L8r, G8r (24 page)

SnowAngel:

hello, hello, sleepy maddie! i know you're awake! admit it!

mad maddie:

i'm poking around on pinterest before going to bed. pinterest is the devil, you know. do i *need* to know how to turn an ordinary can of V-8 juice into a charming and folksy lantern? no. do i suddenly feel an intense craving to turn an ordinary can of V-8 into a folksy lantern? yes.

SnowAngel:

do you have any cans of V-8 lying around?

mad maddie:

what are you, nuts? why wld i have cans of V-8 lying around?

SnowAngel:

as I suspected.

SnowAngel:

so, moving on, that was fun tonight, huh? i love you guys with every single bit of my heart, and sometimes i feel like we haven't been making enough time for each other. i'm so glad zoe suggested it!

mad maddie:

did you like how it turned out that doug was out with HIS buds, and that's why she was available all of a sudden?

SnowAngel:

i'm not gonna quibble. but yeah, i did notice when she let that slip.

SnowAngel:

oh well, we got to have her all to ourselves. that's all that matters.

mad maddie:

you, me, zo, and the collective squishy.

SnowAngel:

speaking of … are you sure they can't come live with you over break? pretty please with chicken feed on top?

mad maddie:

no can do, the moms has all these spring-cleaning plans that don't involve 11 baby chicks.

SnowAngel:

well, have you called your brother yet to see if he and pelt-woman can take them?

mad maddie:

chill, i'll call them in the morning. yr not leaving till sunday!

SnowAngel:

be sure to tell them how extremely cute and lovable they are! and how hugging a chicken is good for your soul!

mad maddie:

will do. catch ya on the flip side, homie!

SnowAngel:

uh oh

mad maddie:

uh oh, what-oh?

SnowAngel:

well …

SnowAngel:

i crashed the jeep

mad maddie:

WHAT?

SnowAngel:

but not bad! just a little! *holds thumb and forefinger verrrry close together*

mad maddie:

angela! u ok?

SnowAngel:

i'm fine, but before i go any further, you need to know that honestly, it wasn't my fault. it was aunt sadie's. she's the one who ordered “The Firm.” “The Firm” is this set of exercise DVDs she's been wanting, and it arrived today.

mad maddie:

what happened to pole-dancing? didn't she just buy that ridiculous pole thing?

SnowAngel:

a girl needs variety in her exercise routine—that's what she said. plus the pole was giving her bruises.

mad maddie:

ack, didn't really wanna hear that

mad maddie:

so what does this have to do with crashing your jeep?

SnowAngel:

well, the mailman left aunt sadie's package at the end of the driveway by the mailbox, which he shouldn't have done. he's supposed to bring it to the door.

SnowAngel:

omg, it's the POSTMAN'S fault!

mad maddie:

dude. WHAT HAPPENED?!

SnowAngel:

so i was driving back from jamba juice, and there was aunt sadie's package, just sitting by the side of
the road. being the good niece that i am, i thought i'd bring it to the house.

SnowAngel:

so i opened the door of the jeep and leaned down to get it.

SnowAngel:

and …

SnowAngel:

well …

mad maddie:

yes?

SnowAngel:

i kinda fell out

mad maddie:

you “kinda” fell out?

SnowAngel:

ok, i DID fall out, the jeep is very high off the ground! you know that!

SnowAngel:

and it was still in gear, and of course aunt sadie's driveway *wld* go downhill, so there i was sprawled on my butt while the jeep rolled along on its merry way!

mad maddie:

oh, angela

SnowAngel:

i was like, wait! come back!

mad maddie:

and …?

SnowAngel:

it ran into the garage door

SnowAngel:

it's not TOO banged up, mainly just the fender. and there's a big dent in the garage door. but logan is so pissed!

mad maddie:

why? it's not HIS car.

SnowAngel:

he's just … i dunno. he thinks i wasn't being careful enough. i thought he would laugh when i told him—i honestly did—but he got all silent on the other end of the phone and then said, “see? this proves that you don't care as much about me as i care about you.”

mad maddie:

cuz you wrecked the jeep?

SnowAngel:

i know!

mad maddie:

i mean, it's true what he said, but that's kinda a random connection to make.

SnowAngel:

i was like, “logan, this has nothing to DO with you!” it's so exhausting, soothing his ego all the time.

SnowAngel:

anyway, he's gonna take the jeep to this guy his uncle knows who does body work, which i do appreciate.

mad maddie:

unbelievable

SnowAngel:

i know, he's taking offense over NOTHING

mad maddie:

no, unbelievable that he's coming over, BAM, to fix the jeep for you.

mad maddie:

doesn't that make you feel bad, angela? doesn't it make you feel icky inside?

SnowAngel:

well …

SnowAngel:

hmmm. *gazes off with look of unresolved anguish*

mad maddie:

???

mad maddie:

what do YOU have to be anguished about?

SnowAngel:

logan's part of this relationship too, you know. if he thinks i don't care enough, then he should break up with me!

mad maddie:

have you told him that?

SnowAngel:

i scraped my knee on the driveway, i'll have you know, i could have lost a limb!

mad maddie:

good lord

SnowAngel:

yes, and yr being a big poopy pants for not being more sympathetic.

SnowAngel:

but lookie here, logan just pulled up—so i guess i'll go to HIM for solace and comfort. at least he'll give me the attention i deserve!

mad maddie:

and what will you give him?

SnowAngel:

i'll give him … a great big hug!

SnowAngel:

*thumbs nose at friend and flounces off*

SnowAngel:

make that *LIMPS*!

SnowAngel:

*hobbles back to bedroom* *drops onto bed*

SnowAngel:

i forgot to ask due to all the trauma. did mark and pelt-woman say they'd take the squishies?

mad maddie:

maybe

SnowAngel:

did they???

mad maddie:

yes, IF you can get them to them. but how are you gonna deliver them, huh?

SnowAngel:

i will very nicely ask logan to drop them off after he takes care of the jeep. so there!

zoegirl:

angela! i wanted to make sure i said good-bye before you left!

SnowAngel:

i was just emailing pelt-woman instructions on taking care of the squishies. i sent written notes with logan, but i wanted to add a few small details, like that the smallest squishy really likes music, anything by taylor swift.

SnowAngel:

what's up with you?

zoegirl:

i'm kinda wired. i just gave doug his very first blow job.

SnowAngel:

*falls backward out of computer chair*

SnowAngel:

WHAT?!!

zoegirl:

it was a going-away present, since i won't see him for a week. i feel so proud of myself!

SnowAngel:

well, for sure. you can list it right up there with your other accomplishments: straight As, honor council, giving head …

zoegirl:

it wasn't all that fun for *me*, but i think he really liked it, and that made me happy.

zoegirl:

but my jaw got really tired.

zoegirl:

have you ever given logan a blow job?

SnowAngel:

no, and i don't plan 2. i have … odor issues.

zoegirl:

hmm. yes, i can see that.

zoegirl:

but i was just like, “this is doug, and i love him.”
and i hope you don't think it's bad that i'm talking about all this, i just needed someone to process it with! i mean, it's a really big deal!

SnowAngel:

sweetie, of course

SnowAngel:

anyway, he prolly talks to his friends about what you guys do and don't do, don't you think?

zoegirl:

oh god, he better not!

SnowAngel:

so: spit or swallow?

zoegirl:

i swallowed, but i don't think i'm going to next time. i'll just tell him very politely so he's not offended.

SnowAngel:

erm, i bet he'll be ok with it. what's he gonna say, “nuh uh, no way! in that case, no blow jobs for YOU, missy!”

zoegirl:

i don't *want* a blow job

SnowAngel:

you know what i mean

zoegirl:

doug tried to go down on me (geez, that sounds dorky), but i was like, “no no no no no. that's ok.”

SnowAngel:

why?

zoegirl:

like you said, the whole odor thing. but in reverse. ack, i'm blushing just talking about it!

SnowAngel:

what about plain old sex? if yr embarrassed to have him go down on you, won't you be embarrassed to have sex?

zoegirl:

that's different

zoegirl:

but … maybe

zoegirl:

i'll cross that bridge when i come to it, which i guess will be soon, because pill-wise i'm one day away from being safe. can you believe it? but i leave for tennessee tomorrow, so there goes that good timing.

SnowAngel:

which means you'll have more time to get ready.

zoegirl:

exactly

zoegirl:

i'm gonna go brush my teeth (again!), and then i'm going to bed. and then i won't see you for a week! sad!

SnowAngel:

no worries. we'll be reunited soon!!!