Learning to Heal (23 page)

After I pull into the Doctor’s office, I look around for Mason. I don’t see his truck so I head in and do the usual sign-in and waiting game. After I take my seat, I place my hand on my stomach and feel the flutters that my princess causes against my palm. It still kind of freaks me out.

“How far along are you?”

Looking up I see a woman in her early thirties, maybe mid thirties. She’s dressed in nothing but a designer soft green pant suit with black trim. Her hair and eyes are brown, and she’s wearing square framed black glasses. She’s pretty, but she could be a knock out with my help and some contacts. “Six and half months.”

“Wow, you’re tiny for being so far along. When I was that far with my last two I was double in size.” She laughs. “Do you know the sex yet or are you going to be surprised?”

“Oh no! This girl here has to know what the nursery will be decorated in. And it’s all pink.” The things Mason has done to the nursery are beautiful. He and Ryan painted it with pink and white vertical stripes on all walls but one. It will eventually be painted with some mural of princesses and castles. Mason won’t allow me to do it or even help so I’m getting Cory. I warned her there better not be a green, wrinkled Yoda face or I’m going to coochie punch her. She just laughed like I wasn’t serious, but I am totally serious.

“How lovely!” She smiles big and I can tell she’s a genuine person. Some of my parents’ acquaintances are so fake it makes me gag when they come around. “I have two girls already and honestly, I want another.” She pats her small tummy. “However, my soon to be ex-husband wants a boy. Since he’s a cheating bastard, he doesn’t really get a vote.” She looks up surprised by her outburst, and I can’t help but laugh. “I am so sorry. I really shouldn’t have said that. Anyway, back to the subject. I don’t think I can handle a boy though. I’m like you when it comes to pink.”

We continue to talk and she tells me that she’s only fourteen weeks pregnant and her daughters are nine and six in age. Complete opposites from each other too. The younger of the two is a huge tomboy while the older is a prima donna. We don’t mention the ex again and I’m glad. I feel as though it’s still a fresh wound. Soon, I feel the couch dip beside me and look to see a smiling Mason beside me.

“It’s about time.” I lean in and kiss his cheek.

That’s not good enough however. He gives my new friend and the whole doctor’s office a show with a heated kiss that has me wishing we were alone. My toes curl and my body shifts in his direction desperate to get closer. He pulls away before I can climb in his lap and a whine erupts from me. Of course he only laughs at me.

“How are my girls today?” One hand is around my shoulders while the other goes to my belly and she kicks immediately. It’s like she knows him as her daddy even though he’s not by blood.

“Well, she’s great and her mommy is wonderful now.” Remembering my manners, I turn ready to introduce Mason to my new friend who I’ve just met and have yet to learn her name. Before my eyes meet hers my world stops and my blood turns to ice. I feel sick and disgusting all at once and desperately want to wash myself clean. Sitting beside her is her soon to be ex-husband and my ex-lover.

Ollie.

I’m frozen as he stares at me while the cold blood rushes in my head and my breathing stops. I thought that seeing him was enough to have me freaked out, but when Mason stands up and shakes his hand while smiling like my world didn’t just turn into a huge clusterfuck, I start to see spots in my eyes. Everyone’s voices are drowned out by the pounding and rushing in my brain.

I feel my daughter kick several times, so I take a much needed breath. Hurting her is not in the cards for me, so I try to smooth my features and produce a pleasant smile. I look at Mason and the wife. I refuse to make eye contact with that piece of shit for fear of him seeing the truth. However, fate has a different plan.

“Jasmine. How are you? I noticed you dropped my class last semester right before midterms. You were so good I really wish you wouldn’t have left.” He sticks his hand out for me to shake and like an idiot I do. I’ll do anything to keep the truth from Mason and have him look at me with disappointment. I feel his finger rub across my palm and my stomach rolls.

I quickly pull away before I vomit. “I learned it wasn’t for me. Life happened and I have other things to worry about.”

My name is called so I say goodbye to his wife. She stares at me with a look of comprehension in her brown eyes and I have a feeling she knows. I hate it. This woman did nothing to me and I ruined her marriage. I tore her home apart because I fell for her husband’s lies. And now her family is suffering the consequences.

Needless to say the appointment is short and quiet, full of yes and no answers with awkward moments. Mason has been nothing but quiet, and I feel as though a red A is displayed on my body somewhere. He only kisses my cheek before he leaves and I want to cry but know it will do no good. He shouldn’t want to be with me and won’t once he’s discovered what I’ve done to that poor family. Just because I love him doesn’t mean I’m worthy of him. I’m tying him down and holding him back from a real family. I’m being selfish. Again. I leave the doctor’s office and head home with torment running through my mind. Even my usual remedy of Blake Shelton and a candy bar doesn’t brighten my mood or take away my worry. Mason said he had to go meet Chanda to get Grace. Lucky for her I feel like being alone so the thought of him around Chanda doesn’t bother me as much as usual. The girl might be civil around me, but we are far from friends.

Today’s bizarre encounter has given me a headache. Instead of studying like I need to for this semester’s midterms, I crash on my couch. Or at least try too. Before I know it a loud banging breaks through the silence. It continues and I realize it’s coming from my door. Bastards!

Opening it before looking in the peephole, I’m surprised when I’m shoved aside and Ollie walks in. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Oh don’t be so damn dramatic, Jasmine. You know why I’m here.” He takes off his sport coat and lays it across my couch like he’s home from work and does this every day. The nerve of this asshat.

My mind is still groggy from my almost nap so I’m trying to take it all in, but when I look at him standing in my apartment, I know it’s real. I see the lust cloud his eyes as he takes in my cleavage that has developed with pregnancy. The memories of us that surface are unwanted and feel wrong. He needs to leave. I straighten my shoulders and roll my eyes.

“Sorry, bud, but I have absolutely no idea, and besides, you’re definitely not welcome here or anywhere else around me.”

I’m filled with Bravado and anger, but we both know I’m too small and pregnant to make him leave with force. Jax isn’t, but he’s at baseball practice. Tru might be but she has enough drama in her past and I’m not willing add to it. Besides, the asshole in front of me won’t lay a finger on me. Or at least I hope not.

“I’ll leave after I get some damn answers.” He walks in the kitchen and looks in my fridge. What the hell! “The beer in the fridge better not be yours.” He sits at the bar and takes a sip of his water. “So tell me. When is my son or daughter due? And why the fuck didn’t you call me?”

My breath falters and heartbeat picks up. I refuse to say anything. There is absolutely no way he could know the truth. Mason acted like the devoted father and boyfriend the whole time we were in front of them. “I have no idea. Ask your wife. I think she’s three months or so along.”

“Jasmine … Jasmine … Jasmine.” He sighs while shaking his head and looking at me like I’m a child, like he always did. “Do really think I’m a fool? I know for a fact that child is mine.” He finishes his water before he stands up and walks toward me. “You’re lying. It’s written all over you and your behavior.” I’m backed into the door and his body becomes flush with mine—no more tingles or heat like before, only cold fear and disgust. He reaches up to touch my lips but I quickly turn my face away so his hand makes contact with my cheek instead. “You were so into me all those months ago that there is absolutely no fucking way you spread those warm thighs for anyone else.” Clicking his tongue, he backs away and grabs his jacket off the couch. I exhale with relief and open the door, ready for him to leave.

“Leave. Now.” My voice croaks as anger clogs my throat.

Passing me, he stops and turns my way. “You know the beer and liquor in the fridge is not suitable for a child. Especially mine. Keep that in mind, Jasmine. I know people and I usually get what I want, and having a lot a children is something I’ve always wanted.” He winks and smirks like a true asshole. “I’ll see you around, baby.” He struts out with his coat thrown over his shoulder, leaving me shaking with his warning.

I watch him leave and when he’s gone I go inside, desperate for all that to be a dream and I’m actually still asleep on the couch but I know it’s not when I hit my toe on the chair leg.
Shit that hurts!
And that means it really did just happen and I need to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Plus it’s time to tell Mason the truth. If he lets me go, then I can’t blame him. If he stays I’ll be the happiest girl in the South. There is only one way to find out though.

Locking my door, I walk to the window and watch Oliver get in his black Escalade. My focus is solely on him and I never see the other person watching from their car or expect things to go from bad to worse.

I know today is going to be messed up. Last night I should have just stayed at Mom’s instead of coming back to the frat house when she got home early this morning. Instead, I fell back to sleep and missed my alarm, along with my first class. I’ve had a bad feeling all day and trying to push it out of my head is useless. Things just have just gone from bad to worse.

Watching Jazz’s face pale after I shake Professor Wallace’s hand was a kick in the gut. For months now I’ve been wondering who the guy is, but I never expected this. I’ve always respected him and kind of looked up to him. He even suggested I join my fraternity and wrote my letter of recommendation to the school’s engineering program. He’s actually really smart, plus he helps with the biochemical program and that in itself can be difficult. He’s even called me a few times to fix the class projector and his personal computer. I never would have imagined this. The whole situation is fucked up and if I’m feeling this way I can only imagine how Jazz feels.

Driving in silence, I let everything sink in until I pull into Mom’s. When I’m inside Chanda is feeding Grace dinner and gives me a run down while I just stand there. I’m sure my face shows my lack of interest in what she’s telling me. Everything is a blur and I feel like shit. Feeling a tap on my arm, I see her standing in front of me.

“Hey. Earth to Mason.” She waves her hand in my face. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just had a long day.” Sitting beside Grace, I watch Chanda and notice she still has a limp. When Jax and I picked her up that night I noticed her knee was skinned pretty bad and bleeding. She says the guy she was with pushed her down when she tried to stop him. I don’t know how she finds these assholes, but for some reason she’s attracted to them.

“Are you sure? You look like shit.” She comes over again and feels my forehead. “You’re not sick. Do I need to kick your baby mama’s ass?”

My eyes narrow as my temper is alerted. “Don’t touch her, Chanda. I mean it.”

Hands up in surrender she backs up. “Alright, ass wipe. Chill!” She looks at the clock before grabbing her coat and heads for the door. “I’ll see you later.”