LeftInTheDarkness (2 page)

“I’m surprised she’s not here now,” Devlin remarked.

“She insisted on going out to buy me some new clothes. I guess when she tried to go to my house to pick my stuff up, it’d been trashed.”

Taylor didn’t add that his brother had pissed on everything. As if it weren’t bad enough that he’d kicked Taylor’s ass, he still had to add one final
screw off
. Even though Taylor should have been used to that kind of treatment, it still didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Do you want me to kick his ass for you?” Devlin offered.

Even though they shared a chuckle, Taylor knew the offer was serious. Like Christian, Devlin knew how to defend himself. Taylor had seen Devlin in action, and he had some mad skills. Even though Taylor’s brother may be bigger, Devlin wouldn’t have any problems taking him out.

The offer sounded so tempting, but Taylor knew he couldn’t take it. “No, I don’t want you to get in any trouble. I just want to forget this whole thing and get on with my life.”

Even as Taylor said those words, he knew that it would never happen. Like it or not, that night had left scars, both inside and out. The last little bit of innocence left in Taylor had been shattered, and there was no putting it back together again.

As stupid as it might seem, Taylor always hoped that one day his family would accept him. Now that he knew that would never happen, a hallow ache was left where his heart used to be.

“It’s going to be okay,” Devlin soothed.

“No, it’s not, and we both know it.”

Taylor waited for Devlin to deny it, but in the end his friend said, “You’re right, it’s not. But we can try to put some of the pieces back together.”

“Wow, that almost sounded poetic. If I didn’t know better, I’d actually think you gave a damn,” Taylor shot back.

When Devlin only grunted in reply, Taylor let out a soft chuckle. “Don’t worry. I promise not to tell anybody that you’re a big softy.”

He waited for Devlin to deny it, but in the end, his friend admitted, “Just for you, Christian, and Andy.”

There was a beat before Devlin added, “And James.”

“Yeah, I still care about him, too.”

Taylor more than cared, he was worried about James. There had been a good reason why James cowered in the closet. Now that he was out, he would have to face hate not only at school, but home as well. While James might look the part of the big, tough jock, on the inside, he was the most vulnerable of all of them. He would be facing all the crap alone, too. That was unless Taylor and the others could forgive him. But how does one forgive somebody who literally turned their back when he was needed the most?

Chapter Two

As he walked out of the hospital, Devlin flipped up the collar of his jacket in an attempt to stay dry. A soft rain fell, but one look at the dark, rolling clouds told him that it would soon turn into a downpour. Normally, he wouldn’t care about getting wet, but with as far away as he had been forced to park, he’d be drenched by the time he reached his car.

“How is he?” a voice called from behind him.

Heart racing, Devlin turned. He even got into a low karate pose. Not that he could really do anything special in the martial arts area. All his skills were in boxing and street fighting. He’d only had one karate class, and that had been when he’d been five. Even then, he’d only made it halfway through the class before they kicked him out for hitting the instructor.

Okay, maybe he’d also yelled,
This is what I think of your wax on, wax off!
But, in his defense, the studio did have a poster of the
Karate Kid
on display, so they’d been asking for it.

When Devlin saw James standing there, Devlin let out a sigh of irritation. “What the hell? Have you taken up stalking as a new hobby or something?”

James took a step forward. He must have been hanging around for a while because his raven hair was plastered around his pale, pinched face.

It pained Devlin to see his cousin that way. Just a few days ago, James had been so happy…or at least, he hadn’t looked like the world just stomped on him.

Then Devlin recalled how Taylor looked, and all his sympathy for his cousin flew away. Devlin even found himself a bit glad that James felt like crap. After all the time James let Taylor down, it would do the jerk some good to know how the other half lived.

“Is Taylor okay?” James repeated.

“He’s just ducky,” Devlin sneered. “Now why don’t you crawl back into your closet? If there’s any news I’ll make sure to send you a text.”

Devlin knew his comments were harsh, but every time he tried to pull back, he flashed back to that night and saw Christian and Taylor being attacked. While Devlin knew it probably wasn’t fair, a large part of him felt that James could have done something to prevent the bashing from ever happening.

James reached out a hand as if to touch Devlin, but, at the last minute, dropped it. The rain picked up, and now both of them were getting soaked, but Devlin no longer cared.

“I didn’t think it would get that bad,” James said in a small voice.

“What did you think was going to happen? That they were going to challenge Taylor and Christian to a game of charades or something?”

James shifted his gaze to the ground, his throat working as he swallowed hard. “I was afraid.”

“Yeah, so was Christian, but he still stood by Taylor’s side.”

For a moment, James was silent, this his lips formed one word,
Christian.

Devlin’s heart lurched as he recalled the way Christian used to fawn over James. In fact, until the day of the attack, he’d practically worshiped the guy. While Christian said he no longer felt anything for James, the small insecure voice inside Devlin still let out a cry of alarm.

“What about him?” Devlin asked as he balled his fingers into fists.

A loud burst of thunder sounded, but neither reacted to it. James lifted his gaze, only this time instead of guilt, anger glittered in his blue eyes.

“The only reason you’re with him is to get back at me!” James accused.

Devlin didn’t have to fake his outraged reaction. “Are you shitting me?”

James clenched his jaw and took a step forward. “You never showed an interest in him until the other night. Why the big, sudden change?”

I always liked him. You were just too caught up in your own drama to notice.
Even though those words echoed in his head, Devlin wouldn’t give James the satisfaction of hearing them.

Taking a deep breath, Devlin replied, “Ever since you met, Christian, you knew he had a crush on you. Yet, you kept pushing him away. How long did you think it would take before there was somebody there to catch him?”

James surged forward and gave Devlin a slight shove. “So, now what? You’re going to make him fall for you? Then after you fuck him, you’re going to dump him, just like you have every other guy in your life?”

Standing his ground, Devlin glared at his cousin. “Not that our sex life is any of your business, but no. When or if we do it, I’m not dumping him after.”

“What in the hell are you trying to say?” James’s brow creased in confusion.

“I’m keeping him. It’s not my fault that you were too afraid and stupid to see how great he is until it was too late.”

James let out a bitter sounding laugh. “Is this some kind of joke? Next, you’ll be saying that you actually have real feelings for him.”

Devlin cocked a brow, but said nothing. It was a tactic he’d picked up from his father, and Devlin learned the gesture often had more effect than words. Sure enough, after a few moments the smile slid from James’s rain-slicked face.

“Are you kidding me?”

“You’re going to find that Christian is one thing that I’ll never kid about.”

“How long?”

A shiver went through Devlin as a gust of wind hit them. “How long have I wanted him? From the very first day we all met at the Haven House Coffee shop.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything before now?”

Because until the other night, Christian only looked at me with disgust. Once I had my chance, though, I knew I was going to take it, even if it ended up hurting you. While that makes me as big as a bastard as my dad, I couldn’t help myself.

 “That really doesn’t matter now. We’re together, and that’s all you need to know,” Devlin said.

He hated how clipped his voice sounded. But just as soon as he thought that, his father’s most repeated lesson rang through Devlin’s head,
Hurt them before they hurt you. If you do that, you’ll always end up on top.

Damn if it wasn’t hard at times to remember that. Especially when James’s face crumpled a bit. Before he could stop himself, Devlin reached out and put a hand on James’s shoulder. “Are you going to be okay?”

James shot him a look that was so full of hurt, fear, and confusion that Devlin felt his heart break. Damn it, yes, James might have fucked up, and, yes, Devlin might be pissed about it, but they were still cousins. And even while the rest of the world might think Devlin was an asshole through and through, James was one of the few people in the world who realized that wasn’t entirely true. As such, he was one of only a handful who could actually make Devlin feel guilty over his actions.

“How am I supposed to be okay?” James bit out. “I lost Taylor as my friend. You as my cousin. Christian as my…gah, I don’t even know how to label that one. My parents are pissed at me and still threatening to send me away to that conversion camp. Plus, my football team won’t talk to me anymore since I came out. I lost everything. Most of all, I let Taylor down, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that.”

“You didn’t lose me,” Devlin said.

A bright flash of lighting streaked above, briefly illuminating them. Devlin saw how badly James shivered and that his cousin’s lips were blue from cold. The protective nature in Devlin took over and he pulled James into a hug.

“It’ll be okay,” Devlin soothed, hoping he wasn’t lying.

“Just….just don’t hurt him,” James replied as he returned the embrace.

“Who? Taylor?”

“No, Christian.”

For the first time, Devlin was completely, one hundred percent, honest. “I would rather shoot myself in the head than hurt him.”

“That’s a bit melodramatic. I think you’ve been hanging out with Andy too much.”

James did have a point. Andy did have the crown and sash when it came to drama. At the vigil, he’d even insisted on singing
The Wind Beneath My Wings
. All despite the fact that he was tone deaf and only remembered half the words. Things grew worse when their other friend, Jessica, joined in and made it a duet—that was, if two yowling cats even qualified as a duet.

They pulled apart, then Devlin jerked his head toward the parking lot. “Come on, let me give you a ride home.”

When a flicker of apprehension passed over James’s gaze, Devlin pressed, “Does your father know you’re here?”

“No, he thinks I’m still in my room.”

“Are you grounded?”

“If you call being locked in my room as soon as I get home from school
grounded
, then, yeah.”

A surge of anger hit Devlin. Damn, he’d known his uncle was a first class asshole and homophobe, but that was taking it far, even for him. What was next? Chains and handcuffs?

“How did you get here?” he asked.

“Remember that tree branch by my window?” James gave a devilish grin.

“You mean the one we used to sneak out whenever I stayed the night at your house?”

“Yeah, it’s still there and as sturdy as ever.”

Devlin glanced up at the sky, blinking as drops of rain fell into his eyes. “I don’t think you’ll be able to get back in that way.”

“I’ll just hide out in the shed until it clears up. I’ve done it plenty of times before.”

Damn it, but Devlin didn’t like that option. On the other hand, he didn’t see a better solution. If James’s father found out he had snuck out, then James would be in real trouble.

“Fine, but let me still give you a ride home. I’ll drop you off a couple of houses down, so he doesn’t see my car.”

After a moment’s hesitation, James nodded, then followed Devlin to his car. Once they got in, Devlin cranked the heat up, even going so far as to turn on the seat warmers.

James shivered as he put his hands before the vents. The pale, pinched expression still remained, and it made Devlin all the more aware of how much the kid must be suffering.

“Taylor’s going to be okay. He had some broken bones and a head injury, but he’s recovering and going to be released soon,” Devlin said.

James’s jerked, his eyes growing wide. “But, Tommy is home, too. Taylor can’t go back to that kind of environment.”

“Christian’s parents are taking in Taylor. Everybody thinks that will be a better choice. Especially since Taylor’s mom had another breakdown.”

“I guess that would be hard on her, having her son get hurt like that.”

Now, it was Devlin’s turn to let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t know if that set her off, or the fact that her perfect, all-American jock son is probably going to have a felony record after all this. Do you know that Taylor’s father hasn’t come to the hospital once? Meanwhile, the asshole couldn’t get down to the police station to bail Tommy out quickly enough.”

Devlin pulled out and started to make the drive to James’s neighborhood. While it wasn’t a long trip by car, it still was a lot of distance to cover by foot. “Did you take a bus here or something?”

James shook his head. “I didn’t even realize I was coming here until I reached the hospital entrance. It was just so cooped up in my house that I had to get out. Once I was free, I started walking, and this is where I ended up.”

After a patch of silence, James asked, “Does he hate me?”

“Who, Taylor or Christian?”

“Taylor.”

“No, I don’t think he has it in him to hate anybody. He’d probably be the first one to defend his brother if the jerk ever fessed up and admitted that what they did that night was wrong.”

“Some of the kids are laughing about it. They think Taylor got what he deserved. They said that the rest of us are going to be next.”