KING (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (31 page)

“We have enough of that,” I say in distaste and feel bad for the judgment. “I love Restraint, but sometimes the chaos makes me
feel crazed. I want something that is more
me
.”

“And who are you
, Daniel?” Dalton whispers the question that I’ve been asking myself for months. Until recently, I didn’t even know what type of clothing I liked. I’ve been exploring myself.

Dalton’s penetrating gaze heats the side of my face. He’s willing me to look at him, but m
y irrational fear keeps me from giving into his silent demand.

“I’m a gentleman,” I say with a smirk. Dalton heartily laughs
, and my dimples dent in response. “It’s what you all call me, isn’t it?”

“It is,” he snorts, eyes glittering in the neon lights from French Kissed Kink.

“I want a comfortable atmosphere. Alt is place where the likeminded meet, not to screw, but to connect. If they want seedy, they can go somewhere else. I envision leather sofas and chairs, coffee tables, and small dinette sets. I was thinking a cigar lounge, perhaps, and maybe a small liquor and coffee bar for those with expensive tastes.”

“That sounds like you,” Dalton’s
pleasant tone holds pride and it makes me hopeful.

“It does, doesn’t it?” I’m
extremely pleased that he sees my vision. “I just want a place where the moment you cross the threshold, you’re safe. You leave the bigotry, sexism, judgment, and violence out on the street. Alt isn’t for profit, it’s for my sanity.”

“Alt?”

“Alt
stands for alternative, or rather, alternative lifestyle. Alt’s patrons will come here to meet genuine people. If they want to hook up, it will have to be discreet. That’s not what this is about. I want a civilized environment for gays, lesbians, and bisexuals to connect without sexual connotations. If they connect after, that’s fine. But they can come in and sit down, listen to music and read a book or chat and have a drink.”

We both stare at the façade of the building, envisioning what it will transform into. I hope that Dalton understands my vision. I want him to be my partner in this- I want him to be my partner in life, but I fear his answer.

“I don’t care what sexual orientation or sex the person is as long as they are courteous and pleasant. I thought it would be a good place to take a date- quiet, where you could get to know one another without worrying that someone else will pick up your date, like what always happens at a club or bar. Or you could meet for drinks without having to share an uncomfortable meal, when you don’t know if it’ll work out or not. Ya know…
Hey, let’s go out for a drink… I’ll meet you at Alt... Oh, that place over on Mayhem Street?
That’s what I want my place to be.”

“Daniel
, that… that is the most incredible thing I’ve ever heard. To go on a date without having to worry, it would be… relaxing.” Dalton sighs, as if imagining himself sitting in Alt, enjoying a beer and chilling out. “There are lights on upstairs and people moving around,” Dalton notices for the first time.

“Yeah, there are,” I say, secretly smiling. “This past month, I’ve had crews in there renovating the space. See the two upper-floors?” I take his hand in mine, intertwin
ing our fingers, and raise them. I point at the lighted widows. “That’s my new home,” I proudly announce.
 

“What?” Dalton
gasps in shock, turning to face me. His alien-green eyes are huge in surprise. “How?”

“I may be King of Whittenhower Estates and Enterprises, but I don’t have to live there
to run my post. I can commute the ten minute drive just like everyone else going to work every day, or I can work from home sometimes.”

“I get the concept of transportation, but I mean… how?” he stresses. “How can you leave them?”

“My son turns eighteen tomorrow. My daughter is steadily creeping towards sixteen. In fifty-nine days Regina will no longer be my wife. Regina has Marcus, and she can take care of Misery Castle from her throne as Queen. My family has each other- all of them. I will be there every day. What difference does it make if I don’t sleep there?”

“I-I-I… I…” Dalton stutters.

“You’re surprised?” I smirk.

“I’m shocked… stunned… speechless…” he stammers.
“I never thought you’d choose-”

“That I’d choose myself over them for the first time in my life?”
I softly murmur, voice barely carrying.

“Yeah… that!” Dalton
squeaks out. “I didn’t think you’d ever do that.” Emotions lace his voice, ones I can’t fathom.

“Yeah, me too!
” I shriek in a parody of how he just sounded. I snicker when Dalton stomps his foot, instantly pissed at me. I sober up and explain myself. “It’s time… They need to run their own lives. With this constant threat looming over us, I find life too short to hesitate even for an instant. They will be safe. They have each other and the security team. Who wouldn’t be safe with Marcus, Ezra, and Cortez on site? Not that I could forget Kris, Regina, Kat, and Syn. Those women would murder anyone who walks in unannounced. Niel is a huge, conniving kid. They will be fine without me.”

“Daniel, are you sure
about this? You’re not doing this because you think it’s what I want, are you?” Dalton’s voice wavers and his body starts to shiver. The reverberations flow into my fingers from our intertwined hands.

“No, Dalton, I’m not.
” I shake my head with conviction. “I’m wholeheartedly doing this for myself. I couldn’t do it for you if I tried, because you
won’t
tell me what you want,” my voice cracks under the strain of months of frustration.

“Promise
me that you’re doing this for yourself?” Dalton begs, gazing up at me from beneath the fringe of his lashes. Enormous, green eyes plead for my honesty. I may be manipulative, but I’m an honest and loyal bastard.

“I promise,
” I swear to Dalton. “Alt and my new home are solely for my sanity. I’m doing this because I need to know
who
I am, and I can’t find myself if I’m being everything for everyone every day. Right now I’m the gentleman Whittenhower. I’m Whitt: the polite pretty boy, grandson, son, father, brother, husband, friend, lover, boyfriend, and King of Misery Castle. No one, save you, calls me Daniel. I have no true identity other than the one each person places at my feet. That building,” I point at Alt. “Is my salvation. It’s where I will be
me
.”

“Ah!” I yelp when a hundred-thirty pound Emo attacks me. Dalton jumps up and melds himself to my chest and lips. His legs wrap around my waist, his arms around my shoulders. I freeze in stunned surprised as he kisses my unyielding lips.

Slowly I melt. My hands find their way to his ass, pressing him closer to me. My lips expertly move beneath his, tongue dabbing at his lower lip, asking for permission to enter. He opens to me on a moan and my tongue eagerly darts inside.

“Tell me one thing,”
Dalton breathlessly demands. His eyes are glazed in happiness and lust.

“Anything,” I breathe. My hands seek out his face, slowly brushing the tendrils of inky hair that have fallen over his eyes.

Dalton flashes me a magnificent, blinding with happiness smile. “When do we move in?”

~Chapter Twenty-Eight~

“What do we have here?” Ezra purrs, entering my bedroom.

I
’m sitting with my back to the headboard with my sketchbook on my lap, pencil poised over paper. Anyone who’s ever seen me at nighttime would expect me in this position. Instead of the usual illustrations or portraits, I’m sketching out the floor plan of my apartment and Alt’s main area.

“Well, speak of the devil… I was starting to think you’d fallen off the edge of the earth. It’
s been twenty-nine days since my last nocturnal invasion,” I sarcastically murmur.

“I’ve been around,” he shadily replies, and I let it go.
It’s none of my business what the lunatic is up to at night, anyway. “I was giving you some space as well. Our daily sessions have been helpful, have they not?”

“Very,” I say with a brilliant smile. “Most excellent, actually,” I admit.

“Good- very, very good,” Ezra mutters to himself. He seems unhinged, more so than usual. Nervous, that’s the word I’m looking for.

“What’s up with you tonight?” I speak as I stow the sketchbook and pencil in my nightstand drawer. I lock the drawer for good measure. No one knows about my plans, except for Dalton. It’s not like it’s a secret. But each one of them is just as sneaky and manipulative as the next. I don’t want them tugging my heartstrings and getting me to stay. I need this move. Dalton needs this move. We need to move forward together.

“What were you drawing,” Ezra counters, evading my question.

“Nothing,” I respond, evading his as well.

We stare at each other- a silent standoff. Each knowing the other is keeping secrets that we can’t beat out of the other. Ezra’s stormy gray eyes take on a blue hue as a devious light shines forth. He’s up to something…

“You’re up to something,” I say aloud, anyway. “If it doesn’t involve me, then I don’t need to know. Otherwise, spill it,” I demand
, drawing my legs up and hugging my knees to my chest.

Ezra’s eyes glue to his feet as
he replies, “Well, we have one last exercise that requires one-on-one attention. An exercise that would have been uncomfortable in my office,” he rambles, not really paying attention to what he’s saying. Ezra finally walks into the room and shuts the door behind him. When the lock clicks over, warning alarms blare in my mind.

I look Ezra over for weapons of mass erection. He’s clad in only boxer shorts with his cock threatening to tear
the fabric open. Nothing appears to be in his hands and he has no pockets. My guess, he wants to do something that involves… his erection.

“Don’t you mean that it would’ve been uncomfortable for Dalton to witness?” I audibly swallow. “Are you
planning on using that thing on me tonight?” I gulp out, knowing there is only one lesson we haven’t covered- impaling me.

“No,” Ezra
pouts, a grumpy expression filling his face. “That’s why I haven’t visited. It’s too tempting. I promised no real sex unless you guys invited me to play and no individual playtime.” Ezra stares out at me with gray eyes gone wild with lust. His breath is sawing between his clenched teeth.

“Having some issues, I see,” I purr with a teasing lilt in my voice.

“Um… not at all. I’m just great!” Ezra says in a tight voice masked with saccharine sweetness. “Get undressed and get underneath the covers.” His voice deepens, making his tone sound vaguely threatening. Judging by the madness in his eyes, it is a threat.

“Trouble in your own bedroom?”
I strip out of my lounge pants without a thought of modesty. It’s not like Ezra doesn’t already have me naked every day performing deviant acts on Dalton. I slip under the covers, wondering what’s in store for me next. I’m dick-shriveling nervous. Ezra can be a scary sonofabitch on a normal day. On a night like tonight…

“Cort is a cunning bastard. He’s turned the tables on us. He’s flirty and seductive.
Driving us all insane. We go to touch and he smiles and walks away. Punishment is not my thing,” Ezra growls, not leaving his space by the locked door.

“You mean taking punishment? Because I’m pretty sure your favorite hobby is administering it,” I taunt him.

“Don’t push me,” Ezra warns. “Cort has me at the end of my rope. I’m about to snap my leash and do whatever pleases me. I may prefer to bottom in gay sex, but in life, I top. Which do you think will win out when I tear myself free?” He pins me with his gunmetal gray stare and I want to ball up into the fetal position and cover my head with the blankies.

“Will you calm down if you get off?” I offer as a stress-reliever.

“You offering?” Ezra’s inflection rises. “Because if you aren’t…,” his threat trails off. “My cock is raw. Poor Katya is sore. My hand has calluses. Watching Dalton and you every day isn’t helping matters, but at night…” He shudders as a long-suffering sigh spills from between his clenched teeth. “Bedtime has been a trial, to say the least.”

“I’m sorry,” I try to hide the pity in my tone.

“Me too,” he whimpers. Ezra stares at the ceiling; head tilted back, and silently screams his agony. When he finally composes himself, he looks at me. “It’s why I’m doing this for Dalton and you. It’s for your sanity. I wouldn’t want my worst enemies living in this hell- loving someone so completely that they will ruin themselves to have them near. Do yourself a favor, accept that you’re gay, own it, and live your life the way you want. Fuck everyone else. They don’t live
your
life, they live
their
own!”

“I am,” I whisper, unsu
re if it travels to his ears. As it is, Ezra looks distracted by his own misery.

“I know. Dalton’s already there. You two wil
l have a good life together,” Ezra distantly speaks, as if his thoughts are on the future. “I know it,” he says with conviction. “Okay, lay back and relax. It’s lights out. I want you comfortable.”