Killing Me Softly (14 page)

She smiled back at Daemon. He blew her a kiss then turned back to the audience.

Suspended over the keyboards, her fingers itched, ready and waiting to begin.

The noise around her came to a peak as Daemon counted them in to ‘Brighter Days’, The Sidhe’s first hit. Without thinking she played the opening riff, the bright jangly chords opening up into the melody with the introduction of guitar and the driving four-four rhythm of the drums. Daemon’s voice soared over the music as he prowled across the stage, owning it, owning the band, owning the crowd. He was giving his entire self over to the performance and the crowd were lapping it up.

She found herself playing one-handed while she mixed them on the mixer, set up next to the keyboards.

She lost herself in the music as they played their set, delighting in the instrument duelling that was a signature of the band when they played live. Her fingers soared over the keyboards as she jammed, expanding on the chords, funking up one instrumental break. The rest of the band joined in and the crowd – including the older members – roared their approval.

Performing was more exhilarating than she remembered. She should have done this years ago: played in some small, out-of-the-way pub, where the only publicity was a poster in the local grocery store. In a place like Fellhaven, she didn’t have to worry about someone from the media discovering her past. None of the locals would care anyway. They’d accepted her because Bev and Karl had accepted her. She was among friends.

The realisation enabled her to truly let go for the first time in years. The energy of the crowd, the connection with the band, the joy of the music surged through her, creating an amazing feeling. The lights flashed and she got glimpses of the crowd further back from the stage. She could see Billy and Cat sitting at the table in the corner. They almost looked like a normal couple, enjoying a night out together. Billy had his arm around Cat, swaying to the music. She could see Cat’s hand tapping the beat on the table in front of her.

Music again. Not her music this time, but she was putting her heart and soul into this music she was playing. And it was touching her sister, making her respond. Maybe that was her way to reach Cat, to really speak to her, wherever she was hiding. Maybe Cat didn’t blame her or hate her. Maybe she just couldn’t understand the emotions inside Lexi when she tried to express them in words.

The thought made the moment sweeter. It made her want to shout, but instead, she looked down at her hands flying across the keyboard, becoming the music as Daemon’s voice thrummed through her. The moment seemed too good to be true.

She had Daemon to thank for it.

He had watched her dancing, allowing this one to touch her, then that one. Slut! She didn’t realise how wrong she was.

Bitch.

Whore.

Daughter of Eve.

She had forgotten she belonged to one man and that man was no longer here, thanks to her lies and machinations. He was never coming back. She would pay for that. But she belonged to him now. Was that not the ancient biblical law? What belonged to a man would go to his brother on his death. One couldn’t argue with ancient law.

He had waited in the shadowed dark until The Sidhe band members went outside, and in the crowd and swirl, he joined the dance. He had come so close to her, hand skimming hand as they passed in the dance. He smiled at her as they passed. She smiled back.

The thrill of being close to her was almost too much. When she got up on the stage to play, the fear he could see in her eyes took him to the edge. Needing to relieve the pressure, he escaped outside with the girl he’d grabbed to dance with. The cold air caressed his skin, but he didn’t care. Neither did the girl. She was more than willing to run into the copse and fuck him up against the rough bark of an ancient tree.

A whore through and through.

She struggled as he forced her down, but that was only pretence. She wanted this. They all wanted this.

The sound of her cries were muffled by his hand over her mouth, his fingers digging into her throat as he drove into her over and over until he spilled his sacred seed.

Thou shalt go forth and multiply!

The commandment was so loud in his head he thought he might have shouted it. His fingers tightened. The whore shuddered under him, once, twice and then was still.

Hearing the music in the distance, he stood and brushed himself off, leaving her lying there pale and still on the ground, forgotten the minute she was out of sight.

He returned to the hall, grateful for the release. Now he could stand to watch that bitch, Alexia, play with the band.

Her fear had gone.

Not content to flirt with just a few men, she had to flaunt herself in front of a whole crowd of screaming teenagers. How inappropriate. She needed to be taught a lesson.

Providence and his brother had made him the one for the job.

Her eyes landed on him as she looked blindly out into the lights. The accidental contact felt like a caress. Soon she would see him for real.

Then she would truly know her destiny.

The last song in the set came to a close with a squeal of guitar and crash of cymbals and drums. The wave of applause shivered through Lexi as the screams and cheers rose over them. Daemon thanked the audience and told everyone to keep up the applause as the dance band took to the stage. He grabbed Lexi’s hand and rushed offstage as the music started up and the audience cheered and began to dance.

Elation flooded through her as they ran out into the cool night air. She laughed out loud, spreading her arms and lifting her face to the clear sky. Spinning around, her laugh rang like a bell, pealing her joy across the fells. The clean, cool air gave her goose bumps. But she didn’t care. Not when joy and excitement filled her with a warmth she’d been without for so long.

She turned and rushed back to Daemon throwing her arms around him, all caution thrown aside in her excitement.

‘Thank you, thank you, thank you. That was so much fun. I didn’t think I could do that. And did you see Cat? She was responding. Thank you again and again for pushing me into it! It was wonderful.’ She planted a kiss on his lips.

Desire lashed through her at the contact, just as it had the other times he’d kissed her – except this time it was her kissing him. He hadn’t moved, his lips still under hers, his body tense.

Pulling back slowly, hand on his chest, she looked up and into those deep blue eyes. He wasn’t smiling. His breath came hard and fast like hers and she could feel his heart thundering in his chest.

‘Sorry. I . . . I didn’t mean to do that,’ she stammered. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’ She knew she should move back, but his gaze captured hers, his warmth wrapped around her. She couldn’t move. Wasn’t even certain she wanted to.

‘Whatever it was, I’m glad of it.’ Slowly his head lowered. ‘You were wonderful.’ His lips hovered just above hers, his breath brushing across her face.

‘No. You and Craig were wonderful. You’re so easy to play with,’ she rambled, unable to stop. ‘You work so seamlessly together. I just hope I was half as good as Craig.’

His lips touched hers. ‘Better.’ He nibbled her bottom lip.

She swallowed against the moan trying to make its way out. ‘I think Craig wouldn’t like to hear that.’

He ran his tongue along the inside of her lip. ‘Alexia?’

‘Yes?’

‘Shut up.’

He swallowed her response as his mouth took full possession of hers. Lexi’s arms slid up and around his shoulders, one hand digging into his thick black hair. His hands roamed down her back and over her bottom, pulling her closer, the hard outline of his erection pressing against her stomach.

His arousal excited something deep inside her, feeding the gathering tightness his kisses and caressing hands created. Inside she melted – hot, sticky, moist. His hand ran up her back, fisted in her hair, his tongue exploring, stroking along the inside of her lips, the roof of her mouth, tangling with hers. She gasped for breath as his mouth travelled a path across her chin, down her neck, nibbling, nipping. She trembled. Her legs buckled and he tightened his hold on her, taking her mouth again with his.

She was lost in sensation, the euphoria of performing fuelling her desire for him – a desire she had until now been trying to suppress, to ignore. Given free rein, it exploded inside her until she was kissing him with a fervour she couldn’t control.

Someone wolf-whistled.

Someone else called out, ‘Get a room, you two!’

The laughter that followed edged dimly into her awareness and brought her back – slowly – from the brink of something she didn’t quite understand. Sounds around them began to register; the band playing in the background, people dancing and clapping, couples strolling and chatting nearby. Their kisses slowed. Daemon’s hands cupped her face as he pulled away, breathing heavily and looked deep into her eyes.

‘You know this wouldn’t stop if we were in the right place?’

She looked at him and realised she couldn’t deny the intensity of feelings he created within her. ‘I know.’

He brushed stray hairs back from her face with his thumbs, the caress gentle as a whisper. She closed her eyes against the longing his gentleness created.

‘This is more than I wanted, more than I expected.’

‘I know.’ Her voice was a whisper. ‘I don’t want it either. You’re affecting my ability to think straight. Every time I manage to get you out of my mind, you find some way of getting back in.’ She touched his face, his temple, brushing back the lock of hair that had fallen over his brow. ‘I don’t know how to stop it.’

He smiled, leaning his forehead against hers. ‘I know what you mean. There’s something more than attraction going on here and we need to address it.’

She sighed and pushed away from him. ‘Nothing can happen.’

He frowned. ‘Why not?’

She shook her head, fighting for words. All she wanted was to kiss him again, to be lost in him, but deep down she knew she couldn’t. It wouldn’t be wise to give in to these feelings. ‘It just wouldn’t work.’

‘Why not?’

‘We work together, for starters.’

He shrugged. ‘We can work around that.’

‘We’re too different. Our lives are too different. You like what you do, living in the public eye.’ She looked deeply into his eyes. ‘You’re not just a musician, you’re a showman. You love being up there. I knew it before, but tonight I felt it, felt how important it was to you, how so much of who you are is a part of that. You could no more do without the explosive energy performing gives you than you could do without your hands or your voice.’ She shook her head. ‘That kind of need brings the inevitable stardom you have, the adoration of your fans, the media intrusion. The thought someone could have taken a photo of us then and be posting it on the web now so that it ends up splashed in the newspapers fills me with horror.’

‘Nobody around here would do that to you.’

She bit her lip and looked up into his eyes and then away. ‘No. They wouldn’t. But a stranger would and could, and I can’t live like that.’ Her voice dropped. ‘It happened to me once and I swore it would never happen again.’

Daemon thought for a wild moment she would open up to him, but instead she shuddered, removing herself very gently from his grasp, and stepped away. Only a step, but he felt a chasm open between them.

Anger flared in him. She was pushing him away again. ‘I’m not asking you to be my partner or marry me.’

She paled, stepped further back. ‘I . . . I thought . . . ’ She swallowed and closed her eyes for a moment, visibly pulling herself back together, before opening her eyes again and meeting his gaze. ‘I’m being stupid. I know. I was making assumptions. Of course you wouldn’t want that, given you’ve only been divorced for a few years and what she put you through lately . . . ’ her voice trailed off. ‘I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to talk about that.’

‘No. I don’t.’

‘Right.’ She nodded. ‘So, should we just forget this ever happened like we did before?’

Daemon cursed himself. He’d let his goddamned temper get the better of him when he really needed to stay in control. But he wasn’t going to drop it. His need for her was too strong. She had to know he wasn’t going to let her keep pushing him away. ‘I don’t think that’s possible. I don’t think you forgot about it before and I damned well know I didn’t. Neither of us might be talking about a full-on commitment, but this attraction between us isn’t going to disappear just because we want it to.’

‘I know.’ She paused, took a deep, shuddering breath. ‘Perhaps we should remove the temptation.’

He smiled, stepping toward her. ‘By giving in to it?’

‘No. I think maybe we shouldn’t work together.’

‘What?’ The word echoed in the crisp night air. A few people turned to look their way. He stepped closer to her, lowered his voice. ‘You can’t do that. We’ve got a contract.’

‘It could be the only way to deal with this,’ she pleaded, almost desperate, and he realised how upset she was.

‘No, it’s not,’ he said, scrambling past the fear her words had caused. He couldn’t leave now. He had to work with her. The joy had come back in his music and she was a great part of that. He wasn’t giving up on that now. Realising she was trembling, he stepped back. ‘We’ll figure out something.’

Lexi shook her head. ‘I’m not sure how. I’m not someone who has ever thought casually about sex. I mean . . . I’ve never . . . It hasn’t been easy for me to trust a man enough to get that close.’ She swallowed hard. ‘Yet you’re making me think about doing just that. It scares the hell out of me. I feel something for you. I won’t insult you by denying that. But I can’t give in to it. I won’t. If the media found out we were having an affair . . . I changed my name for a reason. I had trouble with the media years ago. If someone put two and two together . . . ’ she took a deep breath. ‘I’m not going to go into it now. Suffice to say things I would prefer to forget would come back to haunt me. And it could hurt those I love.’

‘What happened in the past, it wasn’t your fault was it?’ he asked, even though he knew the answer. He so wanted her to trust him. To confide in him.

She frowned. ‘No, it wasn’t. But the media won’t care a hoot about the truth. They’ll just see the story and they won’t let it go. I can’t go through that again. I won’t put Billy or my sister or any of the bands I work with through that kind of media frenzy.’

He understood but at the same time he wasn’t about to let her shut the door on him. ‘Alexia.’ He put his hand out to touch her and she backed away. He suppressed a frustrated sigh and tried again. ‘It’s late, we’re both drained. I think it would do us both an injustice if we tried to settle this now. Why don’t we go home, have a good night’s sleep and talk about what we’re going to do with these feelings tomorrow?’

Her smile, when it came, was wobbly. ‘I think I’ll go and see if I can get a ride home with Billy and Cat.’

That wasn’t what he had intended but he could see how useless arguing would be. Instead, he reached out and gently grasped her hand, stopping her from walking away from him. ‘Meet me for breakfast. We’ll talk then.’

She sighed. ‘Okay. Fine. I’ll meet you in the studio at eight.’

‘Good.’ He let go of her hand but before she had got more than a couple of steps he called her name. ‘Alexia? Promise me one thing.’

‘What?’

‘Don’t make a rash decision before talking to me. We work too well together. Don’t close the door on that just because you’re frightened of our desire.’

She closed her eyes against the tears, against the longing, and kept walking. God, she wished she could close the door. He had no idea how much she wished she could do that.