Kissed by Reality (6 page)

N
o one should ever have
to wear a tuxedo this often. I should have written that into my contract, "Lead will wear sweatpants to each and every Charm Ceremony."

But here I was, messing with a cummerbund for the third week in a row, trying like hell to master tying a bowtie. Not to mention each time I shifted, my leg ached in the tight confine of the pants.

That wasn’t what I was irritated about. It was the fact that I'd almost let Leighton give me a hand job in the dark kitchen last night. Or the fact that I had hobbled back to my room and jerked it to the thought of her delicate fingers wandering higher than the crest of my thigh muscle.

Fucking Leighton. She was always so good at pulling my strings.

I threw the bowtie down on the chair next to me after struggling to knot it for a third time in a row.

"Someone having a bad day?"

I heard the sneer before I saw him. I'd know that voice anywhere.

"No fucking way..." I turned and almost lost my nose as my little brother wrapped me in a giant bear hug.

And when I say little, I only mean in age. Because there is nothing small about my brother Carter. The guy's a freakish, half-man, half-giant.

"What're you doing here?" I struggled to breathe with his tree-trunk arms still wrapped around me.

"Production called us in, said we had to join you at the Charm Ceremony tonight. Hot ladies, count me in! The other one though, he's here to be the voice of reason."

"Shut up, Cart." A gravely voice chided my younger brother, and I didn't even have to get my feet on the ground to know that my older brother Julian was standing behind me.

Carter let me go, his Thor-like muscles rippling as he set me down, and I turned to give Julian the typical guy half-hug and fist-bump. "I can't believe you guys are really here."

Julian let go of me, smoothing down his grey suit. He should be the one dressing up each week. He was your typical businessman, always in formal wear with the structured speeches to boot. Except that might upset his wife and daughter, who were both obsessed with him, as he was with them.

"We had to come, check out the hotties who are going to drool on your knob for the next two months." Carter moved to the wall that housed a headshot of each woman. It was sad that they needed this in my “dressing room" in the house, but the truth was, I was still having trouble remembering some of the women's names, and I'd cut the pool from 25 to 18. Tonight it would go to 15. And out of those, there were probably only three I was seriously interested in.

Four if you counted Leighton, which I was trying not to. Even though every time I moved I was reminded of her gently massaging my knee in the kitchen last night, some unspoken emotion passing between us, joining us like two particles in a force field.

Carter's brutish hands knocked a frame over, and I sighed. My younger brother had gotten none of the class and elegance our mother had exuded. He was all our father, dark brown hair, brawny physique and larger-than-life personality. The only thing mom had passed down to him was those turquoise eyes.

Julian was a carbon copy of mom, as if she'd spit him. The tall, lean figure, dirty blonde hair, indigo eyes that matched my own, class and stoicism spilling out of every pour.

I was the half-breed, the middle child who'd inherited a mix of all of those traits and features.

"Can you please be careful. And no banging Finn's hopefuls. These girls don't need whatever disease is festering on your dick." Julian chided Carter, but I could see from the amusement in his eyes that he was half-joking.

"Lighten up, married man. Just because you're tied to the same woman and off-spring for the rest of your life doesn't mean the rest of us are jumping on the ole monogamy wagon." Carter held out his hand for me to fist bump, and when I didn't, he launched it at my scalp for a noogie instead.

I wrestled him off with a struggle, forgetting that even with my Marine Corps training he still had about 40 pounds of muscle on me.

"Actually, isn't that why Finn
is
here?" Julian picked up my bowtie, motioning for me to stand still while he tied it expertly around my neck.

"Nah...he's only here because he's tired of crying into his Wheaties over Leighton."

Julian's face darkened at the mention of her name. Might as well get it over with now so they weren't having a meltdown over her being here on national TV.

"About that..." I gathered my breath, preparing for the backlash. "Leighton is here."

All movement in the room stopped for about 20 seconds, a feat that my mother had been trying to accomplish since we were little kids.

And then it started again. "What?" and "No fucking way!" came from my brothers' mouths at exactly the same time.

"She came here?" Julian tried again.

I nodded, patting him on the shoulder as he finished knotting the tie at my neck. "Says she wants to win me back. Says we are meant for each other, in so many words."

Carter ran a hand through his curly brown locks and pulled on the collar of his button down. "Shit man...I mean, when you all were together, I can't say I didn't believe that. Even my non-commitment ass saw what you had was special."

I knew Carter had always been partial to Leighton, even after the split. I think it was because they were so similar in their ideologies, in the way they saw the world around them.

"That bitch cut out your heart and ate it for breakfast,” Julian practically spat.

Well...I always knew his opinion on her.

Even before the shit hit the Right Now Island fan, he hadn't been a fan of our quickie engagement. He'd kept his mouth closed until everything had gone south, but he refused to keep his feelings hidden now. I would only be half-surprised if he clocked her when we walked into the cocktail party. The only part of me rejecting that idea was that Julian would slit his own throat before he'd put his hands on a woman.

"Whatever. I'm just glad you guys are here. I've missed you." And it was true, we hadn't seen each other in awhile.

"Well, if you'd ever come home and quit playing Mr. Hollywood, you'd see us more." Carter joked as he checked his phone.

"Glad to be here. So, any other girls peaking your fancy?" Only Julian would speak like that.

"There is this teacher from Illinois, Erin. And then Haleigh, she's a nurse from Florida. The last one is Kennedy, but she's kind of religious and I don't think when it comes down to it she'll be open to dating, or marrying, an atheist like me.”

"And then there is Leighton of course." Carter flexed his knuckles, cracking two of them while smirking at me. "I mean, it is the third week and she's still here."

I scowled. "She's here because Chuck and the producers are making me keep her here. It’s good for ratings. Believe me, if I could have thrown her off the first night, I would have."

I heard the next statement he half-hid under his breath. "For some reason, I don't believe that's true."

"How are the brothers Wyatt?" Mitchell boomed in that overly-professional stage voice he used during hosting. I rolled my eyes while my brothers stared at him with annoyed looks on their faces. "Alright...well, let's get you out there to meet Finn's women."

Mitchell did a presenter's flourish with his hand as if he was Vanna White selling these women to the highest bidder. Yup, total slimeball.

G
od
, Mitchell was a total slimeball.

He'd come to my room tonight and handed me a skin-tight black evening gown with lace cutouts and insisted I wear it to the cocktail party. And then proceeded to look at my tits as if he could see them through the material of my t-shirt.

I skimmed my hands down the dress as I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom I shared with three other women. It fit like a glove and looked like sin, sweeping the floor past my heels and exposing large areas of skin on my back and between my cleavage. They were covered with black lace, making the illusion so much more appealing than being naked.

The dress was gorgeous, but ever since Right Now Island, I questioned why production had given me this dress. There was always some kind of motive, some end game. It wasn't simply because they wanted me to look pretty. Something big was going to happen tonight. Something that they wanted me in a fancy dress for, even fancier than the one I'd worn on the beach when Finn had proposed.

I fixed one more strand of hair that had fallen from the curled up-do I'd created and then headed downstairs. Maybe tonight would call for a glass of wine, even though I hadn't partaken in alcohol much since being here. It dulled the senses too much, and I needed to be on high alert.

We were going to be entering the Top 15 phase after tonight, which meant we'd start traveling. Not only was I excited to see new places, a huge perk of being on this show, but we could go someplace where Finn and I had no memories with each other. Bermuda, Nebraska, LA. All places that had marked us as a couple. Maybe if I got him to a location where we had no shared history, I could convince him to give us a fighting chance.

But going into the Top 15 also meant the competition got more intense. It meant that the jokesters who production only cast for ratings, laughs and drama would be pretty much gone. Leaving the serious contenders, the ones Finn could actually fall for. The women would be more guarded, more secretive. Fights, tears and apprehension would swarm the group, and I was so not down for that.

And the rusty nail of truth that kept hammering into my heart told me that my time was fast running out as well. I had to persuade him to keep me past whatever week production told him it was necessary. I had to convince him that I was truly sorry, that I regretted what happened in Bermuda more than anything in my life. I had to convince him to fall in love with me again.

My strappy-heeled foot hadn't even hit the bottom step before I heard him. "Well look what the fucking cat dragged in..."

Carter Wyatt stood at the entry to the great room, a shit-eating smirk on his too-handsome-to-be-real face.

"Who let Thor in here? Watch out for his hammer ladies, he's still not quite sure how to use it." I came to stand toe-to-toe with Carter.

Two seconds of mock seriousness and then he was pulling me in for one of his classic death-grip hugs.

"Aldy! Its good to see you. Never thought I'd have the pleasure of your company after you tore my bro's heart out and shit on it."

"That's a horrible image, Carter." I wheezed, kicking at his shins with my heels, which were now suspended above the floor.

Finally, he let me down. "Did you come back to crook that finger at him once more? Maybe cheat on him again? Oh! Are you swimming in the lady pond this time?!"

The amused look that lit his face told me his was busting my chops, but it still stung.

"No, she's come back for the attention that drives her measly life. To suck on the teet of Hollywood's breast and lick up any spoiled milk someone may have left for her. This isn't about Finn."

I glanced around Carter and saw Julian giving me such a heinous, disgusted look that I recoiled as if he'd slapped me. But this was their test. They wanted to see me break, and now I'd understood why the producers gave me this dress. Nothing better than a princess gushing tears at her own ball.

I straightened up and loaded my armor on. "Nice to see you too, Julian. How are Marina and Izzy? She's what now, three?"

I'd spent a lot of time with Finn's family when I'd been undercover in Nebraska. Producers hadn't objected when we decided to live together after filming wrapped, and we wanted to see what it was like to be together in the real world. The only caveat was that we couldn't be seen together, and no one could see the big fat sparkler on my left hand before the engagement episode aired. Spoilers are bad for business.

So I'd spent a lot of time in Finn's apartment, only venturing out under disguise to spend the day at Julian and Marina's house while Finn worked at the physical therapy clinic. My two months in Nebraska had been the greatest of my life. I spent every night and weekend metaphorically shackled to the bed with my fiancé, only leaving when sex had left us weak enough that we had to refuel. I taught myself to cook, using elaborate recipes with things like truffle oil and hollandaise sauce, on the days when I didn't go to Marina's. But most mornings and afternoons, I was an honorary member of the Wyatt clan.

Julian had married Marina five years ago in a fairytale wedding on his parent's farm in Nebraska. Two years into their marriage they'd welcomed their little girl, Isabelle, or Izzy as I called her. Over those two months of hiding, Marina had become my best friend, a sister-in-law. The closest thing to a sibling I'd ever had, since I was an only child. And Izzy was like my niece. I used to sit on the floor with her for hours, playing whatever game she'd become obsessed with that day.

They'd become my world, all of them. They'd become my family. I still woke in a cold sweat sometimes, Marina's disappointed eyes that day I left still ingrained in my memory.

"Come on guys, let me introduce you to Erin." Finn brushed past me, slinging his arms around his brother's shoulders and not even bothering to spare me a passing glance.

I wasn't too proud to admit that a lump filled the back of my throat as I watched them walk towards Erin, intent on meeting a girl Finn actually liked. It was silly of me to think that this dress would make him notice me, would make him forget the horrific thing I'd done. But part of that feminine hope had filled me as I looked in the mirror upstairs. I thought that maybe this dress would do it, that for once during this competition he'd look at me with that round-eyed wonder he'd once reserved for me and only me.

The cocktail party crawled by in a blur of Carter's jokes and Julian's sentimental talks with the women. I tried to amuse myself with telling stories about Finn to the girls, making myself and our relationship seem more relatable.

"So one weekend Finn and I went to the Omaha Zoo because you know he's a softy for all kinds of animals. He has this mangy rescue mutt Norbert who humps anything in sight but he still loves the poor devil—“

Finn shoots me a death stare from across the room at offending his precious Norbert, but I keep going.

"Anyway, he wants to go to the zoo. We make it through the land animals, you know tigers, lions and bears, oh my! And then we come to the aquatic animals and I'm pumped because manatees are my thing. They're so giant and gentle, I'm just obsessed. Turns out Finn arranged for us to have a meet and greet tour with some of the penguins, so we go into the tank when we get there. Dr. Doolittle over here thinks he's going to charm these birds into adopting him or something, because he's such a great guy, you know? The first one he goes up to to try and pet bites him! I mean full on tries to take a chunk out of his hand!"

The group of women laugh at Finn's misfortune while he scowls at me and sulks on the couch where he’s come to graze the pretty girls. "I was trying to be friendly and play with him. Not my fault that bird was evil."

"Not evil, just scared of this large man coming up to give it a hug like it was his long lost sibling. You got what you deserved, you didn't even listen to the training the zoo keeper gave us."

"Whatever," Finn grumbled while the girls begged me to tell more stories. Not only was this strategy working to keep the focus all on me, but it was reminding Finn of all of the good times we'd spent together.

They had yet to pull me aside for a camera sit down with the brothers, and I doubted they would. There was no way they were letting Julian film with me, he'd go off like a loose cannon. That's not how they wanted to play my storyline, so it looked like I'd be drowning my sorrows in Cabernet tonight.

I was halfway through my second glass when I heard Erin giggle out on the patio. I snuck to the window overlooking that part of the yard, and my stomach plummeted like I'd just crested the first drop on a roller coaster.

Finn's hands were threaded in her mahogany hair, his lips pressed sweetly to hers as they embraced under the moonlight. His eyes were closed, his expression peaceful.

I turned and walked away quickly, trying my hardest not to dry-heave all over the expensive piece of clothing draped around my body. I stopped when my back hit the stairwell wall, my knuckles almost white as they clenched the wine glass between them. It would break if I didn't get my hurt, anger and panic under control.

My cool girl act was slipping. I'd come here assuming the notion that I'd lure him back to me with wit, casual flirting and a hard-to-get attitude. Only then would I tell him I was still in love with him, that the reality TV darling had ceased to exist the minute he'd picked me in Bermuda. That the only thing I wanted to be now was his wife, a part of his family. And it was true. Maybe I'd wanted the fame and the attention, but that had all vanished the minute Finn got down on one knee. I'd seen my future flash before my eyes, and I wanted to seize it.

Except this mission, the plan I'd so carefully constructed, it wasn't working. He wasn't enticed by my flippant attitude or quiet beauty. He wasn't falling for any of the tricks I threw at him, because he wasn't even interested in coming within ten feet of me. I was losing him, and fast. He was meeting women here, women who were thousand times more successful, sincere and kind than I was. Women from small towns, who knew how he’d grown up and would never get bored. While I'd been the one to tell him four months ago that while I loved spending time in Nebraska, I needed adventure. And he'd agreed because it was part of my package.

But now Finn didn't want in on that. And I needed a new plan.

"Don't give up just yet." A quiet voice rose up from the bottom of the winding staircase, and I peeled my back off the wall to see Carter rounding it.

I tried to swipe the errant tear that was leaking down my cheek, but I don't think I was quick enough.

"You did a shitty thing, and you broke his heart. But I have a feeling you're also the only one who can put it back together."

Carter's words made the lump in the back of my throat grow, practically suffocating me with emotion. It all came lashing out at me like a whip. Breaking Finn's heart, my mother's cancer, being here, playing into Chuck and Mitchell's asinine game once again. I needed a minute.

I don't know if I really even acknowledged Carter before I walked up the stairs, but he must have known I didn't want him to follow me. For playing the dumb, loyal, funny brother all the time, Carter hid that he was oddly intuitive.

I must have been leaning against the edge of the bathroom sink, doing deep breathing exercises for longer than I thought because Finn came tearing into the room like a bull that had seen red.

"It’s not good enough that you're fucking up this entire experience for me, but you're going to hold up filming as well?!"

His face was crimson, his pupils dilated with rage. I'd seen him this mad before, when the beast that had taken root inside of his soul overseas managed to carve its way out. The only option was to get out of its way.

"I didn't realize, I'm sorry. Let's go down now."

"What, you figure you're just going to boycott even coming to Charm Ceremonies anymore because you know you're hanging around until production lets me kick your ass to the curb?"

I could hear the fuse of my anger slowly ticking down, burning away until at any moment I would explode. "Finn, watch it..."

"Fuck Leighton, shut up! This? It was supposed to be my thing. I was supposed to come here and forget all about you. All about your conniving, deceitful ways, how you gutted me when you—“

I couldn't hear him say it. So instead of skirting the beast, I poked it. I got right in its face and taunted it.

I kissed him.

My hands made contact with his tux lapels at the exact same time that my mouth came down over his, the moisturized scarlet lipstick I'd put on sliding over the creases of his lips. I pulled at Finn's clothes, bringing him so close to me that he had me bending backwards over the bathroom counter. I moved my lips, caressing and coaxing his to move back. He was hesitant, not moving but not backing away either, and I don't know if it was hope or insanity that led me to slip my tongue between his parted mouth.

Once I did that, it was all over. Finn moved, his quiet confidence and relaxed air turning into heated lust and panty-melting authority.

He grabbed my face with one hand and my waist with the other, pinning me to the counter and grinding his body into mine. His taste, mint, and smell, sandalwood and mahogany, overwhelmed me, sending my tipsy head into full-on drunk.

Finn bit and sucked at my lips, running his tongue along the seam and then plunging it deep into my mouth, never letting me forget exactly what that would feel like below my waist. And oh did I remember. I was dripping wet, my arousal slick between my thighs and pungent in the air.

He growled low in his throat as he repeatedly ground against my stomach, that thick, perfect erection branding me above the lace of my dress. I would gladly rip the floor-length gown to shreds if it meant I could spread my legs for him on that counter.

My whole body was swollen, twitching with need and anticipation. When Finn abruptly pulled back, his eyes rabid and confused, I audibly moaned.

All he did was turn and walk from the room.

That night I was awarded a Charm, a tiny W for the brothers’ Wyatt. Finn picked me
second
to last, and hope filled my chest.