Ladyfish (18 page)

Oz could feel her desire growing, and as the last notes faded away, she lowered her lips to Finn’s, before leading them back to their seats. They sat and sipped their drinks.

Oz leaned forward in her seat, worrying the label from her beer bottle.

“Are you all right? You’ve gone all fidgety on me. Are you angry?”

“Angry about what? Maggie?”

“Yeah.”

“No, I’m not angry, not with you or with her. I am a little bit worried though.”

“About what?”

“Well, everything she said to you was true.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“She didn’t lie to you.”

“I don’t think for a moment that she did. That still doesn’t make everything she said true. She said that I’d be better off with her. That isn’t true, clearly.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do, Oz. I wasn’t interested in her in any way. I didn’t look at her and want to talk to her or hear what she had been doing all day, and I definitely didn’t want to hold her hand and sit next to her just watching TV. I had no desire at all to cook for her, just to see her smile. And I definitely didn’t want her to drive my car.” She trailed her finger down Oz’s neck as she continued speaking softly. “I had no urge whatsoever to do that to her. Or this.” She planted her lips against Oz’s neck and left a trail of kisses in her wake. “Or this.” She flicked her tongue across the skin below her lips, and Oz shivered and tried to keep still. “And I definitely didn’t look at her and want to do this.”

Finn pulled her face closer and pressed her lips hard against Oz’s, taking her mouth with an intensity that surprised them both. Oz moaned as Finn probed her mouth. Finn plunged her tongue deep into Oz’s mouth, searching, exploring, and teasing. Oz battled down her urge to take control, balling her fists against her thighs to stop herself from wrapping her arms around Finn’s back and tugging her closer. She wanted to feel Finn’s breasts pressed against her own. Only the desperate need for oxygen forced them apart. They were both breathing heavily as Finn placed kisses across Oz’s cheek and whispered into her ear. “You haven’t lied to me either, Oz. I might not have any experience, but I’m not stupid. Nor am I a child.” She kissed Oz’s ear and sucked gently on her earlobe, making her tremble. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like. I know what I’m getting into here.” She trailed her tongue along the outer edge of Oz’s ear. “Do you?”

Oz grasped her shoulders and, unable to take the teasing anymore, she held her still as she moved to whisper in her ear.

“I’m pretty damn sure that I don’t have the first clue what I’m getting into here.” She sucked Finn’s earlobe, returning the favor and delighted at the sensation of Finn shivering beneath her lips. “It feels delicious, doesn’t it?”

“Yes.” Finn’s voice was barely more than a whisper, a fact that pleased Oz immensely.

She trailed her tongue along the edge of her ear. “You feel like you’re burning even as you shiver, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“I think we should dance.”

Finn seemed dazed as she pulled away and led her back on to the floor. They started moving to the beat, and Oz found herself mesmerized as Finn relaxed and let her body move to the music. The gentle sway of her hips in time to the beat was hypnotic, weaving a sensuous spell around her. Oz watched, barely moving as Finn’s own hands ran across her torso, her hips, through her hair. Oz struggled to keep her feet moving in time to the music, since all she wanted to do was watch Finn’s body move.

Her breath caught in her chest as Finn took hold of her hand and pulled them closer together. She wrapped one arm about her waist, and the other hand slid from Oz’s shoulder into her hair. Her fingernails scratched gently at her scalp as she continued to move against her.

Several dances and drinks later, they walked out of the bar and waited outside for a cab. Finn ran her hand down the length of Oz’s spine.

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

“A wonderful first date.”

“You’re welcome. But it’s not quite finished yet.”

“No? What’s left?”

“You’ll see.” Oz helped her into the cab and cradled her against her side as Finn leaned her head on Oz’s shoulder. The rocking motion of the car soon had Finn dozing against her, and Oz couldn’t help replaying the evening in her mind. Her anger when Maggie had her hands on Finn, and her desire to forcibly remove them. She’d worked hard for a long time to avoid any situation where she wasn’t in control. Her career in the navy had taught her the importance of that, if nothing else. Nightmares of the few moments where she had lost control still haunted her. It didn’t matter that she’d been cleared by her superiors and that her actions were deemed necessary. What mattered were the blood-covered faces of the men she had killed and the comrades she had lost along the way. That was what losing control meant. It meant losing people, losing friends. It meant losing people she cared about. She laid her head on top of Finn’s and acknowledged that she already cared too much to stay away from Finn. Her reaction to Maggie was all the confirmation she needed to prove that. She closed her eyes and took a long breath.
What the hell am I going to do now?

“I think I had too much to drink.”

“Ah, so my plan to get you drunk and have my wicked way with you is working.”

Finn laughed. “Is that the plan?” She stumbled sleepily toward the house. Oz caught up with her at the front door.

“No, that isn’t the plan. If the time comes when we sleep together, I want you to be completely aware. No alcohol involved. I want you to know every time I touch you. I want you to feel every kiss and caress, but most importantly, I want you to feel every emotion that goes with it. Both of us. I want to make love to you, Finn, when we are both ready. Not when you’re drunk.”

“So if that isn’t the plan, what’s left for our first date?” Her voice was husky with desire and emotion.

Oz moved closer and lowered her head. “The good night kiss, of course.” She closed the distance between them and let her hands slide up Finn’s arm, smiling as goose bumps erupted under her fingertips. She loved the way Finn trembled as she skimmed across her shoulders and slowly traced the length of her throat and the underside of her jaw before she kissed her. Gently at first, and then Finn moaned and wrapped her fingers into Oz’s hair, pulling her closer. The fire ignited in Oz’s belly as Finn moaned into her mouth and threaded her arms about Oz’s neck. She pressed Finn against the door, one hand went to her waist and the other her shoulder. She couldn’t resist the urge to explore a little and trailed her fingertips upward, brushing the material of Finn’s dress against her ribs, stopping just below her breast. She slipped her other hand softly into Finn’s hair and caressed her scalp, loving the way Finn moved against her as she scratched her fingernails over the sensitive skin.

She needed to touch Finn everywhere; her hands were greedy in the desire to explore as she traced her fingertips down Finn’s neck, across her chest and slowly along the edge of the plunging neckline. Finn trembled against her and started to move her hands down Oz’s back. Oz tore her mouth from Finn’s and trailed kisses down her throat while her fingers closed the distance to Finn’s breast. She drew one fingertip across the raised bump of her hardening nipple and smiled against her skin as Finn moaned and arched into her touch. The hands at Oz’s back drifted lower, squeezing her ass and pulling her closer. Finn’s apparent desire only served to further enflame her own until she couldn’t stop herself from pushing her thigh between Finn’s legs and pulling their hips flush together. Oz moaned as Finn’s hips moved slowly against her leg. It was sheer willpower that kept her from lifting Finn’s legs and wrapping them around her body. She wanted to feel Finn’s desire on her skin. To smell the sweet musk that she was sure would be waiting for her.

Finn tugged Oz’s shirt out of her pants and traced patterns over the small of her back; teasing up and down her spine, along her sides, stopping short of the outer edge of her breasts every time. Oz drew her fingers across Finn’s shoulder, her lips trailing in their wake until Finn grabbed her hand and laid it upon her own breast. Oz gladly took the hint and gently squeezed, flicking her thumb over the hard nipple. She pulled back slightly and the hungry look on Finn’s face made her breath catch. She could neither stop nor gentle the kiss she wanted, her tongue plunging into Finn’s mouth, exploring every inch of her, eager to know every ridge and valley. She pushed her hands down Finn’s sides, gripping her hips and pulling her tighter against her thigh; her knees threatened to buckle under her when Finn ground down on her and trembled. Oz knew she was at her own limit; they were both breathing fast and hard, desire mounting, and the need to feel skin was becoming more and more difficult to deny. Oz was determined to keep her promise though and began to reduce the ardent passion of their kisses until they broke apart gasping and Oz wrapped Finn in a strong embrace and waited while they both caught their breath.

“Good night, Finn.” She pulled away slowly and backed down off the porch. Their eyes locked as Finn stood with her back to the door. She was gripping the handle like it was the only thing keeping her on her feet, her breathing was still ragged, and her hand visibly trembled as she lifted it to wave.

“Good night, Oz.” Finn’s voice was husky, her desire clearly evident as she pushed the door open behind her and disappeared inside. Oz stood staring, unable to make her feet move as fear gripped her. She cast her eyes heavenward and sucked in a deep breath before doing something she hadn’t done since she was a small child. She prayed for patience.

She slowly managed to turn around and walk to her own house, knowing sleep wouldn’t come easily to her. Arousal coursed through her veins, each beat of her heart only making the situation worse. Walking away from Finn, even just until the morning, was so much harder than she had expected. Despite her words, what she really wanted to do was walk Finn to her bed, slowly peel away her dress, and cover her body with kisses. She wanted to feel Finn’s skin react beneath her tongue, to taste her. She wanted desperately to please her and hear her name whispered from Finn’s lips as she came. Oz changed into her running shorts and quickly tied on her sneakers before heading out the door again, uncertain if she was running to conquer her desire or her fear.

The incessant ringing of Finn’s cell phone woke her up. She cracked one eyelid and stared blindly at the alarm clock beside her bed as she grabbed the handset and brought it to her ear.

“What time is it?”

“Daniela, it’s nine o’clock in the morning.”

“Dad!” She shot bolt upright in bed, her eyes wide open. She glanced at the clock again. Four a.m. “It’s actually four in the morning here. Is something wrong?”

“Not at all. I just thought I’d give you a call. Is that a problem?”

“Not at all. It’s just unusual. Normally, you have Susan call me.”

“I noticed that you checked out of the hotel, and I wondered if there was a problem.”

Finn sighed. She should have guessed that someone would have their eye on those little details. “No, Dad. I’ve been spending a lot of time with some friends over here and it just made more sense to stay here. We weren’t utilizing the hotel so it made no sense to spend the money just to leave our bags there.” The silence hung in the air.
Shit, he knows I’m lying. Always does. I am the world’s crappiest liar ever.

“That’s fine, Daniela. You must let me know where you’re staying, however.”

“Sure, it’s sixteen—”

He cut her off. “I’ll have Susan call you to get the details from you. I must go now. I have a meeting shortly.”

“Bye—” The line went dead. “Dad.” She threw herself back against the pillow and smacked the phone to her head. She knew Susan wouldn’t call until just before she was leaving the office to make it around lunchtime for Finn. She was kind that way. Finn had never figured out why she worked for her father.

Since sleep was out of the question, she switched on the bedside lamp and grabbed one of her diving books, intent on reading until she felt ready to go back to sleep. But as the cooling sheets covered her body again, memories tugged at the edges of her mind.

Every scene was different. The school nativity aged five. The nanny came to watch that one.
And every event after that, from school plays to graduation, included some employee of her father’s paid to attend. But never her father.

Every memory had the same constant, lingering empty space. The empty space where a parent should have been, filled with a seemingly endless stream of interchangeable strangers.

She folded over the corner of the page and placed the book on the nightstand, knowing full well she would have to read the passage again, having taken in nothing for the past half hour. She looked at the clock beside the bed, the dark red numbers burning into her brain as she turned out the light, closed her eyes, and watched as the digits changed in her mind. 4:30. 4:31. 4:32. 4:33.

Her thoughts drifted slowly away from the loneliness, coming to rest on Oz. What was it that made her so sure she could depend on her? A track record for one-night stands and holiday flings?
About as likely as Pete, based on that history.

A cocky smile and a killer kiss.
What a kiss, though.

She touched her fingertips to her lips, needing to feel the pressure against her skin, the tactile reminder of the desire and pleasure as Oz had kissed her good night, and tenderly caressed her skin. She had longed for it to never end even as her breath faltered and she had to pull away.

I want her. Does it need to be more than that?
Even as she posed the question to herself, she knew the answer. She wasn’t naïve, and she wanted people to take her seriously. And she needed to take her own desires seriously now.

She knew the reason she had waited was more about making sure she could depend on her lover. She needed to know that the woman she loved would be there for all those silly little occasions that meant everything and nothing. The next birthday. And the one after. And the next fifty. Moving homes. Holidays. Laughter. Tears. A hug.