Just Make Him Beautiful (10 page)

I slowly
continued to
walk up the steps
,
while my brother and his friends followed. I walked in Ms. Tracey’s room
,
and she was already in the bed waiting for me. I closed the door
,
but this was one of those old houses where above the door was a glass window
.
 
M
y brother and his friends climbed on a chair and looked in to make sure I performed my dare. 

I took all my clothes off
,
jumped in Ms. Tracey’s bed
,
and pulled the covers over me.

Rocky yelled through the window,
“Yo
,
shawty, you got to get on top of her for at least
sixty
seconds
.
T
hat’s a whole minute
.
”

I looked at my brother
,
hoping he would get me out of this
terrifying ordeal
,
but he was nodding his head and clapping along with
Rocky
.

“Yeah
,
b
aby
boy, don’t be scared. It won’t hurt.”

So
,
believing it wouldn’t hurt, like my brother said, I climbed on top of Ms. Tracey. Then
she
suddenly
wrapped her arms around my small waist, squeezed me tightly
,
threw her legs wide open in the air
,
and began to grind her body against mine.

Now, I
was
n
’
t stupid
.
I kn
e
w this was my brother’s way of getting me my first piece of pussy. And even though I didn’t know what I was doing, I began to grind back. It was hard for me to get
an
erection
while
thinking about what I was doing with Ms. Tracey
,
but once I started thinking freaky and imagining I was having sex with my brother and his friends, that’s when my little dick started to get hard.
I
was
a true
gay
young
freak
.
W
hat can I say?

I didn’t know what hole my dick was to go in, so I raised up off her so she could guide
it
in herself. Once it was in, it felt kinda funny. It’s hard to explain
,
but I humped up and down, in and out
,
until I actually found myself getting excited enough to
c
um
.
I d
id
n’t know if Ms. Tracey had
c
um
or not
.
S
he did shake a little
,
but that don’t mean anything.

A
fter several minutes of humping and listening to the sounds that my brother and his friends
made
, cheering me on, I came inside
of
Ms. Tracey
.
Ewww!
A
nd for the record, I didn’t enjoy it at all.
Chile
, I thought I was gonna throw up. My stomach began to do flips that scared the shit out of me. Nausea
had s
e
t
in something fierce.
I thought I could hold my illness back
,
but I couldn’t.

As soon as I
rose
up off the bed, I bent over and hurled all over Ms. Tracey’s bed.
Chile
, I was so embarrassed, I didn’t know what to do. I looked over at my brother, expecting his support
,
but he began to roll
with
laughter, as did his friends.

Ms. Tracey, on the other hand, didn’t think it was funny at all. She jumped up out of the bed as I hurled and
began fussing
at how I
’d
just ruined her bed sheet and spread.

I put my clothes on and
bolted out of there so fast, you would have thought I was running for my life.

As soon as I got to my room, I took all my clothes off and jumped in the shower. I closed my eyes as I stood under the shower and thought about what
had
just happened. I actually got my first piece of pussy
,
but
it didn’t make me feel
more like a man
.
As a matter of fact, I felt dirty and grimy.

I remember Ray telling me that it was so good that I didn’t know what I was missing
,
but now that I’
d
had it, I really d
id
n’t think I was missing anything
at all
.
I
still
prefer
red
the
masculinity and the
body of a man
.

I finished my shower and went to my room and
cried myself to sleep.

*

I
was
awakened
by Ray as he stood alongside my bunk
.
“
So you got your first piece of pussy
,
b
aby
boy,
” he said.
“W
hat do you think?”
He started
taking off his clothes.

“
What do
you
think
,
Ray
?
I threw up
?
W
hat do you think I think?” 

“Dayum
,
b
aby
boy
!
T
hat was messed up
,
too
.
”
A
gain
he roared with laughter
as he lay
down on his bunk
.

“Dayum what?”

“I just thought you would enjoy it
.
T
hat’s all.”

“It was
sickening
,
Ray
.
T
hat’s what it was. Remember, you were the one that told me to be who and what I am. And if I needed to be with someone, you wanted that someone to be you, remember?”
I wait
ed
for his response.

“Dayum
!
B
aby
boy, you really like dick more
,
huh?”

“So
,
y’all planned that, huh?”
I asked, avoiding his question.

“You know, every time I go over there
,
she’s always asking me about you. So
,
I knew she liked you
. So I thought
,
W
hy not
? It’s about time you got some pussy
.
”

He stopped laughing
once he realized I wasn’t laughing along with him
.

“Look
,
b
aby
boy, I didn’t mean
any
harm
,
s
o if I did sumf’n wrong, my bad,”
h
e said
,
sounding so
mewhat
sincere.

“I
still
enjoy being with you more.”

“That’s cool, that’s cool
,
but
,
b
aby
boy?”

“Huh?” I look
ed
down from my bunk to his.

“Make sure you keep that
shit
between us
,
a’ight?” 
H
e yawned and rolled over to go to sleep.

“Ok
ay,
”
I whispered
,
feeling a little disappointed that he was going to sleep.

I couldn’t wait to go to school tomorrow so I could tell Robin I actually got some
girl
pussy
and the shit made me puke
.

*

“Ms. Thang
,
I ha
d
some girl pussy yesterday,” I hollered, trying to convinc
e
Robin as we sat
in the school cafeteria eating our lunch.

“See, you
oughta
stop lying
.
A
in’t no girl out here would wanna give you none of their stuff. Don’t even try it
.
” Robin roll
ed
her neck at me.

“I did
,
and FYI
,
it was a
twenty-five-
year
-
old grown woman, so there
.”
I roll
ed
my neck back at her and snapp
ed
my fingers in her face. 

“Are you serious, fa real?”

“Fa real.”

“Do you swear on your little gay life?”
s
he asked
,
holding up her pinky finger.

I crossed my pinky finger with hers.
“I swear
on all my Patti Labelle
CD
s
.”

Robin knew when we pinky
-
swore
,
that meant all jokes aside and that we were telling the truth about whatever we were talking about.

She hollered,
“OMG, you’re serious?”

“I told you
,
c
hile
.
”

“Oooo
!
W
ho was this
twenty-five-year-old
woman
?
A
nd how did this happen?”

Once I began explaining how I had gone looking for my brother and that he was over the lady’s house that said she wanted to eat me
,
Robin started drooling at the mouth. After telling her the whole story, she looked at me and started laughing hysterically.

“What’s so dayum funny
,
Ms. Thang?” I asked with attitude.

“I’m sorry
,
sista
,
but you were basically raped
and then threw up
.”

“
Chile
,
I wasn’t rape
d.
I did throw up
,
but
can I help it
be
cause she wanted
all this
?”
  I performed my
“
cat
-
walk
”
as I headed
to my next class. 

“Whateva,” she spat as the bell
rang
.

Fortunately, my next class was gym
,
and
fine
-
ass
Mr.
Jamison
was filling in for our regular gym teacher
,
who was out sick with the flu
.
F
inally
,
I was gonna
get
a chance
to see Mr.
Jamison
in his gym shorts.

I walk
ed
in
the locker room and began changing into my gym clothes when Mr.
Jamison
walked in the locker room and announced, “Listen up
,
fellas
.
W
e’re gonna be swimming today
,
so just put your gym shorts on.”

I
wasn’t
a swimmer
.
A
s a matter of
fact
,
I
couldn’t
even remember the last time I went swimming. However, looking at Mr.
Jamison
with just his swim trunks on and a wind breaker jacket he had open down to his navel
, I was willing to be his first drowning victim so
he could perform mouth to mouth on me.
Ooo
,
c
hile, my nerves.