Learning to Breathe (15 page)

When everything about tonight was decided, Harriet offered to give me a lift to the leisure centre which I
had accepted since I didn’t fancy having to catch the bus. I walked into the centre and made my way to the changing rooms.

I quickly changed into my swimsuit and went to meet Danny at the pool. It didn’t take me long to find him already swimming laps. It also appeared that we were the only two in the pool area which I found odd for a Saturday afternoon.

However, I was momentarily distracted from my thoughts when Danny splashed me from the side of the pool.

“Hey Gilmore! You
just gonna stand there?” he yelled while flashing me that killer lopsided grin.

I rolled my eyes and climbed down the steps into the water.

“Where is everyone?” I asked curiously.

Danny looked puzzled.
“What do you mean?”

I threw him a questioning look.
“Um it’s a Saturday afternoon, shouldn’t this place be crawling with kids or something?”

Danny chuckled.
“Yeah … only they’re in the other pool … with the other instructor.”

“Oh.
” I said in surprise – I had forgotten that there was another pool. “How’d we get this one to ourselves though?”

“I have my ways.
” Danny smirked as I shook my head in disbelief.

“Nah,” he continued. “T
his one’s always empty on a Saturday but it also helps that Mr Deacon lets me practice here every week.”

I nod
ded and took a few deep breaths. “So, what am I learning today?”

Danny grinned.
“Oh the fun starts today …” he told me cryptically.

Oh,
what have I let myself in for?

An hour later and I felt like a failure. It was like I had taken two giant steps back and couldn’t find a way to move forward. It was turning out to be a bad lesson … a
very
bad lesson. When Danny wanted me to practice the breathing techniques that I had been learning, I found myself freaking out – big time.

The flashbacks hit me hard and I pleaded with Danny to let me give up for the rest of the lesson but he refused. He reminded me that it wasn’t going to be easy and that I had agreed to do this. I couldn’t argue with that so I had no choice but to stick at it.

“Darcie,” Danny began patiently. “Is there anything that you can think of that would distract you from thinking about this too much?”

I gla
red at him. “Like what?”

I was fed up and wanted to get out but I knew that I couldn’t since I was the one who had begged Danny to help me.

“Like something you associate with being happy or something.” Danny suggested, looking at me carefully.

I shrugged.
“I don’t know …” I couldn’t think of anything but my past and the flashbacks – happy thoughts were the last thing on my mind.

Danny looked thoughtf
ul for a second and then smiled. “I think I’ve got it! Wait here.” He pulled himself up out of the pool and quickly hurried to get something out of the office next door.

He returned with an iPod dock along with his
iPod and smiled at me excitedly.

“Okay,
let’s forget about the breathing techniques for a second. Now, you liked the CD I made you, right?”

I nodded.
“Yeah, it was great but what does this have to do with anything?”

Danny chuckled.
“Remember I told you that it was to help with your swimming?”

I nodded my head but didn’t say anything, willing him to continue on.

He grinned. “Okay, well I think music is the key here.”

“Okay …” I glanced at him unsurely.

“I think we need something to pump you up – get the adrenaline going! The mix I made you helps you to relax and to control your breathing after your lesson is over but now we need the opposite.”

He threw me that adorable crooked
smile as he set up the dock and plugged in his iPod. Suddenly, Kasabian’s ‘Underdog’ blared to life.

“Okay!” he sho
uted over the loud guitar intro. “Let’s try something else!”

I shook my head but I couldn’t help the little smile that slipped out; this would be interesting.

It was almost four o’clock before we were finally leaving the pool. The lesson had significantly progressed after Danny had put on the music. He had told me to focus on nothing but the beat and the movements of my arms and legs. Surprisingly, I had found that this kept me from freaking out. The flashbacks didn’t disappear but they became less frequent when I focused properly.

I was really pleased that I had made a little improvement today and I felt quite optimistic about my future lessons now that Danny had figured out that the music helped.

“So,” Danny began as
we made our way over to his car. “You going to the party tonight?”

I nodded.
“Yeah, Harriet’s insisting that I go.”

Danny chuckled.
“Yeah, you don’t argue with Harri! Do you need a ride over?”

“Um,” I hesitated slightly, unsure of what to
do before I reluctantly nodded. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

We got into the car and Danny
smiled over at me as he started the car and turned on the radio. The Temper Trap’s ‘Sweet Disposition’ played in the background as he pulled out into the road and I found myself staring at him, wondering why I had accepted his lift for tonight.

As much as I hated to admit it, I liked spending time with Danny but I was also afraid of him trying to pry into my past again. I knew that with all the time we would be spending with each other, he was bound to ask about it again sooner or later and that terrified me.

I watched as Danny threw me a worried glance. “You okay?”

I nodded.
“Yeah, just thinking about when I’m free for another lesson.”

Danny
looked at me as if he knew I wasn’t being truthful but he didn’t question me, instead he grinned. “You’re actually eager to do it again?”

I laughed.
“Yeah, big shocker, I know.”

Danny
shook his head. “Miracles will never cease! Um, what about Monday after you finish up with the Youth Club?”

I nodded.
“Sure, I’m usually done by five, is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Danny replied as he pulled up outside my house.

“I guess I’ll see you later.” I told him as I got out of the car.

He nodded.
“I’ll text you when I’m on my way to pick you up.”

I smiled and waved him off b
efore rushing into the house to start cooking dinner.

My mother arrived home an hour later and threw me a suspicious glance when she noticed that I was making dinner.

“Shouldn’t you be avoiding me?” she shot at me.

I shrugged. “I’m still not happy with what you did but it doesn’t mean we can’t talk to each other.”

My mother looked wary.
“Okay … what’re you looking?”

“
Nothing!” I protested. “I just haven’t seen you much this week.”

She nodded.
“I’ve been working a lot. Any plans for tonight?”

“Yeah, there’s a party later, Harriet wanted me to go.”

My mother nodded. “That’s good … I’m glad you’ve made some friends here.”

I merely nodded at her and dished out the dinner.

“So,” my mother began after a few mouthfuls. “Have you made any other friends?”

I shrugged.
“A few.”

My mother paused for
a moment before speaking again. “Good for you … Dr Kendrick did say that it was important for you to socialise more …” She trailed off at the sound of my fork hitting the plate.

“Why are you talking about Dr Kendrick?”
I enquired abruptly; an overwhelming sense of fear was beginning to descend upon me – I didn’t like to think back on my time with her.

My mother glanced at me.
“Relax Darcie, I’m not gonna ship you off to see her. I just … I’m just relieved that you finally seem able to start accepting everything that happened.”

Oh
if only you knew how wrong you are!

Little did my mother know that I felt like I would never be able to accept what had happened – I didn’t even know if it was possible. I certainly didn’t feel like I would ever be the person I had been ten months ago. Nevertheless, I smiled at her and pretended to agree with her.

She didn’t say anything else during dinner but I could still see her throwing me thoughtful glances every now and then. When I caught her doing this a few times, I smiled at her reassuringly but on the
inside, I was freaking out. What if she was thinking about contacting Dr Kendrick again? I really didn’t think I’d be able to cope with having to see her again.

Sighing heavily, I pushed those thoughts away and finished my dinner before going upstairs to get ready for the party.

“Ooh,” Harriet teased.
“I can’t believe you’re going with Danny tonight!”

I shook my head at her.
“It’s not a big deal – trust me. I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with getting us together anyway.”

Harriet poked me
with the comb she was using to style my hair. “I’m
not
obsessed … I’m merely curious about why you both refuse to see what’s right in front of you!”

I struggled not to roll my eyes.
“Whatever.”

Harriet frowned at me but didn’t say anything else. Instead, she focused on curling my hair and then went on to do my make-up.

Finally, half an hour later and Harriet was finished.

“Ta da!” she exclaimed as she pushed me in front of the mirror on her wardrobe door.

I saw a very surprised girl looking back. Harriet had curled my hair into soft waves giving me that beach-head sort of look and I was pleased to see that she had obeyed my rule of minimal make-up. I turned back to Harriet and smiled.

“You like?” she asked, a smirk playing on her lips.

I nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for going to all this trouble.”

Harriet smiled slyly.
“It was no problem … I just hope my hard work doesn’t go to waste …” She trailed off cryptically and I knew she was referring to Danny again.

I ch
ose to ignore her and was saved from any further comments when my phone bleeped.

It was a message from Danny:
‘B @ urs in 10’

I
replied that that was okay and left Harriet to finish getting ready.

Danny arrived at my house on time and looked me up and down as I got into the car.

“Whit woo, look at you!” he quipped with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. “You do know that rhymed, right?”

He grinned.
“I’m a poet and I know it!”

I laughed.
“Okay Shakespeare, let’s go before you burst into song.”

Danny chuckled but didn’t say anything else as he pulled out onto the road.

We arrived at the party just before 8pm. As we made our way over to Samuel’s house, I subtly looked Danny up and down – he was wearing a charcoal grey shirt with dark jeans and grey Converse – he looked good.

I quickly averted my eyes when he glanced at me curiously and instead focused on following
the faint strains of Two Door Cinema Club’s ‘This Is The Life’ as we made our way up to Samuel’s front door.

There were a lot
of people already inside, wandering about with drinks in their hands and laughing and joking about. A quick scan of the room revealed that Harriet had yet to arrive.

I glanced over at
Danny who smiled crookedly and leaned to shout into my ear, “You wanna get something to drink?”

I nodded and followed Danny through the crowd until we reached the kitchen and found Samuel lining up the counter with various bottles.

He quickly spotted us and made his way over.

“Danny! Darcie! Glad you guys could come. Have you seen Harri yet?”

I shook my head. “She was still getting ready when I left but I’m sure she’ll be here soon.”

Samuel rolled his eyes.
“Typical! I’m gonna phone her and tell her to get a move on … you guys just help yourselves.”

Danny nodded and grabbed two emp
ty paper cups, he glanced at me. “What’ll it be?”

I inspected the bottles and decided to take something alcoholic – after the conversation with my mother
earlier, I felt like I needed something to take the edge off. I figured that one drink couldn’t hurt – and if it meant that I would stop thinking about my time with Dr Kendrick – well that would be a definite bonus.