Kade Loves Alex (6 page)

PROM

Alex

I
remember two years ago, when my parents were splitting up.  I didn’t
understand why it was happening.  They always seemed so happy
together.  I never saw them argue – not even once.  They went out
every Friday, calling it date night.  They were always laughing and seemed
genuinely happy together.  I can admit to myself now that I did see some
signs.  My dad seemed to be busier than usual for almost a year. 
Almost every weekend he was in another state on a business trip.  Friday
night date night came to a complete halt.  One time, I could have sworn
that I heard my mom crying when she was taking a shower.  When she came
downstairs to make breakfast, her eyes were slightly swollen.   I
should have asked her if everything was okay, but I never asked anything.

One
day, I got home from school and my mom and dad were sitting stiffly around the
kitchen table.  My father was hardly ever in the kitchen and I knew
immediately that something was wrong. 

“What’s
going on?” I asked, my question directed at my father.

My
mom’s eyes immediately glistened, and I swallowed hard.

“Honey,”
my father began.  “Your mother and I love each other.  But we have
realized that we are no longer
in
love with each other.” 

I
stared at him in complete shock.  I could hear our little kitchen clock
ticking away.  When many seconds passed and I continued staring from one
to the other, he continued.

“We
have decided that it would be best to file for a separation.  This does
not mean that we are getting divorced.  We just need some time apart.”

“Some
time apart?” I looked from my mother to my father.
“Time
apart?!”
I shouted.  “You guys are married! You do not need time
apart.  You’re not allowed to take a break from a marriage! You work
things out together.” My voice broke.    

I
remember I ran up to my room crying.  My mom tried coming in to talk to
me, as did my dad, but I felt like they were betraying me, like they had been
lying to me all of these years.  I stayed in my room all evening,
sleeping.  When I opened my eyes, my room was pitch black, cold wind
coming in through my windows, but I felt surprisingly warm.  When I
shifted, I felt strong arms tightening around me and when my eyes adjusted to
the darkness, I saw that Kade was with me, sleeping soundly. 

I
cuddled deeper into his warmth.  Kade was always there.  He was the
one person I could depend on.  He would never leave me or betray me. 
As long as he was with me, anything was bearable. 

“Alex,
it is time to get out of bed.  Aren’t you excited?!” my mom squeals
bringing me back to reality.  “It is prom day!”  I stare at her
sadly.

“What
is the matter Alexandria?” she questions, sitting beside me on my bed.

“Mom…”
I begin, “Kade…” I sniffle. “I don’t know what to do, Mom… suddenly the most
uncomplicated relationship in my life, is so complicated.  He told me that
he loves me … that he is in love with me.”

“Do
you love him?” she asks softly.

“Yes,”
I say immediately.

“Are
you in love with him?”

I
hesitate. “I am afraid…” I confess.  “Suppose we get together, and it
doesn’t work out?  All of these years of friendship will be ruined. 
We will never have our friendship back.”

“Honey,”
she says, rubbing my hair softly. “It is ok to be afraid.  But you have to
trust him, and yourself. He loves you, and he has always taken care of
you.  Do you really think that he would do anything to hurt you? I always
hoped that you and Kade would end up together…”

I
feel tears falling from my eyes and she wipes my cheeks.

“C’mon.
Today is a happy day.  You’re going to be the most beautiful girl there
tonight.” She goes to my closet and pulls out my dress. 

I
picked a crimson, satin, tight dress adorned with large crystals in the
back.  I picked red, because Kade always tells me how much he loves the
color on me.  I always imagined that we would go to prom together. 

My
mom forces me to get up from my bed and practically shoves me in the shower.

I
go through the motions of getting ready for what was supposed to be one of the
happiest days of my life, but all I could do was think of Kade.  His
kisses yesterday had aroused completely foreign emotions in me.  I had never
felt that I could lose myself in a guy.  I
shudder
thinking of the way his big body towered over mine as he moved in between my
very willing open legs.  It was hot. 
Carnal.
 

I
feign happiness for my mother’s sake as she carts me to the salon.  I do
my hair, nails and make up.  My only request was for my lips to match my
dress. 

While
at the salon, I hear my phone vibrating and I jump to get it, hoping that it is
Kade.

Nathan:
Hi Beautiful.  I can’t wait to see you tonight.  I planned something
special after… I love you.

I
gulp.  Feeling guilty, I text back quickly.

Me:
Can’t wait to see you too.
I lie.

The
day went by quickly and soon I am looking at myself in my full length mirror
trying to smile.  The dress fits me snugly and curves perfectly into my
body.  I turn slightly to examine the back, and the crystals sparkle as
they crisscross into a V down my back.  I look pretty, but even I can see
the sadness in my eyes.  I needed to make a decision.  Kade told me
that he loved me.  I thought that I would be ready – that it was what I
wanted but I didn’t realize that I would be so afraid of his love.  I had
never taken relationships that seriously. I was young and having fun.  But
with Kade, I knew that it would be different.

He
was intense, as was I.  I had to make a decision, and I had to make it
fast. 

I
hear Nathan’s truck pulling up and soon my mother is calling me from
downstairs.

I
take a deep breath and walk down to Nathan.  He looks very handsome and
sports a crimson
tie
.  My mother appropriately
embarrasses me by taking a million pictures and
ooing
and
aaahing
every few seconds.   After a
very long fifteen minutes I kiss her goodbye and she waves at me from the
porch.

She
had been through so much, but still she smiles. I wave at her and she
blow
a kiss at me.

When
we finally get to the prom it is apparent that the decorating committee really
worked hard to make the prom a beautiful one this year.  I can see crystal
beads hanging from the ceiling and multi colored lights flashing to the beat of
the music.  Out of habit, my eyes automatically sweep the room looking for
Kade, but I don’t see him anywhere.  I wonder silently if he is going to
come tonight.  I would drive over to his house after prom, if he didn’t.

The
dance floor is already filling up and I see Ryan, Laura, Kayla and Jon dancing
at the center of the room.  Kayla is wearing a beautiful dark purple silky
dress, and Laura looks lovely in classic black.  I pull Nathan with me to
the dance floor.  I’d rather dance with him than be forced to smile and
talk to Nathan all night.  He always notices when something is off with
me.

Kade

Evelyn
is wearing a tight, short, silver dress. It clings to her like a second skin
and looks nice against her porcelain skin.   In the auditorium the
lights are changing color every few seconds, and her silver dress reflects the
lights changing her dress from purple to blue to red.  I wasn’t going to
go to prom, but my mom forced me to, telling me that prom night only happens once
in a young man’s life.  Evelyn was only too happy to oblige even though I
asked her only two days before prom.  “Wear a black tux and I will buy you
a silver tie”.  This was her only command.

She
is extremely clingy tonight.  She pulls my arms over her shoulders as we
walk up to a group of mutual friends.  I glance around and see Ryan,
Laura, Kayla, Nathaniel and Alex dancing in a circle.   Alex is
smiling, her eyes closed.  She looks really happy.  Evelyn pulls me
towards them and she greets Ryan and Jon with a hug.  I am taken aback
when I see Alex up close.  She is beautiful. I always loved her in
red.  Her hair is styled so that a few tendrils are framing her face – her
lips are a pouty red.  Out of habit, I feel myself moving towards her, but
I force my body to stop.  I feel her watching me, but I ignore her
eyes.  I greet the boys good-naturedly and inconspicuously pull Evelyn’s
hand and lead her towards an empty table.  It was hard enough being in the
same room with Alex, much less being forced to see Nathan’s arms moving all
over her as they danced. 

With
Evelyn I don’t have to talk much, and soon a swarm of her friends come to our
table.  Evelyn tells me that she is going to get us something to drink and
she leaves with the group.  I look at her as she is walking away and I see
a few heads turn in her wake.

“Kade?”
I look up and see Alex standing in front of me. 

“Hey,”
I say but it comes out as a whisper. “You look beautiful tonight, Alex.”

She
gives me a sad smile. “Listen … I’m sorry.  I hate that I feel that I
can’t talk to you.  I don’t know how this happened.  Can we talk
after this? I miss you.”  I hate the sad look in her eyes, and hate myself
even more to be the cause of her sadness.  She looks so much more at ease
when I am not around. 

In
that instant as she is looking down at me, worry apparent in her eyes, I make a
decision.  I couldn’t put her through this any longer.  I could not
force her to feel more for me than she did.  This is my burden to carry. I
will let her go.

“When
we got to college …” she continues.

But
I stop her quickly.  “Alex, I need to talk to you about college…” I trail
off.

“What
about college?” she questions worriedly.

“I’m
thinking that Fort Place will be a better fit for me.”  My voice sounds
cold and detached. 

I
hear her gasp.
“What?!”
What are you talking about,
Kade? We have been planning going away to college together for years! Fort
Place is in a completely different state. Why are you doing this?” her eyes are
brimming over with tears.

I
tell myself not to reach out to her.  This is for the best. I force my
voice to be calm and collected. “Alex, Nathan is going to St. Junes too. 
You will have company.  You will be fine.  I don’t want to be the
third wheel.”  I say.  I am surprised at my acting abilities.  I
say the words with a straight face and act like every word coming out of my
mouth isn’t killing me.

“Third
wheel?
Are you kidding me?!?” she shouts.  I see
Nathan coming towards us.  I don’t want to cause a scene and I really
don’t think I can control myself if Nathan so much as speaks to me.

“Calm
down, Alex. We will talk later.” I walk away as Nathan reaches the table.

As
I am walking away from her, Evelyn comes up behind me wrapping her arms around
my waist. I turn to her, wishing that I could feel more for her – for anyone
other than Alex.  She leads me to the dance floor.  A sad love song
is playing, and I pull her neatly into my arms.  She looks up at me,
smiles and kisses me deeply on my lips, and I kiss her back.

When
I look back towards the table Nathan and Alex are no longer there.  My
eyes sweep the room and I see them leaving the dance hand in hand.  I
almost run after her. But the realization that I am making the right decision
stops me in my tracks.

Alex

“I’m
happy that you asked to leave early, Lex.” I hear Nathan saying as he is
driving out of the high school parking lot. “I have a surprise for you.”

I
don’t answer, tears threatening to spill unto my cheeks.  I was angry at
myself. 
Angry at Kade.
  We were supposed to
be best friends.  He promised that he would never leave me.  That
nothing could ever come between us. I couldn’t even imagine not seeing him
every day.

Nathan
leans over and takes my hand as he drives, rubbing his thumb softly over my
fingers.  I look over at him and I can see excitement in his eyes. He
continues driving and soon we turn into a driveway and I can see a tiny cabin
hidden by some large trees.  I recognize the cabin immediately. We had
been there once before.  It belonged to his cousin, James, who was away at
college.  His cousin was barely ever there.   I noted that
James’ car was absent from the driveway and I shiver as Nathan opens my car
door and a cool blast of wind washes over me. 

“C’mon,”
he says softly, taking my hands and leading me into the house. 

We
walk in and I am surprised to see red flower petals all over the floor. 

“I
am so excited about our future, Lex,” I hear Nathan murmur as he wraps his arms
around me from behind.  He starts kissing my neck softly. I shudder.

This
feels all wrong. He is kissing me too softly.  I wanted rough kisses –
Kade’s
kisses.  He turns me around to face him and I
stare up at him.  He is tall, but not tall enough.  He takes my hands
and places it on his shoulders, but his shoulders are not wide enough.  I
look up into his eyes but they are blue – not onyx.  When he bends down to
kiss me again I smell cologne, he smells nothing like cinnamon!  I step
away quickly. Nathan looks at me confused.

“What’s
wrong?” he questions concern in his eyes.

“You
don’t smell like cinnamon,” I reply. I close my eyes, and all I can see is
Kade.  What am I so afraid of?   The least I can do is give Kade
and
I
a chance. I can’t be afraid of my feelings any
longer.  I have to tell Kade how I feel.  I have to let him know that
I feel the same way that he does!  I almost run out of the house
immediately, but I stop when I see the hurt and confused look in Nathan’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry Nathan,
but I can’t do this.  I should have been honest with you a long time ago.”
I hear myself saying as I put some distance between us.

He stares at me
confused before going to sit down on a large couch.

“You
are a great guy…” I continue as he lays his head in the palm of his hands, “but
my heart just isn’t here right now.”

I
hear him sigh loudly as he lifts his head from his hands.  “You don’t need
to say anything else, Alex.  Your heart hasn’t been here for weeks
now.  I’ll get over this.” He rises from the couch walks towards me and
gives me a lingering kiss on my forehead.

“Thank
you for being honest with me now.”  He continues pulling on his jacket.

I
really didn’t deserve his understanding but I was grateful for it all the
same.  

I
reach up and give him a kiss on his cheek.  He is really a great guy and
will make another girl very happy.  He asks me if I need a ride back, but
I don’t want to ask him for any more favors so I reach for my cell phone and
dial Kayla’s number. 

I
don’t want to stand around the cabin any longer and I just can’t keep still so
I wave goodbye to Nathan and begin walking.  I know that
Kade’s
house is some ways away, but I can get a head start,
I tell myself.  My heart is beating rapidly in excitement and I almost
begin jogging.  But after five minutes of walking, my feet are
throbbing.  These heels are not meant for long distances.  I bend
down to take off my shoes, when I see Kayla pulling up beside me.

I
can see Ryan, Jon, Kayla and Laura inside a van and I rush inside squeezing in
beside them.

“We
came to rescue you,” Ryan says seriously and Laura elbows him with a chuckle.

“Is
he still at the prom?” I question
. 
They
know without asking that I am talking about Kade.

“No,”
answers Kayla.  “He left right after you walked out with Nathan.” 
Her eyebrows furrow worriedly.

“Can
you take me to Kade? I really need to talk to him.  I really, really need
to see him,” I say my heart beating rapidly.

I
feel four pairs of eyes staring at me.

“Well
it’s about damn time,” Ryan laughs putting the van into drive. Kayla and Laura
squeal in excitement. “I was getting sick watching this whole thing play out.”

I
swallow down my nervousness as they pull up in front of
Kades
’. 
Memories of Evelyn’s butt came into my mind but I brush them away when I don’t
see her car in his driveway.

I
step out of the van and Kayla gives me a tight hug.

“Everything
will be okay, I promise.” She says.   I look on as they drive away,
giving me thumbs up signs and blowing kisses.

I
swallow hard and begin walking towards his house.

Kade

As
soon as I saw Alex leave prom, I told Evelyn that I wasn’t feeling well and had
to head home.  I rushed out leaving her visibly upset and drove
home. 

I
meet Jacob and one of his random girls sitting on the hood of his car.

“What’s
up, man? Aren’t you supposed to be dancing the night away?”  
he
asks jumping off of his car and walking beside me as I
head towards the guest house.

“Shut
the hell up.” I reply as I turn my keys, slamming the door in his face.

“Touchy,
touchy,” he laughs and walks back to his newest conquest.

I
crawl into my bed, wanting to disappear.  I reach for my phone wanting
desperately to dial Alex’s number. Where had she gone with Nathan? What were
they doing?  Suddenly I hear a knock on my bedroom door.  I am going
to beat the crap out of Jacob.

“Go
away!” I shout staring at the door.  I hear it creak open and I angrily
look up into fiery golden eyes.

Alex
is standing by the doorway, wearing her beautiful red dress and … no shoes.

“Alex?”

She
walks slowly towards my bed.  Still lying on the bed, I feel
paralyzed.  I can’t move. My throat aches.  I can’t even speak. 
Suddenly she is right in front of me.  Before I can react, she is on top
of me.  She straddles me holding my face in her hands.

“Alex,”
I sigh, almost sobbing as her lips crushes mine.  Her kiss is angry at
first, but not as angry as mine.  I mold her body into mine wanting to
touch and kiss every part of her.  I flip her over on her back and she
gasps.

“I
need to tell you something.” She says simultaneously kissing my neck and
unbuttoning my shirt.

I
can barely breathe as I look down at her. She is at the last button and she
bites her lips staring at my chest.

“I
am in love with you,” she says sliding the white shirt from over my shoulders. 

I
lean over her, my chest bare and my hand travels under her dress and up to her
thighs.  She is trembling.

“Tell
me that you love me too. That you are in love with me.”  She says it as a
demand.  But her lips tremble slightly.

“Alex,”
my voice comes out harsh. “I am in love with you.” She murmurs something
unintelligible as she kisses me deeply.  Between kisses I hear myself
saying.  “Every time that I am not with you, I am thinking of you.” 

“How
do you know that you love me?” she asks as she unbuckles my belt.

I
reach behind her to unzip her dress.  I can’t stop touching her. 
“When I am driving I find myself smiling for no reason.” I say as I stare
humbly at her almost naked body.  I can’t get enough of the taste of her
lips – her skin. Like heaven.

“I
go to sleep thinking of you.” I continue to taste her and she is gasping. I am
guessing that I cannot stop talking as a result of months of keeping my
feelings inside.  But she doesn’t seem to mind. 

“You’re
the first thing I think about when I wake up.” I continue, removing her dress
completely and she greedily slides down my pants.

I
settle in between her legs.  I shudder for the first time in my life as I
enter her warmth.

And
still I continue to speak to her. “I pray for you. I cry for you.” The more I
speak the more she cries out.  I feel my body pushing in and out of
her.  The moment is entirely surreal.  I bite down on her neck when I
feel her body convulsing beneath me and she screams out as if in pain, my own
shout following right behind hers. 

I
look down at her, trying to catch my breath.   Her lips are swollen
and her previously perfectly styled hair is wild all around my pillow. I fall
down to the bed and gather her into my arms. She is mine. 

I
hear a loud knocking on my bedroom door and my eyes fly open. 
Please
tell me that that wasn’t a dream.
 I look down and my heart aches
looking down at my Alex.  Her lips are slightly parted, her leg thrown
over my waist. I reach down and touch my finger to her soft hair.  I
sniffed at it, a bad habit I had picked up from Alex. 
Mmm
… raspberry.

My
bedroom door flies open and in walks Jacob.

He
stares at me and Alex in my bed and I glare at him.  I didn’t want him to
wake Alex.  She looked so peaceful. 

“Get
the F out!” I mouth to my idiot brother, pointing at the door behind him.

He
grins at me and practically shouts, “Well, well, well! Isn’t this an
interesting
development!
”  Alex’s eyes
immediately fly open and she jumps up, the white sheet that was around her
slipping from her shoulders. 

I
quickly grab her and pull her back into my arms, not wanting Jacob to get even
a slight glimpse of her naked body. If I thought that I was overprotective of
her before last night I realize that I had been dead wrong.

“Get
out!” I roar.  Most guys would have run off, but Jacob simply grins down
at us.

“Calm
down, Mr. Caveman” he laughs, “Mom asked
me
to come
check on you.  It is almost lunch time.  But, don’t worry I’ll tell
her that Alex is in here with you looking as beautiful as ever I might add.”

I
don’t know where the book came from that I hurl at his head but he ducks neatly
and walks out of my room laughing loudly.

I
hear Alex giggling sweetly beside me and I look down at her. 

She
looks up at me biting her lips nervously.

“Hey,”
I smile down at her.

“Last
night was … amazing.” She breathes the words out tracing my lips with her
fingers.  “I meant what I said. I want to be with you…” she trails off.

“I
know you did.  And I meant every single word that I said.” I bend my head
down to hers kissing her lips gently.   She reaches up behind my neck
bringing me down to the bed.  The afternoon sun is peeking through the
windows and I remove the heavy sheets from around her body so that I can stare
at her just a little bit longer.     

A
few hours later, Alex is showered and ready to head back home.  She is
wearing one of my T-shirts.  I thought that her prom dress was sexy, but
there is something primal about her tiny body in my oversized shirt.

“I
hope you know that this means that you can’t go sticking your thing in
everything that can walk anymore,” Alex says as I drive her back home.

I
grin at her. 

We
had a long conversation after we had both taken showers.  She explained
that she had been afraid of falling in love with me, starting a relationship
and then our relationship ending.  She was afraid of losing the friendship
that we had built all these years. 

If
she only knew that there was no way in hell that I could ever let her go. 
I had already imagined her in a pretty white dress on one of those beautiful
beaches in Belize – the ones that are always showing on the Travel
Channels.  I didn’t want to scare her off so I said instead:

“I
will never hurt you.  Trust me.”

After
dropping her off, I walk back into my room, a silly smile on my face.  I
swear
,
it will take me weeks to stop smiling.  I
have never felt so complete in my entire life.   I had my best
friend, with extra perks. 
Lots of extra perks.
 
I grin as I think of Alex’s kisses and her body moving over mine.  I
should have kept her captive until tomorrow.

As
I slip into my bed, I notice some scribbling on one of my walls.
I
get up, moving closer to inspect it.  The shape of a heart is outlined
with a black magic marker. In the center of the heart, the words “Alex Loves
Kade” shines.

She
must have drawn it when I was taking a shower.  No wonder she looked so
mischievous before we left.