Just a Little Surprise (5 page)

“Derek,” I whispered, and my eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know if you’ve hung up.
But if you’re listening… if you’re there… you have to know something.” I managed a small chuckle, but only to fight off the oncoming tears. “You know how they say that you never really know just what you’ve got until it’s gone? Well,” I said, trying not to let go of my self-control as the tears cut loose and streamed down my cheeks and across my lips. “Losing you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through, and I’ve been through hell. And I never imagined… not until you were gone… that losing someone could hurt so much. So, if this… if this conversation is goodbye, then okay. I understand. I do. But before I hang up, and if you’re still listening, you just need to know one thing.” I swallowed hard, dropped my head, and took a deep breath. “I miss you.”

Wednesday, March 06

“Happy birthday
!”

Matt killed the lights as Charlie finished lighting the last of the eighteen candles.

“Make a wish, Pumpkin,” Charlie cheered as I leaned over the small cake he’d brought home from the bakery. I stared individually at each of the eighteen flames and held my breath. “Come on, kiddo,” Charlie said. “What are you waiting for?”

I thought about Luke. I considered all the time we’d spent together in the last six months. I thought about the first day I’d met him—how much I wanted to smack
the stupid grin right off his face. I thought about all the arguments, all the fights, all the weeks he’d spent running from me. I took a moment to consider just how truly manipulative he’d become.

But t
hen I remembered the good times—the way he first told me he loved me, the way my lips tingled at his touch, our first kiss, our second kiss… our third, fourth, fifth and sixth. Luke loved me; he protected me. He fought for my safety. I thought about the chemistry we shared, the way our bodies seemed as if they were made perfectly for one another. In so many ways, he was everything I’d ever wanted.

At eighteen
, I could simply wish for a lifetime of love and happiness with him.

But then my mind drifted
somewhere else….

I thought back to the day I
’d first met Derek. I remembered the way he’d reprimanded me, accusing me of stealing his newspaper. I remembered the way he’d watched me from his window, the way he consoled me every time Luke broke my heart—which was much more often than not. I thought about his quirks, his goofiness, and all of the things that made him so loveable. I remembered his smile, but more than that… I remembered his pain. I always felt the way he ached at the pain his family had caused mine. He hated hurting me, but that never kept him from telling me the truth. He trusted me.

So, a
t eighteen, I could simply wish for my best friend to come home.

“Julie?” Matt asked.
“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I said,
watching as the wax melted quickly beneath each flame. “I don’t… I don’t know what to wish for.”

“
Ah, it can’t be too hard, Pumpkin,” Charlie said. “Wish for what you want.”

I nodded, but only because there was no possible way to explain that I had no idea
what
I wanted. I’d never been so confused.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and extinguished the candles with one long blow. The smoke wafted from the wicks as Charlie and Matt clapped.

“So, what didja wish for?” Matt asked. “New car? A million dollars?”

“
Clarity,” I said, taking a long, deep breath.

“Clarity?
What kind of cheapo wish is that?”

“It’s
perfect,” Charlie said, pressing a kiss to the side of my head.

“Listen,” I said, looking between them. “This was
all great. I love the cake, the presents were amazing… you guys outdid yourselves. But I’ve had a long day, and I think I’m just going to turn in for the night.”

“Whatever you want
,” Charlie said. “We’ll save the cake for tomorrow.”

With a hug and a kiss to both of them, I trekked up the back staircase and
into my room. When I closed my door, kicked off my shoes, and threw myself back on the bed, I took a minute to praise myself for making the most adult decision in my life to date. I could’ve wished for anything back there, but I didn’t. I wished for the one thing that would help me move forward.

I turned and opened my eyes, staring over at the open window. The wind blew in,
and it was just cold enough to justify shutting the glass. But it was stuck, and I hadn’t been able to close it for days. Fortunately, until tonight, the spring evenings hadn’t been unbearably cold. But there was something eerily uncomfortable about the chilliness in the air right then, and I was far too tired to try to fight the thing shut.

Another gust came rushing in, this time forcing me to pull a blanket up under my chin.
The cold forced me to take deeper breaths; it made me shiver to the bone. But more than anything, that open window served as a reminder that comfort was just within reach; I only had to be cold as long as I chose to be. All I had to do was put my foot down, find the strength to get up, and fight. If I truly wanted to make a difference, then I just had to stand up and do something about it.

I closed my eyes, determined to fall asleep despite the wind, but my cellphone chimed
on my bedside table. My eyes snapped open, and I stared at the glowing screen.

One New Message

Derek

I stared at the screen for a moment, contemplating whether or not I wanted to know what
the message said. After I’d spilled my guts earlier and told Derek I missed him, he’d never responded. He’d never answered, never gave me the satisfaction of knowing if he’d heard what I’d said. I guess at some point he just hung up. I couldn’t know whether or not he missed me too, or if he had anything else left to say to me.

But
now he was sending me a message, and I didn’t know what to make of it. I guess there was at least one thing he needed to say.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the sharp, cold air, and
I somehow summoned the courage to open the message.

(Derek)

I miss you too.

I closed my eyes and let his four little words sink in.

And as if I suddenly had all the strength in the world, I pushed back the covers, rolled out of bed, and walked across my bedroom—effortlessly closing that damn window once and for all.

Chapter Four

Thursday, March 07

“The man’s father killed your parents, Julie,” Matt said, slamming a vase on the counter. “How can you even give him two second’s thought
?”

I should’ve known that telling Matt about Derek’s phone call
and text message would be a mistake. Though he’d taken to Hannah very quickly when the Milton duo first arrived in Oakland, he’d never been Derek’s biggest fan. And then after the shooting that put Luke in the hospital, Matt was certain—just as certain as Luke, in fact—that Derek was worthless, dangerous, and a threat to my physical wellbeing and emotional stability.

“I wished for clarity, Matt,” I said
, picking up a few stray petals that had fallen off his arrangement. “Doesn’t it seem a bit strange that his message came through
immediately
after I wished for everything to start making sense?”

“I don’t get what you’re saying here,” he said, pushing a folder of order forms aside.
He wiped his hands down the front of his apron and shrugged. “What kind of clarity are you looking for?”

“Things have been so screw
y lately,” I said. “Between Luke’s lies, your dishonesty with Charlie and Kara, and the things that Bruno discovered….” I trailed off because I didn’t want to discuss the DNA results with my cousin. Explaining that story meant giving in to more suspicions and more accusations. Matt would be curious and want an explanation, and I just wasn’t in the mood to handle a game of twenty questions.

“Things Bruno discovered?”

“It’s nothing—”

“You mean the DNA
test,” Matt said. “Right?”

“How did you know
?”

“Word gets around.”

“Luke,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Since when are you two so buddy-buddy?”

“
Since always,” he said. “Luke’s been coming around since long before you came to town, Julie. He’s my friend—”

“Luke’
s nobody’s friend but his own—”

“I know how he’s tied to Rebecca
,” he said, almost as if he had a leg up on me in the race to the truth. “And why would he tell me if we weren’t friends?”

“He told
you
? I thought he said he’d
never
tell you—”

“Not while I was reporting back to you,” he said. “But I
’m on Team Luke, not Team Julie. You’re the one who’s being sneaky and secretive, not him.”

“Wait a minute,” I said, holding my hand up. “He told
you
—”

“All about Rebecca
, Molly, his connection to both of them.” He looked back at the curtain separating the back office from the storefront. Turing back to me, he lowered his voice. “He doesn’t trust you with the truth, Julie, and you need to respect his decision to keep you out of the loop—”

“S
ince when are you on his side?” I yelled. “Matt, you said yourself that you thought he was up to something.
You’re
the one who’s been pulling for me to find out—”

“Julie,” Matt said, slamming his fist on the counter. “
I’m not the enemy here. And neither is Luke, okay? He’s trying to protect the people he loves. And if you love him like you say you do, you’d get on board and just accept that he can’t tell you everything.”

“It can’t be too big of a secret if he’s told you
.”

“
He’s my friend—”

“
He was
my
boyfriend—”

“You didn’t trust him. You still don’t,
” he said. “And how can he be expected to trust
you
if you can’t show him the same respect?”

Point taken.
I didn’t trust Luke, and I’d made that perfectly clear over the past few weeks. So was that why he’d been so hell-bent on keeping his secret? I didn’t trust him, so he didn’t trust me? That logic didn’t seem justifiable.

I had my reasons for not trusting him. He, however, had no reason to believe he couldn’t trust me. After everything he’d said… af
ter everything he’d kept from me—the secrets about Derek, the way he pretended as if he had nothing to do with him disappearing, the way he’d secretly helped Matt find another job, the way he’d been sneaking around with Rebecca—I had every reason to think he was untrustworthy.

So why was
everyone ganging up on
me
? Why did it seem like the only person on my side was Detective Bruno?

“I’m
leaving—”

“Tell Dad I’ll be home at ten
—”

“No,” I said, turning to take the door knob in hand. “I’m not
lying for you anymore, Matt. If we’re not allies—if you’re jumping ship and joining Team Luke—you’re not going to reap the benefits of having my friendship. You need to tell Charlie you’re working two jobs, that you plan to propose to your seventeen-year-old girlfriend, and that you’ve been lying to him for weeks. Tell him, or I will.”

“Julie
—”

“I needed you, Matt
,” I said, turning back to him. “I needed you on my side, but you turned your back on me.”

“Don’t do this
—”

“
Screw you.”

I stepped outside and slammed the door behind me. I only made it halfway down the block before I heard the bell over the shop door ring and someone step out.

“I have nothing else to say to you, Matt,” I said, not turning back to look at him.

“Julie.” But the voice wasn’t Matt’s. I turned to see Rebecca standing outside the shop, her shoulders slumped and her head hanging low.

“Matt’s just confused, okay?” she said as if she had some kind of right to talk to me. “He doesn’t know whose side to take. Quite frankly, no one should be taking sides, but I’m done trying to convince them to give it up.”

“I have nothing to say to you
,” I said, clenching my teeth. It took every ounce of restraint I had to keep from pouncing her right then and there. But I had officially decided that Luke wasn’t worth the fight. Ripping Rebecca’s hair out might sound great in theory, but who would benefit from that?

“Listen, I know this must be hard
—”

“Don’t
act like you understand how I feel—”

“I know you’re suffering,” she said, taking a step forward. “But all he wants is to protect the people he loves
—”