Karma (33 page)

Liza’s knees shook and she shut the door behind her, grabbed the garbage pail, and threw up.

Liza had been home for all of an hour. Her nerves were still shot, her legs still shaking, but it was over. She’d handled the payment by herself. She’d alerted Jeff that something serious was going on and he knew to listen in case she called for help. In that way she wasn’t alone. But the knowledge hadn’t lessened her nerves. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d gotten sick. She’d called Cara, who’d been sitting in her car around the corner, and assured her all was well. Then Liza had insisted on going home by herself.

Once there, she showered and washed her hair and came out feeling clean, fresh, and completely alone. Her life had officially returned to the status quo she’d known so well before Dare Barron had taken over.

She hated it and she hated him for teasing her with a glimpse at what could have been. Being part of a family, being cared for and maybe even loved.

“Suck it up,” she muttered to herself. This was her life.

Her phone rang and she picked it up on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Hi, Liza Lou.”

“Brian!” Her heart flipped over in her chest. “Where are you?”

“Will you meet me?” he asked.

“Where?” She grabbed a pen and paper and scribbled down the address he’d given her. “How far from here is it?” She didn’t recognize the street name.

“It’s an hour away.”

She was exhausted, but she wouldn’t say no. “I’ll see you soon,” she promised him.

Needing caffeine, she stopped at Cuppa Café and picked up an extra-large coffee to take with her on the drive. She programmed the address Brian had given her into her GPS and started on her way. It was dark by the time she pulled up to a heavily wooded area on the street Brian had named.

There was only one driveway on the street beside a discreet sign:
MEADOW TREATMENT CENTER.
Liza pulled to a stop and stared at the sign, not comprehending what she saw.

Her cell phone rang again. “It’s me,” Brian said. “Are you close?”

“I…I’m here. I’m also confused.”

“This is the last call they’ll let me make for a while. Pull in, park, and go to the entrance. Ask for me. They’re expecting you at the desk,” Brian said.

“Treatment center?” She still couldn’t believe it.

A few minutes later, she’d reached the main desk and asked to see Brian McKnight.

A young woman led Liza down a maze of corridors and into a large waiting room, with a television and a set of matching couches. “Just wait here,” the dark-haired woman instructed.

Liza knew she was trembling, but she couldn’t stop. She wouldn’t until she saw her brother. The minutes dragged by until finally she heard his voice.

“Liza?”

“Brian!” She turned and he stood in the doorway, looking nothing like her brother.

His normally well-combed hair was a mess, he wore a beard that hadn’t seen a razor in way too long, his eyes were bloodshot, and his skin was sallow. He was dressed in gray sweats and a faded youth league baseball T-shirt, clothing he’d never normally wear. But none of that mattered compared to the fact that he stood in front of her safe and sound—and in a treatment center of all places.

Liza ran to him and pulled him into a tight hug. “I was so worried about you.”

“I don’t know why you haven’t given up on me yet,” her brother said.

She stepped back, meeting his gaze. “I don’t want to, but I can’t go through this again. I won’t. The loan shark, the threats, people following me…” Her voice trailed off. She didn’t want to relive the day.

“I’m sorry.”

She pressed her lips together in a grim smile. “I know.” But she also knew apologies weren’t enough, not anymore. “But you’re here, in this place. I’m so proud of you.” She hugged him once more.

“Umm, I can’t take complete credit.”

She stepped back. Taking his hand, she led him to one of the sofas. “What do you mean?”

“Your boyfriend found me in a dump hotel.”

“My what?”

“Your cop boyfriend. He showed up and started giving me orders. He made me shower. He cleaned up the mess I made of the room, tossed the bottles…He even gave me clean clothes.” Brian ducked his head, obviously embarrassed.

Liza was too stunned to speak. Instead, she fingered the worn shirt her brother wore. Dare had done this? For Brian? A man he despised?

“He read me the riot act and then gave me five minutes to decide whether or not to let him drive me here.”

Liza blinked back tears. “You came.”

“He pretty emphatically told me not to do it for you but for myself. But I have to say, the man loves you, Liza Lou.”

She shook her head hard, not wanting to hear those words, refusing to believe in fantasies ever again. “Dare’s got a lot of his own guilt over Stuart Rossman. He lives to do the right thing now. Helping you was his way of making sure he did right by me to the end. That’s all.”

“Hey. I’m the one in denial in this family, not you.” Brian lifted her chin with his hand. “It’s no secret I hate cops, right?”

She managed a smile. “Right.”

“But this is me telling you the guy’s okay. And he loves you. He told me so.”

“But—”

“No buts. You’re going to need someone to lean on while I’m in here.”

She touched his cheek. “I’ve been on my own for a long time. I’ll be fine.” But her mind was reeling from the fact that Dare had not only found Brian but taken care of him.

For himself? Or did his feelings for her play a role, as her brother believed. And even if she allowed herself to trust what her brother said, just because Dare loved her—and her heart sped up at the possibility—didn’t mean he could accept who and what her brother was.

When Liza closed her eyes at night, she remembered his harsh words, heard the anger and hatred in his voice. Love?
Not hardly,
she thought. But she
knew
him, and by now he was, as Cara said, probably kicking himself for turning on her. She could forgive him for that night, but she didn’t expect anything more from him.

“How long are you here for?” she asked Brian.

“I don’t know. There’s an evaluation period and treatment plans. I put your name down on my forms. You can call and they’ll give you whatever information you want or need.” He drew a deep breath. “I’m going to try my best, Liza Lou.”

She smiled. “That’s all anyone can do.” And it was so much more than she’d had to hold on to a few short hours ago.

It was what she needed to do. When she left here, she’d gather the same strength her brother had shown, and go on with her life.

“How will you pay for this?” she asked, knowing from the look of the place that it was a high-end facility. “I can—”

“No.” He barked out the word. “I’m sorry. No. Thank you. You’ve done enough for me. Because of me. I called Mom and Dad. They’re footing the bill for this.”

Liza exhaled hard. “Wow. Okay, then.”

“And they’re sending you a check for the money you laid out. If the police recover the money from the loan shark, you can repay them. If not…Don’t worry about it.”

She had to be hearing things. “Brian…”

“I told them everything. What I’ve done, how I stole from the business, put you in danger, and hurt you. And before you ask, it doesn’t matter what they think or feel. They are who they are.”

She nodded at that.

Brian touched her hand. “In other words, they suck as your parents, but they’re doing what I asked. And you’ll cash that check. For me.”

Liza blinked, but the tears fell anyway. “I love you, Brian.”

“Me too.”

“Then get better, okay?” She wrapped her arms around him tight.

“You won’t be able to visit me for a while,” he whispered in her ear.

Throat clogged, she nodded. “But I can call for updates? They’ll talk to me?”

“I promise.”

It wasn’t easy, but she let him go and watched him walk away. Someone, a nurse maybe, met him outside the door to take him back to his room.

Her chest hurt, her eyes burned, and she prayed he possessed the strength to get through this and make it on the
outside. Time would tell, but this was an unexpected yet unbelievably good first step.

And for that she owed Dare her thanks.

Alone in the dark, Liza walked to her car, leaving the rehab center and her brother behind. Summer heat and humidity surrounded her as did a mixture of relief for her brother and a sense of purpose for herself.

She might be as alone as she was before, but she wasn’t the same person as a few short weeks ago. She looked at her life, taking stock. She’d miss her brother. Even when Brian had been drinking and out of control, he’d still been in her world, the one person with whom she felt truly connected. And as for friends? She’d claimed to have them in the city, but she hadn’t spoken to the girls in a while. They had no idea what was going on in her life. How could she call them friends and claim it was enough anymore?

She couldn’t. Since Dare had introduced her to his friends and family, she’d seen the possibilities inherent in intimate human connection, in letting people in. And even though Faith and Kelly were part of Dare’s world, Liza had no reason to believe they’d abandon her just because she and Dare were no longer together.

The insecure girl inside Liza rose up, wondering if they’d all just babysat her and put up with her for Dare’s sake, but the adult she’d become refused to believe it. They weren’t her parents, who made her feel worthless and inadequate. They’d been good to her and she refused to succumb to more self-doubt or pity.

Still, tears stung and she decided she’d definitely done enough crying lately. She opened her bag and looked for her keys, pausing to use a tissue and wipe her eyes. Grabbing the remote, she hit the unlock button.

Her car made the usual beeping sound and the outside lights flashed. Liza looked up—and right into Dare’s eyes.

He waited, leaning against the side of her car, and of course, he looked good. Steady, sexy…

“Hey.” He raised a hand in greeting.

“Hi,” she said, startled to see him.

He looked good enough to eat in his faded jeans and light blue T-shirt that showed off the muscles in his arms. She swallowed hard, trying not to stare even when all she wanted to do was crawl into his embrace and never leave.

Instead, she waited, as he did, awkwardness settling around them. Not the awkwardness of the days after Brian’s last phone call. Those had been filled with a sense of sadness and despair. And there was no lingering anger from their last meeting. But there was discomfort stemming from not knowing what to say or do. And that was something they’d never had between them.

So Liza stepped up and took control. “I don’t know how to begin to thank you for what you did for Brian. For bringing him here.” She shook her head, still amazed, a lump in her throat.

He’d pushed himself off the car but still stood out of reach, watching her intently. But she couldn’t read his expression.

“Brian had to be willing to come with me. And he was.”

She nodded in agreement. “But he wouldn’t have done it on his own. So thank you.”

Dare inclined his head. “You’re welcome.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, debating how far to take this conversation and then decided what the hell. She might as well find out everything she wanted to know. At least she’d have answers to satisfy her in the long lonely days and nights ahead.

She clenched her hands into fists at her side. “Why did you do it?” she asked, meeting his gaze.

Dare smiled grimly. “Your brother asked me the same thing.”

“And? What did you tell him?”

Dare let out a harsh breath. “Short, easy answer? I did it for you. Seeing if I could talk some sense into your brother was the least I could do after the awful things I said to you.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw, the only evidence of emotion she’d seen. So Cara was right. He’d been kicking himself for how he’d treated her.

Liza swallowed hard, knowing his reasons didn’t satisfy the longing inside her. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful. Eternally so. But you don’t owe me anything.” Obligation was the last thing she wanted him to feel. If she couldn’t have his love—the one thing, the only thing, she wanted from him—then she didn’t want anything at all. “People say awful things in time of crisis. I understand that.”

His lips quirked upward a tiny bit. “Thanks, but you need to know how sorry I am. Hurting you like that, humiliating you in front of friends and family…” He ran a hand through his hair and looked away, obviously ashamed.

“It’s okay,” she said, giving him the forgiveness he needed. “Your stress level was through the roof and you took it out on the nearest person. Me. It’s over and done.”

“No,” he said, practically cutting her off to correct her. “I took it out on the person
closest
to me and I don’t mean in proximity.”

Liza narrowed her gaze, unsure of what he meant. “I don’t understand.”

“Because I’m not saying this right.” He shook his head and groaned. “Bear with me, okay?”

This was new. Dare Barron, off balance and unsure. Touched and curious, she nodded. And waited.

Finally, he met her gaze. “I didn’t find Brian just to make it up to you. I did it for me, because I needed closure.”

She nodded. “I can understand that.”

“And I expected us to have an argument, which, in my mind, was years and years in the making.”

“Did you and Brian fight?” Liza asked, horrified by the possibility.

Dare laughed at that. “He was in no condition for it, and once I really looked at him, saw him…I didn’t want to. For years, I hated him. But when I got to the hotel room I realized I couldn’t hate him anymore.”

He sounded as stunned as she felt and hope sprung up inside her for the first time. If he didn’t hate Brian, did that mean
they
had a chance?

“Why not?” she asked.

Dare met her gaze, his eyes clear and focused. “Because Brian already hated himself enough for both of us. He’s been punishing himself for years, trying to drown his pain in alcohol and other addictions.”

“It hasn’t been easy to watch,” she whispered.

“But I can see now why you felt so compelled to help him.”