King 02 - Breathless (4 page)

“How was everything down at the shop?” Anne asked Lela.

“Fine. Everyone who works for my parents is wonderful, and they had taken care of it all. I just had to shut down and lock up.”

They launched into a conversation then about family owned businesses, which I attempted to follow for a few moments before my mind wandered again. The house felt so empty without Michael and his parents. I wondered how their trip north had gone and whether they had arrived safely at the college.

Suddenly I realized that talk at the table had stopped, and both Anne and Lela were looking at me.

We’ve got to do a better job of keeping her distracted. She just needs to get over this initial bump, then she’ll be okay… I hope…
Lela’s expression matched her thoughts.

“Tas, you’re not eating,” Anne chided. “You’re just moving the food around your plate.”

“I’m not that hungry,” I mumbled, looking down, concentrating on blocking her anxious thoughts.

“I got soup, too, just in case. Why don’t you try some of that?”

I managed to get some of the soup down, which seemed to satisfy them temporarily. After I’d had a few spoonfuls, I turned to Lela.

“I wonder why we haven’t heard from Michael and your parents?” I tried to keep my tone even.

Lela smiled. “They called this afternoon, while you were asleep.”

Panic and outrage at the idea that I’d missed Michael’s call—that Lela had
allowed
me to sleep through it—coursed through me and must have shown on my face.

“I tried to wake you up, but you were out cold. And then Michael said if you were sleeping that hard, you probably needed it. They have some kind of social tonight at the college, and he said if it ended early enough, he’d call. If not, he’ll talk to you in the morning.”

I nodded, unable to speak for the lump in my throat. Anne leaned over and laid her hand on my arm.

“Tasmyn, you can’t do this. You can’t shut yourself down and stop—well, stop
being
just because Michael’s gone away to school. I know it’s the first day, and we’re trying to give you some space to get used to it. But you can’t wallow in it. You’ve got to make up your mind to be all right.”

If only it were that easy, I thought. But I forced another smile and ate more of my soup.

Michael didn’t call that night. I slept upstairs in his bedroom, the first time I’d ever spent the night in the spacious loft that was his. I kept my cell phone—a recent gift from my parents in anticipation of my eighteenth birthday—held tightly in my hand, confident that the vibration would wake me up if I dozed.

When I opened my eyes, light was flooding the room through the skylights, and my telephone clock read 7:22 AM. There were no missed calls. I was disappointed that he hadn’t called, but at the same time, I understood that he was probably kept busy by all the transition programs the college had in place for incoming freshmen. I couldn’t expect him to be checking on me every little while.

But part of me wished he would.

I was determined that today would be different. No more coddling from Lela and Anne. I had my job to do down at the nursery, and I wouldn’t let Marly and Luke down by cowering in their house again today, no matter how numb and empty I still felt. I dressed and slipped downstairs, looking for Lela. A note on the kitchen table informed me that she was already down at the shop and that Anne had left early for a shift at the salon.

I felt a twinge of guilt. I knew that my lack of enthusiasm last night had put a damper on the slumber party they had planned to cheer me up, but I simply hadn’t been able to join in the fun with any real gusto. Anne and Lela had been watching a sappy movie when I pleaded fatigue and slipped upstairs to wait for Michael’s call. As they were both up and out early, I guessed that they hadn’t stayed up too much later than I had.

The air outside the cabin was heavy and damp. The sun filtered through the towering pines as I crunched down the path into the open lot that was the center of the nursery. When I opened the back door to the shop, Lela looked up from papers she was scanning.

“Hey! Good morning. Glad to see you up and out today.”

I grabbed a green apron from the nearby hook and pulled it over my head.

“Yep. Up and out,” I answered. Her thoughts were still loud enough today that I had to really work to block them.

“Did you end up talking with Michael last night?” she inquired.

I smothered a sigh of pain as my throat tightened again. “No. I guess they were out too late.”

Lela smiled and stood to give me a quick reassuring hug. “Don’t worry. He’ll call today. He was just as anxious to talk to you as you are to him. Remember, this is tough on him, too.”

I did know that, but Lela’s words struck home as I tried to keep in mind that Michael was coping with different places and people. At least I had the security of my home, the nursery, my parents and my friends. I vowed to focus more on his needs than my own hurting soul when we did talk.

The morning dragged. There was a fairly steady flow of customers, thanks to the “End of the Season” sale that Sawood was running at the moment. I had to laugh at that idea. In reality, summer would linger for at least two more months here in central Florida. But Luke had pointed out to me last spring that people needed the ebb and flow of seasons to mark time, even when the weather didn’t exactly cooperate.

I kept my cell phone safely in the pocket of my apron, where its heaviness knocked gently against my legs as I moved. Work kept me busy, even if my mind never really engaged completely.

Finally, right before lunch, I felt the familiar vibration of an incoming call. I fumbled to pull out the phone, and my heart sang when I saw Michael’s name on the screen.

Fortunately, Lela was at the counter, and when she saw my face, she laughingly waved me outside and took over the sale I’d been ringing up.

My finger shook as I pressed the send button. My heart was thudding painfully.

“Hello?” I called breathlessly. “Michael?”

“Tas! I thought you weren’t going to pick up. I was afraid I wasn’t going to get to talk to you.”

For the first time in days, a genuine smile stretched my lips. “No, I’m here. I just couldn’t get the phone answered fast enough.” I paused, not sure of what to say next. “I’m down at the shop, working.” It seemed somehow important to assure him that I was doing my duty.

“Oh…” His voice was unsure. “Is it… are you okay to talk then?”

“Oh, yeah, Lela took over for me. I’m outside.” I looked around me, wanting him to picture exactly where I stood. “I’m just in the back of the nursery shop, looking up the path toward the cabin.”

“I can see it,” he laughed, and suddenly I was reassured. He knew what I meant. We hadn’t lost that connection.

“What are you doing?” I asked. It seemed important for me to imagine where he was, too.

“I’m outside of one of the classroom buildings. We had meetings this morning, all kinds of really boring stuff. My parents had other info talks they had to go to, so we planned to meet out here. Mine ended early. They should be here in a few minutes. But I wanted a chance to talk to you by myself.”

Warmed, that frozen part of my soul began to melt. “Tell me what it looks like. Do you like the campus?”

“Yeah, I think I do. It’s a little overwhelming at first, kind of big, and I know I’ll be getting lost all the time for a while. But it seems like people are friendly. I’ve met some of my classmates and a few professors. We move into the dorms tomorrow, and then my parents will leave the next day, I guess.”

“Did you meet your roommate yet?”

“Yeah, he seems okay. Listen, I’ll tell you all about this stuff later. What I want to know is, are
you
all right? Lela said you were sleeping yesterday when I called. I about died, I wanted to talk to you so much.”

“Really? You did?” It wasn’t right to be so thrilled about his pain, but on the other hand, it made me feel less alone.

“Tas, of course I did! What are you thinking? When we pulled out yesterday morning… holy crap. I can’t tell you how close I came to telling my dad to turn around, to just not go. I don’t think I said a word to my parents for the first two hours.”

I wondered how much Lela had shared with him about my reaction yesterday.

“It was the hardest day I’ve ever had,” I told him. “Including all my first days at all those schools. And even worse than the day Nell… the day with Nell.” It was still difficult for me to talk about her.

Michael was quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry. Maybe… I’m starting to wonder if this was a mistake. I should I have stayed closer to home.”

I frowned. “I thought you liked the school.”

“I do. But I hate being here away from you, and I hate knowing that you’re hurting, too.”

I swallowed hard and summoned up the last vestiges of my courage. “Michael, you know you have to stay. It’s what we decided. You want to be there. I’ll be fine, and so will you. We’ll help each other be strong, okay?”

I heard a soft laugh on the other end. “And here I was calling to cheer you up. I didn’t realize how much I missed you until I heard your voice. You know if you asked me now, I’d be home tonight.”

“And that’s why I can tell you to stay. If it were just me here being all pathetic and lonely, I’d be begging you to come home. But knowing that we’re both miserable gives me the strength to say you need to stay at school. Does that make any sense?”

“I guess we have to take turns being strong,” Michael observed.

“What happens if we hit a day when we’re both weak?” I teased him.

“Then… you’ll be seeing me sooner than you expect. But not today. Today you’ve talked me down.”

“Next time it’ll be you convincing me. Only I’ll probably be much more pathetic,” I sighed.

“Hey, are you saying I sound pathetic?”

I giggled, and it felt good to laugh with him. “Not at all. You sounded sweet and worried about me. Very strong and manly.”

It was Michael’s turn to laugh. “Oh, sure, I believe you. I’ll admit I was
feeling
pretty pathetic until I talked to you. I kept thinking…” He lowered his voice. “I kept thinking about the other night, and wondering if I was crazy to stop us.”

Alone on the path among the trees, I blushed, remembering. “No, you were right. It would be even harder now, if we had—if you hadn’t. I’m sorry I put us in that situation.”

“Believe me, Tas, I don’t blame you—I don’t even think—ahh.” Even across the miles I could hear his frustration. “Here come my parents. Listen, I’m going to go for now, but I’ll call you back later, probably tonight. You’re still staying out with Lela?”

“Yes, I’ll stay until your parents get home. She’s been so sweet to me, and very patient. Give Marly and Luke my love.”

“I will. Remember how much I love you. Stay strong.”