Knight Shift (29 page)

Hearing the pain in his voice, she opened the door and said, “I do care a great deal for you… so much it scares me. I know that you’re a killer and my instincts tell me to stay away. Even after being repeatedly warned about keeping my distance and the Logan incident, I secretly couldn’t wait to see you again. Then again, none of this was much of a secret since I blabbed to Casper all about my crush on the neighborhood bad boy.”

“I’m really sorry about that, but I loved hearing that you cared for me. I’ve never heard anyone refer to me with such affection. After all that you’ve been through, I hate that I have, once again, brought you pain. It’s the last thing in the world I wanted to do. Do you hate me now? I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

She paced in front of him and said, “I wish I could say yes, but that would be a complete lie. I can’t hate you, but I’m extremely furious with you.”

“Do you want me to leave? I could stay in a separate room or a separate hotel if that would make you happy.”

Penny stopped, turned to him, and said, “Just the thought of being in this hotel room without you makes me nauseous. If you left, I know that I would be forced to chase you down. In the time we have been together I’ve learned that I can’t do this without you at my side. No one else will do.”

“Please tell me. How can I make it up to you?”

“First, I want you to stay where you are and listen to me.” For the next thirty minutes, she scolded him for the lies and deception. When she started to repeat the same arguments over, she stopped and asked, “Is there anything else that you haven’t told me?”

He said hesitantly, “There is one thing that you need to know. The family planned on telling you after we got back home, but now seems a better time.”

Fearing what he was going to say, she stiffened and prepared for the worst. She took in a deep breath and said, “Go ahead. I’m ready.”

“It’s your blood.”

“What about it?”

“It isn’t normal for a Human.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Do you recall when Sam fixed your arm after the flat tire?”

“Yes.”

“He took in your blood. Even that small amount impacted him for hours.”

With an expression of complete confusion, she asked, “Impacted him? What did it do to him? Did it make him sick?”

“Just the opposite. He said it gave him incredible focus of mind and it honed all of his senses. Susi was also the benefactor of other changes that left her smiling for days. And then when he took your blood the day before we left on this trip—”

She interrupted him and said, “Wait. Sam didn’t take my blood then.”

“After you got the news about your family, you went into shock. You started to get hysterical and Sam took your blood to help put your mind to sleep. It’s one of his gifts. But you were a mess and he had to take a lot more than he had initially planned.”

“What did it do to him?”

“He said it was like life returned to his body. His pulse went up, he got color in his skin, and he even could stand in the sunlight.”

Her eyes grew wide and she asked, “Without getting burned?”

He nodded and said, “I’ve never seen anything like it. The ability stayed with him for a long time before the effect started to finally wear off.”

“But why would my blood cause this?”

“We don’t know.” After deliberating on whether he wanted to tell her everything, he decided no secrets so he added, “You need to know that for Changelings, especially those like Sam and Susi, your blood is worth more than gold. Many long to be more Human, even if for a short period of time, and would do whatever it takes to get it. This means the effects from your blood must remain secret or you’ll be hunted.”

“You’ve taken my blood. Did it have any effect on you?”

“For me, your blood is like pure warmth. I’ve tasted thousands of Humans and Changelings and nothing comes even close to comparing. Sam described it well. It’s like it brings life back to our bodies.”

Dumbfounded by the thought, she replied, “I don’t know what to say.”

“For now, put it out of your mind and know that, even after we return home, I’ll be there to protect you. You’re a part of me now and I won’t allow anyone—even from the Changeling world—to harm one hair on your head or they’ll see just how deadly I can be.”

He spoke with such resolve, she got goose flesh and the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. As she rubbed her arms, she tried to shift the subject and asked, “I’m afraid to ask, but is that the last secret?”

“Yes.”

She asked, “From this point forward, do you promise me that you’ll never lie to me again?”

He nodded. “I promise.”

“Do you also promise never to tell anyone the things you heard me say or do?”

He replied, “Your secrets are safe with me and I’ll never betray your trust again.”

“Okay then.”

He asked in astonishment, “Are you actually forgiving me?”

“I’ll be honest with you. It’s going to take me some time to adjust to these revelations and to learn to trust you again. But Casper, Ice, Jax - - whatever your name is. As I’ve learned recently, life is too short and none of us know what tomorrow will bring. I’ve lost my family, but no amount of embarrassment will make me say goodbye to the best friend that I’ve ever had.” With her voice breaking, she added, “I just couldn’t bear it.”

He replied, “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere until you force me to leave.”

She reached out to him and commanded, “Get up.” He took the hand she offered and she led him to the side of the bed. She pointed and said, “Go sit with your back against the headboard.”

He had no idea what she was planning, but wasn’t about to question her. He did as instructed and, once he was in place, she said, “Although Casper never responded to me in any way, his presence alone was a great source of comfort. He’s an important part of my life and I need him so badly my heart aches. I was about ready to insist that we race home so that I could feel the tingling sensation of his presence. Now he’s come here to my rescue. So…” While waving her arms she said, “…do your invisible thing. Become Casper.”

Calling on his own form of magic, he instantly disappeared.

She got on the bed and, once she felt where he was, she crawled onto his lap. She wanted to lie against him so she reached out to determine where his head was. When she heard a grunt, she realized that she had accidently poked him in the eye. She quickly apologized by saying, “I’m sorry.”

With a slight chuckle, he replied, “It’s okay. I have a spare.”

“I just needed my best friend to hold me.”

Seeing her uncertainty of how to approach her task, he helped her get into position and lean against his chest. He then wrapped his arms around her.

Being in the presence of Casper had always been pleasant for Penny. That sensation was increased a thousand fold when she physically touched him when he was invisible. As her body filled with the tingling, she melted onto him.

After Penny’s body finally relaxed, Casper whispered, “Do you want to know what I learned is your greatest gift?” After a short pause, he said, “Your greatest gift is that you bring out the good in everyone—even in someone like me. I’m a better man because of it.”

Penny’s heart warmed at his words.

After several quiet moments, he pleaded, “Talk to me, Penny.” Casper had missed hearing her voice.

At first she didn’t know what to say but, as she began to talk about the day’s events, the mental flood gate opened. Jax closed his eyes and silently listened as Penny openly shared all that was on her mind—her continued anger at him, her embarrassment for all of the things he had seen her do at night, her growing relationship with his family, the death of her family, and her fear of a future alone.

After several hours in Casper’s arms, Penny released her captive audience and allowed Jax to return to his fully visible form. Since neither of them had eaten all day, they sat at the food table Jax had previously prepared. Opening up to Casper again helped Penny to start tearing down the self-imposed mental cage she had built around herself and gave her a burst of energy. Jax was thrilled that she hadn’t rejected him and he enjoyed watching her eat until she couldn’t force down another bite.

As Penny cleared away all of the empty food containers, she asked, “Does your family know about how you feel about me?”

“Ben can sense my feelings and yours, so he knows. The twins are clueless to everything. Every time I call home I have to convince them that I’m not going to kill you.”

Penny was touched by the twins’ concern for her and she said, “I love those two fur balls as well.” After a moment to ponder on all of the questions she wanted to ask Jax, she said, “Obviously you know a great deal about me, but I know so little about you. Would you be willing to share with me things about yourself?”

“I’ll tell you what I can, but be prepared. Much about me isn’t pleasant.”

“But I think I should learn more about the person I’m going to marry.” Seeing his shocked expression, she flashed her ring at him and laughed.

The sound warmed his heart and he said with a smirk, “Ask away, wife to be.”

She smiled at his attempt at humor. Not sure where to start, she asked, “How do you go invisible?”

“I’m not exactly sure the science behind it, but it has something to do with bending light. It’s not so much that I go invisible, you just see around me as if I wasn’t there.” After a moment’s pause, he asked, “You’re the only person that has ever been able to sense my presence. I know that you can’t see me, but what do you sense when I’m Casper?”

“It’s hard to describe. Besides the tingling that I feel on my skin, it’s like an overwhelming sensation that I’m being watched, but not in a bad way. It’s more like I’m being observed by someone I trust implicitly. It’s actually an amazing feeling. Does your family know that you have this skill? The twins never mentioned it.”

“No one knows except you. They think I can move very fast. As a hunter, being able to become invisible is invaluable. But if my enemies knew the truth, they might be able to turn my advantage into a disadvantage.”

“I actually understand and, although I think you should confide in your family, I’ll leave that up to you. I won’t tell anyone.” She wasn’t sure if he was willing to talk about his darker side, but she asked, “You remain you when in your Casper form, but what about when in your other form? Do you remember everything you do?”

“Yes. Think of a time when you’ve lost your temper and the anger within you comes forward. My shifted form is my inner anger, except mine takes on a different physical shape and strength. I have one mind and, although I often regret my actions when I’m in this anger state, it’s me controlling what I do or don’t do and I have no one to blame for the results but me. Other Changelings may say that they had no control over themselves when what’s hidden inside them comes forward, but I think that’s an excuse so that they can blame their actions on someone else. The power we gain in these states can be very intoxicating.”

Penny pondered for a moment and asked, “I wonder what my hidden nature would be if I was a Changeling?”

“I don’t know, but I’m sure that it would be spectacular and you would be one of a kind.”

As she looked down at the food on the table, she decided to change the topic and asked, “All the food you have bought are things I like to eat. What do you prefer to eat?”

“I don’t have any favorites. Food is something I eat because I need it. Until spending time with you, I never really did it just for pleasure. I’m learning to look at food differently.”

“When you’re in your shifted form, do you eat other animals?”

“I can eat in my animal form and I do when the situation forces it, but I prefer to eat in my Human form.”

Rubbing a bite mark she said, “I know that Ice craves the taste of blood.”

“Especially yours. But unlike Susi and Sam, I don’t need to drink blood to survive. It helps recharge me after shifting between forms and, when in my shifted form, it helps me maintain focus and control. I also enjoy it—even when in my Human form.” Trying to judge her reaction to the news, he asked, “Does it bother you that I like blood?”

She shook her head. “I want to get to know everything about you. You’re part animal so I’m not surprised that you like the taste of blood. Do you have to kill to feed?”

“No, but I must be honest and tell you that killing and drinking blood often go hand in hand for me. It’s easier to cover my tracks that way.”

“Except with me?”

“You’re the exception to just about all of my rules.”

When another question popped in her mind, she asked, “What blood type do you like best?”

He laughed, not expecting that question. “It isn’t so much a blood type. It’s the scent.”

She pondered for a moment and then asked, “Does your animal like the scent of my blood?”

He nodded. “Without a doubt, it’s his favorite. You should know that there’s another reason that I drink someone’s blood.”

“What’s that?”

“Once I’ve taken someone’s blood it leaves a lingering bond. It allows my animal side to track that individual no matter where he or she went.” Since he was being honest he added, “I often used this on my enemies. I would bite them to take in their blood. Then I would make them run so that my animal side could chase them down to elongate my enjoyment for both the hunt and the kill.”

She nodded her understanding as if she was learning about an interesting subject in school. “Since you have my blood in you, does that mean that if I got lost, you could find me?”

“Your blood? I could follow your trail even if you were many miles away. Actually, I’m not sure there’s a limit for you.”

“Why is my blood so different?”

“I wish I knew.”

“I’ll admit that I like the idea that you can track me. I find it very comforting.”

He let out a laugh and said, “I can honestly say that you’re the only one on this planet that feels that way.”

“How long does the tracking effect last?”

“Depends on how much I’ve taken and the individual in question. Whenever I’m in town, I take a small amount of blood from Sam and the others at least every couple of weeks to keep my senses honed to their scents.”

“You really do care for them.”

Jax thought carefully about what Penny said and replied honestly, “I do. More than they know.”

“Maybe when we get back you can fix that.”

He nodded, knowing it was time to fix many things once he was home.

While Jax’s mind was on those back in Oregon, Penny interrupted his thoughts by asking, “If you don’t get any blood for an extended period of time, what happens?”

“I get cranky.”

“I would imagine that isn’t pleasant. I want you to know that while we’re on this trip, if you or your animal ever needs blood, you can have mine.”

“I’m thrilled by your understanding of my needs, but you don’t have to let me bite you to satisfy my cravings.”

“You may not believe this, but I love feeling your bite. Other than the initial prick the sensation is extremely pleasant. And I absolutely love knowing a part of me is in you. By the way, you’ve bitten me several times now and I don’t feel weak. Shouldn’t I?”

“That’s because your blood is quite potent and I only need a little to satisfy my cravings.”

“If that’s true, do you think that if you took a little from me each day, you wouldn’t need to go out to find another source?”

“It might.”

“Then let’s make that a part of our new daily routine. It takes care of your needs and ensures that you’ll always be able to find me. To keep this secret from the world, we’ll have to use less exposed areas on me so that I don’t have to explain the bite marks.”

Hearing her speaking so calmly, he replied, “I have to tell you that your responses are shocking the hell out of me. You’re the only one that accepts the realities of my darker side with such enthusiasm.”

“I don’t know how else to respond. It’s part of the way you are and I have no right to judge. I’m addicted to lingerie…explain that one. Speaking of embracing all of you, I’ve gotten to know both Casper and Jax. Do you think that someday I can get to know your darker side, Ice?”

“Ah, let’s not push it and take this one day at a time.” The thought of Penny directly interacting with his shifted nature made him cringe.

She walked over to him and, with her face inches away, she stared through his eyes to the one hidden within and said playfully, “Hello to the cranky side of Ice. If you can hear me in there, I want you to know that I’ll be anxiously waiting to get to know you better whenever you’re ready.” She kissed him affectionately on the tip of his nose.

For the rest of day, they stayed together in the room sharing things about themselves. Although Penny naturally did most of the talking, Jax tried to open up as much as he was able. The concept of opening himself to another was awkward and uncomfortable for him. To him it felt like ripping open a gaping wound but, with Penny’s encouragement and nonjudgmental reactions, he found himself sharing things with her that he hadn’t even acknowledged to himself before.

They continued to talk late into the night and fell asleep contentedly wrapped in each other’s arms.