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My stomach knots. I take a deep breath and open the sheet of loose-leaf.

I know it’s been a while and the way I left things was less than ideal. I had some time to get my mind, body, and spirit right. I’d like to see the children. I’m sure they’ve missed me as much as I did them. I might not have been there in person, but I assure you I was there in spirit. When I woke up that day, I just knew I couldn’t go through with it. Not even to make you happy.

Tony was there for me while I tried to make myself fit into your mold. We spent a lot of time together, and one thing led to another. He gets me. He didn’t judge, and we fit so much better than you and I did. You and Liv deserved better than what we gave you and for that I’m sorry. He has his own amends to make with her.

We want to settle things so we can all co-exist peacefully. Tony and I are married and expecting our own bundle of joy. We’d like him or her to know their siblings. I’ve left my phone number and address behind for you. We’re a few hours away in Austin. Please contact me when you’re ready. I think it’s time we put this thing to rest.

Rain

Over my dead body.
  I ball up the letter and throw it in the trash. I’m not going to let her ruin this moment for me. It’s like she sensed I was actually moving on. She has the nerve to want to make things right, not for the kids, but for her new family. I grind my teeth together and shred the envelope. If she wants to come for me legally, I’m up for the challenge, but I’m not giving her an opportunity to hurt the children more than she already has.

“Hey.”

I look up at Liv leaning in the doorframe and grin.

“Hey yourself.”
“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just someone trying to peddle some bullshit. Nothing to worry about.” I push the letter of my mind and focus on the woman I plan on spending the rest of my life with.  I pat my knees. “Have a seat.

“You haven’t gotten enough of me, yet?” she asks.

“Impossible,” I say as she sashays over.

She sinks down and I wrap my arms around her waist and bury my face into her neck, inhaling her scent to calm my fraying nerves. Together, we got this.

Chapter Five

LIV

“Will you be here in the morning?” Phoenix asks.

“Yes baby, I will.”

“That’s a lot of sleep overs. I like it. I wish you could be here all the time.” I glance across the bed at Houston. He fake coughs to cover his laugh and I narrow my gaze.

“Me too, buddy. I love spending time with you guys.”

He lets out a sleepy yawn. “Now to bet with you, so we can get up in the morning.”

“Okay, Livy, Love you.”

Houston bends down and brushes his son’s forehead. The boy gives a giggle at the tickle of his beard.

“Love you little man.”

“Love you too, daddy.”

The bond between them is beautiful to witness. Houston is never shy with his affection or imposing with his beliefs on gender roles. If Phoenix wants to play house, or baking, it’s embraced with open arms. He shows Echo and Deja all about cars without hesitation. It’s part of the reason I fell for him. We’ve been dating for a few months, and I’m home less and less. His room has become our room and the children are starting to notice. Our friends and family have been kind enough to keep their comments to themselves while we stumble through this process.

We’re working on dismantling the walls we’ve built up and forming a new home together. It’s all backwards. There’s no getting to know you period or courtship. We’ve been thrust deep into the waters of a serious relationship. It’s like coming home after a long quest. We stand from the bed and move into the living room.

“They’re exhausted,” Houston says.

“Wasn’t that the point of breaking out the kiddie pool after school? “I ask.

“It was. I have plans for you that don’t need to be interrupted.”

“Oh, are we going to play a mean game of Scrabble tonight?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of hide the sausage.”

I choke out a laugh. “You’re awful.”

“Just eager to spend time worshipping my beautiful goddess.”

“You’re as good with your words as you are with your hands. Do you know that?”  I thread my fingers through his growing hair and massage his scalp. He groans, and his eyes go to half-mast.

“I’m glad you think so. But I’m more a man of action.” He pulls my body to his. Dating is different when children are involved. Late nights on the town, romantic dinners at the fanciest restaurants, and weekend getaways are few and far in-between. Still, I don’t feel as if I’m missing out. What Houston and the children give me is more fulfilling than any other relationship I’ve been in. Through the eyes of children and the strong man who fathered them, I’ve learned the meaning of unconditional love.

“I think it’s time we take this to someplace a little more private.” He scoops me up behind my knees and holds me to his chest. I wrap my legs around him grateful for the time he’s put in at the exercise room he set up in the house. I’ve never felt so cared for by a man. For a man who looks like a lumberjack, Houston has a romantic streak that would put most Romcom’s to shame.

I lift my face, and he bends down to meet my lips. Sparks come to life inside me. I wrap my arms his neck and slip my tongue into his mouth as he slowly navigates the hallway. He opens the door to his room, sets me on the floor and closes the door behind him. We quickly shed our clothes. He pulls my hair tight, and I peer up at him. Our lips meet, and our tongues tease as he walks me backward to the bed. I sink onto the bed and grip his base and suck his balls into my mouth. He throws his head back and gives a muffled groan.

“Careful. If you get too loud, I’ll have to stop.”

“You do that, and I’ll spank that thick ass of yours.”

The words spread heat throughout my body. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

His eyes darken with lust. “Give me that ass and find out.” His voice is gravelly and smoky. I release his head with a pop and assume the position on my hands and knees. My belly tightens with anticipation the walls of my pussy flex. He lightly scrapes his nails over my ass. “I been daydreaming of burying my face and my cock in this for months.” He delivers a sharp blow, and I jump. I think it’s time I make good on my promise to experience everything you have to offer.”

“Houston,” her voice wavers.

He nips her ass and kisses it better. “Don’t worry I’m going to make it good for you.”

“I- I’ve never done that.”

“Good. I like being your first.”

He buries his face between my cheeks priming me as he teases my puckered rosette. Tendrils of pleasure shot through my body. My nipples turned to stone, and something moves low in my belly. The unusual sensation steals the breath from my lungs. I rock back into him. “That’s it. Let me play with your ass.” He plunges his tongue inside, and I cry out in scandalized pleasure. This tongue lashing is almost too intimate and sinfully naughty.

He slips a hand between my legs and rubs my swollen bundle of nerves. I come, hard, burying my face into pillows to keep from being heard. I vaguely register the nightstand opening and lube being squeezed out.

“It’s going to be a little cool.” He spreads the lube around my hole. “I need you to stay relaxed for me baby, just like you are now.” He presses a finger slowly into my ass. I tense as the ring of muscles protests. “Easy baby.” Spread your legs.” He slips between my thighs and licks my clit as he pushes slowly inside my ass. I relax, and he gets knuckle deep.

I exhale, and he pulls out and pushes back in. This new friction is delicious

“So full,” I whimper.

“It’s going to get even better.” He returns to eating me out, and I’m rocking against his tongue as he fucks me with his finger. He eases in two fingers, and I swear I can feel every inch of them. The intensity has me gasping for breath. I can’t decide if it’s a good intense or a bad one yet.  An orgasm slams into me.

An explosion rocks my body, and he continues to lap at me like a dehydrated man at an oasis.

“We’re going to work our way up to more, but you did do good, Kitten.”  He moves from underneath me and slides behind, pulling me back to chest. His hard cock slips inside my sensitive core, and I relax into him as he loves me slow and thorough.

***

I’m still floating on cloud nine as I arrive at my house after a long day of work. I was happy before, but now I feel complete. Houston makes me feel whole. My life is fuller for the love we share. The years alone were instrumental in preparing me to be ready. I had to learn who I was and find my worth.

I would never put up with the bullshit from Tony today. Back then, I couldn’t see how screwed up the situation I lived in was. I put the car in park and exit, eager for the weekend to start. I’m going to change into comfy clothes and meet up with Efia for dinner.  I walk up the stairs, and I spot an all too familiar person sitting in front of my door.

Am I hallucinating?
I blink. It’s like I thought this nightmarish situation into existence. Time’s been kind. His angular face is more defined, and he’s grown a goatee.

“Anthony?”

He looks up and rises to his feet.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask. 

“I’m here to talk.”

“There’s not a damn thing you need to say to me other than goodbye. You can walk off this property, or I can have you removed.”  I cross my arms beneath my chest to keep from hauling off and decking him.

“I see Houston didn’t tell you.”

“Don’t you say his name. You lost that privilege years ago.”

“Did Rain?”

“Of course, you and that treacherous bitch would still be in cahoots.”

“Are you even listening to yourself right now? You make us sound like cartoon villains.”

“No, there was nothing humorous about what the two of you did.” I snarl like a cat defending it’s young.

“What are you his guardian now?”

I grind my teeth together. “It’s none of your business what we are.”

“Oh, this is rich.” He laughs. “You’re together now, right? Sloppy seconds.” He shakes his head. “You’ll never be happy.”

“Fuck you.”

He holds up his hand and the light glints off a gold ring. “Are you kidding me? She married you?”

“Yes, which you would know if lover boy was honest.”

The words make me sick to my stomach. “What are you talking about?”

“Already trouble in paradise. She sent him a letter. We want to see the kids.”

“Over my dead body.”

“We’re trying to do this the nice way. You know the courts tend to favor mothers. We’re married with a son on the way. Who do you think provides the better household? A single father and his girlfriend, or a ready-made family?”

“Last I checked, parents aren’t allowed to run off with no word and come back and make demands.” I’m in deep water and sinking fast..
I’ve seen drug users get their children back because they wanted to give the mother a chance to raise her children. Would they feel sympathy for an overwhelmed bride who ran? My stomach knots.

“This is a final warning. Contact us so we can set up arrangements, or be prepared to head to court. We’re trying to do the right thing here.”

“You have no clue what those words mean.”

“I do after being with the right person.”

The sentence was a slap in the face. My jaw drops. “You are one sorry ass motherfucker. Is this how you get your kicks? Rolling up on people you screwed over and trying to scare them? The old Liv is gone, and the one standing her in her place is trying not to let you know how she feels about you.” I clench and unclench my fists.

He snorts. “Like you’d have the guts.”

I slap the taste of his mouth before I realize my hands are moving. His eyes go wide, and he takes a step back. “You crazy ass bitch.”

“Damn straight. Please come for me. I want to show you how changed I am.”

“I tried to do this the peaceful way. I see now there’s no reasoning with you.”

He stalks off, and I watch him throw narrowed eyes. Furious doesn’t begin to cover the way I feel right now. I’m seething.  Just like that, he stole the peace and joy I had fought tooth and nail for. Fear puts out the flames of rage, and I hurry to my car.

***

Houston

The sound of tires squealing sends me racing to the door. Liv exits her car still clad in work clothing. My heart beats faster as I open the door.

“What’s going on?” I call as she stalks toward me, a woman on a mission with a stern expression and eyes full of anger.

“How dare you?” Her words are quiet and laced with venom.

“What the fuck?" I say more to myself than her.

“How dare you keep the fact that Rain contacted you a secret.”

“How do you know that?” I ask.

“Because her husband swung by for a visit. I should’ve been prepared for that.”

I step off the porch, close the screen door behind me, and scan her face for signs of damage. “Are you okay? Wait. Stupid question. Did he hurt you?”

“You know what hurt me? The fact that you hid this."

“I didn’t hide it. It was a letter. She didn’t show up or call. She wrote three paragraphs of half-ass reasons why she left me and so kindly updated me on her new husband with a request to be in the kids’ life again. I didn’t think it barred mentioning.

We’d just gotten together and were trying to figure our new situation out. She’s such a flake. I never expected her to follow up.”  I cup her face. “Are you sure he didn't hurt you?”

“No, I slapped him, though.”

I narrow my eyes. “That doesn’t sound like you. What happened?”

“He told me I was a shit girlfriend in so many words and proceeded to explain that our best bet would be to settle out of court for custody because the system tends to favor mothers and they have a full household.” 

“I’ll kill that son of a bitch.” I imagine the life leaving his body after I snap his neck and let him fall to the ground, lifeless and unable to cause any more pain to my family.

She presses her hands against my chest. “No, that would give them fuel. Let’s hope he doesn’t press charges on me.”

She’s right. I grit my teeth to keep the fowl images in my head from spilling out of my mouth.

“You should’ve told me.”

“I didn’t think—

“It doesn’t matter what you thought. It’s my choice and my right to know.”

“I was trying to protect you. Why dredge up old memories and hurt you more?”

“Because you don’t get to take away my choice.”

“I love you. I will always try to protect you and keep you safe. If you want to be upset about that, be my guest. But I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“I can’t be here with you right now.  Start getting things together on your end. Call your lawyer and catch him up.” She moves to leave. I grab her wrist.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. I need a minute to myself.”

“Why?”

“It’s a lot to process.”