Kismetology (20 page)

"Wow," Dan says. "You’re going to be like a
proper little matchmaker."

I smile.

I'm only just realising how involved in this I've become. I
can't say matchmaking has always been my dream career because I've never had a
dream career, but I've set up friends with other friends over the years, and
never realised how much I've enjoyed doing it. Okay, sure, recently there have
been a few bad dates, but seeing Mum happy makes them fade into the background.

"I have a question," Dan says. "What if
someone sees an ad or something they like, you date the guy and decide he’s an
asshole, and they don’t agree with you and want to meet him anyway? Oh, and
what about the whole opposites attract thing? How can you tell if certain
people will get on when you don’t even know them?"

"Firstly, maybe it’s not about deciding whether people
will or will not get on, it’s about deciding which ones
won’t
get on.
The client can decide from there. The whole point of this is that the clients
have to trust me, otherwise they wouldn’t need my personal matchmaking. This is
not about finding just any old man that any woman can find for herself. This is
about finding the
perfect
man. Or the
perfect
woman. Either way.
Anyone can look through personal ads and reply to the messages that look
promising. This is about me replying to the messages that look promising, and
figuring out whether they’re a waste of time or not."

"Hmm," Dan says. He doesn’t sound convinced, but I
am. I suddenly feel like I have a purpose in life again, and I am going to make
this work, come hell or high water.

"So, how about this Jeff guy?" Dan asks.

"Yeah. Jenni’s dad. I guess all I have to do is find
him and persuade him to be my guinea pig."

"That sounds easy," Dan says, sarcastically.

CHAPTER 33

"I don’t suppose your dad is
coming to pick you up tonight, is he?" I ask Jenni at lunchtime on Monday.

"Yes, he is actually. Why? You’re not still trying to
set him up with your mother, are you?"

"No," I say. "But I have an idea I want to
run by him, it’s nothing really, just… Oh, what the hell." I decide to
tell her anyway. "What I’ve been doing for my mum, you know, with the men,
I want to try doing for other people. If it works out, it would be an amazing
business venture. I thought I could start with your dad, seeing as he’s so
nice. Do you think he’d be up for something like that?"

"What? Being set up on blind dates with hand picked
women?"

I nod.

"Yeah, I don’t see why not. And if he says no then I’ll
give him a shove in the right direction."

"You’d do that for me?"

"Sure," she says. "I trust you enough that
I’m sure you know what you’re doing."

"I wouldn’t go that far. But I do need a guinea pig,
and he’s perfect."

She nods.

I finish with my clients early that night—I know the job so
well I can do it with my eyes closed—not literally, mind you, or there would be
all manner of things painted on clients nails, and probably half way up their
arms, too. But it bores me, and I want a challenge. And I am currently waiting
for my challenge to walk through the door. I’m sitting in the waiting area with
what I hope is not a predatory look on my face, pretending to shuffle through
magazines when Jeff walks in the door.

"Hey you," I say, grinning widely.

"Finished early again?" He asks me, glancing
towards Jenni who is still finishing off a woman’s highlights.

"I was waiting for you, actually. I have something I
want to ask you."

"Uh oh."

"No, it’s nothing bad. I hope. I don’t think so
anyway."

"Okay…"

"I want to test my new business idea out on someone,
and I can’t think of anyone better than you."

"Go ahead," he smirks at me.

"You know how I tried to set my mother up with men I’d
already met and decided were a good match? Well, I’d like to do the same for
you."

"I’m not really into men."

"With women." I laugh. "You see, I need to
prove to my boyfriend that this is a good business idea, and you’re my perfect
candidate."

"I think you’re great, Mackenzie, and I’d love to help
you out, but I’m really not looking to date at the moment."

"Even hand-picked women who I’m sure you’ll get along
with? Please?"

He sighs. "All right," he eventually says.
"But only because it’s you, Mac. Don’t expect miracles though, because I’m
really not looking for a relationship."

"But you would be interested if the perfect woman came
along, right?"

"Who wouldn’t?"

"Exactly. Thank you so much!" I tell him, barely
resisting the urge to kiss him square on the mouth or otherwise start
slobbering all over him.

He smiles. "You’re as bad as Jenni, always managing to
twist me around your little finger."

Having finished with her client, Jenni comes over at the
mention of her name. "Now, Dad," she says. "Mac here knows her stuff
when it comes to kismetology. You can trust her."

"Kismetology," I repeat. "Kismetology. The
study of the kismet. Jenni, that’s it! That’s perfect. You’ve just given me my
new business name."

"Well, if it’s not studying the kismet that you’re doing,
then I don’t know what it is."

"Hi," I say, trying it out. "I’m Mackenzie
Atkinson and I work for Kismetology."

"I like it," Jeff says. "I’ve been matched by
Kismetology."

"That’s so perfect," I say, hugging Jenni on
impulse. "It’s fantastic, thank you!"

"So, are you going to keep your job here?" She
asks.

"At first," I say. "I have absolutely no idea
where I’m going with this yet. It might not even work at all. But I want to
try. I love doing this."

"Enthusiasm and passion are the best things you can
have to make any job work," Jeff says.

"Thanks," I say to them both. "And I’m going
to get on with finding you a date straight away."

"No rush," he tells me.

CHAPTER 34

It is so peaceful not having Mum
around every night. It’s a little strange, actually. I sometimes wonder what I
should talk to Dan about. Honestly, if we don’t have my mother, one of the
endless soap operas, Baby, or something else mother-related to complain about
and sympathise with each other over, we don’t really have that much in common.
I sometimes wonder why I didn’t notice that before we moved in together.

Eleanor has been dating Ron for almost three weeks now. It’s
amazing. She’s so happy with him that even Baby has taken a backseat. That’s
why I am completely unprepared for her announcement the following evening.
She’s come over for dinner with me while Dan is in work. I suggested that she
wait until Dan’s night off so he could cook, but she refused, insisting his
food would be as awful as he is. I didn’t even bother to argue. She’s got her
mind made up about Dan, and that is that.

"It’s over with Ron," she says suddenly, fork full
of Chinese noodles halfway to her mouth.

I choke a little on my spring roll.

"Over?" I splutter. "Over as in over?"

"Over as in O-V-E-R."

"Define O-V-E-R."

"It’s just not working out," she says.

"He’s perfect," I say, perilously close to banging
my head on the table and pulling my hair out.

She shrugs. "I’m sorry, Mac. I know you worked hard to
find him, but he’s just not what I want."

"Not what you want?"
Not what she wants? Argh
!
"So, if you don’t want him, what do you want then?"

"I want… No, I can’t tell you, it’s too stupid."

"Oh come on," I say. "Ron is the perfect man
for you and you not only want something else, but you won’t tell me what it
is."

"You should just forget it, Mac. I’m happy with my
Baby."

"Yeah, but I’m not. You need some male company. Someone
to make you happy. Like I thought Ron was doing."

"He was."

"But?"

"But nothing. He’s a great guy, and he will make someone
else very happy, but it’s not me."

"But it is you. You two were so good together. Remember
the first date? With the champagne and the ice bucket, and the kissing your
hand. You liked that, right?"

"How do you know he kissed my hand?" She looks at
me quizzically. "I don’t remember telling you that."

"Oh, you must have mentioned it," I say, making a
mental note to keep my trap shut. I’ve already said too much. "Besides,
all men of that age do. It’s a natural thing for that generation."

Mum doesn’t look convinced but obviously decides to give me
the benefit of the doubt, because she goes back to eating.

"I thought he made you feel young again," I say,
doubling my efforts. Even as I’m saying it I don’t know why I’m bothering. My
mum is not one to change her mind after a decision has been made. I should
know, I’ve been trying to convince her that Dan isn't that bad for the past two
years.

But this is a disaster. I want to start a business doing
something that my only attempt at so far has suddenly and spectacularly failed.
How am I supposed to be a professional matchmaker when I can’t even find my own
mother someone to love? And now, I have to get back out there and find her
someone else. And I have to find Jeff someone too. Why, oh why couldn’t things
have worked out between the two of them? That would have made my life so easy.
But then again, maybe everything is exactly the way it’s supposed to be.
Honestly, I’ve figured out my dream career, and possibly a way to get my foot
in the door. If my mum had fallen in love with the first guy, then I would
never have had to date all those losers, and I would never have figured out my
calling. So maybe it’s for the best. Besides, I love Jeff. I think the man is
fantastic, and he deserves someone really great. My mother is too into mind
games to be good for Jeff.

"So, tell me what it is that you want," I say.
"Nothing is too stupid. I just want to know what you’re looking for, I’m
not going to judge you if you fancy a whip-cracking cowboy or worse."

"Just forget about it, Mackenzie. I’m better off
alone."

"No one is better off alone."

"I’m not alone, I have my Baby."

"A Yorkie doesn’t count."

Mum sighs.

"I’m not giving up on this," I tell her. "I
want you to find a man you can be happy with, and I’m not giving up until I
find someone."

"You really don’t need to, you—"

"Yes, I do."

We stare each other down for a long moment. Eventually Mum
looks away and goes back to her food.

"So, what happened with Ron? You were getting on so
perfectly."

"I just woke up one morning and realised that I wasn’t
happy with him…"

"But why?" I ask, wondering if I sound as pathetic
as I think I sound. I’m just so desperate for this to work out, one way or
another.

She shrugs.

"It isn’t what you want?"

"Uh huh."

"So, what is? What is this thing that you want? You can
tell me, you know."

"No, I really can’t."

Now I’m intrigued. The only thing my demented mind can come
up with is some sort of sexual fantasy or fetish scenario that she’s
embarrassed to admit to her daughter. But it doesn’t fit, somehow. Eleanor is
so straight-laced and sensible. So what does she want? My mind continues to
whirl as we eat. If it’s not sexual then it must be something else. I just
can’t think what. She’s not satisfied in any relationship… Why? I try to apply
the principles to myself. I’m not satisfied in my relationship with Dan. I
thought we’d be perfect together without my mum interfering every five minutes,
but as it's turned out, we argue even more. Why? I suppose it’s because he’s
not
The One
. Yes, I’m happy enough with him, and even though I’m aware
that I’m settling, I’m not about to break up with him any time soon, because
he’s enough of
The One
for now. And splitting up with him would just
prove my mother right and she’d wear a self-satisfied smirk for the rest of the
year and I’d never hear the end of it. That’s a bad reason to stay in a
relationship, right? Okay, so by my reasoning, Dan isn’t
The One
for me,
and Ron isn’t
The Second One
for my mother. Maybe the reason isn’t
important. Maybe the only thing I should be worried about is the fact he’s not
what she’s looking for, rather than keep searching for the why. After all, it
isn’t up to me to say who the man she should have a serious relationship with
should be. It’s only my job to present the possibilities, and then Mum can
decide for herself.

Then a thought hits me.
The Second One
. What if she’s
not open to finding the second love of her life because she’s still in love
with the first? I go through the signs. Ron isn’t what she wants. No guy has been.
She’s embarrassed to tell me what it is that she does want.

The divorce was very sudden and initiated completely out of
the blue by my dad. Mum thought their relationship was fine. The first time she
knew there was anything wrong was when my dad didn’t come home one night and
she got a letter from her solicitor the next morning.

"Are you still in love with Dad?" I ask.

"What?"

"I was just thinking. It all makes sense to me now.
You’re not open to meeting a new man because you’re still in love with Dad."

"Mackenzie…"

"I’m right, aren’t I?"

"No, Mac. It’s not your dad I’m in love with."

It’s not your dad I’m in love with. A-Ha
!

"So you are in love with someone?"

She shrugs. I can tell by the look on her face that I’ve hit
the nail on the head.

"But if it’s not my father, then who is it?"

"Just drop it, Mackenzie."

"No. This is serious. This is good. I can help you.
Just tell me who it is, and I’ll go and find him for you."