Ladyfish (17 page)

Finn pulled back and stared deep into Oz’s eyes.

“Why do you say that?” The pained look in Oz’s eyes made her heart ache, and she knew that Oz was trying to decide just how much she was going to share. The battle to keep her shutters down was clearly written in the frown marring her beautiful face.

“I’ve never had much trouble finding women to keep me company when I wanted some.”

Oz let her go and sat back against the sofa, and Finn was instantly aware of the distance she put between them. She sensed that Oz needed the physical distance to say the things she needed to, so she sat next to her, careful to maintain the distance.

“I’ve been with a lot of women and not always treated them very well.”

“In what way?”

“Well, I’d go out sometimes looking to hook up with someone, then I’d go back to their place and we’d have sex. I couldn’t even tell you half of their names now. I never dated anyone; it was always just sex. Even if I saw them more than just once, like the tourists here on holidays, I never wanted anything else from them.”

“And they wanted more from you?”

“They deserved more from me.”

Finn cocked her head to the side, considering. “Why?”

“Because no one deserves to be used. But I never thought of it that way until I met you.”

“I agree, but weren’t they using you in exactly the same way? You were all consenting adults.” She shrugged. “Oz, I know the reputation you have. I’ve known that since the day on the dock when you were joking around with Clem and Mac. Let me ask you something. Did you ever lead any of those women to believe that you were looking for a relationship beyond that night, or however long it was?”

“No.”

“Did you ever lie to get anyone into bed with you?”

“No”

“Did you ever force anyone to go to bed with you?”

“God, no. I would nev—”

“I know, Oz. Did you mistreat any of them while you were in bed together?”

“No, they always seemed to enjoy it.”

“It was a one-night stand, or a holiday fling for them too. They may have wanted more.” Finn stroked her cheek. “I know I would, but I’m also pretty damn sure they knew what was on the table before they even kissed you.” She leaned forward and kissed Oz softly. “I don’t think you used those women any more than they used you, and if you all got what you were looking for out of the experience, a night of pleasure, then I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

“Finn, I never wanted anything more than that. When I was in the navy, it was too difficult to even contemplate. I could’ve lost my commission, and I was away so much on assignment it didn’t make sense to look for anything more. But I think that was a convenient excuse. I think that I’m just not cut out for it. For a relationship.”

Finn couldn’t hide the disappointment she felt, and she turned her head away to hide the tears filling her eyes, willing them not to fall.

“I still don’t think that, Finn, but I really like you. I don’t know if I can do this, but I want to try.”

Suddenly, she didn’t care if Oz saw the tears in her eyes; she had to see her face. “What are you saying?”

“I guess I’m asking you to give me a chance. To give us a chance. Even if I can’t make any promises.”

Finn couldn’t find the words to say everything she wanted, to tell Oz that she wouldn’t have said no even if she could have. She closed the distance between them and kissed her, slowly pressing her body against Oz, until the need to breathe pulled them apart.

“I’m going to take that as a yes.”

Finn smiled as Oz tucked her against her body and wrapped her arm around Finn’s shoulders.”Does it bother you?”

Finn frowned slightly in question.

“My reputation? Does it bother you?”

“Does my being a virgin bother you?”

“No!” Oz answered quickly. Too quickly. Finn began to pull away from her, so she wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close. “It doesn’t bother me. Nervous, I suppose, is the best word to describe it.”

“Why?”

“It makes me nervous wondering why you would want someone like me. Nervous, that I’ve never been in a relationship before. I don’t know that I can be someone’s girlfriend, or partner, or anything but someone to warm a bed.”

“Yes, you can. You just don’t know it yet.” She smiled gently. “Everything you’ve done for me. Helping me find somewhere to live, helping me move. What you did today, taking me out to distract me, and taking the time to cheer me up tonight. These are all thoughtful little things that I always thought a wonderful girlfriend would do. You might not believe that just yet, but that’s okay, because I do.”

Oz laughed. “You’re very sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

“No. I’m sure of you. Your reputation doesn’t bother me, Oz. Everyone has a past. And that’s what your reputation is based on. I don’t for one minute believe that you would get involved with someone and then continue to play around. You have too much honor for that.” She cuddled in close before she dropped back to her place on the floor. “I’ve missed all this so far. Can we restart the film?”

Finn pushed herself off the floor and settled on the sofa as Oz restarted the film and sat next to her. She grinned as Oz took her hand, and barely resisted the urge to move closer, as she didn’t want to push further than Oz was comfortable with. She wanted to cuddle up next to her and feel Oz’s arms wrap around her, but was content to feel Oz’s thumb stroking the back of her hand. She refused to let fear control her decisions. She refused to let her own past taint the magical feeling of their first kiss. The whole point of coming here was a fresh start, a new beginning, and that meant letting go of past fears and losses. She trusted Oz. She believed in her enough to push everything out of her head and enjoy the feeling of Oz pulling her closer and holding her through the rest of the movie.

William Sterling saved the document he was working on and shut down his computer as his cell phone started to ring.

“Yes?”

“William, my friend.”

“Masood, it is good to hear from you. How can I help you?”

“I have a question or two for you.”

“Of course.”

“The vaccination is prepared also, is that correct?”

“Yes, but we need a few more days to produce the quantities required—”

“That is your concern, William. Not mine. All I want is the quantity we discussed. There would be very little point in using the bacteria if I am not around to enjoy the deaths of my enemies.”

“The quantity we arranged has been produced.” William smiled as he thought about how he planned to deliver a defective batch of vaccine to Masood and watch him perish like everyone else when he unleashed Balor on the world. The correct vaccine would be sold by Sterling to the rest of the world, after an appropriate amount of time had passed to develop the vaccine, of course. Not a cure. There was no hope for a cure or an effective treatment for those infected either.

“Very good, William. I am looking forward to seeing this in action.”

“As am I.”

He hung up and tossed his phone on the desk. The ‘development’ of the vaccine for Balor would make Sterling Enterprises a fortune overnight. He couldn’t even fathom the full extent of the wealth he would accumulate after this event. The power that would be at his fingertips when the world looked to him as he held in his hands the only way to stop Balor.

Oz knocked on the door of Mrs. Richmond’s house and waited nervously, pulling slightly at the collar of her black shirt, before smoothing her hands down the front.

“Hello, dear. Finn’s nearly ready. Do you want to come in?”

“That’d be great, Mrs. R.” Oz followed her inside and sat on the edge of the sofa.

“Relax, dear. She might be a few more minutes.”

Oz smiled and tried to sit back a little. She couldn’t believe how nervous she felt, and the amused smile on Mrs. Richmond’s face was not helping.

“Hi.”

Oz spun around and watched as Finn walked toward her. Casual wedge sandals graced her feet with black laces crossing her ankles. Her legs were bare to just above the knee where a sapphire blue dress started and caressed each curve of her body. Finn had piled her hair up high on her head, a few loose curls escaping around her face.

“Oz, are you okay?”

Oz smiled and stood, quickly crossing to kiss Finn’s cheek. “You look great. Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, the cab’s here.” A honking from outside alerted them to the arrival of the taxi.

“You planned ahead.”

“It’s my Girl Scout motto.”

“Where are we going?”

“To Pearl’s Patio.”

“Are we going to a garden party?”

Oz laughed as she led Finn outside, waving at Mrs. Richmond as she closed the door behind them. “Pearl’s Patio is a lesbian bar that has karaoke every Saturday night.”

“Are you going to sing for me?

“I think not.” She directed the taxi driver before she sat back and caught Finn’s hand in her own again. Bringing it to her lips, she whispered against her skin. “You look incredible. I knew you were beautiful, but I really didn’t realize how beautiful you are.”

Finn blushed deeply. “I’m glad you think so.”

“Trust me, Finn. I’m going to be beating them off with a stick.”

“You said that when we went to Turtle Kraal’s, and not one person said or did anything even remotely inappropriate.”

Oz placed her arm around Finn’s shoulders as she whispered in her ear. “That’s because when you went to the bathroom I stood up on the table and told everyone that you were mine.”

“You’re so full of crap.”

Oz laughed, kissing Finn’s hand again before moving slightly away from her. Finn’s teasing was already easing her anxiety. She was so focused on making sure Finn had a good time, she realized that she hadn’t thought at all about her own expectations of the evening. She only cared that Finn enjoyed herself and enjoyed them being together. Oz didn’t want to think about why this was so important to her. The possibilities were far too daunting for her to comprehend. The cab ride was short and they could hear the slightly pitchy tones of the vocalist as they opened the door. Oz looked around for a table. Spotting one toward the front, she pointed at it.

“Do you mind sitting near the front?”

“No, that’s fine.

Oz couldn’t help thinking that they’d have to stay close together to talk, and the prospect both thrilled and terrified her. Her desire to be close to Finn, to touch her, warred with her fear of failure and the possibility that she would disappoint her.

“I’ll go grab us a drink. Would you hold the table?”

“Of course.”

“What can I get you to drink?”

“Red wine if they have any. If not, vodka and cranberry juice please.” Oz headed to the bar. Finn had only been sitting a few moments when someone sat next to her. “That was quick.”

“When I see what I like, I don’t like to hang around. It wastes too much time.” The stranger was leaning close enough that Finn moved back slightly.

“My friend has just gone to the bar. She’ll be here any second.”

“But she’s not here now, so I’ll just sit here and talk to you for a while.” The woman had a military style haircut with a barcode tattoo on the side of her neck and another of barbed wire around her bicep. Her hair was so short it was difficult in the low lighting to determine its color. Her leather biker pants and black vest topped off the heavy biker boots and strong odor of alcohol.

“I don’t really feel comfortable sitting here talking to a stranger.”

“I’m Maggie. Now I’m not a stranger.” She stretched her arm along the back of Finn’s chair.

“Look, I’m here on a date.”

“Then she really should stay closer to you.” Maggie’s hand moved to Finn’s shoulder and started to slide toward her neck.

“Maggie. It’s nice of you to come over and say hi, but I’m really here on a date. Oz will be here any second.”

“Oz?”

“Yes.”

“As in Zuckerman?”

“Yes, she’s my date.” Finn’s retort was sharp.

“Dive girl, Oz? I’m sorry, honey. Oz doesn’t date. She’ll buy you a drink before she screws you. Sometimes. But she doesn’t date.”

“Well, you’re mistaken.”

“Honey, I’ve known Oz a long time. Trust me. You’ll be better off with me. I can show you a really good time.”

“Moose, get your hands off her.” Oz felt anger welling in her chest at the sight of another woman with her hands on Finn. Jealousy she had never felt before blossomed in her chest and she fought hard not to grab Maggie and yank her away. The physical urge to come to Finn’s rescue was so foreign it made her hands shake.

“If it isn’t the Wizard of Oz. I was just saying hello to your little friend. What’s your name again, honey?”

“I didn’t tell you. Oz, it’s fine. Maggie was just leaving.”

“Do you know how she got the nickname Wizard of Oz?”

Oz glared at Maggie, but she didn’t back down.

“Because she’s supposed to be magic. But you know what I think? I think she turns out to be a fraud just like the real Wizard of Oz. That’s why you haven’t ever had a girlfriend for more than five minutes, hey, Ladyfish?”

Oz put the drinks on the table and sat in the chair on the other side of Finn. “The bouncer will probably get her to leave any second now. Please, just ignore her.”

“What’s the matter, Oz? Worried your little date will get a better offer?”

Oz continued to ignore Maggie and leaned in closer to Finn. “I told you I’d have to beat them off with a stick.” She placed a tender kiss on Finn’s cheek.

“I think I’m going to throw up.” Maggie grabbed Finn’s hand and placed a rough kiss on it. Oz was about to stand up and take care of things when the bouncer showed up.

“Maggie, shut up and go home.” The bouncer placed a large hand on Maggie’s shoulder and the other under her armpit. She hoisted her out of her seat and away from the table in one swift movement. “Sorry about that, Oz. You know what she gets like sometimes.”

“I do.”

Finn turned back to Oz. “Why did you call her Moose?”

“It’s her nickname. Maggie Moose. Her last name is Caribou. I think she’s had that nickname since she was a kid.” She took a long pull of her drink. “Dance with me?” Oz held her hand out. Finn simply took it and allowed herself to be led to the dance floor a few feet away. As she held Finn in her arms, Oz felt the tension coiled in her body begin to recede. She knew it was irrational, but she couldn’t seem to stop the feelings of jealousy and anger that had exploded within her. She knew she had no right to demand anything of Finn, but she wanted to be the only woman to touch her. She tried not to think about the pleasure she had felt when she heard Finn clearly telling Maggie that she wasn’t interested because she was with Oz. She held on to the feeling of pride that rippled through her and smiled as she pulled Finn’s body closer to her own.