Kade Loves Alex (3 page)

Alex

I
give myself a quick survey in the mirror before heading out to the beach party.
Tonight I chose a short, tight black dress with long sleeves, and red sandals.
I sigh loudly as I tie my hair into a high bun and my thoughts travel to last
night, when Kade and I were watching movies.  Kade told me that he loved
me and my heart had literally stopped for a few seconds.  At that moment
the possibility that he could love me as more than friends was more appealing
that I would have liked to admit.  Last night I almost jumped into his
arms, until I realized that we always tell each other that we love each other …
as friends.  I blush thinking about it. 

He
had walked me to my car.  It was getting late and he had plans with his
family the following morning. 

“Are
you sure you’re ok – I know that you and Nathan were getting pretty close…” he drifted
off, leaning against my little yellow Volkswagen.

“I’m
okay, Kade really… Nathan is an amazing person, but something was always
missing from the relationship.” I sighed.  “Maybe something is wrong with
me.”

He
huffed at that. “Nothing is wrong with you…” he pulled me in front of him in
between his legs and wrapped his big arms around my waist.   I
imagined that we would look like a couple to passersby.  That thought made
me smile and I sniffed at his green shirt.  He always smelled nice – like
cinnamon.

“You’re
always sniffing me,” he said into my hair.

“Because
you always smell so nice,” I replied grinning up at him.  I sank into his
warmth and my mind drifted back to Nathan.

“And
on top of that,” I said into his shirt deciding to be honest. “You know that he
was just too jealous of our relationship.”

He
looked down at me and when he didn’t say anything I continued.

“He
didn’t like or understand how we could be so close.  This whole month he
has been badgering me…” I trailed off.

“What
did he say?” Kade questioned.

“He
wanted to know if we had ever messed around…
If we ever
kissed.”
I gulped staring up at his lips.

He
chuckled.  “We are very touchy – feely best friends.”

I
laughed, “I can’t help it.  I’m affectionate.” I placed my arms around his
waist and squeezed him hard.

I
saw a car pull into his mom’s driveway and I see Jacob,
Kade’s
younger brother walking towards us.  He is almost a clone of Kade – just
slightly smaller.  I tried to pull away from Kade to say hi to Jacob but
Kade held me steadily in place around my waist.

“What’s
up, Lex?” Jacob said sweetly, completely ignoring Kade.  I smiled at him,
my head still lying against
Kade’s
chest.  He
was always trying to flirt with me, trying to get Kade upset.

“Nothing
much,” I replied smiling.

“You
wanna
go for a ride with me?” he questioned moving
his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

“Leave,”
I heard Kade say.

“But
- ”
Jacob gasped.

“Leave
now,” Kade repeated sounding bored.  I laughed finding their perpetual
banter amusing.

“Fine!”
he sounded playfully offended and turned back around walking slowly towards his
house, “When you’re tired of wasting time with Mr. Brooding and Mysterious over
there, you know where to find me, Lex.  Asshole!” he muttered under his
breath but I knew that he said it loud enough for us to hear it.  I
laughed loudly, and soon Kade was chuckling softly as well.

Kade
lifted my chin with his forefinger and stared into my eyes.  “It might
always be hard for the people that we date.  But no girl will ever tell me
that I can’t be with you.”

He
kissed me on my forehead, looked like he wanted to say something else, but
instead said.

“Okay,
sleepy head.
 
Head on home.
Let me know that you get home safe.”  He opened my car door and watched as
I buckled myself in.

“I
live five minutes away, Kade. Jesus! Stop treating me like I’m ten.”  I
complained.

“Text
me when you get home.” He asserted.

“Okay,”
I am secretly flattered by his ever present concern for my well-being. “Bye”.

When
I got back home I stayed up all night, thinking of him. Having him as a best
friend has always made my life feel complete.  I always felt safe and
protected having him near.  He knew that I was strong most of the time,
but in moments of weakness he always had my back.  Before I met Nathaniel
I had dated a guy – Justin – who was a bit of an asshole.  I found out
that he had cheated on me and I was devastated. 

After
crying for a few hours on
Kade’s
shoulders, Kade
played with my hair until I was drifting off to sleep.  I heard him murmur
that he had to go and that he would call me in the morning. 

I
found out the next day from Kayla that Kade had beaten the crap out of Justin
that very night.  After that most guys had stayed away from me.  I
realized that it was because they were scared shitless of Kade.  I didn’t
mind being single.  I didn’t feel that anything was missing from my
life.  I never felt alone.

If
I was having a shitty day all I needed was to see Kade loping down the halls
towards me, and it would all feel better.  I knew that it was bad comparing
every guy I ever dated to him.  Maybe that was why they only lasted a few
months.  Because they could never compare to him, they were never tall
enough. 
Never funny enough … never sexy enough.
 

Was
there a possibility that I could love Kade - be with him as more than just a
friend?  The more that I thought about it, the more I felt myself
smiling. 

I
convinced myself around 3:00 am that I would talk to him tonight at the beach
party.  I would get him in a corner, and I would tell him exactly how I have
been feeling. I cannot spend another late night obsessing over this. 

I
look into the mirror, giving myself a mental pep talk when I hear my phone
buzzing beside me alerting me of a new text message.

Kade:
Whatchyadoing
?

Me:
Hey, getting ready for the beach party… you?

Kade:
Me too… leaving in fifteen minutes.  I’ll see you soon, love.

Me:
Ok.  Kayla is picking me up in twenty.  See you soon.

I
hear Kayla’s horn blowing and I walk towards her large, purple truck.  My
mood immediately brightens as I step inside.  Laura is sitting up front
and a fun song is playing loudly from the stereo.   We sing along to
random songs all the way to the party. 

Soon
we are at the beach.  Kayla, Laura and I walk through the party.  The
sun is setting and there is a crimson glow over everyone.  Some people are
dancing and some already paired off and cuddling in shadows.

I
see Nathan and I try to ignore him.  He catches my eyes however and walks
slowly – cautiously – towards me.

“Hey,
Lex.”
He says conversationally.

“Hi,”
I reply coldly, looking over his shoulders hoping that he will take the hint
and leave me alone.

“You
look great…” I could almost see the regret in his eyes, and I turn away from
him.

“Anyway,”
He continues. “I hope you have a great night.” He leans over me and kisses me
on my forehead.

“You
too,” I say to his retreating back. But I don’t think that he hears me.

I
stare after him remembering the first day that we met.  He had transferred
to Stone Brook six months ago.  As soon as I stepped into school that
sunny Monday morning I heard the whispers. 
New Guy.
So Sexy
.

I
stopped at Kayla’s locker and before I was even within hearing distance she was
chattering.

“Oh
My God, have you seen him? Alex, you are going to die!! He is gorgeous! 
They say that he transferred from …. Oh my god there he is!!”

I
looked over my shoulder and I saw a very handsome guy walking down the
halls.  He was tall with dark brown hair.  I gasped, and somewhere
off in the distance I swear that I could hear angels singing.  He wore a
clean cut black polo shirt and dark jeans.  I also noticed that his right
arm was in a cast and I immediately began fantasizing about the bad guy that he
had been in a fight with while defending some poor damsel in distress.  He
walked past us and Kayla and I unashamedly stared after him as did half the
girls in the student body.

“Holy
Hell,” I heard myself mutter.  “I want that one.” 

“Don’t
we all?” sighed Kayla. 

That
morning as I sat in my Spanish Class, Nathan walked in.  Ms. Johnson
introduced him to the class.  His name was Nathaniel White. He was 17. He
shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of the thirty or so students.  I
smiled to myself as the girls in the class automatically leaned forward and the
guys backwards.  There was an empty seat behind me and Ms. Johnson
assigned him to that seat.

He
sauntered pass my chair.  My heart skipped a tiny beat when our eyes
clashed.  I tried to smile at him, but I’m sure it looked more like a
grimace. He sat quietly behind me.  The class continued and five minutes
before the class ended I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Oh
God.

I
turned around slowly, afraid to even breathe.

“Hi,
I’m Nathan.” He whispered.

“Hi,”
I smiled at him.

“Um,”
he cleared his throat. “Do you have an extra pen?” I looked down on his desk
and saw two pens sticking out of his notebook and smiled. He was making up an
excuse to talk to me.

“Yes,”
I replied immediately even though I only had one pink pen.  I handed it to
him without even thinking as the buzzer sounded. 
Lunch
Time.

We
stood up.  And I noticed that he towered over me, even though I was
wearing three inch wedges.

“I’m
Alex,” I offered him my hand and he took it.  We continued staring at each
other in a comfortable silence.  He continued holding my hand.  And I
could not think of one good reason to pull it away.

“How
did you break your arm?” I asked him in an attempt to break the silence.

“I
fell.” He smirked. “I wish that I had a more dramatic reason.”

I
examined the cast. “You should.  I’ll help you make one up.  No one
signed it yet…”

He
chuckled.  “Do you want to sign it?” he handed me a black marker from his
bag.

I
bite my lips, and boldly right in huge letters across the cast:
Alexandria.

 “Perfect,”
he murmured smiling down at me.  My tummy did a slight flip flop.

“Do
you want to have lunch with me?” I questioned.  “We have a table outside.”
I said pointing through the glass windows at the sprawling outdoor
campus.  Most people chose to eat outside instead of in the stifling
cafeteria.   I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Nathan.  I knew
that I already had it bad. 

“Sure.”
He replied.  “You want me to carry those for you?” he took the heavy books
from my hands. 

We
walked through the corridors towards the outside campus and I could see every
girl staring at us, looking pissed.  Some of their eyes shifted to his
cast and their eyes widened when they saw my name branded unto his cast. 
Even Evelyn gasped out loud as we passed. 

I
snap back to the present when I see Ryan and Jonathon approaching us with large
cups in their hands. 

Ryan
walks straight up to Laura and whispers in her ears.  She giggles
quietly.  They would make a cute couple.

“Where’s
Kade?” I ask Jon as he reaches down to give me a hug.  He points behind
me, and I see him.  Evelyn has her arms wrapped around his neck. 
They are kissing. I can see her lips moving across his and I almost hurl.

I
see someone passing around shots and I grab two.  The amber liquid of the
first two shots burns my throat and I reach for another.

“Damn
Alex!” Ryan exclaims. “You’re a party animal tonight.”  I feel better
after my fourth shot.  And numb.

I
know that I am overreacting.  It’s not the first time that I have seen
Kade kissing another girl. In fact I have seen it many times but it has never
hurt quite like this before.

Kade

After
prying Evelyn’s fingers from around my neck, I finally walk around looking for
Alex.

I
see her dancing to some song, laughing with her hands in the air.  She
loves dancing and is really good at it.  I smile and walk towards
her.  She is surrounded by her friends and some random guys. She is
wearing a tight, very short black dress. That’s when I notice that she is
stumbling and her golden eyes are unfocused and glazed over.

“Alex?”
I question as I walk into their dancing circle.

“Kade,”
she slurs, walking haphazardly towards me. “Hey!” she smiles throwing her
little hands around my neck.

“Lex?”
I question. “Are you drunk? How many shots did you take?”

I
notice that guys are looking at her body appreciatively but they quickly walk
away when I give them my hard stare.

“Just
five.” she says, holding up eight fingers.

I
look worriedly at Kayla.  She shrugs.  “I tried to tell her to slow
down.” She whispers into my ear.

“C’mon!”
Alex shouts “Dance …
wif
me.” She places my hands on
her hips and moves her body slowly over mine.

Her
hands move slowly up and down my arms.  I can see Nathaniel in the distance
staring at us.  I glare at him.

“Umm
... no.
I’m taking you home.” I take her hand and lead her
through the throng of swaying bodies.

I
pick her up when she stumbles over some rocks, place her in my jeep’s passenger
seat and buckle her in. 

Driving
away from the beach I hear her mumbling.

“Kade,
I really need to … talk to you.”  She slurs.

“Ok...
what’s the matter?” I question.

“I…stayed
up so late last night thinking of you… and
and
I
really need to tell you something,” she whispers.  When I look over at
her, her eyes are closed.

I
try to focus on the road. “Lex…what are you talking about?”

“I
fink I might love you,” she says touching my legs, “a little” she adds with a
giggle.

“I
love you too.” I laugh. 

“No!
No… like… I love you… I am… in love
wif
... you.” She
jabs her finger into my cheek to emphasize her point.

I
almost drive off the road.

“What
are you talking about Alex?  You are drunk…”
Why is this happening
now?  Why can’t she be sober?  How long have I waited for her to say
this? For her to realize that we were meant for each other.

“Kade…”
she unbuckles her seat belt.

“What
are you doing? Put back on your seatbelt!” I shout.

Before
I know it she is on top of me, straddling me.  Thankfully she is tiny and
I can still see over her head.  My vision blurs however, when she start
nibbling on my neck. 

“Jesus,”
I moan. “Alex…” her tongue moves up to my ear. And I almost lose
it.  

I
pull into her driveway and pull her face away from my neck.  I cradle her face
in my hands.

“I
love you.” She repeats. She leans towards me staring at my lips.  It takes
everything in me to turn my face away.

“Alex,
you are very drunk.  Let me take care of you.  And I promise we will
talk about this tomorrow.” I hear the words coming out of my mouth in a
monotone, when all I want to do is kiss her. 

I
tell myself that it won’t mean a thing if she doesn’t remember.   She
is one of those people who forget everything when she gets too drunk.  I
place my hands on her hip, savoring the feel of her body on top of mine for a
few more seconds and gently try to move her back into her seat.

She
stares at me dejectedly and crawls back into her seat.  She closes her
eyes and places her head hard against the car’s glass window.

“Alex?”
I question, but she doesn’t answer, she’s already passed out.  I pick her
up and walk her into her bedroom.  I place a glass of water and some pills
by her dresser.  She will need it in the morning.  I give her a soft
kiss on her cheeks and tuck her in under her covers.

I
will come back and see her first thing tomorrow morning.  And we can
finally be honest with each other.  I can finally stop wasting time with
other girls.  She will be mine.