Learning to Dance Again (30 page)

‘I was at first. He’s young; he should see a bit more of the world before settling down here. But actually, he won’t be living with me; he’s going to live in Duncan’s old family home. It’s a couple of miles away; I’ll show you it sometime.’

‘Isn’t that funny;
we both have children who are moving back home. Eleni is going to take over the villa you stayed in. So I won’t have any more tourists coming to stay. I’ll just have to rely on my books to make a living.’

‘I’m sure you’ll do OK
.’

‘Yes, I probably will; thanks to you.’

Julia turned round quickly, dropping the wooden spoon on the floor. She stooped to pick it up and then reached for some paper towel to clean up the mess.

‘What do you mean, thanks to me?’

‘You’ve shaken me up a bit. Made me realise that I need to get out more and start living again.’

Julia leaned
back against the kitchen unit and frowned at him. She was a little uncertain where this conversation was heading.

‘How did I manage to do that?’

‘When you came over to Sicily to help you come to terms with your loss it made me see that grieving is an active process, not passive. You can’t simply sit around and wait for the pain to pass. You have to force yourself to do things that you might find difficult; like travelling somewhere new and meeting new people. When I first met you, I thought you were a little mad to be going on holiday on your own so soon. But then I started to realise that I should have done the same thing, because this is really the first time I have been away in five years, and I do feel different. I still miss my wife obviously, but the change of location has somehow dialled down the pain a little.’

‘I see what you mean. But when I came to Sicily I didn’t think of it as doing some
thing positive. I was really just running away from it all.’

‘I know. But I think it had the same affect; don’t you?’

‘I’ll tell you in five years.’

Tony smiled an
acknowledgement that she still had a long journey ahead of her.

‘It wasn’t just the fact that you went on holiday on your o
wn,’ he continued, ‘you’ve been making changes to your career, and you still get out and about and see your friends. You’re not a recluse, like I was.’

‘I suppose not; although I don’t go out as much as I used to. If you weren’t here, I wouldn’t be going to Up Helly Aa tomorrow.’

‘Oh; is that a problem? Don’t you want to go?’

‘No,
don’t be silly. I’m very happy to take you. But if I’d been on my own, I really wouldn’t have had the appetite for it. I’m glad you’re here. I need to do this tomorrow, even if it will be hard to see the Jarl Squad without Duncan. I know if I didn’t go I would regret it.’

Later that evening when they had finished their dinner, they sat in the lounge, although Tony couldn’t seem to sit still. He got up and wandered around, studying the photographs of Duncan and the boys.

‘He was a good looking m
an, wasn’t he? I see your sons really take after him.’ Tony picked up a large gilt framed wedding photograph and examined it closely. ‘You look so happy in this picture.’

‘I
was happy. That was a great day; although I do wish I could go back and change that hideous veil and headdress, and as for the mad hair…’

‘Early 80s?’

‘Ha, yes it was.’

‘You should see our wedding photos. I look like I’m about to be executed. I was terrified.’

Julia looked at him quizzically, demanding more details.

‘At that time I
didn’t speak much Italian. We got married in this big old church in Palermo, surrounded by Eleonora’s huge family, none of whom were pleased she was marrying me. The few friends and family of mine that came over were convinced I was marrying some mafia man’s daughter, and thought my days were numbered. Eleonora spent most of the day crying, because we would be moving to England straight after the wedding and she was going to miss her family.’

Julia smiled, partly out of sympathy, but also with amusement at the way Tony was telling the story. She
imagined he had recited it many times before.

‘But you were happy together. It all worked out.’

‘Yes it did. I decided we should stay in Sicily instead of going back to London and when I told Eleonora that, the rest of the wedding was great. We all got drunk, laughed, sang and danced. My mother even danced with Eleonora’s father. They couldn’t communicate with each other in any language, but they seemed to have a great time. We had a ball. It was the best decision I ever made.’

‘Did you miss England?’

‘Sometimes. We came over for holidays; and when my writing took off, I had to travel back quite a lot to meet with publishers and do book tours and that kind of thing.’

‘Would you ever move back?’

‘No, not now. My parents have passed away. I have nothing to come back for. I love Sicily, and the rest of Italy, and it’s where my first grandchild will be born. I could never leave now.’

On Tuesday morning Julia woke with the same feeling of anticipation that she normally had on Christmas Day. She got out of bed and wandered over to the window and peered out at the darkness. She listened for wind or rain. Silence; she smiled and headed for the shower.

When she got downstairs she found Tony in the kitchen cooking bacon and eggs.

‘Hey, you’re a guest. I should be doing that.’

‘I’
m still on Italian time. I wake up so early in the morning, so I thought I’d better do something useful.’

‘Ooh, that coffee smells good,’ Jul
ia said. ‘This is going to be a long day, I can tell you.’

Julia poured herself some
coffee and topped up Tony’s mug. She sat down on a chair and watched him making himself at home in her kitchen. He had already set the table.

‘Tell me, why do yo
u have a housekeeper, when you’re perfectly capable of looking after yourself?’

Tony turned around, holding a spatula in his hand and grinned.

‘My dear girl, I can definitely look after myself, but if I got rid of Maria, she would lose her much needed income, and I would spend weeks never speaking to another human being.’

‘And I suppose you wouldn’t get much writing done either.’

‘Probably not.’

They sat down to eat their hearty breakfast. Tony told Julia about his travels around Scotland and his plans for his new novel, incorporating the character they had dreamed up together in Sicily. Julia protested when he told her that Rebecca Sherry was going to become the love interest in the story.

‘But she can’t. She’s happily married to a helicopter pilot.’

‘Is she now?’ Tony replied, laughing.

‘Well yes. I’
ve given her some more thought; as you do to imaginary people that don’t exist. God, I’m going nuts!’

‘Welcome to my world. My head is full of people that don’t exist.’

Julia looked at her watch. ‘If we want to see the street parade this morning we’d better get our skates on. Parking will be a nightmare in town today.’

Tony stood up and took his plate and cutlery to the kitchen sink.

‘We’ll clean up later. I was thinking we should come back this afternoon for a bit of a siesta,’ Julia said, as she stood up and walked over to the coffee maker and switched it off.

The traffic was busy as they drove into Lerwick, but Julia managed to find the last parking space at the Toll Clock shopping centre.

‘It’s a bit of a walk, but this is
as close to the centre as we’ll get this morning. The roads will be closed soon for the procession.’

They got out of
their car and followed a group of people who were also making their way to the centre. They stopped when they reached the road leading up to the 16th Century Fort that overlooked the harbour.

‘Here’s a good place to watch. We’ll be looking down at them on the street below.’

Julia unzipped her jacket, feeling a little warm after their brisk walk. She looked up at the sky which was an unnatural shade of blue for the end of January. It was sunny and bright today; a perfect day for Up Helly Aa. Duncan would have been delighted.

They looked around
at the assembled mix of locals and tourists who stood around chatting to each other, smiling and laughing at the weather and the occasion. Julia checked her watch.

‘They’ll be here soon,’ she said, as Tony unzipped his camera case and took out an expensive looking Nikon camera.

Tony fiddled around with his camera and then took a few shots of the scenery. He pointed the camera up at the fort and snapped away. He turned back and took a sneaky picture of Julia. He was too quick for her to protest.

He showed her the picture i
n the viewport and she pulled a face.

‘It’s a lovely photo,
’ he said. He showed her some of the other pictures he had just taken. Julia was still standing close to him, leaning in to look at the camera, shielding the screen from the sun with her hand, when she heard the first faint notes of the bagpipes.

‘They’re coming,’ she said, craning her neck to see around the bend in the road. There was a rustle of excitement in the crowd who had also heard the music.

Julia strained to listen, and a moment later she recognised the tune. Within seconds she was transported back to the day of Duncan’s funeral. She was walking down the aisle to take her place at the front of the kirk between Jamie and Bryden. The piper was standing in the doorway of the kirk, playing
The Gael
a song chosen by Duncan. Her eyes had fixed on the pale wooden coffin with its colourful display of spring flowers and heavily scented lilies on top. Julia had noticed one of the red tulips had lost a petal which had floated down to the floor, and lay like spilled blood. She had bent down to pick it up and held it throughout the funeral, as she sat rigid with fear that she might break down uncontrollably. She had avoided eye contact with anyone inside the kirk, including Marianne who had sat behind her.

‘
Isn’t this the theme to
The Last of the Mohicans
?’ Tony said, bringing her back to the present moment. ‘Julia? Are you alright?’

Julia grabbed hold of the railings that ran alongside the pavement. She felt unsteady on her feet for a moment.

‘This tune,’ she said, not able to find the words to explain, although none seemed necessary, as Tony quickly grasped the situation. He put his arm around her and pulled her close.

‘Don’t worry. It happens all the time. You get blindsided when you least expect it.
A song here, a waft of perfume there; the strangest thing can ambush you. Take a deep breath and think of something happy. Think of your sons.’

Julia stood up straight;
she closed her eyes for a second and took a few deep breaths. She cleared her mind of images of the funeral and then opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Cameron marching past. He caught her eye and grinned. He lifted his axe and roared. Julia smiled, despite herself.

They watched the squad of Vikings march down the street, accompanied by the
Kirkwall pipe band. The tune had changed to
The Road to the Isles
, which was far less emotive and Julia was able to breathe a little easier.

When the spectacle had passed, they wandered dow
n look at the Galley ship that was displayed on a trailer on the pier.

‘What a shame it’s
going to be burned later; it’s a work of art,’ Tony said, as he walked around the boat, examining the handiwork and taking photographs.

‘Aye, it is a shame isn’t it. B
ut this time next year, there’ll be another one just like it. It’s all part of the tradition.’

They spent the rest of the morning walking around Lerwick. Tony bought a tiny Fair Isle jumper for his unborn grandchild, as well as two pairs of Fair Isle gloves for Enzo and Eleni. He also bought Maria a joke present of some Shetland tea-towels, although Julia noticed he also bought her an expensive silver brooch.

They went to the museum and wandered around looking at the exhibits before heading upstairs to the café for lunch, after which Julia drove them home, intending to have a rest before the evening’s entertainment, which was
scheduled to go on until eight, the following morning.

‘Really, it all finishes tomorrow morning?’ Tony said, as he helped Julia stack the dishwasher with their breakfast dishes.

‘Yes, but you aren’t forced to stay till it finishes.’

‘Have you ever made it to the bitter end?’

‘Lots of times!’ Julia said, grinning.

‘Is that a challenge?’

‘Not really, I don’t think I’ll be up for staying out the whole night.’

Tony wandered upstairs to
his room. Julia took her shoes off and sat down on the sofa for a moment. She didn’t think she would be able to get to sleep. Her mind was a whirl of thoughts. She shut her eyes and thought of Duncan. It made her feel sick to think he had missed this day. He had looked forward to his turn in the Jarl Squad for over ten years, ever since he had first got involved with Up Helly Aa, at Cameron’s invitation.