Lean On Me (Take My Hand) (19 page)

Holy
shit. Even
I
wasn’t expecting
that
response. And judging by the sudden
paleness of my dad’s face, I’m guessing he wasn’t either.

“I
think we need to calm down,” Jess piped up. She’d been hiding in the background
the whole time. I’d almost forgotten she was there.

“Calm
down?” my dad blared. “So you think it’s acceptable for her to speak to me in
that way? What a great role model she will be with such a filthy mouth. At
least I can still be proud of you, Jessy.”

“Um,
actually, Dad… Mum…”
Here we go…
time
for the shit to well and truly hit the fan. “I’m pregnant too.”

My
mum buried her face in her hands and my dad let out what can only be described
as a growl.

“Oh,
Jessica,” he breathed. “I thought better of you. How could you be so stupid?”

“Enough,”
my mum barely whispered.

“Excuse
me?” my dad chipped it.

“I
said ENOUGH!” Holy shit I’d never seen my mum angry before. It was kinda scary.
“I won’t have this turned into another feud. Whether the timing is right or
not, we’ve just been told we have two grandbabies on the way, Al. Screaming and
throwing insults around isn’t going to solve anything.”

“There’s
nothing
to
be solved,” I interrupted.

“Of
course there is. This animosity between you and your father needs to stop.
We’ve got babies coming and I will not have them brought into anything less
than a loving family.” Wow. Was my mum
actually
standing up to my dad for once? Instead of staying quiet, making excuses
for him and telling me to lie low until he calms his arrogant arse down? My dad
let out a frustrated huff, Rachel shrugged and Jess burst into tears. “Now,
we’re all going to sit down and then we’re going to talk about this calmly as a
family
.”

“Sue,”
my dad began to protest.

“Alistair,
SIT!” she barked at him like a dog. Surrendering his palms in the air, seeming
as stunned as the rest of us that my mum had found her voice after all these
years, he lowered himself down onto ‘his’ armchair.

It
felt like a courtroom. We all took our seats on the circle of furniture and my
mum stood in front of the fireplace addressing the room – mediating. My
dad tried to butt in a few times but recoiled back into his chair at the point
of my mum’s finger. It was like watching some kind of cheap dominatrix porno at
times. My dad, the submissive? Who’d have thought it huh? Great, now I’m
thinking of my dad on his hands and knees with a chain around his neck.

Ugh.

I
think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Too
far? Okay, I’ll shut my pie hole.

After
a thirty minute lecture (you know the gentle kind only mothers can give –
the ones that let you know their heart’s in the right place) the unbelievable
happened. I swear, I’m still struggling to get my head around it. Upon my mum’s
request, Jess pulled her scan photo out of her handbag and we all played pass
the parcel with it until it landed in my dad’s reluctant hands.

Grudgingly,
he swept his eyes across the blurry photo, and then when he went to look away
something dragged his gaze right back. That was when it happened – the
miracle. The
impossible
. Something
never before witnessed by any human on earth.

A
solitary tear glistened in the corner of his eye.

Yes,
you heard right. Clearly, something softer than stone runs somewhere through
his body.

This
monumental piece of history was short-lived however, because almost immediately
after, he cleared his throat and passed the photo back to the beginning of the
chain. Jess took it, and her pleading puppy eyes, the eyes that screamed
‘please forgive me, Daddy’ were damp with tears as she smiled nervously up at
him.

“Come
here, Jessy,” he said in the gentlest voice I’ve ever heard him use, holding
his arms out for her. Her smile widened and without hesitation, she jumped from
the couch and onto his knee. “Guess I’m going to be a grandpa.”

“I
love you, Dad,” she said eagerly, squeezing him into a tight hug. Then she got
up and turned to our mum. “Love you, Mum. And I’m so sorry.” Mum pulled her
into her chest and rubbed her back, before releasing her and holding her at
arms length.

“There
are worst things. We’re talking about a baby here.
Two
babies. Babies that we will love and cherish. Of course I wish
you’d waited… maybe married first. But they’re here now, and we will love and
support all of you through this,” Mum assured, glancing from Jess, to me and
then to Rachel.

After
a few more sniffles and soppy comments from the females in the room, I stood up
to leave.

“We
really need to get going now,” I announced.

“Are
you sure you can’t stay for dinner?”

“Sorry,
Mum. Maybe another time.”

“What
about you, Jessy?”

“I
can’t. I’m giving them a ride home. Jared’s, um…”

“The
new car isn’t ready yet,” I lied before Jess landed me in the shit. I told my
parents I had a new Beemer on order, paid for through the insurance. God, I
miss that car. I
loved
that car. I
miss the smell of leather, the feel of the wheel beneath my curled fingers, the
purr of the engine…

It’s
a guy thing. You wouldn’t understand.

“Well
make sure you let us know how you get on at your doctor’s appointment. You
really should move to my surgery. I could get Jan to see you?”

“It’s
too far, Mum. We’ve talked about this. But you don’t need Rachel’s notes to spy
on her.”
Or me.
“I promise we’ll keep
you updated.” That worries me. My parents are both doctors – my dad a
consultant and my mum a GP. I’m sure they could get access to my medical
records if they tried. Which is why I plan to tell them whenever I get an
official diagnosis. In the meantime, I just have to hope they wouldn’t stoop
low enough to invade my confidentiality. I can’t see why they would, not unless
they suspected anything. So, I’m good. I think. I hope.

I
found myself standing a little straighter when my dad rose from his chair and
made his way over to us to say goodbye. Even though things had ended up better
than expected this afternoon, instinctively I mentally braced myself for one of
his smartarse putdowns.

But,
you know what he did? He held out his hand to shake.

“This
will make a man of you, son,” he said, clamping my hand firmly in his as we
shook. “Make me proud. Take care of your family.” Then, he tugged on my hand
and pulled me into him, wrapping one arm around my back and patting me on the
shoulder.

Wow.

I
took a few seconds, deep breathing and stuttering like an imbecile, to regain
my composure. I felt winded. It was a true father and son moment – like
the ones you see in the movies… the ones I would’ve bet my life on this time
yesterday would never occur between me and my dad.

“I
plan to. Thank you, Dad.” Fuck me, I was nearly crying. I needed to get out of
this parallel universe, and fast.

After
releasing me, my dad turned to Rachel and offered his hand again. I’d be lying
if I said I wasn’t nervous – not only of what my dad might say, but Rach
too.

“You
stand up for what you believe in. I admire that about you. Take care of my son
and my grandchild.” Holy shit! Were we all gonna drop to our knees and pray
together soon or what?

Rachel
simply nodded, reservedly taking my dad’s hand and never letting go of the
dubious look in her eye. I couldn’t blame her. My dad has been a prize arsehole
my whole life. You don’t get to win over Rachel with a few nice words. You have
to earn your trust and respect from her, and I can’t help wonder if my dad will
ever achieve that after what he said earlier in the day.

After
another round of hugs from my mum and some more tears from Jess, we all headed
outside to Jess’ car.

Jesus.
What a fucking day…

Rachel

Jared
and I were all set to leave my flat and
make our way to the doctor’s surgery when my phone rang. My heart panged, as it
always did, when I picked it up, faintly hoping it might be Emily.

“Hey,
Mum,” I answered when I saw her photo light up the screen.

“Hi,
sweetheart. I just wanted to wish you luck at the doctors this morning.”

As
planned, I called my mum on Saturday when we got back from Jared’s parents.
She’s thrilled. Like off her tits kind of ecstatic. It was wonderful to hear
her scream down the phone. Naturally, once she’d absorbed the shock the worries
set in. She frets about how tough this pregnancy will be on my body, which is
understandable. I know the concern she’s shown me all my life is because she
loves me. My dad was a little more reserved about the situation, but happy
nonetheless. After the morning spent with Jared’s parents, I feel so lucky to
have been given the ones I have.

“Thanks,
Mum. I’ll call you when I get back and let you know what they say.”

“You
better. Are you nervous?”

“Shitting
myself.”

“Oh,
Rachel. What am I going to do with that mouth of yours?”

“Well
you can’t wash my mouth out with soap. Might not be good for the baby,” I
teased. “I have to go now or we’ll be late. I’ll call you soon.”

“Okay,
sweetheart. Good luck and I love you.”

“Love
you, too.”

“You
ready?” Jared asked the second I hung up the call.

“As
I’ll ever be.”

Let’s do this shit.

**********

“Miss
Mason?” the receptionist called out to the waiting room. Why are receptionists
always so snooty and self-important looking? “Room three please.” I nodded in
response and went to grab my wheels but found I was already moving –
Jared was pushing me. I’ve grown to love that. I feel proud to have such an
amazing man on the end of my handles.

When
we reached ‘Room 3’ I knocked gently on the door. Just seconds later the door
swung open and Dr Pratt (I’m not even shitting you) motioned us into his room
with his hand.

“Come
through. Take a seat.” I let that one go… “So, what can I help you with today?”
he asked, settling into his swivel chair.

“I’m,
um, pregnant,” I practically whispered. I felt kind of embarrassed but I had no
idea why. Maybe I expected him to see my age and judge me…

“Okay,”
he said casually without a hint of judgement in his tone. I relaxed instantly.
“And are you happy about it?”

“Yes,”
Jared and I said in unison before smiling proudly at one another.

“I
have to ask you understand.” I nodded. “When was your last period?”

“Oh.
Um…” I squinted my eyes and started counting backwards in my head. “I’m not
sure,” I admitted. “I’ve never been very regular. Sometimes I go a month, other
times three. It varies.”

“That’s
no problem. We can usually arrange a scan pretty quickly if there’s uncertainty
with your dates.”

“How
quickly?” I asked, slightly flustered. A scan… that makes it sound so…
real.

“Probably
tomorrow if they’re not fully booked. Maybe the day after.”

Well,
fuck me till my face turns blue…

Tomorrow!

“I’ll
give them a ring in a few minutes. How are you feeling in yourself? Any
concerns? Sickness?”

“I
did
have some sickness, but it seems
to have tailed off. Obviously I have some concerns regarding my disability,
like… will anything go wrong because of it? Do I need to do things differently
to other women?”

He
scanned his computer screen for a moment – looking into my history I
imagined.

“Incomplete
spinal injury, correct?” he asked for confirmation. I nodded. “Well as I’m sure
you’re aware, that poses no risk to the baby in regards to passing it down. As
for your ability to carry, I see no reason why you can’t go on to have a
healthy pregnancy. But your obstetrician will go through everything you need to
know.

“You
may be advised to have an epidural anaesthesia when labour begins because it’s
probable you won’t be able to push efficiently, or feel and utilise the
strength of the contractions. In which case, a c-section may be required. This
way, with the epidural, you’ll already be prepped for such an eventuality,
which minimises any last minute distress to you and the baby. But again, the
hospital will guide you through all your options.”

Christ,
this was all beginning to sound a little serious. This is really happening
isn’t it? I’m really going to have a baby.

Wow.

“You
don’t need to look so scared,” Dr Pratt went on to say. I swear I wanted to
laugh in his face every time I looked at his nameplate. “You’re in good hands.”

Next
he went on to ring whichever department at the hospital deals with ultrasound
scans. He was passed around a couple of times and I chowed down on my
fingernails, chipping away the purple polish while I waited. Sensing my nerves,
Jared took hold of my free hand and squeezed gently. I looked at him and he
smiled encouragingly,
proudly
.

“I
love you,” he mouthed, making me feel giddy.

“Okay,”
the doctor said, returning the phone handset to its dock. “Tomorrow at 1 PM.”
Holy shit. Tomorrow. 1 PM. I will see my
baby tomorrow. At 1 Pm. Shit. Tomorrow.
“I have a leaflet here somewhere,”
he added, rifling through his desk drawer. “Ah, here it is. This is a guide to
the maternity unit. It has directions to all the departments. When you arrive
tomorrow, follow the signs for the ultrasound department. Oh, and make sure
your bladder is full. Try and drink a couple of pints of water before you
arrive.”

Sounds
fun.

“And
here’s a sample bottle,” he went on, reaching into another drawer and passing
me a little bottle with a white screw cap. “Lesson one, never turn up to see a
midwife without a bottle,” he said with a teasing smile.

“Got
it,” I said, nodding. “Thank you, doctor.” There was no way in hell I was
adding ‘Pratt’ onto the end of that sentence. Not without bursting into
hysterics and pissing my knickers anyway…

“Any
questions?” he said, addressing both me and Jared, who had remained silent the
whole time.

“So
the fact she’s sat down all the time won’t affect the baby? Like… squash it or
anything?”

Oh
dear Lord…

Face.
Palm. Ground. Swallow.

Why,
Jared? WHY?

Seriously,
why didn’t he ask me that question when we were alone? When there were no
witnesses to his stupidity…

“Um,
no,” the doctor answered, and I could tell by his strained lips he was trying
to hold in his laughter. “I am quite sure that won’t be a problem.” I actually
felt sorry for the guy. It can’t have been easy to keep a straight face. He was
so professional but I imagined he would have a good laugh at Jared’s expense
when he got home to his wife later in the day.

With
no more from me, and thank God no more from Jared, our appointment was wrapped
up and we left the surgery with my leaflet and wee bottle.

“Don’t
ever
embarrass me like that again!” I
said, when we hit the outside air. “Sitting down
squashing
the baby?
Seriously
?
I swear I wanted to
die
of
embarrassment in there!”

“
What
? How the hell was I supposed to
know?” he asked with genuine innocence. His confused expression was simply too
adorable to be mad at him.

“The
same way you know your stomach won’t explode if you accidently eat a blade of
grass. Common sense,” I retorted, my voice crackling with laughter. “Tomorrow,
you don’t speak unless I prompt you to. Got it?”

“You
can’t be serious!”

“Say
it, Jaz. Say you’ll keep your gob shut.”

“Fine,”
he surrendered, pulling closed an imaginary zip across his lips. “No talking.”

“Good
boy,” I mocked.

“You’ve
got me right where you want me haven’t you?”

“Not
exactly. We would probably get arrested if you were where I wanted you right
now,” I whispered, straining my neck so he would hear me teasing him.

“Home.
Now,” he ordered, pushing me at speed towards the nearest taxi rank.

Hell
yes. My day was about to get a hell of a lot more interesting.

**********

My
flat was closest so that’s where we ended up. He’d undone the buttons on my
shirt before he’d even kicked the door closed behind us. I wheeled backwards
towards the bedroom, looking behind every few seconds to make sure I didn’t
crash into anything. Jared strolled towards me with lustful intent and the
sight of his muscles rippling with the movement of his arms as he lifted his
shirt over his head made every nerve in my body buzz with need.

I
drew my lip ring into my mouth as I admired the sight of him.
Yummy.
His bruises had faded to a light
yellow, blanketing the rigid muscles across his chest.

“You’re
so fucking sexy, saffy,” he moaned into the bare flesh of my stomach after
dropping to his knees in front of me. A whimper escaped involuntarily from my
throat and I felt him smile against my bellybutton before trailing soft licks
all the way up to my bra. “This needs to come off.”

Jared
smoothed his palms around my waist, laughing when he hit my tickly spot and I
squealed, then he hooked his fingers into my bra and effortlessly unfastened
the clasp. His mouth was waiting to catch one of my nipples the second my
breasts sprung free and as his warm mouth sucked and teased, one hand began
kneading the soft flesh around it.

“These
are softer,” he whispered between licks. “And bigger.” He moved his head across
and started paying the same attention to my other nipple. I eagerly arched
myself towards him. “Pregnant boobs are my new
favourite
kind of boobs.”

“No,
babe.
My
boobs are your favourite
kind of boobs. At least they better be, ‘cause they’re the only ones you’re
ever gonna get to suck on for the rest of your life.”

“And
what a fantastic fucking life it’s going to be,” he agreed throatily, before
licking a trail from the underside of my breast, up the centre and to my nipple
and then flicking the tip repeatedly, making me want to scream. “Fancy a
threesome?” he asked with a devilish smile.

“You
know, Cindy’s going to need a few months off when my belly gets bigger. She
might squash the baby,” I teased. “And we know how much you worry about
squashing the baby.” Jared’s eyes widened in mock offence, and I giggled the
second I saw the playful glint dancing around his green irises because I knew
what was coming.

He
stood up and started tugging his pants down as he walked backwards towards the
ottoman at the foot of my bed. That’s where Cindy lives. Opening the chest, he
reached blindly for Cindy, never taking his mischievous eyes off me. Then, he
set the foam wedge in place on the mattress and walked purposely towards me,
his hard cock bobbing along with the motion of his legs. When he reached me, he
flexed his fingers and stretched his arms in my direction, ready to scoop me
up.

“Skirt,”
he said firmly, nodding towards the autumn-brown pencil skirt I had on today.
Skirt-wise, I only wear pencils – they keep my disobedient legs together
and stop my knees falling apart in an unladylike fashion. “Lift yourself up,”
he instructed, and I did. Gripping the armrests on either side of my chair, I
hoisted myself up enough so he could pull my skirt from underneath me –
knickers too. “Beautiful,” he murmured, biting his lip as he took in my naked
body.

Before
I could breathe another word I was in Jared’s arms, being carried towards the
bed. He laid me down onto my back, parted my legs and knelt between them before
running his hand down the centre of my body. Then he paused for a few seconds,
falling back on his heels and just… staring at me – drinking in the sight
of me. I felt all kinds of beautiful. I felt wanted -
desirable
…sexy.

My
hands reached out and I moulded my fingers around his firm biceps, taking care
to apply only gentle pressure to the tender flesh that was still mottled with fading
bruises from his accident. Biting down on my lip to keep myself from moaning, I
traced the lines of the muscles down his chest and onto his happy trail of fine
brown hair that led to my destination.

“Fuck,
yes…” he choked out, tossing his head back. I stroked him slowly with one hand –
purposely tantalising him. My other hand reached around, caressing the skin of
his firm arse cheek – the one that sported
my
flower. Even though I went apeshit at the time, I secretly love
that he was crazy enough to get that for me. It’s typical Jared – fun,
unpredictable… and adorably immature.

After
tracing the swollen veins in his cock from base to tip, I circled the rim with
the edge of my finger and his whole body jerked in response. “Harder, Rachel.
Faster,
” he begged impatiently. So,
grinning wickedly, I wrapped my fingers around his solid length and fisted him
until I knew he was about to lose it.