Just Me (24 page)

Maybe it was wrong to find joy in her discomfort, but I did. Bastian spoke up from behind me.
“
Is it any wonder why I'm so crazy in love with her?
”

He pressed a kiss to the side of my head before we took our seats, and for the first time in almost three months, I really enjoyed English class.

After school we were heading to Bastian's bike when he looked over at me and asked,
“
Do you mind if we detour to the garage?
”

“
Not at all. You want to talk with Caden?
”

“
Yeah.”
Bastian stopped walking and turned to me. The look in his eyes surprised me, it was a combination of tenderness and pain.
“
Do you know about Caden's family?
”

“
He mentioned that they had died, but he didn't say more and I didn't want to pry.
”

Bastian inhaled deeply, letting it out slowly, before he began.
“
Caden lost his family in a car wreck when he was younger. He was at a friend's house and his family was coming to get him so they could all go out for ice cream. A truck was going too fast to stop in time for a red light and hit them. His dad and mom were killed instantly, but his younger brother held on for a few days before he died. Caden believes it's his fault—if he hadn't been at his friend's or if he had said no to ice cream, his family wouldn't have been at that intersection at the exact time as the truck. And if that wasn't bad enough, he was placed in the system and moved in and out of foster homes.
”

My heart constricted in pain just thinking of Caden taking responsibility for something he had no control over.

“
I met him four years later, hanging at a field I used to sneak off to to practice soccer. I thought my life was bad, but he had bruises on him. Apparently his foster father liked taking out his frustrations on Caden. I sneaked him home, and with a house as big as the one I grew up in, and the fact that my parents never paid me any attention, no one ever knew. Well, our cook did, she started making larger portions of meals that Caden and I would eat in my room. We figured his foster father kept taking the money from the state and didn’t turn him in.
”

“
For a year Caden lived at my house, and when he turned sixteen, I asked Dominic to help emancipate him. We both got jobs with Cal, another former foster child.
”

“
Most people who meet Caden see a hard guy, and in many respects he is that now, but there's still that damaged fifteen-year-old kid in there. You saw that and even without realizing it you gave him the one thing he's still starved for, friendship and family. You did it for me too, Lark, you gave me what I've always been starved for: love.
”

I wiped at my face with the back of my hand.
“
And you gave it right back to me.
”

He kissed my forehead, his lips lingering a minute.
“
I didn't mean to make you cry, but I thought you should know about Caden. He doesn't talk about it, but I know he'd want you to know. He took to you from the very beginning—kindred spirits and all.
”

“
He lives alone in that little apartment.”
I said.

“
I know. Dominic offered him a room, but he's too proud to take it.
”

“
Dr. Wright adores him.
”

Bastian's eyebrow rose in question,
“
Meaning?
”

“
I'll let her work on him. She's just as unhappy as me that he lives in that little hovel and as she's always saying, they've got more rooms than they could ever possibly hope to fill.”

Bastian laughed out loud. Then he reached for my hand and planted a kiss in my palm. His eyes were twinkling with humor.
“
Certainly not for a lack of trying.
”

We stopped off at the garage and Bastian and Caden had a heart-to-heart which ended in a hug, and not a guy hug, but a real hug. When asked to come to dinner, Caden jumped at the opportunity.

We detoured to the grocery store. Shopping with Bastian and Caden, when they were both hungry, turned out to be dangerous. Watching the two of them going up and down the aisles of the store, dropping things into the cart, reminded me of the old eighties video game Pac-Man. Something I noticed about both of them, something I think was completely unconsciously done, was they were adding things to the cart for the family: a tub of Dr. Wright’s favorite ice cream, Poppy's favorite chocolate, several canisters of mixed nuts for Mr. Wright, Diet Coke for me.

I wish I had known them at fifteen, wished I had been the third musketeer, but I was so happy that I knew them now. Bastian's touch to my back pulled me from my thoughts.

“
Did we get everything for dinner?
”

I looked at the overflowing cart and grinned, because I had meant to come here for the fixings for chicken par
m
igiana, and instead we bought out the place.

“
And then some.
”

His grin was completely unrepentant. “We're growing boys.
”

“
Eating like that, it's a wonder you aren't growing out as well as up.
”

He lowered his mouth to mine and whispered, “Jealous?
”

“
Hell
yes, I'm jealous.”
I looked over at a smiling Caden.
“
Good thing you've got your car.
”

He winked at me as he took the cart and rolled toward the check-out.
“
Let's go, I'm hungry.
”

“
Really? I never would have guessed that.”
My comment was met with laughter.

Two hours later the chicken cutlets were ready to go into the oven to finish baking in the homemade sauce I had whipped up. Bastian was cutting the vegetables for the salad and Caden was setting the table.

And when Dominic walked in not long after the Wrights did, I got a little gushy at the reunion between Bastian and his brother.

We all just sat around the kitchen talking. I had my iPod on in the background, since I liked to cook to music. I was more than a little surprised when Michael Buble's “Save The Last Dance For Me” came on and Mr. Wright stood, grabbed my hand, and drew me into the middle of the kitchen where he proceeded to lead me through an upbeat fox trot. I had no idea what I was doing, but Mr. Wright was such a good dancer, I fell into step like I was a natural. When Bastian cut in, held me close, and proved to be as good a dancer as Mr. Wright, I got giddy. When the song ended, he dipped me and brushed his lips over my temple.

“
Thank yo
u.
”
he whispered.

And just like clockwork, my knees went weak.

***

Later we all sat around the dining room table and at a lull in the conversation, Dominic spoke up.
“
I've been waiting to see if Mom and Dad followed through on their various threats.
”

Bastian tensed at my side. “Have they?
”

“
No, but I think they haven't because they're unable to.
”

“
Meaning?”
Bastian asked.

“
Apparently, the loan against Cal's garage that my parents were threatening to call in was recently paid in full and a new loan, with far better terms, was worked out with Cal and a third party. The terms of the loan are so good that Cal is planning on expanding his business—a dream of his.
”

“
Who paid off the loan?”
Poppy asked.

“
Well, that's the weird part. It was handled all very privately, the actual third party is an unknown. However, the loan was paid off in the name of Larkspur O'Bannion.
”

All eyes immediately turned to me. “Don’t look at me, I don't have that kind of money. Was it my uncle?
”

“
My first thought too, but it wasn't him. There's more. There's a tract of land outside of town that my parents have been itching to purchase so they can build cheap homes and charge a fortune for them. The town council's been fighting it, but my parents and a few of their backers have the money and the connections and the proposal recently passed through all the appropriate channels. My parents were in the final negotiations for the purchase of the land, when some unknown conglomerate, and I'm talking the amount of wealth this group is throwing around is mind boggling, bought it right out from under them.
”

Poppy's gaze flickered to me.
“
It's like we've got our own guardian angel.
”

Dominic continued.
“
I don't know who this third party is, but the money and the connections they have make my parents look like dirt farmers. What really impresses me is the big brass ones they've got, because they aren't even trying to hide the fact that they're singling out my parents. Who would be doing something like this for you, Lark?
”

“
For me? I don't know anybody.”
I held Dominic's stare and saw what he was thinking.
“
You think it could be my biological father?
”

“
Yes.
”

The thought that it could be ignited a rage in me, which rapidly grew into an inferno.

“
Well, if he knows of me, why hasn't he ever come to see me? Why step in now when I could have used him when I was four and my mom lost me in the mall because she detoured to a bar and got roaring drunk and left with some man. Or maybe when I was five and almost died of hypothermia because my mom locked me out of the apartment when I was outside playing in the snow and proceeded to pass out. Or how about when I was six and I got second degree burns on my hands because I was trying to boil some water to make myself something to eat since my mother had forgotten to come home in three days.
”

I stood then and slammed my palms down on the table. My anger wasn't directed at Dominic, but at the idea that I did have a father who never came forward except to play the man behind the curtain. As if that was going to make all the years of neglect okay.

“
If it is my father, he's a little too late. I would have loved to have someone tuck me in at night and make me feel safe and secure. To have someone, anyone, to pick me back up when I fell and to hold my hand when I lost my way. To give me at least one person in my life who gave shit if I lived or died.”

Fueled by fury, my feet carried me out of the room and right out of the house, the door slamming closed behind me. I didn't stop walking, and didn't realize how far I'd walked, until I came to our spot near the river. I dropped down under our tree, pulled my knees up and rested my head on them and cried. I cried for the little girl I had been and for the childhood I never had.

Sometime later I heard the sound of Bastian's bike as I stood and watched as he parked and shut off the engine. When he reached me, he folded me into his arms, rocking me gently. I could feel the wetness of tears on his skin.

I touched his face and asked, “What's this for?
”

“
That little girl you described, knowing it was you, Jesus Christ, Lark, that broke my fucking heart. She may have given you life, but your mom didn't deserve you.”

I reeled to hear my own words spoken back to me with such conviction. His fingers threaded through my hair to hold my gaze on him.
“I will be there to kiss your wounds when you hurt; I will be there to dry your tears when you cry; I will tuck you in and vow to keep you safe and secure; I will help you up, carrying you if needed, when you fall and I will hold your hand so tightly in mine that you will never ever lose your way. But mostly, Lark, I will love you so completely that you will never again be lost, lonely or terrified.
”
He placed my hand over his heart.
“
I swear that to you
.”

Love swelled in me as I reached for him and kissed him, his perfect words echoing in my head. And deep inside of me, in a place that had been broken by my childhood, the wound started to heal.

It took no time at all for our lives to return to normal with only the smallest difference, Bastian didn't have any homework or exams and so he could literally sit and watch me do my homework while feasting on his much-loved potato chips. It wasn't right.