Just a Geek (30 page)

One time, I was at the grocery store, walking through the doors in a wistful attempt to recapture the magic, and I was attacked by some Girl Scouts. Apparently, they were trying to sell those damn cookies (which are Soylent Green, by the way—you heard it here, first), and I was scaring off the potential customers. Those Girl Scouts are very territorial, and they'll stab you in the neck if you don't watch it.

WHERE'S THE PARTIES, DUDE?

By imrdkl on 07:48 AM October 15th, 2001

Seriously, how much time do you spend reading techie sites like Slashdot and keeping up with the issues? I see lots of nice links and banners on your webpage that seem to advocate. How would you "rate your geekness"? Is setting up your own server really fun for you, or just another way to score babes? :-)

Thanks, I enjoy a lot of your work
.

Well, here's my geek code:

-  - -BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK -  - -
Version: 3.12
GPA d - ( - -) s:- a- C++++ UL P>++ L+>++++ E -  W+++ N+ o- K-
 w++++> -  - O -  M+ V -  PS++(+++) PE Y++ PGP++>+++ t++@($)
 5 X+++ R++ tv -  b+++ DI+D++G++ e*>++++ h -  -  r+++ y+++
 -  -  - END GEEK CODE BLOCK -  -  -

I've been reading /. (Slashdot) for a few years. It was my home page for a while, even. I check in a few times a day, so I can keep up on what's going on and complain that none of my submissions are ever taken. The issues that I am most passionate about are Privacy and YRO (Your Rights Online). Every chance I get, I bug these guys to publish a quarterly YRO journal. Unfortunately, every chance has been once.

Setting up my own server is still beyond my abilities, but it is something I will be able to do, someday. Often, when I'm in a "down cycle," or whatever the buzzword is for not working for months at a time, I think about getting a "fall back" job, so I could have a regular day job if I ever needed it. Recently, I've been thinking very seriously about pursuing a CCNA (Cisco Certified Network Associate).

BORN A GEEK, OR DID ST PUSH YOU IN THAT DIRECTION?

By anvilmark on 12:27 PM October 15th, 2001

Did you have a technical inclination prior to
T:TNG
? Did you become more/less interested in tech from your
ST
experience? If so, in what ways?

Ever since I was a kid, I've been interested in science and engineering. Unfortunately, my complete inability to do simple mathematics (when I got my SATs back, it said "3% of people who take this will score higher than you" in the verbal section—it said 95%"would score higher than me in math) really interferes with my ability to take my interests further than just a hobby. I built one of those crystal radio kits when I was 8 though . . . that was pretty cool. And I *did* assimilate lots of other computers to make mine.

I've been a voracious reader my whole life, reading mostly non-fiction books, up until I was about 13 or 14, when I read Ringworld . . . something about reading that book . . . it was like a switch was turned on inside my head, and I suddenly couldn't get enough of science fiction. I read all of Niven's books, then nearly everything Asimov had ever penned . . .
Ender's Game
. . .all of what are considered the classics, I guess. During that time, I developed this insatiable desire to understand the science behind the science fiction, so I read many of Asimov's nonfiction books, starting with his
Guide to Earth and Space
. I think that Asimov is truly one of the greatest authors of all time. For actors, his
Guide to Shakespeare
is required reading. Anyway, after reading some of his books, I read
The Mind's Sky
,
A Brief History of Time
, and, finally,
Hyperspace
. It was really cool to be reading about all that theory and acting it out at the same time. I wonder if any of the other actors got it when there'd be a graphic in engineering labeled "Kaluza-Klein Field."

I spent hundreds of hours, over the years hanging out with Rick Sternbach (in addition to all his great contributions to
Trek
, Rick also illustrated the cover of
Tales of Known Space
, and autographed my copy, which was cool) and Mike Okuda, in the art department, asking them all about what made the ship go (because I look for things . . . things to make me go . . .), and making sure that I was touching the buttons in the correct sequence to do whatever I was supposed to be doing. Once, in 10th or 11th grade, I had to write a research paper, and I got permission from my teacher to do it on the fictional technology of
Star Trek
, focusing on propulsion. This was before Mike and Denise had written their books, so I actually had to interview the Techies on our show. (Oh, I guess they like to be called "Tech-ers." Sorry.) Anyway, I had to conduct interviews with them and buy some of the fan-authored books . . . but the final project was really cool, and I was forever able to explain to tour groups exactly what each thing in the engine room did.

Wow. I am realizing what a super geek I am. But that makes me cool, right? Right?

I've just remembered something that I haven't thought about in years. Sorry for the tangent. I know this is sort of off-topic, but you can't mod me down! *cackle* Ahh, the sweet, sweet elixir of corrupting power!

Once, I was at a Los Angeles-area convention—not as a guest, but as a convention attendee, complete with badge and geeky T-shirt. I'm thinking it was LosCon, but I'm not sure. It's not important. The important thing is, I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time, and I walked into a room where there were lots of authors signing books. One of the authors there was Larry Niven. I just about gave birth. I had just finished reading
Ringworld
and
Ringworld Engineers
, and I was in the middle of
Tales of Known Space
. I had even bought a copy of
Ringworld
while I was at this con, I think as a gift or something, without knowing that Niven was there. So I ran up to him, and the exchange went something like this:

Me: Oh my god! You're Larry Niven!,

Him: Oh my god! You're Wil Wheaton!

Me: I love your books so much! [Insert huge geek out here]

Him: I love you on Star Trek! [Insert minor geek out here]

Me: Really?!

Him: Really?!

Me: Yes!

Him: Yes!

Together: Can I have your autograph?!

No kidding. That really happened, and it was just amazing. I will never forget that. Stuff like that happens sometimes, and I always love it when I meet someone who I admire, and they're just as excited to meet me. When I was working on
Flubber
, one of the other actors—I think it was Clancy Brown—came up to me on the first day and said, "Wil. I have to come out of the closet." I thought it was weird that he was coming out to me, but I said, "Okay . . . .?" And he says, "I am a huge
Star Trek
fan. I didn't want that to get in the way of our work."

I looked at him, and said, "Clancy, Robin Williams is a huge
Star Trek
fan, too. . . and THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"

And I cut off his head.

WESLEY CRUSHER JOKES

By DarkDust on 07:58 AM October 15th, 2001

As you mentioned on your FAQ page, the Wesley Crusher character from
TNG
was target of some not very complementary jokes. But are there any Wesley Crusher jokes that you liked ?

I can't recall any that I thought were very funny, actually. They are all pretty much just variations on the same theme, and I just don't find being sodomized by a Klingon to be the height of humor. Unless it's animated by Terry Gilliam.

There is a funny story that involves the whole "put Wesley in the airlock" phenomenon . . . I wrote about it at my site a few weeks ago, and I'll reprint it here:

It was my fanatical love of
The Prisoner
^[
22
^]
that allowed me to understand why anyone would want to wear a spacesuit and go to a convention. Because I used to have a lame little Number 6 pin, and I would wear it to game cons, back in the day.

This reminds me of this one time I went to a huge game con, and some guy was selling "Put Wesley In The Airlock" buttons. I went up to his table, and he saw me coming and tried to hide them, but I got there too fast and took one. While I was looking at it, I could see the huge drops of sweat falling off his Hutt-like visage, and I asked him, "How much?" He told me $2.50, or something like that, so I bought it and wore it on my Batman T-shirt the rest of the day. That was cool.

ENTERPRISE

By abde on 08:00 AM October 15th, 2001

I liked your brief appearance in the Sprite commercial :) My question is, have you thought about sticking with the
Star Trek
franchise? With
Enterprise,
the franchise is taking a new direction, in which the characters are more human and not ultra-competent Utopians. Have you considered trying for a part, recurring or otherwise?

I've thought about it, sure. I even made calls to Berman and Co. back in the day, with some cool ideas, which were never developed.

I really like
Enterprise
. I watch it every week in the hopes of seeing more naked T'Pol. As much as I loved
TNG
, it did wear on me a bit that everyone was so damn perfect. I love that the new show has lots of conflict, and the crew seems to be in real danger each week. The cast is great, and, so far, they haven't completely ruined the continuity of the
Trek
universe. Also, the captain has a beagle. A beagle! And he talks to it! You have to love that.

However, I left
Trek
when I was 18 so I wouldn't be doing it for the rest of my career. Trying out for a regular role on the new show would be a step back, career-wise, and very unlikely, considering the treatment I've gotten at the hands of Berman and Company since I left. However, I would be open to guesting, and I'm really sad that I don't get to be in the movie. Especially if there's a wedding in the script. I think it'd give some nice closure to the character.

ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT BEING TYPECAST?

By wrinkledshirt on 08:03 AM October 15th, 2001

Jason Alexander once said in an interview that every single episode he did as George on
Seinfeld
made it harder and harder for him to be marketable in showbiz as any other sort of character. Given that most people know you as Wesley Crusher, do you ever worry about it? If that's a problem, how does an actor break out of it?

When I was 18, I was beginning to have precisely those feelings that Jason talks about. I did an interview with AICN, where I got to talk about that. Success is a double-edged sword, you know? On one side, it's simply amazing to be associated with such a successful show and play a character that so many people get to know. On the other side, that association can utterly kill any chance you have of having a career beyond that show.

I have no idea how an actor breaks out of that, because Hollywood works very hard to establish an actor as a "type" and then leaves that actor in that "type" because they know that the audience will tune in to see it. Bob Saget is a perfect example. Holy shit. He is one of the dirtiest, funniest, stand-up comedians I've ever seen . . . but Hollywood just won't cast him in an "edgy" role, because he's forever the guy from
Full House
.

Hollywood is all about insecurity. Studio heads know that their jobs are only temporary, and they know that when they make one mistake, they're gone. So they don't like to take chances. They don't like to take an actor who is good in action and put him in a comedy, because the audience may not buy it, and the actor may not be able to handle the role.

I have a reputation in Hollywood as a very good dramatic actor, and I think I've earned that, and I'm proud of it. What's currently driving me crazy is this reluctance by the industry to let me show them that I'm funny. It's maddening, because I've been doing very funny sketch comedy at the ACME Comedy Theatre, and improv with the Liquid Radio Players and Los Angeles Theatresports. I have a plan, though. I adapted one of my sketches into a screenplay, and if this thing I talk about in my next answer works out, I can just make it myself and take over the WORLD!

NEWTEKAND THE VIDEO TOASTER

By suso on 08:11 AM October 15th, 2001

On your homepage, you mention that you once worked for NewTek during their development or initial release of the Video Toaster. I've always been curious to know how you got the job there and what you exactly did for them? Did you ever own an Amiga prior to working at NewTek?

I was invited to NewTek's XXXmas party when I was 19, and I was simply blown away by what they were doing out there.