Kiss and Tell (20 page)

Willow couldn’t even convince herself of the plausibility of that last thought. She could never handle watching him smile and flirt with another woman.

Unable to handle her rampant thoughts any longer, Willow lay on her bed. Even terrified Seth would come to her in her dreams again, she’d still felt comfort in being able to sleep. She may have limited how much sleep she allowed herself, but there was a small amount of comfort in the knowledge that there was a chance he would come to her, that he would hold her.

As she lay in the bed now, Willow couldn’t help but shudder. The thought of sleep no longer comforted her. He’d promised he would never enter her dreams again. Without any chance of seeing him again, sleeping seemed a bleak and hopeless action. She wondered if she could try to find him, if their connection was a two-way deal.

Clinging to that tiny thread of hope, Willow closed her eyes and drifted off into sleep.

* * *

Seth could feel the slight tug on their connection as he stared out his bedroom window. He didn’t see the twinkling lights or traffic, he saw Willow, her body uncovered for him. One minute she was lying tantalizingly on his bed, in a pose that threatened every ounce of self-control he could ever remember possessing. The next, she was straddling his chest, begging him to bite her.

He felt his teeth lengthen as his mouth watered at the view she presented him with. Memories of the show she put on for him had his cock hard and flexing beneath his pants.

How many women would tease their men the way Willow teased me?

Did Willow tease other men the same way?

Seth’s fists clenched and he had to back away from the window to prevent himself from smashing it. Reluctantly he admitted that taking his anger out on the glass would do no good.
It won’t make me feel better and it sure as hell won’t bring Willow back. All it will do is make a mess and allow the sun’s rays to enter the room.

Perhaps that would be for the best? If I’m not here, she won’t be tempted to sacrifice any possible happiness she could have simply to keep me alive…

Shaking his head, he forced himself to walk away from the temptation. He would follow the bedtime story his mother told him. He would take a few days to get his possessions in order. He would leave notes for his family, and for Jason. His friend deserved to know why he had chosen the path that he did. Then, just before the hunger became unbearable, he would take the honorable way out. The only way that would guarantee no innocent people would be harmed. He would watch the sun rise.

Comforted by his decision, Seth stripped and climbed into his bed. He took a deep breath, breathing in Willow’s scent as it clung to his sheets, his pillow.

There was another tug on their connection. Turning away from it, he ignored it. He had given his word that he would never terrorize her dreams again, and he would keep his promise.
It’s only wishful thinking,
he tried to convince himself.
Why would she want to see me again?
As he closed his eyes, he remembered the monster she had compared him to. He could hear the evil laugh of that horribly scarred man taunting him.

* * *

“Roxy, I’m going out,” Willow called as she tried to hurry from of the door before her sister could stop her.

“Where are you going? You’ve gone out the last three nights straight. What happened to you, Will? First you’re depressed and won’t go leave the apartment, then you disappear and lock yourself in your room for two nights, and when you finally do come out, you spend all night somewhere, not coming home until dawn. Sis, I’m getting worried.”

“I’m fine. At least, I think I am. I just needed to work through something,” Willow told Roxy honestly.

“And now you have?”

“Yes. Now I have.” For two days and nights she’d refused all contact with people, concentrating only on Seth. She’d tried to contact him, tried to figure out what she wanted. Anytime she tried to imagine her life without him, her stomach would clench into knots.

She still wasn’t sure exactly what she felt for him, but she knew she wanted to at least give it—give them—a chance. She had thought and rethought her reasons until she was positive she wasn’t doing anything simply because she felt an obligation to him. But Willow also wanted to make sure she was more than a pet to him. She couldn’t be that. Not even if she were treated as a prized pet and given anything she ever desired in exchange for the blood she provided.

As she tried to make her decision, her thoughts continuously returned to the week she’d spent with Seth. At no time while she was there had he made her feel like anything but a welcome guest. Looking back, now that she knew he’d drank her blood, she still couldn’t detect any difference in how’d he treated her.

“What do you do every night, Will?” Roxy’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts again. “You leave at sunset and don’t come back until nearly dawn. What are you doing?”

“I’m looking for someone.” Willow answered her sister’s question, knowing Roxy wouldn’t give up until she had at least a few answers.

Roxy shot her a disbelieving look. “It doesn’t take
that
long to find someone.”

“It does when you’re looking for someone specific but you don’t know where to find him. And if you’ll excuse me, I have to go. I’m going to be unbelievably pissed at you if you make me miss my meeting.” Without another word, Willow turned and left the apartment.

She could barely contain her excitement when she reached the bar. It had taken two nights, but she’d finally gotten the bartender to talk to her. He’d sworn to her that Jason would be in tonight, but he wasn’t sure what time. He’d explained the man was scheduled for an update, that he would be there—even if just for a few minutes—to make sure everything was running smoothly while Seth was unavailable.

Walking in, she panicked. What if she had missed him? When the bartender saw her approach, he smiled and shook his head. He reassured her that she hadn’t missed Jason.

Willow sat at a table, careful to face the door. She also made certain to keep a lazy eye on the bar, thankful for the peaceful crowd. Since the Night Crawlers weren’t due to play until the next night, Willow felt reasonably sure she would be able to spot Jason as soon as he walked in.

Dismissing all the men asking her to dance and denying anyone who asked to join her, Willow tried to wait patiently, constantly reminding herself that the bartender said she hadn’t missed him. After what felt like an eternity, Jason finally arrived.

Willow watched him enter and stride over to the bar. His blond hair made him easier to pick out in the dim lighting. She waited for Jason to speak to the bartender, before leaving her table to approach him as he lounged against the polished countertop. She had a favor to ask and didn’t want to piss him off by interrupting his business.

She was only a few feet away from him when Jason turned and stared at her.

“Can we talk?”

“I’m pretty busy right now,” Jason told her coldly.

“Please. Just five minutes.” She used the same line he had when he approached her about Seth.

“Make it quick,” he sighed, repeating her answer.

“Can we at least go sit down?”

Jason nodded and followed Willow to her table.

“It’s about Seth…” she began timidly.

“Go on.” His voice was unemotional as he sat opposite her.

“I want you to take me to him.”

“Why?” He leaned forward. She seemed to have his undivided attention now.

“I tried to go see him a few nights ago…” She paused, uncertain how much to tell him. “I had his address, but couldn’t get up to his apartment. And when I spoke to the manager, he said that Seth wouldn’t pick up his phone. Without Seth’s approval, my hands are tied. I couldn’t even get the number of the floor he lives on or his phone number.” And damn her sister—Roxy had erased the number off their caller ID.

Jason nodded. “Seth’s very particular about his privacy. He makes certain his managers are quite aware of that. I’m sure you can understand why.”

“Just take me to him. That’s all I want. All I’m asking you for.”

Jason snorted. “Why should I? Are you planning on killing him this time? At least then he’d be put out of his misery. Do you know what it feels like to starve to death?” His tone became nasty.

“Listen to me, sport,” she said, getting nasty right back. “I only want a few minutes of his time. I need to talk to him and don’t ask me what I want to talk to him about. Because it’s none of your business.” Willow’s temper was rising, getting the best of her good intentions to play nice.

“Then you damn sure aren’t getting taken to his apartment,” Jason stated as he leaned back. He crossed his arms over his chest, and glared at her. “Do you know what I had to go through to find out what was going on with him? To get him to tell me that he was slowly dying? He’s the best friend I’ve ever had and I will not let you hurt him, again.”

After a minute she gave up. She could understand his concern. “Fine. Look, I needed a few days to work through everything. I don’t think it was too much to ask for considering all the information that was thrown at me. And your friend made it pretty clear he didn’t want me around at that moment as well.” Her tone softened, became almost pleading. “I just want to tell him what I decided. And I want to tell him in person—in private. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for either.”

“Fine.” Jason stood. “Why not, I don’t think you could put him in a worse mood.” Without looking back to see if she was following, he walked through the bar to the exit.

Five very tense minutes later she was in the elevator with Jason, heading up to see Seth.

When the doors opened Willow stepped out and Jason gave a slight bow, a sarcastic smile on his face. As the doors closed once more, leaving her alone in the apartment, she wondered if she’d made the right decision.

“Seth?” Walking through the apartment, she called out his name, looking for him. The bedroom door loomed before her and she felt another moment of doubt.

“Seth?” She called him again as she knocked. When he didn’t answer, she opened the door, gasping at the mess she saw.

“Oh my God,” she exclaimed as she looked around. Clothes and glass were all over the floor. Anything fragile had been broken, and over half of the material on the floor was shredded.

“What do you want?” he growled from the side of the room.

“Seth? What happened?” At first she didn’t see him. When she spotted his form squatting in a corner, she rushed toward him.

“Go away, Willow.” He turned away from her, showing her his back.

“What’s wrong, what’s going on?” Concern flooded her body. Reaching out, she moved forward until she was only a few feet shy of touching him. Moving slowly so she didn’t startle him, she continued to close the distance between them.

“Go away,” he screamed, still in the corner.

“No. Let me help you…” Before she could say another word he was standing. He moved forward, pushing her back against the wall.

“You want to help me? Leave. Me. Alone. Walk away while you still can, before I forget that I’m not the monster all those stories claim I am.” He leaned in close to her neck and took a deep breath. “Gods, you smell so sweet.” He growled again

“Seth…” Willow stroked his cheek gently.

“Don’t touch me.” He pulled away as if her touch were painful. As though she had burned him. He flew to the other side of the room almost faster than her gaze could follow. “Say what you came to say then leave me alone.”

Willow was stunned. This man was different from the gentle lover she had known, different from the sad man she had seen less than a week before. “What happened to you?”

Seth was practically shaking with need. He needed to feel her wrapped around him, needed to taste her beneath his lips, needed her blood to finally ease the beast roaring in pain and hunger within him.

But more than anything he needed her to leave. He would not allow her to become a sacrificial lamb, to be around him because she pitied him. And he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep his growing hunger at bay.
And by the old gods, I will not hurt her like
that
.
He could smell her skin, the lotion she used. It only served to make him hungrier. He knew, as he was now, he could never be gentle with her.