Keep Me (30 page)

“Tessa, you have to believe me.” He rushed toward me, grabbing my shoulders with force and trying to pull me close.

I struggled, resisting, while heat in the form of fear rose through my core, up my throat, to my face, terrifying me. This was too reminiscent of my nightmares with Zack; where he’d shake me by my shoulders until I feared my brains would scramble, bouncing around in my skull. “Stop it! Get off of me! You’re hurting me!” I cried, the tears running down my face now.

Realization registered on his face, all color drained, his hands falling to his sides. “No, baby. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to hurt you—I’m not him. Please, I’m so, so sorry.”

I stood there, cradling myself with so many unfamiliar eyes scrutinizing me. I blocked out the words coming out of his mouth, the idle “are you okays?” from the strangers witnessing my vulnerability. Someone must have stepped out and mentioned there was an altercation because Riley whooshed through the back door, holding Luca, ready to put out a fire.

I pummeled past Marcus and rushed over to her, near-blinded by the flood of tears. Snatching my son, I whispered, “I’m leaving.” She tried to speak but I didn’t let her. “I. Need. To. Leave. Please just pack all my stuff with you and bring it when you come home. I’ll pick it up from you this week.”

She looked so confused. I wanted to explain, but I couldn’t stand here for one more minute. “What? Tess, what the hell is going on?” Her eyes darted from mine and then behind me to her brother. I didn’t follow her gaze to see his expression, but I didn’t have to see it to know that Riley was piecing it all together. “You son of a bitch!” she screamed before she flew past me.

I stood tall, ignoring the throbbing ache in my chest and the judgmental eyes and just left. Strapping my son in his seat, I got in the car, drove off, and left my heart on that living room floor to continue being stomped on.

“You proved them all right today. Thank you very fucking much.”

Walk away, Marcus. Just walk away and maybe the hurt will disappear.
It usually worked, but somehow this was way different. I couldn’t avoid the way my chest tightened around my heart, trying to protect it from shattering. But I would make sure Tessa couldn’t see the pain. She couldn’t see how her doubt in me was tearing at my insides.

As I trudged past the people crowding the patio and mingling inside where it was cooler, my mind raced. What more did I have to do to prove to her that I was changed? My eyes never roamed, not even once, today. The shit with Skylar was unexpected, but totally out of my control. And Tessa’s accusations, the ones that put her in agreement with Riley—it fucking hurt like hell to think she would never be able to see past my reputation and take us seriously.

I needed to be alone. To think. My head had never felt so flooded with emotions before, not even when—but this was different than losing someone for good. She was still here, in the flesh, and knowing there was a possibility that she didn’t want to be with me anymore— “Fuck!” I cursed as I slammed the door to my room and punched my fist into the solid oak dresser. My knuckles instantly swelled, but the pain surrounding my heart still overpowered the blow to my hand.

Why was this so difficult? It seemed simple enough to me. We were good for each other, regardless of our pasts. You didn’t see me second-guessing every little thing she did because she had a kid, or was a little screwed up because of her fucked-up ex. No! I was willing to work around all that, to help her through her issues and welcome Luca into my life. What the fuck more did she need from me?

Nursing my hand close to my chest, I walked over to the bed—the one I shared with Tessa like a normal couple for two whole magical nights—and slumped onto the mattress. No sooner did my head hit the pillow, when I heard the knock at the door. I jumped up immediately, hopeful that it was Tessa coming to find me. Coming to apologize and tell me she wasn’t giving up on us. “Come in,” I called out and watched the door inch open.

I felt my body wilt, as I exhaled a long puff of air from my nose. “What do you want, Skylar?”

She walked in, unwelcomed, closing the door behind her and leaning up against it. “Now that’s no way to treat a guest, is it?” She tilted her head, narrowing her gaze on my hand. “Ouch. I saw you two arguing, and then you stormed off, but what happened here?” She made her way to my bed, pointing at my throbbing fist.

“It’s nothing. As a matter of fact, I was just headed downstairs to get some ice on it.”

“Why don’t you let me take a look at it first, huh?” the mattress dipped slightly with her weight and her hands reached to touch mine. I recoiled, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. “Relax, Marcus. I just want to see your hand. I’m not gonna bite.”

My muscles tensed from her being so close and not wanting her here. Irritated, I clenched my fist tighter. “Shit!” I winced from the pain. My hand was probably broken.
What a fucking idiot!
Violence would surely win Tessa over, stupid asshole.

“That’s bad, City. You’ll need to get it looked at. By a doctor.”

I stood up, brushing past her and ignoring every word she said. It was probably another dickish move to be angry with Skylar, but I couldn’t help it. “You need to leave. My room, the party. Just go.” I spoke to myself in the mirror, never turning to face her, but I felt her presence coming up behind me.

“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.” She pouted.

“I’m sure you didn’t, but you did. And I have to go back out there and fix it.” This was stupid. I had a house full of guests and I was up in my room, with Skylar, sulking over something that could be fixed. I should be sulking over the condition of my hand, which was getting increasingly more painful by the second, but my mind was on one thing and one thing only.

Getting back to Tessa.

I turned to walk away, but Skylar had me cornered, her hands secured to the dresser, caging my much larger body with her tiny frame. All I had to do was move and I’d be out of her hold, but I gave her the chance to do the right thing.

Wrong move.

“What’s she got that I haven’t, huh?” she whispered, her lips grazing my ear. “Does she fuck you as good I do? I came back for more. Are you going to deny me?”

With my good hand, I pulled the hair at the nape of her neck and tilted her head so she could look at me. “Enough. I have a girlfriend and… this… is not happening.”

“Mmm, I love it rough,” she purred. “And the girlfriend thing—bullshit. I know your kind. You like variety—it’s the spice of life.” Her eyes danced with mischief. I guessed she wasn’t used to hearing no. “Come on, City. I won’t tell anyone. It’ll be our little secret.”

I pushed past the pain in my hand and reached behind me to remove her hands from their grip on the dresser. She beat me to it and forced her fingers in my hair and her mouth over mine. My brain tried with all it’s might to tell my body not to react—and it was doing a pretty good job—until her leg flung around my waist, her core grinding against me as her hand started to creep into my shorts.

Just then, the door swung open and what I saw next made my heart implode.
No! This can’t be fucking happening.
I pushed Skylar to the other side of the room, and rocketed toward Tessa. “Tessa, it’s not what you think.” What a dumb thing to say, but it was the only thing that came to mind.

“Nice, Marcus! Real nice. One little argument and you go fucking around. Everyone
was
right about you and once again, I’m the asshole.” Her eyes brimmed with tears, her face devoid of all the color she soaked up in the sun today.

Her hair whipped around as she turned her back on me, leaving the room. I stopped the door mid-swing, running up behind her, gripping her waist. “Please, Tessa. I swear to you, I wasn’t doing anything. It was all her. She came in here and tried to—I wasn’t doing anything!” My voice was shaky and choppy, not my own. Emotion poured out of me like a sieve, it was uncontrollable.

“Leave. Me. Alone,” was all she said, never looking back at me, but jerking her arm from my grip before she disappeared out of my view.

“Wait! Please don’t do this!” I pounded down the steps, calling after her.

Heads turned, all eyes on us, but I didn’t give a shit. For all I cared it was just the two of us in this house right now. I couldn’t let her think the worst of what she saw. But then Skylar pranced down the steps, wearing a shit eating grin.
Great! Just fucking great!
If I saw this I’d be thinking exactly what all these people must be thinking.

“Tessa, you have to believe me.” I ignored all the disapproving eyes, rushing to her. Forgetting about my hand, I grabbed her shoulders, digging my fingers into her skin. I couldn’t let her go. No. Not without explaining myself.

I opened my mouth to start my plea, but the expression on her face stopped me. It ripped my heart out too.

“Stop it! Get off of me! You’re hurting me!” Tears ran down her face, her body shook in my hands.

Oh, no! What the fuck did I do?
“No, baby. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to hurt you—I’m not him. Please, I’m so so sorry.” Oh my god, there was no coming back from this. She was petrified. I did the unspeakable—dredging up painful memories and stooping down to an animal’s level. I dropped my hands to my side, frozen, afraid to even be too close to her. The blood drummed so loudly in my ears it was deafening. I never wanted to hurt her, never imagined she’d look at me as if I were a monster. I was speechless, motionless, there was no way to redeem myself for this.

Riley came pummeling through the sliders and into the living room, toting Luca. Tessa jetted over to them, ripping Luca from Riley and saying something inaudible. I didn’t need to hear her though, her body language said it all. She was done. We were done. I’d lost everything because of one momentary lapse of sanity.

“Tess, what the hell is going on?” Riley shouted before taking an inventory of the room—the crowd, Skylar, me. When her eyes met mine, I saw fire. “You son of a bitch!” She lunged at me. “What did you do? I knew this would fucking happen. I knew it!” Her finger pounded into my chest, but it wasn’t more than a mere tickle compared to the overwhelming pain that impaled me.

The sound of crunching gravel and tires peeling out drove the knife deeper, spreading the wound, inflicting more excruciating torture. She was gone.

I took a moment to collect myself. The heat in my veins coursed through me, but my breathing was finally steady again, my heart no longer threatening to pound out of my chest. “Skylar, go the fuck home. You’re not welcome here.” It was the first thing I said before pushing past Riley and running out to the porch. “Fuck!” I growled, feeling helpless. I would never catch her on foot. I needed to drive. I had to follow her.

I swung the screen door open again and ripped the key hook off the wall, searching for my car keys.

“Where do you think you’re going? You’ve been drinking all day. You can’t drive.” The crowd dissipated, except for my sister and Beck. Both of them stared at me as if I were some freak show.

“I have to go after her, Riley. I can’t let her go.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you went and fucked Little Miss Twat-wad over there. You are disgusting, you know that? I warned her about you. I knew you’d do this—that your true colors would show. But I never imagined you’d do it while she was here, with her son. What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you so fucked up?”

I raked my hands through my hair, the broken one so numb at this point it didn’t matter what I did to it. “Just shut up! You have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t screw that girl. I swear to it. She came after me when she saw me arguing with Tessa. I told her no, to leave, but she still pushed on. Then Tessa came in, saw Skylar all over…
Fuck
!” I screamed, remembering Tessa’s face when she walked in on us. What the eyes could make the brain believe. It was insane!
I
felt insane in this moment—rage was a mild way to put it. “Let me go. I have to go after her.”

Riley shook her head. It didn’t matter that she knew the truth, she was disappointed. This was exactly what she was trying to protect Tessa from all this time.

“I fucking love her!” I shouted, my throat raw from the intensity. “Don’t you see that? I love her, Riley. I can’t let her go!”

Riley’s eyes grew wide. Her hand flew up to her mouth, astonished. Finally, she dropped her head in her hands and she started to sob.
What the fuck was she crying about?

“I don’t have time for this shit. I have to get out of here before it’s too late. Before she jumps to more conclusions.” The keys jangled as I darted for the door.

“No!” Beck barged past Riley, ripping my keys from my hand. “You can’t drive like this and you can’t chase her down. Let her get home in one piece, and then you’ll call her. You’ll work it all out, buddy, just not like this.”

“No, you don’t understand,” I pleaded. They couldn’t understand. To them I was a leopard who showed my spots—but that was so far from the truth it was impossible to comprehend. This was past proving a point, or showing them my transformation. I didn’t owe anyone anything. I only owed Tessa the truth and she needed to hear it now. “You don’t understand how much I love her. I can’t lose her.”