Just One More Breath (22 page)

Shawn

When
I had wrung every ounce of orgasm out of Nicole’s body, I eased back and stood. I stared down at the beautiful woman that I loved. After years of wanting her, I finally had her and it was so much more than I’d ever expected. I knew I could love her, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I could love her this fiercely. Suddenly, just having her like this wasn’t enough for me. I wanted more. I wanted everything. Nicole had a funny way of doing that to me—making me want things I never thought I would want.

I
dropped my pants, and then I climbed over her and gently pushed into her. I stared at her face as I thrust deeper and deeper; the look of pleasure that came over her face did all kinds of crazy things to my insides. I flattened my body into hers, wanting to feel her skin on mine. I kept my movements isolated to my lower half; our chests remained pressed together.

I
closed my eyes, focusing on the feel of her warm pussy. The way it squeezed me was amazing. Suddenly my attention was pulled to something else, what felt even better than the pleasure I got from moving inside of her was the way our chests felt as our hearts beat next to each other.

I
slowed my movements, I was pretty close to an orgasm, but I still wanted to enjoy her. Nicole opened her eyes slightly, pulling her eyes to mine. Then she brought hand up to her mouth and finally pulled out her underwear. She brought her lips to mine, pulling me into a slow, sultry kiss.

I
sank all the way into her, and then her legs fell to the side allowing me to sink a few inches deeper. Chest to chest, kissing her deeply, and enjoying the feel of our hearts beating in unison. We let their bodies take over, our lips kissed as if they never wanted to stop while our hearts made love to each other until we both fell apart. It was
FUCKING PHENONEMAL.

Nicole

I scrambled to multi-task as I headed into to The A.R.T Center the next morning. I drove, sipped coffee, and waited anxiously while the hold music for my gynecologist office played through my car speakers. I hoped that they would be able to squeeze me in for an emergency appointment today. A few weeks ago Shawn and I stopped using condoms because he was given a clean bill of health, and I’m on birth control as well. After our third love making session the night before, he told me that something inside me poked him a few times. I began to freak out, I was supposed to take my I.U.D out three months before but I kept forgetting to make the appointment.

My brain was going a mile a minute. Was he really feeling a piece of the device? Or was it all in his head? I wasn’t in any pain, so I leaned toward it being a figment of his imagination.

“Hello, Mrs. Mil
ler?” a voice said, pulling me back to reality.

“
I go by my maiden name of Evans now, but, yes, I’m here,” I replied. Tapping the steering wheel, waiting to hear the verdict.

“Ok
ay, I was able to squeeze you in for a three o’clock appointment with Dr. Leonard today. Does that work for you?” the secretary asked.

I
exhaled loudly. “Yes. Thank you so much,” I said gratefully.

“You
’re welcome ma’am. See you then,” the girl replied sweetly.

I
disconnected the call, and quickly hit the option on to dial Shawn. “Hey Mr. Big Stuff,” I joked. “They can see me at three.”

“
Nic, I know you think I’m crazy, but I’m serious. Unless your vagina grew teeth, your I.U.D was poking me.”

“If I thought you were crazy I wouldn’t have made the appointment. And it’s time for
me to have it replaced anyway, so it’s no hassle.”

“Ok
ay, love. I’m about to walk into the office. Call me and let me know how the appointment goes.”

“Ok
ay, I love you, baby,” I said with a smile.

“I love you too
, sweetie.”

I
hit end and smiled. Shawn’s reaction kept a big grin plastered on my face and I thanked God for him every day. There was someone else I thanked God for, I reached my hand up and glided it over my charm. With every day that passed, smiling at the thought of my sweet son became easier and easier.

I
floated into the center; I smiled happily at the girls and volunteers and walked straight to my office. My jaw dropped when I opened my door, there were bouquets of calla lilies all over my office.

“Shawn
,” I whispered as I walked inside. Grinning even bigger than I had been when I walked in, I made my way over the bouquet in the middle of my office and pulled out the card.

“To the love of my life, I hope these flowers brighten your day the way that you brighten my life. Enjoy your day
, my love.”

I
grabbed my desk phone and dialed Shawn.

“So, I’m guessing that you got my gift
,” he said, and from the sound of his voice I could tell that he was smiling.

“Yes, I did and I love them
, of course.”

“I’m glad
,” Shawn replied.

I
swiveled my chair so that I was backing the door and whispered, “Is it too late for us to play hooky?” 

Shawn laughed
. “You can’t play hooky from work if you already went in.”

I
started to laugh as well. “Damnit, you’re right.”

“Don’t worry
, babe, you can do all the naughty things you want me to me later on,” Shawn said wickedly.

“You promise?”
I asked.

“I promise. But I’ve got to go, I have a big day ahead of me and I need to get prepared. I’ll see you later
, my love.”

“See you later
, Shawn.”

At two thirty
, I shut down my computer and headed out to my appointment. Shawn had suggested I take a cab since parking by my doctor’s office was so tight. I used a Livery Cab service that Zena recommended; I tried calling Shawn but got no answer. I typed up a quick message to him just as my cab arrived. When I sat in the back seat, the driver startled me when he said, “Hello, you’re Nicole, correct?”

Completely taken off guard
I shook my head. “Yes.”

He reached into the
glove compartment and produced a small black box. “Then this is for you.”

I
gave him a cautious look as I took the box. Written on the front, in handwriting I instantly recognized as Shawn’s, lay a note that said:

“Just a little something to hold anytime you think of me
.”

I
nervously opened the box, and sighed sweetly when I saw the beautiful charm bracelet with a letter “S” charm dangling off it. I was smiling so much that my jaw had begun to hurt. I slipped the bracelet onto my wrist and tried to dial Shawn again and once again he didn’t answer his desk phone, and his cell phone went straight to voicemail.

I
frowned, but figured that he must be busy with a client. I played with her new piece of jewelry while the taxi maneuvered through the streets of New York and finally arrived at my doctor’s office.

The thing that
I loved most about my doctor was the insanely short wait times. After I checked in, I was given the routine cup for a urine specimen and told that the doctor would meet me in room number two. While I gave my sample I mentally went through all of the questions I wanted to ask my doctor. I really loved my I.U.D and wanted to know how soon I could get another one, and also wanted to know the pros and cons of a one that lasted five years versus ten years.

I
changed into the gown and sat on the exam table waiting patiently for my doctor. Dr. Leonard took a few minutes longer than he normally did to come into the room, and finally his assistant popped her head in.

“Ms. Evans, Dr. Leonard would like to see you in room five instead.”

I gathered my things and headed to my new room. There my doctor was waiting and reading through my chart on his iPad.

“Hello, Ms.
Evans. I see here that you’re here to make sure that your intrauterine device is still in place.”

“Yes, my boyfriend said that he felt something poking him while we…um
…you know….” I trailed off, blushing.

“While you were having sex
,” Dr. Leonard finished for me. My cheeks turned a brighter shade of red and I shook my head.

“Ok
ay, well let’s check on that first and then we will go over your test results.”

I
assumed the position that all women of a certain age knew all too well. I placed my feet in the stirrups and slid my butt to the edge of the table. My doctor pulled out a long ruler looking device and explained that he would use that to check the device.

“Well, Ms.
Evans, it would appear that your boyfriend was right. Your I.U.D has been dislodged,” Dr. Leonard informed.

Oh, great. This is going to give Shawn an ego boost that he didn’t need
.

He leaned over and picked up something that looked almost like scissor
s and went about taking the I.U.D out completely.

“Oh
, that’s fine, it was time to take it out anyway. My next question for you was going to be able a replacement I.U.D.”

The doctor didn’t reply at that moment. He placed the old
I.U.D into a cup and told me that I could sit up.

“Well, Ms.
Evans, I’m not sure that will be necessary at this point,” he said with a small smile.

“What?”
I looked puzzled. “Why not?” I asked.

“Because, we do a pregnancy test on every patient no matter what their reason for coming in is. And yours came back positive.”

I felt the earth slip out from under me. “What?” I asked again, my mouth felt desert dry.

“You’re pregnan
t, Ms. Evans, we can do an ultrasound right now to make sure everything looks normal.”

Pregnant? Ultrasound? Normal?

I
suddenly felt dizzy and sick to my stomach. I declined every test that the doctor offered, got dressed, and high tailed out of his office. I held onto the railing in the elevator, and it took every ounce of strength that I had not to fall out right then and there. My mind was a complete mess; unable to grasp one single thought. I tried to dial Shawn
again
, but
again
he didn’t answer. Shawn was always the voice of reason, and at that very moment I needed him. I decided to take a cab to his office to talk this out with him. Another baby was NOT on my to-do-list. I had been there, done that. And after losing Jax, it wasn’t something I wanted to do again.

Shawn

It was a serious task to walk down the streets of New York with both hands full while looking for someone. I had just received another call from Nicole, so it was safe for me to assume that she was done with her appointment. Pedestrians stared at me as I maneuvered on the sidewalk with eight red balloons in my hand. That wasn’t the hard part; it was the object that hung from the end of the strings that felt like it weighed a ton.

I saw Nicole exit a building and she leaned against the wall as If she were trying to catch her breath. S
he turned to walk toward the corner and was so preoccupied that she walked right into me, yet still hadn’t processed that I was standing there. She took a step back, trying to see what she ran into but I blocked my face with the balloons. Nicole looked closer and a confused expression touched her face when she realized that they spelled out “All of me.”

I move
d them away from my face and she looked startled. I winked at her and then I extended my arm and handed her the balloons with a big smile on my face. Nicole automatically took them, and held them to her side and looked as if she was preparing to tell me something, but, she was distracted by the weight of the balloons. She looked at the end of the ribbons and saw another black object hanging off it.

She looked at
me and tried to speak, but I gently put a finger to her lips and pointed at the box with my other hand. Silently, Nicole untied the box from the ribbon and stared at it. Her chest was rising rapidly and I hoped that excitement was the cause. Her hands trembled as she stared at the box.

My hands were trembling
, too. I was taking the biggest step of my life, asking the only woman I had ever loved to marry me.

“
From the moment I met you I knew that there would never be another woman in the world for me. You are it for me. At first, my biggest dream was to have you as my girlfriend, but I’m no longer satisfied with that, Nicole.” I had to pause and swallow the ball of emotion that was gathering in my throat. “I never thought I would get to this place—a place where I would be committing to someone and it didn’t scare the hell out of me—but I am there, and so grateful that I made it to this place with you.” Tears brimmed in my eyes as I spoke.

Nicole’s fingers hovered over the top of the box
and I sank down to one knee. I heard the gasps of strangers passing around us, and a few even stopped to stare. I took Nicole’s hand.

“I’m giving you all of me
, Nicole, and I’m asking you to give me all of you.” I swiped at a tear that slipped down my face,

“Will you marry me?” I asked,
then I picked my head up to gaze at the love of my life and that’s when I saw it, the complete and utter horror in her eyes.

Nicole pulled her hand away from
me as if I’d burned her, and turned away releasing the handful of balloons I had just given her. She bolted down the street and I remained frozen in my kneeled position. I watched as my heart went running down the street away from me. Nicole and my future went floating up into the sky with the balloons.