Jude (Beautiful Mine #2) (10 page)

JUDE

“So, how’d it go?” my mother’s stone cold, emotionless voice asked from the other line. “Your weekend with America’s Sweetheart?”

I gritted my teeth, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. If I didn’t tell her exactly what she wanted to hear, there would be consequences. I knew better than to make a deal with the devil.

“It was fine,” I said.

“Just… fine? Care to elaborate?”

“She was here a couple a days,” I said, trying to hide my resentment toward her in my voice. “We did some touristy things. Talked a bit. It was a nice time.”

“How sweet,” she said with rampant sarcasm. “Sounds like she’s got you under her spell now, too.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Why are you so defensive, Jude?” she sneered. “What, you love her now, too?”

My nostrils flared as I bit my tongue.

“You do, don’t you? You love her.” The icy snap in her tone told me she was none too pleased.

“I don’t love her,” I said. “I just don’t really see what you see. She seems like a nice girl.”

“I know exactly what kind of girl she is, and she is not a nice girl, Jude,” my mother snipped. “Now, I’m paying you very good money to dig up dirt on her. Find me something.”

“And what’s that going to do, huh?” I asked. “None of it changes the fact that Julian left everything to her in his will. She deserves to know.”

“You better not tell her a damn thing,” she sneered. “So help me, Jude…”

“What, so the money’s just going to sit there in a bank account, untouched?”

“I’d rather those thirty-one million dollars sit there accruing interest for all of eternity than have Evie Cawthorn’s greedy little paws all over it.”

“Evie Garner-Willoughby,” I reminded her. Nausea flooded my stomach as the reality of being in cahoots with Caroline set in. I had no one to blame but myself, and I knew that. Evie didn’t deserve any of this. She needed to know, and I needed to figure out a way to tell her that wouldn’t send her scrambling to get far away from me.

“I’ll remind you one more time, Jude,” Caroline said. “If you don’t get me the information I need, I’m withdrawing my investment from your company.”

“You can’t do that,” I said.

“I’ll sell my share for pennies on the dollar,” she said, “if that’s what it takes.”

She wasn’t bluffing. Something like that would destroy my company and everything I’d worked for.

“What do you need info on Evie for, anyway?” I said. “What are you going to do with it?”

“None of your concern.” Caroline ended the call. She always had to have the last word.

***

Two weeks had passed since Evie went home. I thought about her every day. Any time I’d drive by the tapas restaurant or see a sign for the pier or sit outside on the balcony, I thought of her, what she was doing, what she was thinking. How big of an asshole I was.

I pulled one of Julian’s letters from my wallet. I’d done nothing but carry it around everywhere I went ever since he’d died. The instructions were clear: love Evie. Take care of Evie. I’d done nothing but walk her straight into the lion’s den.

All my calls, all of my texts, everything went unreturned. It was as if she was mad at me for kissing her, though I supposed she had a right to be. It didn’t make me think about her any less, though. In fact, it made me think about her even more.

Sitting on the edge of my sofa, I reached for my laptop unthinkingly and cracked it open. Within five minutes, I’d booked tickets to Kansas. I had to repair the damage. I had to see her again.

***

I pulled my rental car into Evie’s driveway. At ten o’clock in the evening, her place was pitch black. I skipped up to her porch and peeked into her window through a break in her curtains, but I stopped short of knocking on her door. If she was asleep, I didn’t want to wake her.

I climbed back into my car, whipping out my phone to text her, when a car pulled into her driveway behind me. A blonde girl sat behind the wheel, scrunching her nose and trying to read my plates while Evie reluctantly crawled out of the passenger seat and sauntered up to my car door.

“Jude?” she said as I rolled the window down.

“Hi,” I said, studying her reaction and climbing out. Evie threw her friend a look as if to say it was okay and waved her off.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I hadn’t heard from you since you left L.A.,” I said. “You weren’t returning my calls or texts.”

“So, you just fly halfway across the country to stop by for a little visit?” she asked, an incredulous laugh in her tone.

“I was worried,” I said, neglecting to mention that she was all I could think about anymore and the fact that she ignored me drove me to do things I normally wouldn’t have done. “I know you’ve been a little depressed.”

“I’m not depressed, Jude,” she said, her eyes narrowing. “I’m in mourning. Big difference.”

I smiled, pursing my lips and looking away. “After I kissed you that night, I thought I scared you away.”

“Ah,” she said. “So, that’s what this is about?”

“Sort of.”

“I can assure you the kiss meant nothing,” she said, her words stinging. “I’ve been taking some time for myself. Trying to figure things out. Trying to move forward. It has nothing to do with you, Jude. To be honest, I’m kind of shocked that you took it personally.”

“When someone ignores my calls and texts then yeah, it becomes personal.” My jaw clenched. “What was I supposed to think, Evie?”

She scratched her head, probably trying to make something of all of this. “Jude, we spent a few days together. We had fun together. But at the end of the day, you’re my husband’s brother. We barely know each other. This just seems a little extreme, you know?”

Fuck. She was right. I’d never let myself get this caught up in a girl before that it clouded my judgment. I was never the chaser. I was never the desperate one.

“Look, I promised my brother I’d take care of you,” I said in an attempt to redeem myself. “Forgive me for doing my part.”

I reached for the door handle of my car, but her soft hand upon mine stopped me. “Wait. Come inside. You can stay with me while you’re here.”

I followed her inside. She switched on the foyer light and kicked off her heels, immediately losing several inches of height as she stood in the doorway staring at me.

“As you can see, everything’s fine here,” she said. “I’m even back to eating again.”

I forced a smile. Being back in my brother’s house hit me harder than I expected. My innocent little brother and his kind, sweet wife lived here. I didn’t deserve to be standing there in her presence like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, under the guise of being there to protect her and care for her.

“You okay?” she asked, her face softening and her arms dropping to her sides.

I ran my fingers through my hair, mussing it up a bit and sighing audibly. “What the fuck am I doing here?”

“Excuse me?” she asked.

“This was a bad idea.”

“What are you talking about?” Evie’s face was pinched. “Why are you being so weird? You’re freaking me out right now, Jude.”

She reached for my hand, tugging me gently into the living room where we sat side by side on the leather couch.

“Talk to me,” she said, her blue eyes expressively kind. She took my hand and held it between both of hers, resting it on her knee.

“I really enjoyed spending time with you, Evie,” I said, going for it. What did I have to lose? “I shouldn’t have kissed you. And when I didn’t hear from you for a couple weeks, I panicked. I shouldn’t have just shown up like this. I’m sorry I freaked you out.”

Evie blushed, looking away as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “We’ll always be family.”

Rejected.

“Why did you kiss me, anyway?” she asked.

“It… just felt right,” I said with a defeated shrug. “I don’t know, Evie. I don’t have a good answer for you. I know this seems fucked up. I get it. You’re just different from any other girl I’ve ever met. I really enjoyed our weekend together. I guess I just got caught up.”

“I had no idea you felt this way,” she said, turning her gaze to meet mine. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m weak,” I said, squeezing her hand. “Don’t let a moment of weakness between us scare you away from me. I want to be around for a long time. I want to take care of you like Julian asked.”

“I don’t need you to take care of me,” she said, jerking her hand away. “I thought I made that clear to you before.”

“Damn it, Evie,” I said. “You’re this broken, beautiful little bird, and I just want to take care of you. Let someone take care of you.”

“So, I’m an asshole if I don’t want someone’s help?” she asked, eyebrow raised. “Because that’s how you’re making me feel right now, Jude.”

“You’re putting words in my mouth,” I stood up, angry, and walked toward the door. The second my hand touched the knob, she stood up.

“Wait,” she said. She slipped her delicate hands into the pockets of her jeans and shrugged before glancing up at me through her dark lashes. “I feel it, too.”

My hand fell from the doorknob as I carefully walked back toward her.

“This thing between us,” she said. “Whatever it is, I feel it.”

I stifled the smile that wanted to envelop my face, masking the ridiculous amount of happiness that flooded me with her words. I needed that validation. I needed to know I wasn’t crazy, that I wasn’t imagining things.

I stepped back into her space, my hand slipping up to her sweet face as I leaned down and claimed her lips once again. The faint taste of cinnamon on her tongue as our mouths danced sent electric currents down my spine. Kissing Evie made me feel alive in the most confusing sort of way.

She gently pulled back, her hand flying up to her mouth as her eyes met mine. “I just don’t know if it’s what Julian would’ve wanted.”

I hung my head in frustration, stepping back. “You have no idea what Julian would’ve wanted. We’re never going to know, Evie. You can speculate all you want, if it makes you feel less guilty, or whatever.”

She stared at the floor, biting her lip.

“You’re scared.” I shot at her. She glared.

“How do I know I’m not just drawn to you because you’re the spitting image of Julian?” she asked. “You’re the older, healthier, stronger version of the love of my life, and I’m constantly comparing you to him, and that’s not fair to either of you.”

“Then stop.”

“It’s not that simple. Sometimes when I look at you, I see him.” She crossed her arms in a protective sort of way, as if it pained her to be vulnerable for two seconds.

“Do I remind you of him when you kiss me?” I asked.

She paused, hanging her head and then shaking it. “No. Not at all.”

“I can’t control what you see when you look at me,” I said. “That’s all you. But I can tell you that what you feel when you’re with me, that’s real. I feel it, too.”

She sunk down onto the couch, the vision of an emotionally exhausted woman who’d thought about this probably just as much, if not more, than I had.

“Want to know what I see when I look at you?” I offered. “I see a young woman who’s scared. She’s afraid to step out of her comfort zone. She’s afraid to question herself. She loves with all her heart, yet at the same time, she keeps her cards close, not letting anyone in. She’s afraid to get hurt, but once she opens up, she has the most honest and beautiful soul.”

Her tired eyes began to mist, indicating everything I said was right.

“She’s protective and loyal,” I continued. “And a little curious. She likes comfort and routine, but I know she’d be a little more adventurous about things if she had the right partner beside her.”

“Huh,” she said, staring down at her hands and running them across her thighs. “You don’t miss a thing do you?”

“I see someone who has so much potential, if she just stepped outside of her comfort zone and stopped living her life to make everyone else happy,” I added. “You could live this amazing life, Evie, but you’re terrified. I want to help you. I want to support you. I want to be there for you every step of the way. That one person you can count on no matter what.”

“I have Carys,” she said, her voice low. “And my family.”

I shook my head, frustrated. “You’re not listening to me, Evie. Stop being so goddamn stubborn and listen to me.”

She hid her face with her hair, wiping the tears that had formed in the corners of her baby blue eyes.

“Let me be there for you,” I said. “Allow yourself to be loved again. I’m not going to hurt you.”

She sniffed, brushing the hair from her face and turning back to face me. “You barely know me. But you know me better than anyone. How is that possible?”

I leaned in to claim her lips, whispering, “Stop thinking so much, Evie. Just feel.”

“Let’s …just …take things slow,” she pleaded.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Evie,” I whispered back. I meant every word.

I pressed my mouth against hers once more, my hand slipping down her side and resting on her hip as she leaned back into the sofa. Our bodies intertwined, I kissed her softly and gently, despite the hunger that ached inside me, like a beast needing to be fed. She ran her fingers through my hair, her nails barely scratching my scalp as she kissed me back. My hand entertained the idea of slipping up through the bottom of her shirt, but I stopped myself. I had to take things slow.