Killing Me Softly (16 page)

Daemon’s brows rose but he didn’t deny her implication. Instead, he nodded. ‘I know. I promise I’ll be careful.’

‘I’m sure you will.’

Daemon could hear the unspoken warning in her words and wasn’t surprised Alexia had gained that kind of caring and loyalty from the people around her.

Bev finished off her tea and sighed. ‘It’s time I got a move on. Can you give me twenty minutes to get ready before we go?’

Daemon swallowed down the last of his tea. ‘I’ll go and tell Alexia and then fetch the car. We’ll meet you around the front.’

He stood up. Bev put her hand on his arm. ‘Thank you, Daemon. You don’t know what a comfort it has been to have you here this morning.’

Daemon smiled then bent and kissed her soft cheek. ‘You’re quite wonderful, you know that?’

Bev blushed and pushed him toward the door. ‘Oh, get away with you.’

Laughing, Daemon headed upstairs. He wasn’t certain which room was Alexia’s but he headed towards the only one that had noise coming from it. Reaching the door he knocked gently.

‘Come in.’

He stepped in and caught a glimpse of bare back as Alexia pulled a top over her head.

‘I won’t be a minute, Bev.’

‘It’s not Bev.’

She swung around, pulling the top down quickly but not before he saw the pretty ice-green lace bra she wore. Her face was flushed and her hair was mussed. He had never seen her looking so lovely.

Hiding her embarrassment, she pulled at the top and turned back to her dresser. ‘Where’s Bev?’

‘She’s making some calls. I thought we could take a moment to talk.’

Her hands fumbled with the chain she was trying to fasten around her neck.

‘Here, let me.’ He was at her side before she could stop him, turning her around. Her neck was warm against his cool fingers. She shivered but didn’t move away.

Encouraged, he let his fingers linger after doing up the clasp, running along the creamy warmth of her skin and playing with the silky curls that kissed the collar of her top. He heard her breath shudder out and he was thankful for the cool breeze coming in the window, caressing his suddenly hot, tight skin. He could see the pulse beat under the skin of her neck as he edged closer.

Still, she didn’t move away. Smiling, he brushed his fingers down the side of her throat, over her collarbone and down her arms. He took her hands and gently turned her around.

‘Alexia.’ His voice was a whispered breath, her name a prayer on his lips.

‘Daemon?’ She looked up into his face and could see the longing in her eyes.

‘I heard what you said before. Have you changed your mind? Are you willing to explore this thing between us? To give it a chance?’

She swallowed hard. He could see her fighting the instinct to deny it; the same instinct that had protected her against the world all these years. He could understand that instinct – he had to fight his own all the time – but he hoped like hell she wouldn’t give in to it now as she had every other time he’d touched her. The only problem was that bastard Lyndon had taken so much from her. Daemon was afraid she wouldn’t be able to get past it. Her sister hadn’t been able to. She’d locked herself away from life. He wanted to shake Alexia; to tell her not to do the same thing. She deserved so much more. She couldn’t let that bastard win.

He didn’t say any of that, though. Just kept his gaze on hers, willing her to trust, to give in to her feelings just this once.

Finally, when he thought he couldn’t stand the tension any longer, she slid shaking hands up and around his neck. ‘I’m not sure. I meant what I said last night. There’s no future for us.’

He couldn’t understand why that hurt so much, but instead of letting his anger flare again because of his hurt, he focused on her actions rather than her words. Her arms were wound around his neck, her body flush against his, her fingers twined in his hair. ‘I’m not asking for forever.’ He kissed her lightly; a brush of lips against lips. ‘Can you just concentrate on the present?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe . . . ’ She looked away. ‘I can’t think about this right now. Can you give me some time?’

‘Of course. I understand.’

‘You do?’

Looking down into her eyes, the confusion, the need to trust so clear there, he wished he could come clean about just how much he understood of her reticence. But he couldn’t. Now just wasn’t the time. But he could admit to what Craig had let slip. ‘Craig told me a little bit about what happened to Cat. Nothing specific,’ he said as anger flared in her eyes, ‘just that she was raped. I can’t pretend to know what you went through then, or in the years since, but I do know that after what Darla did to me, I need to protect myself, too.’

She smiled, her relief obvious. ‘Of course you do. Good.’ She blanched. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that to sound as if I was glad you were hurt by her, it’s just that it means you understand. And I’m glad.’

‘So am I.’

Her smile widened, the desire glowing in her eyes as her gaze met his. He knew he should let her go, but he couldn’t when she was looking up at him like that. Despite the fact she’d asked him for time, he kissed her again, his lips lingering until they were both panting. Then he pulled away. It took every ounce of self-control he had to do it, and the look of dazed desire in her eyes almost made him lose that control, but he didn’t. He knew, even though she’d agreed to think about it, he still had to be careful not to push too hard or confuse her in any way.

Gritting his teeth, he made himself let go of her, wondering, as he took a step back, whether he could be canonised as a saint for being so good. Probably not.

Sighing, he clenched his hands to his sides to stop himself reaching for her. The caress of her hand on his shoulder, his neck, the sensation as her fingers had twisted in his hair, lingered as if he’d been branded by her touch. No-one had touched him in quite that way before. He didn’t know why it felt so different with her, but it did. And it made it even harder to step away – he wasn’t a man used to denying himself the things he wanted. But he’d promised to give her time. And that he would do.

He had to grit his teeth and shove his hands into the back pockets of his jeans to stop himself from returning her touch.

Perhaps he already was a saint.

Taking a deep breath he steadied himself. ‘Come on. We need to get Bev over to the Harrisons.’

She touched his cheek. ‘You’re a good man. You should let people see that.’

He smiled, a wicked gleam in his eye. ‘What? And ruin my reputation as an alcohol-guzzling, egotistical ladies’ man?’

She chuckled. ‘You’re right. Why would you want to give that up?’

He laughed, gesturing to the door, and followed her out to the car. Thunder rumbled in the distance, the sky on the horizon promising another spectacular storm. He could smell the buzz of it in the air, enlivening the homely scents of the farm. They were scents that spoke to him, as did the rugged violence of the broken hills and the dark tangle of the wild woods surrounding the estate. ‘I love this place. It’s full of light and shadow. I wish I was a photographer and could capture what I see. I understand why you wouldn’t want to leave it.’

She didn’t answer him as they stopped at the car, instead looking up at him with a baffled expression on her face. ‘Then you have to know that’s one of the reasons we can’t be together. I can’t leave here. I don’t want to. And you can’t stay.’

Looking deeply into her eyes, he said, ‘I know, but I learned long ago that the future doesn’t matter when the present is all you’ve got. Give us a chance, even if it’s just for now.’

He touched her arm, squeezing for a second, then turned and hopped into the car. She stood staring after him for a long moment, breath caught in her throat as his words trembled through her, shaking the already unsteady ground she stood on.

Thunder rolled across the hills in the distance, the sky black on the horizon even though it was still blue over his head. Damned unpredictable weather. He would have to move to shelter soon, but for now he pulled his black coat around him and watched them from the shadows near the walled garden, his hands clenched.

Anger suffused his every sinew as he saw her touch the Irish bastard’s arm. He saw the way the Irish bastard’s eyes raked over her, possessive, possessing.

Didn’t he realise he was flying in the face of God, tempting God’s soldier to strike him down for his blasphemy?
Thou shalt not covet another man’s wife!
So it was written and so it must be. The Irish bastard had not learned his First Testament.

He chuckled. The Irish bastard would have to be taught.

And I am just the one to teach him.

They spent a couple of hours at the Harrisons, comforting Stan and Kevin, helping with funeral arrangements and taking incoming calls.

Constable Creeson called. The DIs were on their way to StormHaven Manor to question everyone. They had conducted a number of interviews but so far they had nothing to report. There had been a few visitors at the dance but nearly every one of them was known by a local resident. The police worked on the assumption that the murderer was someone passing through.

The overriding question was: why would Jenny head out into the dense wood behind the Church Hall with a stranger?

No-one wanted to think about the other possibility – that she had been murdered by someone she knew.

Jenny had been tending the bar until the second set. She had danced with a few people. When The Sidhe had played, everyone was too focused on the band to remember where Jenny had been. The police surmised that the assault and murder occurred after The Sidhe had taken the stage – which meant those who were onstage weren’t suspects, but the DIs still wanted to speak to them in case they’d seen something.

Lexi shuddered to think that while she had been having so much fun, Jenny was being raped and murdered.

She looked out the windscreen of Daemon’s car. The world had been washed clean by the recent storm, wind ruffling the tufts of grass, sending droplets of water to splash on the glass from the twisted trees hanging over the road. It seemed so strange that she could find such peace in the beauty of the day when something so awful had happened. It seemed even stranger that she should be so aware of Daemon when her mind was so full of other things.

She couldn’t help glancing at him as he drove, her gaze roaming over his strong profile. Just looking at him made her feel things she had never felt before. She’d watched him at the Harrisons, how he handled himself and other people. Despite the fact he was famous, he had gone out of his way to make everyone treat him just as they would anyone else so the attention was on the Harrisons in their time of grief and need. He’d even taken Kevin aside and spoken to him like the young man he was, not talking down to him as other men did. She’d seen Kevin smile as he’d shown Daemon his guitar and they’d spoken about music.

Was this the same man she had thought of as arrogant and egotistical? This man had been well hidden by the public persona. She didn’t really know him; but, oh, did she want to! After today, she felt herself trusting him just that little bit more. If he kept this up she knew she was a breath away from falling deeply in love with him.

No. That was impossible. It’s just that he wasn’t what she had expected.

Was that a bad thing?

She couldn’t figure out why that question was so hard to answer. Rather than try to answer it, she turned back to stare at the road ahead just as they turned into the drive leading through the park towards the manor.

Daemon drove past the manor and up the drive to the vine-covered cottage. He stopped in front of the gate and turned to Bev. ‘Here we go.’

Bev leaned forward. ‘Thank you, Daemon.’ She turned to Lexi. ‘I’ll be up in a little while to start dinner.’

‘No. You rest. I’ll take care of it.’

‘Are you sure, dear? I know you’re tired, too.’

Lexi shook her head. ‘I’m glad to have something to keep me busy.’

‘Right you are, then. And thank you.’ Bev kissed first her and then Daemon’s cheeks and hopped out of the car. They watched Bev until she’d walked inside and then Daemon started the car up again, turned around and drove back to the manor.

They pulled up. Daemon turned off the ignition and turned to Lexi. She knew she should say something, excuse herself, but once again, with his gaze on her, she couldn’t move.

His hand lifted, brushing her neck, fingers gently playing with the soft curls of her hair. Her breath stuttered in her throat, and a warmth she’d only experienced with him rushed through her. She didn’t want to let that feeling go. Not with the day so full of sadness and death. She wanted to embrace the warmth and let it remind her she was alive.

And God. She felt more alive right then than she had for a very long time.

Turning to him slowly she met his heated gaze. ‘Daemon?’ Her voice was soft, breathy. ‘I don’t want you to think me a tease, and I’m not saying this because I’ve made up my mind or anything, but can you kiss me? I just need you to kiss me.’

He didn’t say anything, didn’t smile, just shifted to cup her face with both hands and very slowly moved in to kiss her. His lips were warm on hers, tasting first one then the other, tracing the outline with his tongue, gently coaxing them open. The kiss was gentle but firm, hot yet wet, giving and at the same time taking. She felt no fear, only heat and desire and a yearning for more. She opened her mouth to his, inviting him to take more.

He pulled away, the effort of holding back making him tremble. He took a shuddering breath and looked deeply into her eyes. ‘God, kissing you is like an addiction. I don’t ever want to stop.’

‘You don’t have to.’

‘Yes I do. If I don’t now, I’ll never be able to. And I’m trying to be saintly.’

She couldn’t help but smile at his words. ‘You and saintly don’t really go together.’

He exhaled. ‘Don’t I know it?’ He ran his finger down the side of her face, across her lips. ‘But I’m trying.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you asked me to give you time and for once in my life I’m going to try to listen to someone else’s needs and not just my own.’

She looked down at her hands. She wanted him, wanted so badly to know what sharing her body with him would be like, but that was a physical wanting. Mentally she wasn’t so certain. How could she be ready for more if she was still so uncertain in her mind?

She gave him an appraising look. ‘I’m surprised you’re okay with that. Don’t all men just want “the sex”?’

He laughed. ‘You make it sound like some kind of disease.’ His laughter died, his expression serious. ‘Please don’t lump me in with your experience of men. Not all of us are like that.’ He smiled again. ‘Some of us are even quite nice.’

‘You’re more than nice.’

He reached out again, gently stroking her face. ‘I really want to make love to you . . . ’ He inhaled, shook his head. ‘But I won’t use your own desire as a weapon against you. Mentally you’re not ready yet. I know that. I understand that.’ He paused again, obviously trying to find the right words. He took her hands, looking into her eyes. ‘You need to know I don’t just want your body. I want all of you, ready and willing and wanting to let yourself go with me. Sharing. That’s what I want with you.’

She swallowed, deeply touched by his understanding. ‘I want that too.’

He nodded. Then smiled sheepishly. ‘Even though I’m giving you time to decide, I was wondering if you wanted to spend some time with me while you decided.’

She opened her mouth, but he stopped her from answering.

‘Not romantic time, just friendly, get-to-know-each-other-better kind of time. We could go horse riding or something.’

‘Just us, or can the others come, too?’

‘Whatever makes you feel comfortable.’

She bit her lip. ‘Maybe we could try just us?’

‘I’d like that.’

Silence fell between them as they stared at each other, not touching, just looking. After what seemed an age, Lexi broke the silence. ‘I better go. I’ve got to get dinner started. I promised Bev.’

‘Off you go.’

She didn’t move. After a while she looked down. ‘I . . . ’ She stopped.

‘What is it?’

‘I don’t know how to say goodbye to you.’

He smiled. ‘Usually a kiss on the cheek or a handshake would do for a first date.’

‘This isn’t a date.’ She looked up at him. ‘You’re laughing at me!’ She hit him on the knee. ‘Stop laughing at me.’ He laughed harder and she leant over and smacked him on the chest. ‘Stop that! It’s not funny. I was being serious.’

‘I know.’ He kept laughing.

‘Argh!’ She fisted her hand to whack him again. This time he grabbed her hand, tugged. She lost her balance and fell onto his shoulder.

Lips met lips in a long slow kiss. Finally, he drew away.

She sat back, light-headed and breathless. ‘I’d better go.’

He nodded, swallowed painfully. ‘Good idea.’ His eyes were like fire, burning her with their touch.

She glanced down, saw how aroused he was. Rather than scaring her, it made her feel powerful – that she could do that to him! She smiled. ‘See you later.’

‘I’m looking forward to it.’

Lexi hopped out of the car and walked up the stairs, still smiling.

Billy waited for her at the front door, frowning. Cat stood at his side, staring into the distance.

‘Hi Cat. Hi Billy. Have you had a nice day?’ She gave Cat a kiss.

‘We walked to the dell by the stream. It was a bit muddy and damp after the storm, but Cat seems to like it there.’

‘I knew she would. It’s my favourite place, too. I always find such comfort there. Are you coming inside?’ She opened the door, waiting for him to lead Cat inside.

He sighed, kicked the step and then nodded in the direction of Daemon’s car as it disappeared around the corner towards the Dower House. ‘Do you think that’s a good idea?’

Lexi pretended not to understand him. ‘What?’

Billy looked at her impatiently – the same look he used to give her when she annoyed him when they were children. ‘You know exactly what. Daemon is much more experienced than you.’

‘Good. He can show me a thing or two, seeing I’m such a baby.’

Billy didn’t flinch at her sarcasm. ‘You know what, Lexi? You can try and push me away, but you can’t stop me from worrying about you.’ He turned sharply to march away when her hand on his arm stopped him.

‘Please don’t go. I’m sorry.’

Billy turned back, sighing heavily. ‘I know you are. You just try my patience sometimes.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘He won’t stay. He can’t.’

‘I know that.’

Billy shook his head. ‘It’s good that you do, but I’m still worried.’

‘I know.’ She gripped his hand. ‘And I appreciate it. But I’m thinking it might be time to put the past behind me. I think Daemon can help me do that. Be happy for me. Please. Even if it’s only fleeting, be happy for me in this moment.’

He looked away, nodded. ‘No way but the hard way for Alexia Jasmine Deningham. You always loved butting your head up against walls until they cracked and fell.’

Lexi laughed. ‘That’s me, all right!’

He squeezed her hand. ‘I am happy for you. Just be careful, okay?’

‘I will. Thank you.’ She kissed him gently on the cheek. ‘I hope one day you can feel happiness again. For so long you’ve been my big brother and best friend and that will never change. I love you. I just wanted you to know.’

‘I know, Lexi. I love you, too.’ Billy grabbed her into a hug. After a long moment he let her go and took Cat’s arm in his. ‘Now come inside. Bev called through. She thought you could do with a little help with dinner.’

She hit him on the arm. ‘I know how to cook!’

‘That’s only because I taught you everything I know.’

‘Yeah, and knowing how to reheat leftovers has really come in handy over the years.’

‘Now you’re just being mean,’ he laughed.

As they led Cat inside and argued over how best to season and cook the meat and what to do with the vegetables, Alexia realised that perhaps Daemon was right. She should try to live for the moment and not worry about the ‘what ifs’. Could that be her new motto? She wasn’t sure. But one thing was certain, if she could find joy in moments like these, it meant Lyndon hadn’t won.

She hadn’t given in the night he attacked her. And she wasn’t going to give in now.

That night, sleep eluded her at first. When she finally succumbed, the nightmares chased her into sleep, claiming her tired mind. Images of Lyndon loomed over her in the darkness, his gaping mouth opened to swallow, to suck the life out of her, denying love, denying her a future. He held her down, his hand over her mouth, his fingers pressing painfully on her chin, crushing her windpipe.

‘It should have been you! It should have been you!’ His voice was a shrill scream in the darkness.

Lexi awoke, gasping, the effort to breathe painful, his words ringing in her ears, the burn of fingermarks on her throat. Fear and the icy touch of wind blowing in through the open window made her shiver.

The room was freezing cold.

The curtain swung and twisted in the wind. She was sure she hadn’t left the window open. Climbing out of bed, she hurried across the room to slam it shut. Grabbing an oversized jumper off the chair in the corner, she pulled it on over her pyjamas, then stood looking out at the night.

A light in the Dower House made her wonder if Daemon was awake, too. The thought brought a smile to her lips. She felt safe knowing he was so close.

She didn’t know how long she’d been staring at the light when the hair stood up on the back of her neck. Something was wrong. She could feel it.

Suddenly the letter she’d received from her stalker came to mind. He had said he knew where she lived. She’d taken comfort in the steps Karl had taken to keep her and Cat safe – but what if they hadn’t been enough? What if he had been in her room? What if he was in the house right now? Her window must have been opened. What if he’d come in through it?

Don’t be ridiculous.
He’d have to be a spider to climb up the wall. But he could have got in another way. There were plenty of doors and windows on the ground floor. What if Bev and Karl had forgotten to lock one?

Stop being so paranoid.
He couldn’t have been inside. If he had, he would have done something to her. He said he would. Said he would come after her and . . . 

Cat!

She ran out of her room and down the hall to Cat’s room, pulling herself up outside the door to listen. All was quiet. She opened the door a crack and peered in. The light from the hall fell over the bed and onto the sleeping form of her sister.

She was fine.

The thumping of her heart a painful beat in her chest, she gently closed the door. No-one was here, yet the uncomfortable feeling persisted. She decided to go downstairs, get herself a hot chocolate. And if she checked all the doors and windows were locked on the way to the kitchen, then that wasn’t paranoid, was it?