King 02 - Breathless (21 page)

The sun woke me the next morning, streaming in through the blinds I had left opened. I squinted in annoyed confusion at my clock and groaned when I saw that it read 7:00.

“Why on earth am I awake at seven on a Saturday?” I muttered, burying my face in the pillow again. And then my mind woke up a little more, and with a sudden burst of energy, I jumped out of bed. Michael was home! He would be here in… I checked the clock again. Less than fifty-six minutes. Humming lightly to myself, I skipped to the closet and flipped through several outfits before I decided on shorts and a simple t-shirt. I wasn’t sure what Michael had planned for the day, but I figured it wouldn’t be anything that required formal wear.

As I stood before the mirror messing with makeup, I felt a few butterflies in my stomach. Last night, as I lay in bed basking in the afterglow of my wonderful birthday evening, I had come to a decision. I couldn’t keep any secrets from Michael. I had been half-planning to share everything with him over homecoming weekend, but seeing him now, I knew I couldn’t wait. I remembered how worried I had been this week when he had seemed remote, and I wondered how often I had sounded the same way when I was keeping something from him. It wasn’t fair, and it would create a distance between us. I knew I couldn’t bear that.

At 7:56, I heard a light knock at the front door and dashed to answer it. Michael was standing there, leaning casually against the porch railing. He was wearing jeans, a light blue Perriman t-shirt and the slow smile that was only ever for me.

I didn’t even hesitate. I launched myself toward him and nearly knocked him off the porch.

“Whoa!” Michael was laughing even as he caught me and pulled me tight. “Now that’s a ‘good morning’ I can live with.” He touched my lips lightly with his and rubbed my back.

I stood on my toes and twined my arms around his neck. “Is that the best you can do after I got up early on a Saturday morning?”

Michael laughed softly. “Maybe I can try a little better...” This time the kiss was deeper and longer, and by the end, he was holding me up.

“Okay,” I gasped. “That’s worth it.” I stepped back, still holding his hand. “So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

“It’s your day. You tell me. Do you want to go for a drive, hang out at the lake or… what?”

I thought for a moment. “Can we go to the nursery and have a picnic at our spot?”

He raised one eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to go the nursery on your day off? I’d think you’d be tired of the place by now.”

“Never,” I declared. “I love the nursery. It has too many happy memories for me to ever get tired of being there. Besides, then you can see your parents, too. They miss you. And maybe we can make them dinner tonight.”

“Just like old times, huh?” he teased, bringing our joined hands to his lips and kissing my knuckles. “Okay. And has anyone told you lately what a great girlfriend you are?”

“Not lately.” I tried to ignore the small twinge of guilt. “Let me just grab my bag, and I’ll be ready to go.”

“Okay.” Michael followed me into the house. “I hope I didn’t wake up your mom and dad.”

“You didn’t.” My mother appeared in the kitchen doorway. “I was up early working. I didn’t accomplish a thing yesterday with all the birthday fun.” She sipped the mug of coffee in her hands. “You two heading out?”

I gave my mom a quick rundown of our plans and kissed her on the cheek. “See you tonight! I have my phone if you need me.”

Michael followed me down the walk and nearly ran into me when I stopped abruptly. “Do you want to take the Mustang?” I asked. “You know, check her out, make sure I’m treating her right?”

Michael gazed at the car fondly. “Would you mind? I mean, my school car is fine…” he indicated the dark blue generic compact sitting at the curb. “But I have missed driving my best girl.” When I rolled my eyes, he hastily corrected, “I mean, my favorite girl
car
.”

“Whatever!” I said, affecting offense. “Come on, she’s gassed up and ready to go.”

We put the top down, and Michael climbed into the driver’s seat. He ran his hand lovingly over the steering wheel, and I was pretty sure I heard him crooning.

“I’m beginning to think you really came home to see the car instead of me.”

He eased out of the driveway and down the silent street. “Don’t be jealous. I love you, too.”

I sniffed in mock disbelief, then laid my head back against the seat and let the wind blow through my hair. Michael switched on the radio, muttered something about my taste in music and changed it to his favorite oldies station.

Relaxing, my guard dropped, and I smiled as I heard Michael clearly.
Ah, so good to be back home… driving my car and being with Tas… a perfect day.

Without opening my eyes, I answered him. “It
is
a perfect day.” I heard him laugh.

I missed that. I missed you.

“I missed you, too.” My throat tightened, and I berated myself.
Don’t cry while he’s here. Be strong. Enjoy this.

His hand found mine, and we drove the rest of the way in relative silence; although I heard him thinking, I didn’t reply. I just enjoyed the intimacy of being so close to him again.

At the nursery, Marly half-heartedly scolded us for not taking advantage of a day away before she hugged me and whispered, “Thank you.” We spent most of the morning doing Michael’s laundry while we watched a movie.

I packed a lunch at noon, and we made our way around the nursery, through the evergreens. I fingered a few needled branches as we passed.

“Kind of sad to think that in a few months, most of these will be cut down and standing in someone’s living room,” I commented.

“Yeah… that’s why they’re grown, though.”

I frowned. “That’s even sadder. They’re doomed from the start.” I flashed to Nell, thinking about her destiny. How much had been her choice? How much had Ms. Lacusta’s influence changed her path? I sighed heavily.

Michael slung an arm around my shoulders and drew me close as we walked. “Hey, don’t be sad. I’ll tell you what. When we’re married and have Christmas trees, we’ll always buy live ones and replant them after the holidays. Okay?”

I shot him a quick glance and nodded. Although Michael always spoke easily of our future together, he’d never mentioned marriage or anything so specific. It made my head spin, and those nerves in my stomach kicked up again. I had decided to come clean to him over lunch, and I was terrified that my secretiveness might change how he felt about me.

We spread the blanket in the grassy clearing just beyond the evergreen field. Michael dug into the sandwiches with gusto, but I only picked at mine. He looked at me with concern.

“You’re not eating. What’s up?”

I twisted my napkin in my two hands. “Michael, I need to talk to you about... some stuff.”

I could feel and hear his concern ratchet up several notches.
What’s going on? Is it… is she not happy that I’m here? Has something changed?

“How can you think that?” I answered his unspoken words. “Can’t you tell how thrilled I was to see you last night? And this morning? It feels as though I’ve only been half-living since you left, and now I’m suddenly alive again.”

Michael reached out to touch my face. “Remember I can’t hear your mind. I’d like to believe I can read you pretty well, but I know… some of it might be wishful thinking.”

I turned my face so that my lips were buried in his palm, still resting against my cheek. “It’s not wishful thinking. You
do
know me. But…” I drew in a deep, fortifying breath. “I haven’t been completely… open about everything since you left.”

Michael leaned back and studied me carefully. “Okay. I’m listening.” His mind was jumping to so many conclusions at once that I had trouble concentrating. I focused on what I had to say and closed myself off from his thoughts as much as I could bear. Haltingly at first, and then with greater momentum, I poured out everything that had happened, from Ms. Lacusta’s thinly veiled threats, to my troubling encounters with Rafe Brooks, to my latest Nell dream.

He was silent as I spoke. When at last my voice dwindled, I lowered my guard and cautiously listened to what he was thinking.

She’s risked so much. That woman won’t stop at anything. She wants something from Tas… what is it? And this Brooks guy—what’s his deal? I can’t believe she kept all of this from me. Why wouldn’t she trust me?

Tears filled me eyes. “I do trust you,” I whispered. “I just didn’t want to burden you with something else when you’re trying to adjust to college. And what could you do? Ms. Lacusta has all the cards here. I’m not being stupid about it. I’m handling it the best way I know how, so no one gets hurt.

“And Rafe… I don’t think he means any harm. He’s lonely and looking for something. I’ve been very clear with him that I’m not interested in anything but friendship. He’s been better.”

Michael shifted on the blanket and stretched out his legs. “When I left for college, I knew that there were going to be guys who’d try to take advantage of me being gone. You never saw how they looked at you—but I did. I didn’t worry about it because I know I can trust you, that I can trust what we have together. And I’m still not worried about that. I’m more concerned about whatever it is that this Rafe can do, and how he might try to manipulate you. And Tas—you think he
kissed
you? Yeah, I admit I’d like a few minutes alone with him. If that makes me the stereotype of a possessive boyfriend—well, you’ll have to deal with it.”

I didn’t answer immediately. I gauged Michael’s feelings, and while I was relieved that there wasn’t any real anger toward me—maybe just a tiny bit of mad, mixed with the main fury aimed in Rafe’s direction—I could feel his hurt that I had shut him out. I hated that.

Fighting back tears of distress, I moved over to kneel next to Michael. I held his face in my hands and spoke slowly and emphatically.

“I’m sorry. Michael, I don’t know why... I kept telling myself that I was doing it for your own good. To protect you. To prove that I can handle stuff myself. But there was part of me that knew the truth the whole time.”

Although his eyes were still clouded, he covered my hand with his, pressing it closer to his cheek. He drew in a deep breath and looked at me steadily.

“So what’s the truth, Tas?”

I frowned, not sure how to answer. “I’m not sure. For some reason... I knew how you felt about the whole deal with Ms. Lacusta. I knew you were right, on some level. But another part of me wanted to see what was going to happen. Ms. Lacusta played a big part in the whole situation with Nell and Amber. She was never held accountable for any of that.

“And maybe I was a little curious, too. It almost seemed like she had Nell and her friends in some kind of spell. I wanted to know why—how—and I wanted to know what she wanted from
me
.”

Michael dropped his hand and slowly lowered himself to the blanket. I could hear him processing all the information I had just shared, and so I sat still, waiting patiently until he reached some sort of conclusion. As always, I was impressed with his analytical powers; none of the hurt was informing his thought process.

Finally, he raised his head to look at me. He lifted his hand to tangle it in my hair.

So beautiful. It’s still amazing to me that she belongs to me. That she chooses to belong to me. I don’t like that she’s spending this time with Ms. Lacusta. She’s exposing herself to something we don’t understand. It makes me crazy to think about her being in danger. But… I can’t tell her what to do. I don’t want to. I want her to trust that she can tell me something without me freaking out.

I leaned down against his chest, lying so that my face was very close to his. “Michael. I do trust you. I made a mistake. Please forgive me. I don’t want you to worry. I want you to have faith in me.”

He smiled. “I do have faith in you. I just want to protect you all the time, from anything that might hurt you in any way. And now I’m too far away to do that. You don’t know how crazy it makes me.”

I kissed him softly. “I always feel safe when I’m with you. But I have to take care of myself, too. I’ve got to grow and take some chances, too, just like you do.”

“I get that.” He rubbed my back in slow circles and lifted his head just enough to meet my lips. I shifted to deepen the kiss. My heart slammed against my ribs as his hands moved up to the back of my head, holding me against him as his lips parted. When I pulled away just long enough to gasp in a breath, Michael flipped me over onto my back and balanced his weight on his elbows even as he held my face in his hands and his lips covered mine again. I circled my arms around his back and held him to me tightly, trying to pull him even closer.

He broke away briefly to move his lips down my throat. I tilted my head to give him better access. I heard him breathe deeply and then he brought his mouth close to my ear.

“No one smells like you,” he whispered. “Do you know, the first week at school, I kept the shirt I’d worn that last night in a drawer, and when I missed you so much it hurt, I’d take it out and sniff it… smell you. Remember you. When the scent faded, I felt almost like I’d just left you again.”