Learning to Drown (7 page)

He let the strings go, laughing
softly. His hand slipped free and I made a little sound in my throat. “Don’t
you see what you were doing, babe?”

“What? What have I been doing?” I
wondered what he would say if I asked him to pull those strings again. Touch me
some more. Tug until the strings bit into my neck just enough to scare me.

“You have been dominating him. By
telling him to do it. By giving him a schedule. And sweetheart, if he was doing
it your way, then…” Lucas shrugged his big shoulders and my eyes returned to
the scar in his brow. I leaned forward, running my tongue along the pale pale
sliver of skin.

Lucas froze but I swore I heard his
breathing change. Lucas grabbed my upper arms, pulled me away. “Why did you do
that?” His eyes were all over me again, studying.

“I don’t know. I wanted to. I mean, I
have wanted to for a while and…”

“And?” His fingers bit into my skin
and my pulse jacked up. Excitement beat at the base of my throat. Between my
legs.

“I thought you would like it.” I held
my breath.

“Listen to me. Are you listening?” His
voice was gruff but his eyes had gone an amber whiskey shade that belied some
profound emotion. Something I had triggered?

“Yes. I’m listening. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. But listen to me.
Shh.” His finger settled on my lips to quiet me and I could smell my own scent
on his skin. I bit my tongue to keep it in my mouth. I had to because I could
picture licking his finger until he drove his cock home right between my legs.
Right where he had left me wet and aching for another release. When I shifted
in the chair, I felt him hard against my leg. My knee bumped his hard-on and my
heart jumped. He clenched his jaw, in total control. Unruffled. “You were in
the driver seat by telling him when you wanted your game. You weren’t
submitting to him. You were dominating him.”

I opened my mouth even though his
finger stayed put. Lucas shook his head no, hair falling over his forehead. I
managed silence, a minor miracle for me when I’m nervous.

“Submitting is about letting go.
Losing yourself.” His lips found my chin, his teeth touched me there. So far
away and yet so close to my lips. He tugged that string again and the hood
started to close in on my throat. It didn’t take much before the cotton was
binding the thin skin above my pulse. “It’s like learning to drown. Letting go
even when you think you might disappear. Can you do that?”

“I don’t know.” I said it
automatically, so it was the truth.

Lucas approved. He kissed me softly and
sat back again. “Do you want to find out or are you happy with your merry
housewife bondage games?”

“I’m not a housewife,” I stammered.

Lucas frowned.

“Sorry. I mean I’m afraid.”

He nodded, watching me so intensely I
felt like my skin may go up in flames if he looked any harder. “Being afraid is
normal. But what do you feel? In here.” He touched over my heart. My chest
jumped under his fingers. “And here.” Again, he pressed his big palm to my
pussy and gave my clit the slightest pressure with the heel of his hand.

“I feel yes. I feel excited. I feel
like…” Here is where I lost my nerve and stopped.

But Lucas was having none of it. He
leaned in and tugged the strings tighter until it bit into my throat with a
sharp pinch. “Like what, September?”

“Like you’ll help me.” If I was stupid
for saying it, so be it. How I felt was no more stupid than being locked in a
box in my panties.

Just then a phone rang. The distinct
tune of the Commodores’
Brick House
. “Is that my phone?” I looked
around. I felt scattered but I wasn’t sure why.

“Yeah. It was in lover boy’s cab. I
grabbed it before I left the truck at the impound. Do you know the ring?” Lucas
stood, grabbed the phone from the counter. No movement was wasted with him.

“It’s Damien. It’s his ring,“ I said.
Why was he calling? To save me?

Lucas answered. “Yeah?” He frowned,
clenching his fists. Damien should be grateful he wasn‘t here. “No. It’s not
hers anymore,” Lucas said. His voice soft and dangerous. The sound of quiet
controlled rage.

Damien’s voice blared through the tiny
cell phone speaker. I tiptoed closer on the cold tile floor. I leaned into
Lucas, feeling pretty much dwarfed by him. He wasn‘t that much bigger than me,
he just felt it.

“What the fuck, man? Where are you?
Who is this? Where is Ember?”

“Who? The girl? She’s gone.” Lucas’s
eyes found mine. He gave me a once over. His eyes were not smiling but they
were warm.

“What do you mean gone? Are you the
guy she hired to take her tonight? And my truck? Are you?” So much in Damien’s
voice. Anger, confusion, fear, rage, annoyance and of course, petulance.

“Look man
¾
”

Damien was yelling. All I could hear
were jumbled words between all the yelling. I heard the word
truck
more
than one.

“Yes, for real. I took your truck for
real.”

“But this is a joke!” I heard that as
clear as a bell. “She set it up!”

“It’s no joke, my friend, and she set
up nothing.”

“But…aren’t you the guy she hired to
take her!” Damien demanded again, willing Lucas to say yes. I could tell. I
heard the fear in his voice then. The slow realization that yes his truck was
gone and now so was I.

Lucas shrugged, grinned. Nearly
malicious but entirely confident. Sexy as hell. “No one hired me to take her,
man. But I did. And she’s safe. But she’s mine now. She doesn‘t want to talk to
you. Tell him.” He put the phone to my mouth.

Without thinking I said “Goodbye,
Damien. We’re done.”

“See? Bye Damien,” Lucas said and
flipped the phone closed.

Chapter 7

“But safe is relative,“ Lucas said and
dropped the phone on the table.

So much swirled in my head. More
thoughts bombarded when his large hand clamped over my wrist. He turned me and
I moved with him. Lucas gathered both of my hands in one of his larger hands.
His skin warm, his touch none too gentle. “You weren’t planning on going anywhere,
were you, little girl?” His mouth pressed to my ear, his stubble tugging at my
hair. He yanked up just enough to steal my breath and make me yelp.

“No. I…” I tried to process and could
not. Was this for real? Was he playing with me or was he serious? How did I
feel if he was? I couldn’t think my pulse was slamming so hard. My head went
light, my body hummed with fear and want.

Lucas kneed my legs apart from behind.
Kicked my feet out further with his boot. His movements not violent but firm.
“Let’s see. I can answer my own question.” His voice was sandpaper. His tone
abrupt. More fear snaked over my skin and I shivered. He pushed his free hand
down the back of my sweats and briefly trailed a finger along the split of my
bottom. I made a sound in my throat. Then with precise brutality, he pushed his
finger into me from behind. “You’re really, really wet, sweetheart.” I knew I
was but him saying it so loud in his little kitchen made it that much dirtier.
That much more shameful.

I hung my head.

Lucas pushed his mouth to my nape so
hard it hurt. He flexed his finger in my pussy while his thumb ran over the
tight circle of my anus. I stopped breathing as he continued to stroke.
“Because you’re a little slut.”

The word worked into me like some dark
smoke. More fluid between my thighs. The wet hot apex of my legs. There was no
way to hide it from him. He laughed softly and began slow even thrusts with his
fingers. Fucking me with his hard fingers. “Say it, then. Say it, slut. Tell me
what you are.”

“I’m…” I couldn’t. I wanted to but
couldn’t. My heart was in my ears, my vision blurry from unshed tears. My body
clenched up around him and he wiggled his fingers showing me that I could not
hide.

“You’re what? It’s time to be brave.
Time to drown. Nobody’s here but you and me and your secret that’s not an
actual secret any more. What are you, September? Tell me. Say it.” He pushed
just the tip of his thumb into my ass, flexed his fingers so I shook inside the
half circle of his arms. I felt him smile against my cheek. He  breathed in my
ear like the big bad wolf.

Lucas was pushing me. It was a big
enough push that I dropped my head, my body converged in a pinpoint of pleasure
and pain where he touched me. “I’m a slut.”

He bit me hard, not tempering himself
at all. I waited to feel blood on my skin but it never came. Lucas breathed
against me, “Good, good girl.”

His hand came free of my pants. And he
hustled me forward. Fast enough that I stumbled to keep from falling. Lucas
pushed me forward through the living room and up the steps. Prodding me with
hard motion like a prisoner. Which technically, I realized with a surge of
genuine fear, I was.

* * * *

They weren’t cuffs and for that I was
grateful. I’d had enough of cuffs thanks ever so much. But they were restraints
and a fresh anxiety filled me, my throat tight. He let me use the bathroom but
then he smiled and said, “Off with the sweats. Put these on. They’re clean. I
ran them while you were in the shower.”

I only hesitated for a moment. In for
a penny, in for a pound. I shucked the shapeless clothes and pulled my green
panties on. They were slightly damp in the back but I didn’t say. I put the bra
on and snapped it in the front while he watched. Then I waited-- goose bumped
and shivering just a bit. The cold, the nerves, his eyes on me, it was all too
much for me.

“Go on. Climb on the bed, slut.” His
tone matter of fact like he was saying my name. I climbed onto the bed eyeing
the dark purple ties. He caught me. Grunted. “Nothing to be scared off. Nice
high count cotton. I just knot you in and give you a good amount of motion.
Tonight will be both wrists and both ankles. If you’re good, I’ll give you some
more slack. Another night.”

With easy, measured motions Lucas tied
my right wrist to the headboard, then my left. I’d still be able to sleep on my
side the way I liked. I wanted to kiss him for that. I wasn’t a back or belly
sleeper. I always awoke curled in a comma shape on my side like I was
protecting myself while I slept. He stroked his fingers on my ankle before tying
me. Touched the arch of my foot so I danced for him. My motions inadvertently
testing my bonds. They were tight but he’d given the promised slack. The
thought of being tied
for real
filled me with uncertainty. I nearly came
apart right there. Instead, I swallowed it and watched him move to my other
ankle.

 “I like to see the ties on your
skin,” he said. His voice so soft I strained to hear his voice. Even with the
room quiet but for the tick of a small clock on the dresser. I was in the guest
room. Truth be told, the fact that Lucas would be in another room scared me
more than anything. Why was he leaving me?

“Thank you.” It felt right to say it.
He met my eyes, gave a half smile. By body responded with a warming tingle to
the small gesture. There was nothing I could do to keep it from him. I was
powerless if he wanted to look.

Lucas moved over me, his breath on my
face. His fingers, beat up and brutish, pinched my nipples. I forced my body to
be still. I wanted to rise up to meet his hand but some part of me was starting
to understand what was expected of me. And what was not. I watched, him,
feeling each heartbeat between my legs. Lucas laid his warm palm on the flat of
my belly above my navel. My cunt so ready the tempo in my pelvis ticked off
each skip of my heart. I knew just by looking at him that he would do
absolutely nothing about that now. He would leave me this way. Which was the
point.

I was fragile under his fingers.
Artfully broken of will. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see his handprint branded
there on my skin. Lucas shocked me by dropping to his knees, eyes level with my
belly. He pulled my panties back and blew over my shaved pussy and the tops of
my thighs. Little puffs of air rained down on me when he spoke. “If you behave,
you’ll get a little more freedom every day. A little more reward. Do you trust
me?”

He had asked me earlier and I’d
failed. Now I overruled all my normal self doubt. I answered from instinct
alone. “Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Sir,” I said.

I was rewarded with one light caress.
His hand slid from navel to clit. He pressed me there. Not hard, not soft
-
just
a firm, even revolution. Like pressing a button to open a door or work a lock
or turn on a machine. Wetness graced the insides of my thighs and I considered
pleading with him. Begging this beautiful, silent man to fuck me right there in
his cozy, neat guest bed. Take me like I had no choice. I shook my head.

Instead I just shut my eyes and tried
not to disintegrate. Lucas dropped one kiss directly in the hollow between my
hipbones. The sensation shot straight to my pussy and up through my chest like
a ray of light. “Good night, my beautiful slut,” he said. “I like new toys.”