Learning to Let Go (12 page)

“Hmm…” She began to turn over and smile in my direction.

My arms squeezed her tightly to my chest as I let one hand roam up to cup her breast and give her pert nipple a little squeeze. “I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just wanted to feel you against me.”

She had a peaceful look on her face, the first one in weeks. She leaned her head back to where our eyes met, her ass brushing against my groin. The feel of her skin against mine was exquisite.
Did she have any idea the power she had over me?

“Sorry I fell asleep, Garrett, but you kind of wore me out.” She smiled coyly as she leaned up and kissed the edge of my jaw.

Laurel’s touch did so many things to me. I felt gentleness, caring, seduction and love from the brushes of her skin with mine. I went from hard to downright painful; it would be worse if I didn’t get some relief soon.

When my cock brushed up against her, she looked surprised. “Again?” she asked.

One of my hands circled around her chest, grabbing tight to one of her breasts as my lips descended on hers. I needed to touch her, taste her; I needed to claim her again, to mark her as mine.

I probed her mouth with my tongue, pleasantly surprised to find her countering with her own. I began dropping kisses across her neck and down her shoulder, keeping up ministrations of her breasts with one hand while the other ran down the course of her body before hitching one of legs back over my hip. She gasped as my fingers sought entrance to her fine pussy. I couldn’t help the dominant growl that came from me when my fingers found her sopping wet, ready to take my dick.

“You’re wet already, love. I want you again.”

She pushed back against me. Her eyes were hooded and the smell of her arousal was driving me to the point of insanity if I didn’t get inside her soon. “Yes, take me,” she said breathily, and it was so sexy I almost came right there. “I’m yours.”

My fingers guided my cock to her entrance and then pushed in slowly. The feel of her walls was like wet satin gripping tightly against me. With every inch I embedded, her walls would clamp down around me, trying to lock me further into place. Nothing ever felt this perfect to me.

When I was fully seated, I was surprised how she started trying to rock against my cock. I tried to hold her tight and just cherish the feel of her. The first time we had rushed a bit to relieve our pent up frustrations and physical need for one another. This moment was meant to cherish.

“Slow down, darling,” I murmured into her hair. “We have forever to get reacquainted.”
Whoa, did I just say forever? I’m not going to worry about it now, although the idea does have some appeal. I’ll have to revisit this later, because pleasure was calling my name and my bliss was Laurel.

“Hmm…sounds nice, but don’t make promises you’re not willing to keep.” She knew me all too well, but I could try to change for her; I’ll adjust if I want a chance at forever.

I withdrew and pushed back in slowly. Her little whimpers and moans of ecstasy made me pick up the pace diminutively until her walls started massaging my every move. I wanted to hold out, but she kept pleading, “Faster, Garrett. Fuck me faster.”

I let loose on her and she came without warning, sucking me into her tight hole and gripping hard on my cock, triggering my release and taking everything I had. Nothing in my life has ever come close to feeling the way I do about Laurel.

We cuddled in bed for a while afterwards before I got up to reheat part of our lunch. I hoped that our “workout” was enough to get her to try and eat a little.

“What’s that? It looks familiar,” she asked, looking questionably at everything on the tray. “I hope you don’t expect me to eat all this. I’m only good at keeping liquids down.”

“I had Deidre fix a variety of things, mostly bland, so you could try eating a little more than just creamy broths. You have some fruit salad, iced tea, fresh baked rolls with butter and the pièce de résistance…chicken and dumpling soup.” I tried to introduce everything with some flair to make things more appealing, but truthfully, it appeared to be a tray covered in a sea of white on white on white, the only difference the vibrant colors of the fruit salad and tea.

She took a whiff of the soup. “This smells delicious,” she said before taking a spoonful. She looked at me with a bit of bemusement and perplexity. Her finger pointed towards the soup. “Is that my mom’s recipe? How did you?”

I loved how sharp her mind was. One of the many things I enjoyed about my Laurel.
That sounds amazing in my mind…my Laurel.

“Grace called your mom for the recipe. She remembered that you used to love your mom’s chicken and dumplings as comfort food. Since you’re only able to hold down soup right now, Deidre made the dumplings bite-sized and thinned out the base to make it easier to digest.”

She smiled, but a few tears escaped her eyes. “My mom did the same thing, turning it into soup when I was sick and shoving a few pieces of carrots and peas in for color. It tastes delicious. Definitely bringing back warmer memories for me.”

I was happy to see her pick up the bowl and start eating. “I like to see you eat,” I said with a smile. “I’ve been worried about your sugar levels being out of control with the lack of food in your system.” I picked up my own bowl and dug in. “Damn, this tastes good. I think I’ll have Deidre put this on rotation for meals.”

The meal was so delicious that we ate in companionable silence. She kept her eyes on her bowl, while I kept my eyes on her. I was happy to see her feeling better, finally willing to eat.

I was on my third bowl when she finished her first one and I heard her stomach growl for more. “Do you want some more?”

She shook her head. “Thanks, but I’m afraid if I eat more than this, I might throw it back up.” I was about to protest, when she added, “This is more than I’ve been able to keep down in a while. If I’m not feeling sick in about ten minutes, then I’ll try a roll and some fruit.”

I knew this was meant to appease me, so I lay off the comments. When we were done with lunch, she had managed the bowl of soup, a couple of rolls and a good amount of fruit. We showered together after that, enjoying another rendezvous under the spray, before heading out on deck for a little sun and fresh air. The feel of her muscles relaxing while I lathered her in sunscreen, knowing that she was finally letting go of some of the tension, did wonders for me. I found myself beginning to relax too.

She began to fill her hands with sunscreen, offering to coat the areas of my back. “I meant to ask you earlier, when did you get a tattoo and what is it?”

I chuckled a bit. “I got it while we were apart. You mean you haven’t noticed it until now?”

Her hand slapped at my arm playfully. “You’ve kept me rather occupied the last several hours. I saw a glimpse of it when you went to meet Thompson, but couldn’t really tell what’s there.”

I turned so she could get a good look at the head shot I had etched onto my skin from our first formal outing at the diabetes benefit gala. I could tell the moment she did because her breath caught and she dropped the container of sunscreen on the deck.

“That’s me! Why?” Thankfully her voice wasn’t angry, only questioning.

“Why not?” I countered. “I wanted to show you how serious I was about us and gaining your trust back.”

“But with a tattoo, it’s permanent, Garrett. And on your back?” Her words argued with me, but her hands kept grazing over the area with soft touches.

I faced her, placing my hands on each of her arms and gazing deep into her eyes. “I know. I just wanted a little piece of you with me always, Laurel. With the tattoo I feel like you’re constantly watching over me, that you’re here with me. I’m not completely done with it. I just haven’t had the time to go back in to finish the design.”

“What’s left to finish?”

“I want to put a heart etched over my own, with a banner displaying your name. Because you’ll always own a piece of my heart. Plus, I want the words ‘My Love’ etched under your picture.” His voice was laden with seduction. “I have an appointment next week to finish things.”

Tears began to fill her eyes at my admission. She had me turn back around and I could feel her hands tracing the outline of her face and hair. “Is this a picture of me from one of the benefits?”

I nodded, enjoying the feel of her hands on my skin.

“I didn’t even know you had a picture of me, other than the one for my employee ID badge.”

I still couldn’t tell whether she was pleased or pissed at me. I turned and lifted her chin so I could look down into her eyes and see into her soul. “Do you like it?” I asked pointedly

Laurel looked mesmerized for a moment. “I liked your skin untouched, but…” she chewed on her bottom lip a moment as if trying to find the right words, “it’s beautiful. Whoever did it is extremely detailed.” Tears began to form at the corners of her eyes. “You really do care a great deal for me.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for the past month and a half.” I pulled her into a warm embrace and just held her. This felt so right. I just hoped we could continue on this path, because I was anxious to see where it led.

We returned to the beach house a few hours later to enjoy a quiet evening together, or so I thought. The night had started out wonderfully with us enjoying some more “exercise” in the hot tub and my bedroom. She finally settled enough to fall into a deep sleep after ten, allowing me to make a couple of important phone calls that needed to be handled.

The appointment was set for my therapist, Jocelyn Matson, to arrive tomorrow and stay through the end of the week to get Laurel and me going on our issues. I would sit in on Laurel’s appointments if she wanted and vice versa, but I didn’t know how much I was ready to reveal of myself and whether it would push her away or bring us closer. Frankly, the idea scared the shit out of me.

I had managed to talk with Thompson to get an update on Chase, hoping we were closing in on his location or had the name of the person who was providing him with fake ID and paperwork. I didn’t like hearing the bastard was still on the loose and we were no closer to finding him, with only false leads of where he was. I asked that he and Dillon offer up rewards, through their contacts, for any good leads and to extend the background search to Chase’s father to see if he was aiding and abetting his son.

I called Grace and Jonathan next, who were happy to hear that Laurel was doing better and had finally agreed to some therapy. I let them know that we hoped to return to Orlando by the weekend, though it all depended on her progress and ability to deal with things.

I’d just hung up the phone when I heard a piercing scream come from my bedroom. I rushed and flipped on the light next to the bed. She was tangled up in the covers, crying and breathing hard. Another nightmare.

“Please, don’t hurt me! Why can’t you just leave me alone?!” Her voice was laced with pain and fear.

“Laurel, honey. It’s time to wake up.” I grabbed hold of her shoulders and tried stilling her before she ended up falling off the bed.

Her eyes popped open, searching the room to see where she was before breaking down in my arms and sobbing. “Why can’t I just get rid of these images in my head?” she asked blearily. “I just want to be able to sleep again.”

I slowly unraveled her from the sheets and rubbed circles up and down her back, trying to calm her. “I know, sweetheart. I’ve been where you are, though under different circumstances, but I understand what you’re going through. Do you feel like talking about it?”

She shook her head. “Not yet.”

“Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here for you, Laurel.” I continued to just hold her and rock her gently in my arms.

Her arms wrapped around my chest, holding tight to me like I was her life preserver in a sea of confusion. In actuality, she was the life line to my soul, where my heart finally beat again.

“Thank you, Garrett. You don’t realize how much I need you right now.”

Truth be told, I needed her as badly, if not worse, as she needed me.