L8r, G8r (23 page)

SnowAngel:

hey, zo. did you hear how jerky maddie's parents r being?

SnowAngel:

are you there? or are you at doug's?

SnowAngel:

if you're at doug's, you can STILL text me back, you know.

SnowAngel:

*shakes it off* tomorrow's another day, full of fresh beginnings and root-beer-y goodness. bye!

mad maddie:

WHO won the chugging contest?

SnowAngel:

YOU did!

mad maddie:

and WHO won the victory lap belching contest?

SnowAngel:

YOU did!

mad maddie:

das rite, cuz i da king

SnowAngel:

i take it yr feeling better?

mad maddie:

well blow me down. reckon maybe i am.

SnowAngel:

hurray! and da crowd goes wild!!!!!

SnowAngel:

i've come up with a plan to pay jana back for her slut-meister remark, hee hee hee.

mad maddie:

r you sure you want to keep going with this, a? you saw what she did to me when i didn't let it go.

SnowAngel:

which is exactly why i REFUSE to let it go. i am NOT letting her feel all high and mighty, like we're just going to roll over and play dead like that poor bird.

mad maddie:

ah, christ. what do you have up your sleeve?

SnowAngel:

not telling *hunches shoulders and rubs hands together like mad scientist*

mad maddie:

have you decided that you enjoy being devious, angela? are you gonna enter into a life of crime?

SnowAngel:

i dunno. think they have a “life of crime” major at UGA?

mad maddie:

yeah, it's called poli-sci

SnowAngel:

was that some kind of political joke? cuz you know i don't get political jokes.

mad maddie:

oh lordie

SnowAngel:

but since we're talking about college … what about you and santa cruz? is your mom being more normal?

mad maddie:

i talked to zo during our free, and her theory is that the moms is scared to let me go. that the whole me-going-away-to-college thing is a big deal for her, and that's why she's being such a snot.

SnowAngel:

but you're 18 years old, you have to live your life.

mad maddie:

i know, that's what i said.

SnowAngel:

so yr gonna go to santa cruz? for sure?

mad maddie:

well, i haven't sent in my “statement of intent to register,” but i will.

SnowAngel:

i'd have thought you would have mailed that baby back the second you got it.

mad maddie:

i have until may 1st

mad maddie:

when are you supposed to hear from georgia?

SnowAngel:

WE are supposed to hear from georgia by april 1st (you applied too, remember!)

SnowAngel:

zoe's supposed to hear from kenyon and princeton around then too.

mad maddie:

i kinda wish it would just slow down, don't you?

SnowAngel:

*faints dead away*

SnowAngel:

what happened to “hasta la vista, baby” and “i can't wait to get out of this dump”?

mad maddie:

that's all still true. that doesn't mean it has to happen tomorrow.

SnowAngel:

omg, yr growing sentimental in your old age!

mad maddie:

what?! no i'm not.

SnowAngel:

wait till i tell zoe! you ARE gonna miss us, aren't you?

mad maddie:

jesus, angela … more than you can possibly know.

SnowAngel:

*hold out arms* c'mere, ya goof!

mad maddie:

no thx

SnowAngel:

c'mere! *clasps maddie to chest and rocks back and forth*

mad maddie:

erm, i'm leaving now. i'm freeing myself from your clasp and leaving, k?

SnowAngel:

bye, you old darling! mwah!!!

zoegirl:

angela, i just saw maddie in the hall. she told me you're starting the jana war again. i am *not* happy about this!

SnowAngel:

i'm downloading fake health service letterhead as we speak.
but don't worry, it's “for entertainment purposes only.” *throws back head and laughs*

zoegirl:

angela, stop! this has gone on long enough!!!

SnowAngel:

oh piddle

SnowAngel:

don't you wanna hear what i'm gonna do with this fake health service letterhead?

zoegirl:

NO. i'm serious, angela. what if peaches sees what you're printing? you could get expelled!

SnowAngel:

peaches LUVS me. i can do anything i want, cuz i tell her how fabulous her book displays are.

SnowAngel:

and now, your attn plz. *clears throat and shakes out paper* “Dear Ms. Whitaker, It has come to our
attention that an outbreak of gonorrhea has been traced to your recent sexual activity. Please call our clinic at your earliest convenience to discuss treatment options. You will also need to set up an apppointment with our on-site counselor, who can help you come up with an action plan to cut back on your slutty behavior. This is a matter of the utmost concern.”

zoegirl:

oh angela

SnowAngel:

i know!!! c'est magnifique!

zoegirl:

the health service would never use the word “slutty.” if anything, they'd say “promiscuous.”

SnowAngel:

ooo, thanks for the tip

zoegirl:

angela!

SnowAngel:

what? jana made a comment suggesting that i don't “put out” enough. fine. i'm just suggesting that being a slut isn't necessarily the way to go, either.

zoegirl:

please don't send it to her. please?

SnowAngel:

who said anything about sending it to her? i'm gonna print up multiple copies and accidentally-on-purpose drop them in various school bathrooms.

SnowAngel:

it's a hard job, but someone's gotta do it!

mad maddie:

IT'S SPRING BREAK!!! WOOT!!!!!

zoegirl:

i feel like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders! except for the fact that i still have to go to tennessee with my parents, who are going to drive me insane. and except for the fact that yes, i saw angela's health service handiwork, which means that everyone in the school saw, which means that jana once again is going to be on the warpath.

zoegirl:

but except for that, i feel so much better!

mad maddie:

let it go, baby. just let it all go.

zoegirl:

right, you're so right. and as a reward for getting thru another tough week, i treated myself to big bunny episode #3.

mad maddie:

“as a reward for getting thru another tough week”? is that really how you operate?

zoegirl:

you say that as if it's weird. do you think it's weird?

mad maddie:

i just think you should give yourself rewards any time you feel like it.

zoegirl:

but then they wouldn't be rewards. they would just be … random good things.

mad maddie:

and the problem is …?

zoegirl:

you have your pop-tarts and dr pepper; i have my rewards. okay?

mad maddie:

whatevs

mad maddie:

so you saw that lulu DID bring big bunny a kitty, hmmm?

zoegirl:

yes. and when susie told lulu to take the kitty back, big bunny told that horrible story about “another” susie who sold herself to the devil and had a pet hell-hound.

mad maddie:

ah, yes. and then the faux susie repented at the last second and went to heaven. a classic morality tale.

zoegirl:

i do like ol' susie

mad maddie:

cuz you have good taste. she is a prophet of the modern times.

zoegirl:

let's do something tonight, want to? just you and me and angela, since we won't see each other for a week. i might not even have a cell signal, because my grandparents live in the boonies!

mad maddie:

i think that's a great idea. you sure doug won't mind?

zoegirl:

don't be silly. let's meet at angela's so we can play with the chicks. i'll call and tell her we're heading over!