Kissing Shakespeare (38 page)

His arms slid around me, holding me close. “I love you, Miranda. God knows, after Mary died, I never thought to say those words again. But I do
love
you. And that is why I must send you back.” He stepped away, and his expression looked agonized. “You do not know it, but I was lost from the first time I caught sight of you. ’Twas one of the reasons I chose you. You bewitched me.”

“I did? So you loved me all along? All this time, and you never said anything.”

“How could I?”

“You violated your own ‘no personal gain’ rule.”

“So I did. I could not help myself.”

“You told me when I first arrived that time stood still in the present while I was in the past. There must be a limit on that. If I stayed, time would go on, wouldn’t it, eventually? I’d be declared missing or something?”

“Aye. And we are pushing against the limit. I have to get you back within a few days of the new moon, or your time will move on without you.”

“Something else you neglected to mention.”

“You had enough to worry about. I knew I could deal with that particular problem.”

I wondered what else he hadn’t told me. What more there was about this journey I’d never begin to fathom. I wiped my nose with the handkerchief. “When you disappeared for those days, I started to think about going back. Seeing the people and places I missed. And acting.”

“It was one of the reasons I left. I needed to give you the time to separate from me and begin to think about going home. I hope you will mend things with your mother.”

“Thank you for helping me sort through … my issues … with her. I think maybe the two of us can make a new start.”

He stroked my hair, pressed sweet kisses on my head, then held me away from him. “I believe you no longer have such self-doubt as you once did. Regarding both your mother and acting.”

I smiled, my spirits lifting a little. “It’s true. I’ve had a lot of time to think about both.”

He went on. “When I brought you back, even though I was so taken with you, you were a means to an end. I had to prevent something from happening, and I had no clear idea of how to do it. I apologize to you, Miranda, for using you cruelly.”

“You mean wanting me to seduce Shakespeare?”

He winced. “I am ashamed of what I asked of you. It was not the act of a gentleman.”

“You’ve already apologized. Remember? And I’m sorry for being so … difficult. I
have
mellowed a little, haven’t I?”

“Indeed, you are all goodness now.”

I smacked his chest playfully, and he caught hold of my wrist. “Now, sweet, ’tis time.”

“Stephen, no.” I could feel love pulsing up through me, making my eyes shine with it.

He pulled me close and we clung to each other for a moment, shutting out the world, both our worlds. Brushing my lips gently, he clasped my hand and led me toward the tower. “You must climb to the top,” Stephen said.

Clutching my backpack, I jolted to a stop. “Wait! Do you have the astrolabe? Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I’m not going to end up in a harem in Constantinople, or on the
Mayflower
or something, am I?”

“Be assured, I have everything I need. I know what I am about.”

I swallowed hard as he backed away from me. “What should I do when I get to the top?”

“Nothing. I will take care of … the rest. Look out over this English countryside so that you’ll remember it always. And one thing more. I had the pendant inscribed for you. Read it.”

I fumbled for it, but Stephen stopped me, shaking his head. “Not now. Do not read it until you are at the top.”

“All right,” I agreed, despite my overwhelming curiosity. I reached out for him once more, our fingers barely connecting as he moved farther away. Clutching my backpack, I dragged in a ragged breath and began climbing the narrow stone stairs, a shiver of fear shooting through me. Once at the top, I did as Stephen said. I whirled around, marking the countryside in my memory. The slant of the sunlight on undulating fields and flowering bushes. The gentle swell of the land, reaching up to meet a serene sky.

Dizziness rose up, and I grabbed hold of the iron railing surrounding me. I sensed an imperceptible shift, and my hands and feet began to tingle. Desperately, I raised the pendant and read the inscription.

Farewell! Thou art too dear for my possessing .…

At the last moment I screamed. “Stephen!”

And was gone.

Boston, Present Day

S
TRUGGLING UP FROM THE DEPTHS OF SLEEP
, I opened my eyes and squinted at the sunlight streaming into my room. I lost the struggle, rolled over, and sank back into oblivion.

Later, my cell phone woke me. Not moving from my prone position, I twisted my neck until I spotted my backpack near the bed. I stretched out an arm and grabbed it. By the time I’d unzipped the right compartment, the ringing had stopped. I hadn’t really wanted to answer it anyway.

I flopped back down, only then noticing I’d slept in my clothes. The full realization of parting from Stephen was beginning to catch up with me. I was home, in Boston, feeling profoundly depressed. I vaguely remembered standing in the street near the Dennis School sometime during morning rush hour, seemingly only minutes after leaving Stephen. Everything had seemed out of sync. I hailed a cab, the sound and speed of the cars scaring me. The concrete sidewalk and asphalt streets felt unwelcoming beneath my feet. Intense exhaustion had overtaken me, along with a stupefying awareness of the time shift. After barely making it through the front door of our home, I’d gone to my room, thrown myself on the bed, and fallen asleep.

Why had I let myself be talked into leaving him?
You agreed to this, Miranda. Remember? You weren’t talked into anything
. A sound, something like a moan of agony, burst out of me.

I resisted the urge to sink back into sleep, and instead sat up and tugged my boots off. Then I padded over to my desk and started up my laptop. I wanted to see what date and day it was. When the desktop came up, the bar across the top told me it was Saturday, March 22, 1:11 p.m. So Stephen had been right; I’d only lost a few hours. I had a performance tonight. I raked my hair with both hands, trying not to freak out. Was I really home? It seemed impossible.

I found my cell phone and checked to see who the missed call was from. I listened to the message. “Miranda, it’s your grandfather.” As if that voice could belong to anyone else. “I know you must have had a late night, but check in with us when you’re feeling human again.”
If he only knew the truth …

Until I’d had a shower, I wouldn’t feel human again. Flipping on the bathroom light, I recoiled from its glare. I’d have to readjust to the brightness of artificial light. Candlelight was soft, and so forgiving. Looking at myself in the harsh glow of modern lighting, I sensed that I looked different in some way. More grown-up. I turned the shower on and stripped, and it wasn’t until then that I remembered the necklace. My body heat had warmed it. The thin red ribbon curved around my neck, the oval resting just above my breasts. I unknotted the ribbon, flipped the pendant over, and read the inscription once again, even though I had committed it to memory:
Farewell! Thou art too dear for my possessing
. Did Stephen really believe that?

The sting of the hot water spiking from the showerhead seemed almost like an invasion of my body. And in a way, a betrayal. I was washing off all traces of my time with Stephen. I tilted my head back and let the water pour over my hair and face. Hot tears joined with the streaming water, and I allowed myself a bout of uncontrolled weeping.

I dressed—fresh, soft clothes felt wonderful against my skin, no denying it—and headed for the kitchen to make coffee. As I waited for it to brew, I fingered the pendant and thought about the inscription. If I had to guess, I’d say it was the first line of one of Shakespeare’s sonnets. I’d have the rest of my life to work it out. Right now, I simply wanted to treasure it.

After pouring a cup of coffee, I carried it to the kitchen table, where I had an expansive view of the backyard. Daffodils and tulips bloomed profusely all around the boundaries of the yard. The grass was greening, and the crab apple trees showed off their gorgeous pink blossoms. I slid open the patio door and stepped outside. It was a mild day, perfect for a run. I’d call my grandfather afterward.

I went for that run, took a second shower, and made the call. Tears flooded my eyes when I heard my grandfather’s voice. “Hi, Gramps!” It seemed like so long since I’d talked to him.

“Miranda, my dear. Glad to hear you’re among the living.” I loved that he had such old-fashioned manners and called me pet names like “my dear.”

“How are you feeling?” he asked. Not too obvious, but definitely worried about whether I was obsessing over last night’s performance.

“I’ve thought things over today, and I think I have a better grasp of Katherine.”

“Good. She was ‘young and beauteous / Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman.’ Don’t forget that. Katherine was a gentlewoman before she became known as a shrew.”

“There are great subtleties in her character. I understand that now.”
Now that I’ve had a month or so to think it over
.

“Believe in yourself, child. You have the inner strength to get it right.”

“Thanks, Gramps. You’re the best.”

He chuckled. “One more thing. I didn’t know whether I should tell you or not, because they wanted to surprise you, but your mother and father will be in the audience tonight. I thought it would be too great a shock if you happened to spy them in the middle of a big speech.”

“What? But they’re in Rome … aren’t they?”

“They’re flying home to see you play Katherine.”

I bit down hard on my lip, feeling as if I’d been sucker punched.

“I’m sorry. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I pulled in a long breath. “No, you’re absolutely right, Gramps. I would have frozen if I’d seen them, probably forgotten my lines. I’m glad you told me. I’ll do my best to act surprised.”

“Break a leg tonight, my dear.”

“Are you okay?” Macy asked as I stepped into the dressing room and threw down my backpack. She was already wearing her Bianca dress.

I smiled. “I’m fine. Thanks for worrying about me.” I gave her a hug, and when I stepped back, I could see the surprise in her eyes. I was normally not given to hugging. “How was the party?”

“Great, except everybody missed you and kept asking me where you were. John was bummed. Finley was afraid you were sick and Bridget would have to play Katherine.”

“She’d do okay.” I laughed when Macy winced. “I’m feeling better about everything, Mace.”

Her face lit up. “Good! I’m so relieved.” She glanced up at the wall clock. “You better get dressed. It’s only an hour till curtain.”

“I will. One more thing, though. I wanted to tell you how great you were last night. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything afterward. You were enchanting as Bianca, just the way she’s supposed to be.”