worked in Lincoln for Mr. Tunstall.”

“I see,” said Elizabeth quietly.

“It all seemed real clear in the beginning, Mrs. Burke. And I am not ashamed to admit that I rode with the Regulators for a while. Of course, things weren’t so clear by the end.”

“So you rode with Billy the Kid,” said Elizabeth, horror and awe combining in her voice.

“William Bonney? Yes, ma’am.” Gabe gave her an ironic smile. “The newspapers sure did love him! He wasn’t that bad to begin with. Real wild, but not real bad.”

Elizabeth heard the despair and anger in Gabe’s voice as he continued. “They murdered Tunstall in cold blood, Mrs. Burke. And the legally constituted authorities from the governor on down were corrupt.” Gabe hesitated. “She could never see that.”

“She?”

“The girl I was going to marry. Oh, I guess I can understand it now. Caroline hated the violence. She couldn’t really believe that the law could be so corrupt. She came to hate me in the end.”

Elizabeth clasped her hands together and trying to keep her voice calm, said, “Do you think it will come to that with Mackie, Gabe?”

“I hope not. Mackie seems the same sort of snake as Thomas Catron, but a smaller one. I think he’ll have to be satisfied with the piece of the valley he’s already got.”

“I love this country, Gabe,” said Elizabeth. “There is something about its harsh beauty that speaks to me. But I hate its violence,” she continued passionately. “I lost my family in a Comanchero massacre, a husband to the Navajo…. We’ve worked so hard here, Gabe. Michael has broken his back to make this place what it is. Things were peaceful, though. But it seems like the attack on Night Sky was the beginning of everything. Perhaps it is best that Caitlin is going back east. She’ll be out of this, at least.” Elizabeth looked up at him and said with a half laugh, half sob, “I
am
sorry to go on like that.”

“It’s all right, ma’am. I hate violence myself, believe it or not. One thing I can say, ma’am, is that I am
good
at it when being good is necessary, not that I’m proud of that. If it helps you and Mr. Burke, then I’m glad of it.”

“Thank you for staying, Gabe. I hope Sadie’s visit isn’t spoiled by any trouble.”

“Men like Mackie work slow at first, Mrs. Burke. I’ll hustle Sadie out of here if it begins to get bad. Thank you for putting her up.”

“It is no problem, Gabe. She can have Henry’s room; he’s leaving for California in a few days.”

“He seems like a good man, Mr. Beecham,” said Gabe politely as he got up from the table.

“Yes, a man who is committed to the law. Well, back east it is easier to be,” said Elizabeth. “Cait will be safe with him.”

Gabe walked back to the barn thinking about Henry Beecham and Caitlin Burke. What a difference between mother and daughter, he thought. The East had been home to Mrs. Burke, but she had let her heart open to this bleak and beautiful land. Yet Caitlin Burke who had grown up here was able to leave it in order to be safe with her Mr. Henry. Henry would keep her safe all right, thought Gabe as he grabbed Night Sky’s halter and walked down to the near pasture to whistle him in. I’ll bet he even kisses safe. Miss Caitlin Burke would not be safe with me and she’d know that right off the first time I ever kissed her.

“The horse seems to be coming along very well, Mr. Hart,” said Henry. He and Cait had returned from their ride just as Gabe was finishing up with Sky. He led the horse over to them so that Cait could give him his usual treat.

“He’s doing better than I ever thought he might,” agreed Gabe. “I’ve gotten him to stand for a light going over with my old shirt. I can even leave it on his back for a minute or two. Of course, it’s as light as a feather, so don’t get your hopes up, Miss Burke,” added Gabe as he saw Cait’s face light up.

“It is a shame I can’t see you ride Sky before I leave, Cait,” said Henry after Gabe led the horse away. “But I suppose it will take a few more weeks before he’ll even take a saddle.”

Later, Cait would want to blame Henry for putting the idea in her head. But it really wasn’t his fault. It was all hers. That night she dreamed she was riding Night Sky with no saddle or even a blanket. They were cantering down the road toward Oak Canyon and he was as happy to have her on his back as she was to be on it.

When she awoke, she couldn’t shake off her dream and Henry’s words came back to her. He was leaving the day after tomorrow. Why
couldn’t
she ride Sky for him? She knew it was a crazy thought, but she just couldn’t get it out of her head. Maybe Gabe was wrong. Maybe he was going too slowly with the horse. He
was
her horse, after all. He knew her and trusted her as well as he did Gabe Hart. It would be risky, of course, but what a glorious risk, if she could ride him for Henry as she had ridden in her dream.

Something had been building in her since the dance. She’d been scared by Chavez, she who had never feared anyone in her life. Henry was going to come back and take her away from all this. He was a good, safe man, was Henry Beecham. She was lucky to have him. Lucky to love him. Yet something in her wasn’t satisfied. She wanted something that she couldn’t even put a name to. Not danger, exactly, or at least, not the sort that Chavez threatened. She wanted to be one with the wild spirit of Sky, just as she had in her dream. Henry was leaving in the morning. She would spend some time with Sky today, maybe see how he took to her rubbing him down with the old shirt. If this craziness still had hold of her tomorrow morning, well, then, she’d ride him.

Maybe she wouldn’t have gone through with it if Gabe hadn’t come into the barn while she was brushing Sky. She had the piece of old shirt in her hand and was working her way lightly down his neck. She could feel the shivers that ran through the horse, but Gabe had him gentled enough that he didn’t actually step away from her.

“I don’t mind you brushing him, Miss Burke, but for now, I think I’m the only one who should be laying that shirt across his back,” he said in a low voice.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t going anywhere near his back,” said Cait self-righteously.

Now that’s a damn lie, thought Gabe as he saw her color up. But he didn’t want to push her any more than he wanted to push the colt. He could understand her impatience. Somedays, his own threatened to take over and he would be sweating more with the effort to control it than from the work he was doing with Night Sky.

“I know how much you want to see him gentled before you leave, Miss Cait,” he said in a sympathetic voice.

“Yes, but I am sure you are right, Mr. Hart. It is better not to rush things,” she said sweetly.

It took everything she had to answer him that way. She was annoyed that he had caught her and all her initial jealousy at his position on the ranch flowed back. She didn’t know what it was about Gabe Hart, but he raised such
feelings
in her. Feelings that made her want to hit him. Or kiss him. No, of course, she didn’t want to kiss him, she thought, appalled at the thought. She didn’t want to kiss anyone but Henry. She wanted to kiss Henry wildly and passionately. And she wanted to ride Night Sky.

* * * *

Cait was up and dressed before dawn the next morning. She crept quietly downstairs in her stocking feet, only slipping on her boots after she sat down on the porch steps. She was shaking inside with excitement and fear and the sense that she might be doing something very foolish. But she was being driven to it by something in herself she couldn’t begin to understand, so she just took a deep breath and went into the barn to get Sky’s halter and a bucket of oats.

She gave Gabe’s distinctive whistle and the horse came trotting over from the back pasture, stopping a few feet away with a quizzical look in his eye as if to say: “You’re not Gabe?” but when she rattled the bucket, he came over to her eagerly. She talked to him softly as he ate and scratched his ears and then slipped the halter on before he knew it. She breathed into his nostrils, the way Da had taught her and Sky stood quietly, gazing into her eyes calmly. She led him down to the corral, walking close to his shoulder and felt a great joy as they moved together as one. She could feel the connection with him. He
wanted
to follow her. She was sure he wanted her to be the first one to ride him.

She had decided to do it quickly. No slow strokes with the old shirt. She would lead him to the fence, tie him loosely, climb up on the rails, and then let herself down slowly until she was on his back. If he stood still, she would untie the halter rope and ride him around the corral.

She had him tied and she had just climbed the fence when she saw the barn door open and Gabe emerge, barefoot and shirtless.

“No,” he shouted just as she lowered herself to Sky’s back and then the world exploded.

* * * *

Gabe hadn’t slept well that night and he was awake earlier than usual, feeling he’d been run over by a herd of cattle. His mouth was as dry as a bone, and he got up quietly so as not to wake Jake and pulled his pants on over his bare ass. He needed to pee and then he’d get a drink from the pump back of the barn.

Just as he had filled his cupped hand he heard what sounded like a horse moving around the corral. He frowned, still not thinking clearly, but sure that none of them should be there.

He came around the side of the barn slowly and was still so sleepy that he didn’t immediately take in the scene in front of him: Night Sky tied to the fence and Caitlin Burke just about ready to slide her leg over him.

He’d never been so angry in his life. Here he’d worked months with the horse and she was going to wreck it all in a few seconds.

But he yelled too late to stop her. As soon as Sky felt her skirt brush across his back, even before he felt her full weight, he went crazy. As he watched, Gabe realized that the horse was not trying to shake off Caitlin Burke. He was back wherever he’d been attacked and was mad with fear, trying to shake off a mountain lion.

It was worse because Cait had tied him and she was lucky that she was bucked off high and to the side, otherwise she might have been caught under his hooves, which plunged down again and again as though he was trampling his enemy into the dirt.

Gabe was frozen for a second and then ran to where Cait lay in the dirt. He was terrified and when he reached her side, knelt down, afraid to touch her in case something was broken. When she opened her eyes, he saw a terrible fear come into them as she struggled for air. At first he thought she had broken a rib and punctured a lung and then he realized she’d just had the breath knocked out of her. All his anger returned, strengthened by his fear.

He stood up and said in a shaking voice, “Damn you to hell and back, Miss Burke, you deserve to have more than the wind knocked out of you.” He turned his back on her and went over to see what he could do with her horse.

Cait wanted to cry, but she could hardly get her breath to breathe, much less sob. She felt like a collapsed balloon and was sure she would die before her lungs could expand again. But finally her attempts at breathing succeeded and she sucked in air gratefully. She moved everything gently. Nothing seemed to be broken, so she pulled herself up. At first the ground rocked beneath her feet and she had to drop to her knees until the dizziness went away.

Then she lifted her head and looked at what she’d done. Sky was standing there soaking wet, his ears laid back and his cheeks rubbed raw from where he’d pulled at the halter to get free. Gabe was five feet away from him, holding his hands out as though in supplication, murmuring softly. Every time he tried to get closer, Sky pulled away, trying to break free.

The tears poured down Caitlin’s face. What on earth had she done? Whatever had possessed her? She’d known how to handle a horse better when she was ten. For the first time in her life, she had terrified a horse, a horse that she loved, ruined maybe for good and why? She didn’t even know the answer to that question.

“Don’t come near him,” Gabe muttered harshly as she came up behind him. Or me, he wanted to add, or I just might shake you until your teeth rattle.

He tried once more to get close to the horse, but it only made Sky roll his eyes with fear and pull against the rope again. There is no sense in him rubbing his cheeks bloody, thought Gabe, and he turned back to Cait, grabbing her arm and pulling her toward the fence.

“Climb over the fence, Miss Cait, and go get yourself washed up.”

He stood there like an avenging angel. But Gabriel was a messenger, thought Cait irrationally as she stared at him from the other side of the fence. His hair was all elf-locks, he was barefoot and bare-chested. His face was as cold as she imagined the devil’s would be.

“I am so sorry, Mr. Hart,” she whispered.

“Tell him that, Miss Burke. And hope that sometime soon he’ll listen to you,” said Gabe, and he walked off into the barn.

Cait was sitting huddled in the kitchen as dirty as she was when she left the corral when Elizabeth came down to stoke the stove. Usually Michael did this for her but he was still asleep and she’d been awakened by the tail end of a nightmare. She was getting more used to them and was only grateful that this one had come early in the morning, for it was hard to get back to sleep with those images playing in front of her eyes.