King 02 - Breathless (19 page)

She smiled slightly. “You’re jumping ahead of the story, Tasmyn, and nothing will make any sense if you do that. What I had you read last week was a good foundation. You’re now at the point that I was when I was—oh, well, slightly younger than you are. I grew up surrounded by this history, by the everyday practice of the vrajitorie. It was part of us, as natural as breathing.

“I was particularly gifted. I don’t say that with pride; it was just as I said, a gift. The power flowed from me without effort. I was a favorite of all the elder women for that very reason. They took special care of me and gave me particular training and teaching.”

I could almost see it in my mind, the way she was describing it and the words from the book meshing to form a clear picture. Her mood had shifted to one of fond reminiscence, and a sad smile played about her lips.

“Of course, to what end was I taught? I would grow up to be like the rest of my family, shunned from much of mainstream society where I might have had a fuller life, an education. But the elders taught me so that when I had my daughter, I would teach her. There was a seer amongst us—we called her the
ghicitor
—and she said I would one day have a very powerful daughter who would be the culmination of all those generations of teaching and practicing. She would be widely known, and her power would be—it would be untouchable.”

A memory stirred in me just then. I could hear Amber’s voice last fall, as we sat in Marly and Luke’s living room on that surreal night, after Michael and I had stopped Nell from killing her. Still somewhat in shock, Amber had told us about the relationship between Nell and Ms. Lacusta. She had described the words the teacher had used to convince all the girls in the so-called chemistry club that what they were doing was destined.

“…
she told us we could be unstoppable. She said that we were all her daughters, that she had foreseen that she would come to this place, which was a mystical spot, and that she would pass on her secrets to us...”

“But you used that.” I kept my voice low and as even as I could manage. “You used that knowledge, or whatever you want to call it, to lure Nell to you. You played on what you knew was a weakness—you had to have known about it.”

She was already shaking her head before I finished speaking. “No. I never used them. I might have been mistaken—rushed in too fast before I was certain—but I never intentionally set out to—”

“It doesn’t matter what you meant to do. What you did destroyed a young girl’s life, and it could have been much, much worse. What if Nell had actually killed Amber, or Michael and me? How would you have justified that?” I stood up and moved toward the door. My heart was pounding.

“Tasmyn, come back here. Sit down. We’re not finished yet for today. And if you leave now, I will have no choice but to report you to the office.”

“Oh, really?” I didn’t mean to taunt her, but the words had that effect. “And how will you do that, when officially I’m not even in class with you right now?”

“Trust me.” Her voice had dropped and was low and dangerous, her accent more pronounced. “I would find a way. I can be very persuasive.”

I believed it. Bleakly I dropped into the nearest seat, farther away from Ms. Lacusta’s desk than where I had been sitting.

“I understand that you’re upset, Tasmyn, but we really must get through the next part of the story. It’s very important.”

I didn’t answer, just gazed at her steadily. Interestingly, I didn’t feel anything ominous or dangerous about her mood; instead, she felt guarded and apprehensive. I wondered if she were in fact more sensitive about the whole Nell situation than she let on.

“As I said, there was great hope that my daughter would be very powerful. I knew this from the time I was a small child. But in my teen years… I was like any other girl. I was rebellious. My mother had died when I was ten, but my aunts, the other elders, they tried to take special care of me. However, as I just told you, I can be very persuasive. Some might call it manipulative. I was able to invent ways to get around their rules. I used my power in some rather questionable ways.”

Her voice was sad and pensive, and she gazed at the wall above my head, lost in the memory.

“And it was only a matter of time before the inevitable happened. Like many other girls of my age, of my people, I found myself pregnant. The father doesn’t matter. He was useless, a boy who was there at the right time—or the wrong time, depending on your point of view. I was triumphant when I knew I was going to have a baby, because I knew this baby was what the
ghicitor
had seen. I presented myself to the elders and told them. I was prepared for them to fawn and dote on me.

“But it didn’t happen that way. They were angry. Beside themselves. The
ghicitor
said she couldn’t see clearly that this would be the child. I had rushed ahead, gone ahead of the power, of my destiny, and perhaps I had ruined everything. But they would wait and see.”

I found myself captivated by her story in spite of myself. Ms. Lacusta couldn’t have been much older than me when this happened. I couldn’t even imagine being pregnant at my age, let alone being happy about it. And I wondered with a twinge where her baby was now. I had never heard anything about Ms. Lacusta having a child.

“I was nearly eight months pregnant when the pains began. It was far too early, and the pain was... it was horrendous. Not what the elders had been preparing me to expect. We lived a long way from any medical facilities—our women were always delivered by our own midwives. I don’t remember much of those days, but the pain seemed endless, and they told me later that I nearly bled to death. Luckily, a local doctor was passing through and was able to save my life, although it came at a high price.

“When I awoke, I was very weak. I asked immediately for my baby, but I could tell by the expressions of the women around me what had happened. She had been born dead, and she had nearly taken my life in the process. What the doctor had had to do to save my life meant that I would never have a child.”

Although Ms. Lacusta’s words and her tone were matter of fact, I could feel the palpable grief emanating from her. Tears filled my eyes, and I struggled to blink them back as she continued.

“It was devastating to all of us. To me, certainly; the grief of losing a child, even one you’ve never known, is nothing that anyone can imagine or describe. And to know that I would never have another chance to be a mother was one more blow. The elders... they were heartbroken, too. For them it was not only a child but the hope of that child... all those years of trusting and believing, and for what? Nothing left but ashes of that dream.”

I found my voice at last. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Lacusta. I had no idea.”

She looked back at me then, seeming almost surprised to see me in the room. “Well, how could you know? This is something I never shared with anyone, not even Nell.” She looked at me pointedly.

“I
am
sorry for you. But I still don’t understand what it has to do with me.”

She smiled, widely, and the atmosphere in the room changed again. The grief was gone, and in its place was a speculative hope.

“That, my dear Tasmyn, will have to wait until next week. The bell is about to ring, and I think we’ve both had enough for today. Think about what I’ve said, please. We’ll meet here again, next Monday.” With that she turned from me. Evidently I was dismissed.

I left the classroom shaken and wondering. I had seen a side of Ms. Lacusta that I never suspected. But how much of it could I trust? I was still no closer to any answers.

Sighing, I went to lunch.

It was a quiet week, blessedly so. I went to school, worked at the nursery and did my homework each evening. The routine was easy and welcome, and I appreciated the break from all the drama and tension that had surrounded me for the past few weeks. My sleep was deep and uninterrupted by any dreams that I could remember in the morning. Cara had begun talking to Amber and me at the lunch table again on Monday, her thaw unexplained. I listened to her mind cautiously, but she was mainly preoccupied with schoolwork and things going on at church. She still harbored a little resentment toward me, but it was nothing she showed openly.

I saw Rafe now and then in passing. He would lift a hand in quick greeting when we passed between classes, and he joined us at the end of lunch one day, but he kept his promise to me. His manner was friendly without being flirtatious, although his thoughts were not in line quite the same way. Those I could ignore.

The only worry of my entire week came from Michael. He was preoccupied and almost absentminded during our nightly talks. I knew he was feeling guilty about missing my birthday on Friday that week. Before he left for college, we had talked about him coming home to celebrate with me that weekend, but when his classes began, it turned out that he had a huge exam on that Monday after my birthday. I was disappointed, but I knew that the drive back and forth over the weekend would keep him from studying—and that while we were together, neither of us would want to concentrate on anything but each other. So I had worked hard at keeping a cheerful tone in my voice when I mentioned my birthday; the last thing I wanted was for him to feel torn about his decision.

But still… I worried when he kept our conversations vague and short. I was concerned enough to mention it to Marly on Wednesday.

“Oh, no, Tasmyn, I just think he’s busy getting ready for this test,” she assured me. But then I felt a quick flash of something in her mood—was it guilt? Or worry? Before I could probe further, a loud humming filled my mind. It was coming from Marly.

“Marly, are you… humming in your mind?” I asked her suspiciously.

“What? Oh, sorry. I’ve had this song in my head all day, and it just won’t go away…”

I wasn’t exactly excited about my upcoming birthday, but I was trying to be upbeat. Marly insisted on giving me the day off, and she and Luke were joining my parents and me for dinner at our house that evening. My mother was baking my favorite double chocolate cake.

That morning at breakfast, both my parents were seated at the table, beaming at me. It was much too early for that much cheer, I decided grimly, regardless of how special a day it might be.

My mother had the table set—unusual in itself—and there was a small, wrapped box at my place. I looked at it in surprise.

“I thought my cell phone was my birthday gift,” I said.

“Oh, it is, but this is just a little something. You don’t turn eighteen every day, after all.” My mother smiled widely.

I sat down and sipped my juice, eying the gift speculatively.

“Well, go ahead, open it,” my father encouraged.

I tore at the paper, revealing a worn blue velvet box. It looked vaguely familiar. I opened it, and tears filled my eyes. Inside was a perfectly matched strand of pearls, with an antique sheen to them.

“Nana’s pearls!” I exclaimed. “Really? Oh…” In my memory, I could see her, dressed for church or for any special occasion, wearing the pearls my grandfather had purchased for their first wedding anniversary.

“She always wanted you to have them,” my mother said, dabbing at her eyes. “I’ve kept them set aside for this special birthday. I wish she could be here herself to give them to you.”

“Me, too,” I sniffled. “But thank you. This is the most perfect gift you could have given me.” Standing, I leaned to hug them both. “And wouldn’t you like to top that by giving me today off from school? We could all just hang out together and enjoy my big day…” I looked at them hopefully, and my father laughed.

“Nice try, but I don’t think so. I’m heading to work now anyway. And we wouldn’t want to rob your friends of the opportunity to celebrate with you, right? Amber would be really disappointed.”

I made face. It was hard for Amber to keep a secret around me, since she seemed to think it extra loud whenever I was near. I knew she had planned to bring in a plate of brownies and make a fuss at lunch. I really was not the make a fuss type, but I wouldn’t hurt Amber for the world.

“Okay…” I sighed.

The day actually was fun. Amber and Cara had decorated my locker, and they met me there with smiles. Rafe passed us and slowed to see what we were doing.