Kin (15 page)

David knew from past experiences that she wouldn't take this mission lightly. She'd find every recipe available that would be easy on his stomach, which was much appreciated—except that he'd then have to hear about where she found it, whose recipe box it originated from, and the life history of the person who gave it to her.

His father also gave him a concerned look at the table, while he and Mom ate fried haddock for supper and David had a plain omelet. “Did you eat a lot of spices when you went to India? Maybe that's what started your ulcer.”

“We ate tinned food mostly. Once a month they'd fly in steaks, but we had no refrigeration, so we'd eat it all at once. The first time someone put a rare steak on my plate I thought there was something wrong with it. Mom cooks hers to death.”

“Hardly to death, David. I prefer mine well done.”

“You like everything well done. When I cut into my fried egg and the yolk seeped out I didn't know what it was. The guys gave me a hard time for weeks.”

David could tell his mom wasn't pleased with him—she was known far and wide for her cooking—but he could tell Dad was enjoying the exchange. He made it up to Mom after dinner when he put his arms around her waist while she was washing the dishes and kissed her on the cheek.

“You're the best cook and the best mother in the world.”

“Remember that.”

David picked up the dishtowel and started to dry the dishes. “How's our Annie?”

“I think she's in love. She denies it, but her face glows when she talks about him.”

“Who's this bozo?”

“Henry Pratt. He's a doctor at the Glace Bay General and he's thirty.”

“He's a dirty old man! I'm going to have to speak to her.”

His mother took her hand out of the soapy water and poked him in the chest. “You'll do no such thing. He's good for her. Annie rides roughshod over anyone younger. Heaven knows I've seen my share of broken hearts in this house, but not one belonged to Annie, just the boys who tried to date her.”

David dried all the dishes and put them away. He sat with his parents for a bit, making small talk, and then said he was going to bed.

“Dad, can I borrow the car tomorrow? I thought I'd go out and visit Lila and the baby. I haven't seen them yet.”

“Sure.”

“Oh, Lila will be pleased,” his mom smiled. “That baby is adorable. I feel like a grandmother when I hold her.”

David wished them goodnight and took his broken heart up to bed. He lay awake for most of the night, rehearsing a thousand times what he would say to Lila, but he couldn't remember any of it in the morning.

The drive to Round Island was a blur, and he sat in the car outside the house for quite a while before he got out. When he knocked on the door, Eunie answered as expected, and was so pleased to see him. After giving him a big hug she took him by the arm and led him into her bedroom. There in a wooden crib was a little pink baby. She was sucking her thumb in her sleep. He couldn't see her clearly because his eyes filled with tears, but he kept his head down so Eunie wouldn't see.

“She's a little darling,” Aunt Eunie boasted. “She's so good to go to sleep, and hardly ever cries.”

“What's her name again?”

“Caroline Eunice,” Aunt Eunie said proudly. “Wasn't that thoughtful of Lila? I bless the day she came to live with us. She is our daughter in every way.”

David wanted to touch Caroline, but didn't dare. He didn't have the right. Not yet, anyway.

“Why don't you go up and see Lila?” Aunt Eunie said. “She gets so lonesome for company. I'm sure Caroline will be up from her nap before you leave. Wait until you hold her!”

David walked to the stairs like he was headed to the gallows. Eunie went ahead of him, opened the door, and called up the stairs. “Lila, there's someone to see you.”

This was it. He went up the stairs and stood at the top, then turned to look at her, propped up in bed. He was shocked by how small and frail she looked, dark circles under her eyes and such pronounced cheekbones. If she was doing better now, what state had she been in before? And it was all because of him.

She didn't say anything, just watched him stand there in his misery.

“What must you think of me?”

There was only silence.

“When I found out…it's my fault…all of it. I almost killed you. I don't know how to apologize for that other than to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I will regret my actions for the rest of my life, but just now I looked at Caroline and I can't believe that she wasn't meant to be. She's beautiful, Lila. She's as beautiful as you are and I love you both so much. You have to believe me. We can raise her together and watch her grow up. Please forgive me. Please.”

“Caroline isn't yours.”

The floor tilted and the ceiling came down to greet him. He put his hand out and grabbed the bookcase to stay steady. He tried to formulate a sentence but couldn't speak. The dizziness and nausea he'd become so familiar with rushed through his body, and he bent over to keep it down. Slowly he stood up again and tried to breathe calmly.

“I know you're upset with me, Lila, but don't do this. Don't keep Caroline away from me. We'll present a united front and tell our families the truth about us. Only then can we move forward.”

“You're not the father, David. We can't present a united front because there
is
no us. We were together once, and on the grass, no less. Is that a relationship? Neither of our families needs to know anything. You're going to live in Halifax and become a lawyer, and I'm going to stay here and raise my daughter. We'll see each other at the occasional family get-together.”

“You're lying.”

“I'm lying about what?”

“That child is mine. You're just trying to punish me.”

“Think what you like.”

David approached her bed. “You made me believe you wanted me at Christmas, and yet the whole time you were hiding the fact that you were having my baby. Do you know how I felt when I discovered everyone knew about it but me? I felt betrayed, Lila, like I'd been stabbed in the back. Not to mention the fact that you never told me about your bad heart. It's like everyone's been privy to your inner world but me.”

“Why should you be? Even if you love me to your dying day, I'm under no obligation to love you back.”

He shook his head. “Okay, you're doing a great job of making me suffer, and I deserve it. I get that. But this is me, Lila. I've loved you since the first day I saw you. I've wanted to marry you my whole life. I've waited for you my whole life. I declared my love for you before I left to join the air force. I kept your lock of hair with me overseas. When I came back we discussed our future plans…”

“
You
discussed our future plans, not me. You informed me that we would travel the world and come back to Round Island with our children in the summer. But you never asked me what I wanted or if I liked the idea of seeing the world and leaving my home. I'm happy here. I don't want to leave.”

“What are you so afraid of? This place isn't going to disappear the minute your back is turned.”

“You don't care what I think. It's what you want. You expected me to be here when you got back, as if I have no life other than you, as if I'm here waiting to be told what to do. I know I'm not the fighter Annie is, but I deserve respect.”

David was confused. “But you told me you loved me.”

“What do I know about love?”

He closed his eyes and tried to get his emotions under control. He didn't want to fall apart in front of her. “I'm sorry. Clearly I've been living in a fantasy world.”

Then he opened his eyes and stepped even closer to her. “But I know that child is mine. You can deny it forever, but I know she's mine. And the fact that you won't acknowledge her as such says more about you than it does about me. I hope you can live with yourself when she asks you some day who her daddy is.”

He turned around and walked down the stairs. Then he slipped into Eunie and Joe's bedroom and placed his hand on his daughter's back. “I love you, Caroline. Someday you'll know who I am.” He hurried into the kitchen, where Eunie had tea poured and a lemon loaf waiting to be sliced.

“Thought you might like a snack,” she smiled.

“I hate to disappoint you, but I really have to get back. I'm supposed to start a new job today and I've taken too much time as it is, but it's been wonderful to see you and Lila and Caroline. I'll be busy this summer, so I might not get out as often as I'd like, but I'm sure Mom will keep me informed on the baby front.”

“Are you sure you don't want…”

“Positive.” He hugged Aunt Eunie before she could say anything else and quickly left. She waved from the door.

“Goodbye, dear. Thanks for stopping in.”

David got in the car and drove to the bungalow. He unlocked it, went inside, and sat on the couch, trying to ignore the bile in his throat. His first thought was to leave for Halifax that day and get as far away as possible from Lila and the baby, but he knew he'd be miserable on his own, the campus empty of students during the summer. At that moment he needed his mother's food and her comfort and his dad's reassurance that he was a good person at heart and that he didn't mean to be such a loser and ruin everyone's life. And he needed his sister. Even if he couldn't tell her about Lila and the baby, he wanted to soak up her good cheer and to-hell-with-it attitude.

He was only twenty-one and already weary of life.

* * *

When David left her, Lila stayed very still. She knew Aunt Eunie would come up and ask why he had left so soon. Eunie soon did, in fact, bring up a tray with tea and a couple of slices of lemon loaf. She put it across Lila's lap.

“Here you are. It's too bad David couldn't stay, but he's starting a new job. He's such a nice boy, and he was obviously moved by our little angel. At one point I thought he was crying. Men are such babies.” She cocked an ear. “Is that Caroline?”

“I think so.”

“I'll get her bottle ready and you can feed her.”

“I'm really tired. I think I'll have a nap, and I can feed her at dinner.”

“Fine by me. Do you want me to take the tray away?”

“Please.”

Aunt Eunie grabbed the tray and went back downstairs. Lila turned towards the wall and buried her face in the pillow.

She was only eighteen and already weary of life.

Annie refused to meet Henry's mother for two and a half years. As far as Mrs. Pratt was concerned, Henry was a confirmed bachelor. Now that Annie was nearing her graduation from nursing school at the Glace Bay General, she let down her guard. Annie would never admit it to Henry, but she was conscious of the fact that if Henry's mother had met and hated her, it would have strained the relationship she had with Henry at the hospital. There was enough drama on the wards without a heated argument in the linen cupboard about what his mother did or didn't say.

She also knew that Henry was running out of patience.

“I was born in 1916. During the Great War! We've had a Second World War since then. Just how long do you think I can wait to start a family of my own?”

They sat together on a park bench near the hospital to quickly gulp down a sandwich during their fifteen minutes of free time.

Annie licked a dollop of tuna salad from her finger. “It's entirely your own fault. If you hadn't fallen madly in love with a young ingénue, you could at this very moment be sleeping with a wrinkly old woman in her thirties.”

“You are the antithesis of an ingénue, my love.”

“Do you want me to meet your mother or not?”

“Come to dinner on Saturday night. I'll pick you up at around seven.”

Annie made a face. “Seven? Are you aristocrats? Normal people eat at five.”

“I know my mother. When she finds out I'm bringing a girl home, she'll be beside herself. Expect at least six courses.”

“Oh, God.”

Henry wasn't the only one impatient for something to be decided or announced or at least given consideration. Annie's mom was bugging her to get engaged. That way no one else could steal Henry from under Annie's nose. But as Dad reminded Mom, if anyone attempted to do such a thing, Annie would release the hounds herself.

Annie was more nervous than she cared to admit about meeting Mrs. Pratt. From what Henry had told her, a lot of people withered in her presence. Grown men had been known to avoid her in the street. After trying on three different outfits, she settled for a sleeveless white and navy polka-dotted dress and wore a navy sweater over it in case the weather or Mrs. Pratt got chilly. She also wore heels instead of flats, just to make a point.

It was a nice spring evening and Henry showed up at six forty-five. Mom knocked on Annie's bedroom door to tell her he'd arrived.

“He looks nervous.”

“Does he?”

“That's always a good sign. It means he wants his mother to approve of you, and he's terrified that she won't.”

“I can't wait for this to be over.”

When Annie walked down the stairs, she thought Henry looked rather handsome with his grey pinstriped suit on. He'd shaved and smelled delicious, but he didn't even say hello, just waved her on so he could get her out the door in time. He barely acknowledged her parents in his haste. Annie saw them laughing as they shut the front door. It was all right for them. They got to stay home.

Annie knew where Henry lived, so the house wasn't a surprise. It was nicely maintained in a boring kind of way. She knew his mother planted her flowers in rows, and God help the weed that strayed into the mix.

“Now, don't be nervous.” Henry wiped away the sheen of sweat on his upper lip. She'd never seen him this rattled, not even while saving lives at the hospital. Who was this dragon lady?

Mrs. Pratt opened the door and clapped in delight before extending her hand to rush Annie through to the inner sanctum. “It's such a pleasure to meet you, my dear!” She proceeded to kiss both of Annie's cheeks and then hold onto her arms.

“Let me take a look at you! Aren't you the prettiest thing I've ever seen! She's so pretty, Henry! And oh my goodness, so tall! Look how tall you are! And so young!”

Henry's mother talked like there were exclamation points at the end of all her sentences. She scarcely stopped for breath. Annie couldn't get a word in, but she did manage to give the woman the box of chocolates she'd brought.

“Chocolates! I love chocolates! Don't I, Henry! Please make yourself at home! Henry, take Annie into the parlour, because I've made appetizers! Would you like a glass of cranberry cocktail or a stronger beverage!”

Annie was about to tell her when Mrs. Pratt waved her hands in the air. “I'll bring both!”

When she disappeared into the kitchen Annie looked at Henry, who was staring at his shoes.

“Six courses?”

After sampling the tangy cheese spread on crackers, chili sauce dip with celery and carrot sticks, hot chicken-bacon squares, a gourmet crab ring, and liverwurst pâté, Annie was full.

Then Mrs. Pratt, who asked Annie to call her by her given name, Joy, ushered them both into the formal dining room, which glowed with crystal and china. They dined on tomato consommé to start, and then a lettuce and tomato salad, after which the Swiss steak and garlic mashed potatoes smothered in gravy were produced, followed by the happy coincidence of Swiss chocolate cake with fudge icing, ending with a plate of various cheeses and fruit, if desired, with their tea or coffee.

Annie offered to help Joy with the dishes, which produced a hail of compliments.

“You can always tell a well-brought-up girl! Not that I would dream of letting you in the kitchen, but the thought is much appreciated! It's so rare these days to find a young woman like yourself! You've done well, Henry! For goodness' sake, don't let this angel get away!”

After ten minutes of farewells and pledges of undying love, Joy finally closed her front door. Henry was still staring at his shoes as they walked to the car. He opened the door for her and shut it once she was in. Then he got in the driver's side and closed the door behind him.

The silence was orgasmic.

Henry looked at her. “Will you marry me?”

“No.”

* * *

When David heard that Annie and Henry had eloped the day after her graduation, he was disappointed. Apparently his mother was too, but after meeting Joy, she quickly changed her mind. His father was thrilled. No bills, no worries, and no reception with Joy Pratt in the receiving line.

He hated to disappoint his dad, but he and Kay were having the biggest wedding Halifax had seen in a long time. Not that he had anything to do with the decision. It had taken on a life of its own the minute he proposed.

He survived the miserable summer of Lila's rejection by working twelve hours a day, seven days a week. Without even knowing it he put on weight, muscles even, with all the physical activity of pounding asphalt and digging gravel. His mother's ulcer diet brought him much-needed relief, and Annie's nonsense made him laugh when he didn't want to.

Some of his bitterness towards Lila dissipated over the summer, but not all of it. He kept it in check. If he dwelled on it, he'd feel his guts squirm, so he learned to put it on a shelf and ignore it.

School kept him busy. He had a very full course load; he wanted to shave a year off his undergraduate degree and go right into law school at King's as soon as he could. There wasn't much time for a social life, but at least he didn't need a part-time job after making good money all summer with the road crew.

Scott invited him along to a frat-house party that November. The place was jumping, and the smoke in the air was thick. Everyone was swing dancing to the big band sounds of Dizzy Gillespie, Artie Shaw, and Count Basie. It was pretty difficult to stay glum when that music filled the air. Scott immediately left him to go dance with a buxom blonde, so David wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a soda. He stayed on the edges of the group, watching all the fun.

That's when he saw Kay, sitting on a window seat and smoking a cigarette with a couple of fellows by her side. Her hair was combed away from her brow, with soft waves down to her shoulders. Her trademark red lipstick was the same colour as her sweater, and a string of pearls adorned her neck. David had no doubt they were real.

He stayed where he was and watched the guys do their damndest to get her up on the dance floor—or make her smile, laugh, or do anything—but she was content to ignore them. At one point she looked at him, but kept her eyes moving to scan the rest of the crowd. David wondered how long it would take her to realize it was him.

About three seconds.

She looked back at him and slowly smiled, but she didn't move. She took another drag of her cigarette. David put down his bottle and made his way across the room, moving this way and that to get past the laughing girls and drunken guys.

Eventually he stood in front of her and held out his hand. She dropped her cigarette in the drink of the guy on the right and took it. He pulled her up and held her close. While everyone around them did the jitterbug and the lindy hop, he and Kay swayed to their own music.

David didn't meet her parents until the next summer, a weekend getaway to their cottage near Lunenburg. David envisioned barbeques and maybe a bonfire if it was a nice night. Kay picked him up in her silver 1948 Cadillac convertible, honking the horn outside his apartment. Scott looked out the window and shook his head.

“You lucky bastard.”

Kay wore a scarf on her head to keep her hair from flying around and a pair of dark sunglasses. Her yellow, checkered shirt tied in the front and white Capris looked very summery, as did the espadrilles she wore on her feet. David threw his bag in the back and jumped into the passenger seat. Kay leaned over for her kiss.

“You look nice.”

“Thank you. Before we go, did you bring a suit?”

“A suit? I thought we were going to the cottage.”

“We are.”

“Then I don't need a suit.”

Kay shrugged. “Okay.”

The hour's drive along the coast was fun, especially in a convertible. With the wind rushing past, and trees and water flashing by, it felt like he was taxiing down a runway. Kay laughed at him when he put his arm out over the side of the car and pretended to fly. She did the same thing. They soared along the highway together.

“Do you have a cottage?” she shouted against the sound of the wind.

“We have a bungalow. I love it, outhouse and all. I'm sure yours will be a whole lot fancier, judging by your place in the city.”

David had seen the Hanover mansion from the outside, but had never gone in. Kay lived in a great apartment near campus and that's where they spent most of their time.

Finally, Kay put on the car's blinker and pulled into a paved driveway in the middle of nowhere. That was David's first clue: It wasn't a dirt road. Then they passed the iron gates and continued on down the landscaped drive until the final clearing, where there was an enormous, rambling house with a circled drive at the front. There must have been twenty cars parked here and there and someone who looked like a bellhop organizing luggage for the guests.

Kay laughed and laughed when she saw the look on his face. “Don't have a heart attack. It's just a bigger cottage with indoor plumbing.”

David wished he had brought his suit.

He was given his own room to freshen up, and Kay said she'd meet him down by the pool. David went over to the window and peeked out. There were a lot of people there already, including Kay's mother, lounging in a chair with a two-piece bathing suit on. He tried to imagine his own mother in a two-piece suit, but the thought was ludicrous. Mom would go down to the beach in a rubber bathing cap with flowers on it, and the same old one-piece suit she'd had since he could remember. There she'd splash the water around as she stood up to her knees and quickly run back to her towel five minutes later, declaring it a great swim.

David cupped water on his face and washed his hands. A quick brush through his hair and he was ready to face the mob. The only thing on his mind was what he'd wear for dinner.

He ran into several people on his way to the pool, but hadn't a clue who they were. Everyone smiled and nodded, but they kept moving. Finding a way out to the pool proved a bit of a challenge, but in the end he found the French doors leading out to an enormous patio. Kay spotted him immediately and rushed over to put her arm through his. “Come meet Daddy.”

They went over to the bar area, where Mr. Hanover was swilling back a drink, his ever-present cigar in his hand.

“Daddy, this is David Macdonald. David, this is my father Louis Hanover.”

“A pleasure to meet you, sir.” David held out his hand.

Louis put the cigar in his mouth and shook David's hand. “Well, well. So this is the young man my Kay thinks so highly of. You must be special. She's never brought anyone home before.”

“Daddy, don't go telling him that. He'll be impossible now.” Kay squeezed him.

Louis was an impressive man, big through the chest and quite tall, but up close David could see the broken veins in his slightly red, bulbous nose and the deep lines around his mouth. He looked tired and much older than David's own father.

“I'll ask all the essential questions. Where are you from and what do you do?”

“I'm from Glace Bay…”

“Coal mining. Is your father a miner?”

“No, sir. He owns a machine shop.”

“A man who works with his hands. I admire men like that. What do you do?”

“I'm going to King's for my law degree.”

“So you're bright. I'm impressed, Kay. Play your cards right, young man, and I may be able to throw a few job opportunities your way.”

David was about to thank him, but Louis turned back towards the bar and signalled for the bartender to fill up his glass. Another man approached and Louis greeted him with great cheer. David's interview was over.

“Now for the hard part.” Kay pulled him towards her mother, who was still holding court in her lounge chair.

“Mother, this is David Macdonald, the boy I told you about. David, this is my mother, Virginia.”