Laughter in the Wind (22 page)

Grandmama had such a stricken look on her face it was clear that a physical blow could not have impacted her more than her granddaughter’s words. Although she opened her mouth to speak, she was unable to respond.

“I love you, Grandmama. Why can’t you love me?” Olivia sobbed and put her head down in Grandmama’s lap.

Grandmama gently stroked Olivia’s hair from her tear-streaked face. “Oh, Olivia,” she soothed her granddaughter. “I love you, I do. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

She urged Olivia up onto the couch between her and Eliza and hugged her fiercely to her. Eliza reached around to hug them both from the other side of Olivia. The three generations of women sat together sharing their sorrow and their tears.

Finally, Grandmama released her granddaughter and dried her eyes. “Now let me be sure I understand what you just told me, Olivia. Tell me what you know and how you know it.”

Olivia explained to Grandmama how she and Rebecca had been investigating the picture from Gran’s photo album. For her mother’s sake she carefully omitted the part about the urn buried at the cemetery. She told her of the events of the preceding weeks, finishing with the meeting that morning with Ralph Dunlop and his confession to them. Grandmama looked anguished when she repeated what he had told her about his attack on Mary.

“Your Gran mentioned a few things that finally make sense, now that I know the whole story.” She frowned as she returned in her mind to some very painful times in her childhood. “I always thought Gran resented me because I lived and MJ, my birth mother, died. She cried herself to sleep nearly every night. I could hear her through the walls. One night I stopped outside her closed door and I heard her saying over and over again, ‘I never should have left her. Why didn’t I stay?’ I thought at the time maybe they had argued and been separated for some time, possibly when MJ got pregnant. I figured Gran had stepped back in when MJ was due to give birth to a child out of wedlock, with little means of support. Instead, she must have felt guilty all of those years for leaving Mary that day in the barn.”

“Gran felt bad that she wasn’t there for you when you needed her,” Eliza explained. “She told me she hadn’t been a good mother, and that she regretted not trying harder. She made me promise to be a better mother than she had been.”

“Thank you for that, Eliza. I’m glad the two of you were close in the years before she passed. This is a lot to take in, dear. I always thought when I was growing up that things would be better if only I had a father. Now I find out I do have a father, but I don’t believe I will ever be able to forgive him. You are right, you know. He destroyed Mother’s life…Jane, that is. I wonder if I was a reminder to her all those years of what happened to Mary, what might have been different if she’d never left her alone.”

Eliza spoke firmly in response. “Mother, you cannot think that. Gran spoke to me of her love for you every day. She felt as much guilt about not being there for you as she did about not being there for MJ. But, who’s to say what Ralph might have done if she had stayed. He was out of his head. He could have killed her, or both of them for that matter. We can’t go back and second guess. What we can do, though, is make sure we don’t make the same mistakes. Olivia is a lesbian. It’s not been easy for her. For her life to be happy, she needs our support, not our hatred.”

Olivia had let her gaze drop to her lap as her mother spoke. Grandmama reached a trembling hand out and placed a finger beneath Olivia’s chin, urging her gently to lift her head. When she could meet her gaze with her own, she held her in place while she said, “Olivia, I am sorry. Your mother is right. I had no right to denounce your friend or your lifestyle. I hope you can forgive a mean old woman.”

Olivia blinked hard and sniffled, then replied. “I forgive you, Grandmama, and I’m sorry I’m not the granddaughter you had hoped for.”

“Nonsense,” was the immediate response. “You are everything I want in a granddaughter.”

Rebecca was beginning to feel a little awkward, as if she were intruding upon a private family moment. Olivia must have sensed her growing unease because she stood and walked to her, pulled her to her feet and hugged her, resting her head on Rebecca’s shoulder and including her in the emotional atmosphere of the living room.

Rebecca could feel the strength returning to Olivia as she stood holding her. The events of the day had shaken her, but the love of her grandmother had helped her to steady herself and rebuild. She was relieved to see a tentative smile on Olivia’s face when she released her.

Grandmama and Eliza had composed themselves as well. Grandmama addressed Rebecca next. “Young lady, maybe I have been hasty in my assessment of you. I apologize for not giving you a chance. You obviously mean a lot to my granddaughter, therefore I will do my best to give you a chance to prove yourself.”

Rebecca wasn’t totally at ease after this apology and felt she would have to be on her best behavior around Grandmama. She wondered what
proving herself
would involve.

“Now,” Grandmama continued, with a sudden change of tone, “I think we’ve had enough tears for today.” She stood up quickly, wiping her eyes one last time to emphasize her point. “I’m hungry. Let’s go to the kitchen and see if we can find some ice cream.”

Eliza started to protest, but Grandmama stopped her with a look. Rebecca understood immediately where Olivia had learned that determined look.

“The doctors be damned!” Grandmama exclaimed. “I will eat ice cream with my granddaughter if I take a mind to do so!” She turned and strode from the room.

Eliza and Olivia looked at each other, shrugged in unison, then turned to follow. Rebecca brought up the rear, laughing softly to herself.

Chapter Eighteen

Rebecca and Olivia stayed for dinner that evening and left shortly afterward. Fatigue from the emotional day was becoming evident in Grandmama’s eyes and the others were tired as well. While Olivia drove them toward her apartment, Rebecca called her mother.

“Hey, Mom,” she responded when Beth answered the phone. “Thought I’d better call and catch you up on all that’s happened.”

“I’m glad you called. Your father and I have been worried. We just got back from Rockford with your car.”

Rebecca was immediately remorseful for causing the concern that was so obvious in her mother’s voice. “Thanks for getting the Buick. I’m staying at Olivia’s apartment tonight and Olivia will drive me home tomorrow or Monday after her final.”

“We’re just glad you made it there in one piece. Next time shoot us a text to let us know you made it,” Beth chided gently.

“Sorry. I’ll try to remember. I guess you’re probably wondering what happened today. I promise we’ll give you all the details when we’re there. For tonight, can I just give you the short version?”

“Sure.”

“We found Ralph Dunlop and he told us he had raped Mary Farthing. He is Olivia’s great-grandfather.” Rebecca didn’t miss Olivia’s quick glance in her direction. The pain and sorrow the old man had caused leapt into her eyes anew at the mention of his name.

Beth gasped at the news. “Oh no! How devastating for Olivia!”

“Yeah. That’s why I needed to drive her back to the city. She confronted her grandmother with what she had learned and pretty much insisted that Grandmama stop the cycle of hate he started. I think Olivia got through to her. We just left her house and she gave me a good-bye hug.” Rebecca had been shocked when Grandmama had approached her and very stiffly placed her hands on her shoulders and leaned toward her. They had nearly touched cheeks together, but Grandmama had carefully retained a thin but definite boundary around herself.

“Good. That sounds promising. Tell Olivia I’m so happy she’s made up with her grandmother.” Beth sounded sincerely pleased with the news.

Rebecca repeated the words to Olivia.

“Thanks, Mom,” Olivia yelled toward the phone.

Beth cleared her throat then spoke softly to her daughter. “Rebecca, I’m not trying to pry and I know you’re old enough to make your own decisions, but are you okay with staying the night at Olivia’s? We can come get you if you’re not.”

Rebecca drew down her eyebrows in confusion, struggling to understand. “Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, you know, you two haven’t known each other long and now you’re staying the night together…alone…You know I always hoped my daughters would marry before…”

Rebecca understood in a flash and her face burned as she realized what her mother was saying. She realized just as quickly that she absolutely did not want to have this conversation with her mother, especially with Olivia sitting less than a foot away from her. She had the sudden urge to drop the phone and roll down the window for a blast of cold winter air. Instead she swallowed audibly and managed to force out a response.

“Mom, I’m fine.”
Gotta end this now before it gets worse!
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love you both. ’Bye.” Eager to break the link to her mother, she barely waited for her mother’s good-bye before she ended the call and slipped the phone into her coat pocket.

“What was that about? Is she worried I won’t take good care of you?” Olivia teased as she ran her fingernails lightly up and down Rebecca’s thigh.

“No,” Rebecca replied hastily, grabbing Olivia’s hand to still it and stop the wild sensations threatening to overcome her. “It’s nothing. Just Mom being Mom.” She hoped Olivia would let it drop and mercifully she did.

When they reached the apartment, Rebecca entered behind Olivia and was suddenly shy. Her mother’s words had reminded her of the potential the evening held. She realized she had mostly given her desire the reins, following her instincts when she was with Olivia. Now she had no reason to stop, no parents coming home, no closing of the park gate. Was she ready for the next step?

While Olivia put their coats on the coat rack, she moved Pooh out of the easy chair and onto the couch. She sat stiffly in the chair, trying to calm her nerves. Pooh had remembered her and left her new spot on the couch to climb into Rebecca’s lap. The purring feline found it necessary to move around a lot to keep her ministrations in the best locations under her chin and around her ears as Rebecca absentmindedly petted her. Rebecca’s mind was spinning furiously through her dilemma. Throughout high school she had no desire to have sex, so she had felt no qualms about supporting abstinence. In her mind it solved a lot of problems—no unwanted pregnancies, less risk of STD, less chance of a guy only going out with her for one reason if he knew the rules ahead of time. But now, her longings for Olivia left her wanting to break all her own rules. Olivia had been moving about the apartment chatting lightly when she noticed the lack of response from Rebecca. “Are you okay?” she asked.

Rebecca nodded distractedly.

Olivia walked in front of her and studied her closely. “Are you worried?” she lightly teased. “Do you think I brought you to my lair and now I’m going to take advantage of you?” She plucked Pooh from Rebecca’s lap and placed her unceremoniously onto the couch. Obviously insulted by the lack of proper attention she was receiving from the two, Pooh immediately hopped down and ran from the room.

Olivia straddled Rebecca’s lap, a knee on either side of her hips. She leaned back on Rebecca’s knees so she could look directly into her eyes. Olivia smiled impishly. “I promise I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

Rebecca blushed and tried to drop her eyes, but Olivia placed a finger under her chin and kept their eyes locked. She leaned forward and gently kissed Rebecca. Rebecca, shy at first, soon recovered as passion swept through her, fanned by the soft lips pressing against her own. Olivia allowed her to deepen the kiss initially, then slowly eased away to look again into Rebecca’s eyes. “I love you, Bec. I promise I’ll do my best to never cause you pain.”

Rebecca’s eyes were wet as she replied, “I love you, Olivia. I may be shy and a little scared about…about…you know, but I trust you completely or I wouldn’t be here. Can we just take our time, though?”

“Of course we can, my love. If you want, I’ll sleep on the couch tonight and you can have my bed.” Before she could answer, Olivia kissed her gently again then stood and pulled her to her feet.

“How about we just wait and see?” Rebecca said, unsure of herself but unwilling to rule out letting things go further with Olivia.

“That sounds like a good plan.” Olivia led her over to a chair at the table and poured each of them a glass of cherry Coke. She placed the glasses on the table then ducked quickly into the bedroom, returning with her notebook and a pen.

“I’d put this away when we thought we wouldn’t be able to find more answers to our questions,” she explained.

She sat down beside Rebecca and turned to the page of questions they had compiled. After her surprise visit to Rebecca’s house for lunch, she had answered questions three and four about her mother’s conversation with Uncle Steve and about Mary’s grave being disturbed. Now she added to the notation after question two, about Ralph:
Ralph Dunlop, raped MJ Farthing in May, 1932, resulting in pregnancy and, ultimately, in MJ’s death
. For question five, about the father to MJ’s child, she wrote simply:
See question #2
.

“I wonder if Mom and my uncles will tell Grandmama about burying Gran’s ashes at MJ’s grave?” Olivia queried. “She might really let them have it for deceiving her, you know.”

“I would guess they’ll keep it a secret,” Rebecca said, thinking of how intimidating Grandmama had looked when she first saw her.

“You’re probably right,” Olivia laughed. “Now, only one question remains unanswered,” she pointed out. “Is Peacock Cemetery really haunted? How do you think we could go about answering that question?”

“I think only time will tell us the answer to that one,” Rebecca stated. “I’m glad we know all the other answers now, but I’m sure sorry it happened the way it did all those years ago.”

“Yeah. Me, too.”

Rebecca changed the subject, not wanting to start any tears again. “You know, I told Dad how I felt about you.”