Let Love Heal (The Love Series) (13 page)

Bryan stiffens slightly and wipes his mouth. Suddenly, he looks uncomfortable, and for the second time tonight, I feel like I’ve stepped on a landmine.

“Emmie’s my sister,” he says quickly, but I can’t help but wonder why his body language changed when I mentioned her name.

“Oh, that’s right. I remember you telling me.” When we came here for the first time, he told me he had a sister but then never brought her up again. “How come you never talk about her though?” My curiosity is piqued now. The only reason I can think of for him not talking about her is that they don’t get along.

“It’s complicated.” He’s being short and dismissive – so uncharacteristically Bryan.

I laugh a little because it’s the only reaction I can come up with. “What do you mean ‘complicated’? She’s your sister.”

He settles back in his chair and sighs. Seemingly sorting through his thoughts to find the right words, I wonder “how difficult can this really be?”

Bryan is lost in some kind of internal debate. Trying to calm whatever fears he apparently has, I say, “Bryan, talk to me. Please.”

It’s only his sister. It’s not like he’s confessing some kind of secret human-trafficking operation where he’s the ringleader. Oh no, what if he runs a puppy mill or something horrible like that?

Geez, at least I hope not.

He’s still not talking, so I try to back track a little. Starting with something small, I ask, “How old is she?”

Baby steps. Let’s see if he can do baby steps.

Leaning forward on his elbows once again, he rests is chin on his folded hands. “She’s twelve,” he says rather quickly, but his eyes are still on mine.

“Does she play soccer too?” Seems like a logical question. What little sister doesn’t idolize her super-star brother?

“No.” His dismissiveness has changed to sadness. I see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. I reach for his hand once again because he seems more at ease when there’s that physical connection between us. It’s been there from the start, and ever since I came around and let it progress, he always seems more at ease, more himself, when we’re touching.

“What is it, Bryan? Whatever it is, you can talk to me. I only ask because I want to know you better. But, for whatever reason, if you don’t want to share, I won’t push you.” I only hope he can hear the concern in my voice. I’m really not trying to pry; I just want him to open up.

At my softly spoken words, he relaxes and starts talking. “You’re not pushing me, Melanie. I guess I’m just a little protective, that’s all.”

That last piece of information doesn’t surprise me at all. It’s one of the things I love about him.

Do I love him?

No. It’s too soon.

At least I
think
it’s too soon. I’ve never been
here
before. Maybe it is love.

Refocusing my attention back to Bryan, I say, “Well, then she’s very lucky to have such an amazing big brother.” I pause briefly to gently squeeze his hand once more as I wait for his response. “I don’t have any siblings so I’d love to learn about yours. Tell me more about her, please.”

His lips pull up at the corners and I catch a glimpse of his white teeth through his small smile. He obviously adores her, and suddenly, I am dying to know everything about this little girl who clearly has a very special spot in his heart.

“Her name is Emerson, but we call her Emmie. She’s the happiest little girl I’ve ever known.” His face is glowing with love for his little sister. It’s cute, really. I’ve always wanted a sibling. Even though I’ll always consider Maddy my sister, there’s a part of me that really missed having someone else around when I was younger.

“So why didn’t she come with your parents? Did she have an event for school or something like that and couldn’t make the flight? I would have loved to meet her.” Come to think of it, the handful of times I’ve been in his dorm, I didn’t see a picture of her anywhere. Do guys even put up pictures of their family? Either way, it’s weird that he obviously loves her very much, but there isn’t a trace of her anywhere in his daily life. I try not to be upset that he hasn’t said anything about her to me so far. I mean, we’ve only been together for a month so it’s not like we know every single little detail about each other. Distracted by my own thoughts, I forget that I’ve even asked him a question. His words bring my attention, quite abruptly, back to the conversation.

“She has Downs Syndrome,” he blurts out and I’m a bit surprised. Not that she has Downs, but because his words are very abrupt and out of the blue. But suddenly, I know why he’s so protective, why he doesn’t talk about her much. Though, judging by the way his eyes are shining and his voice is wobbling, I can tell that his not talking about her isn’t out of shame. It’s out of his need to keep her protected.

My brows furrow together in concern and disbelief. “Why do you think that will matter to me? There’s no need to keep me from knowing that.” I only hope that my words help him understand how I feel. Even if she wasn’t his sister, she’s just a little girl, but I know all too well, having been the ‘heavy kid’ growing up, just how hurtful kids can be.

“
She
cared,” Bryan’s barely whispered words break though my painful memories of being made fun of when I was younger.

“Who?”

He sighs and scrubs his hand over his face. “Courtney cared.”

I feel like I’ve just been punched in the gut. I thought there was no way I could hate her even more than I already do, but I was definitely wrong.

“What … I mean … I don’t get it. What did she say?” I know I sound like an idiot, but I can’t wrap my head around how she could have made an issue about this.

Are people really that shallow?

The waitress chooses this moment to walk over and hand us our bill, essentially halting the conversation. And then just as soon as the waitress walks away, Bella comes to our table.

Ripping the bill in half, she says, “No paying tonight. It’s a special night.” She winks over at me on that last line and I adore her even more than I already did. Bryan needed some recognition tonight and I’m glad she, and hopefully I, was able to give it to him. “Besides,” she adds almost shyly, “I might need you to come back this week. The webpage thingy that you set up for me is, ummm, how do you say …”

Bryan chuckles at her silliness and finishes her sentence. “Is it crashing, Bella?”

“Yeah, that’s it. Crashing. Can you come by this week to fix it?” she asks hopefully.

Bryan stands from his chair, kisses her on the cheek and says, “Sure thing. I’ll be back on Monday.” Extending his hand to me, he helps me out of my chair and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

Bella walks us to the door and tells us to have a good night. When we get outside, the cool autumn air breezes around us and a shiver creeps across my skin. Draping his jacket over my shoulders, Bryan says, “I’ll tell you all about Emmie and Courtney on the way to the party, okay?”

I nod, not because I have nothing to say, but because I have so much to say that I don’t want to scare him away.

After he closes my door, I watch him walk to his side and slide into his seat. Playing around with the knobs on the heater and the radio, I can tell that he’s just avoiding the conversation. So I place my hand on top of his, and cup his cheek with my other hand. I don’t say anything, but when I lean forward and skim my lips across his, he knows what I’m trying to say.

Grazing his knuckles across my cheek, he looks into my eyes so deeply that I think he might see straight through me.

Part of me knows that he already does.

When his lips collide with mine, well, I think we might just melt together as one. I’m in a complete state of bliss. His hand in my hair, his lips tentatively skimming mine at first, his tongue dancing wildly in my mouth – it all makes my pulse skitter, my heart race, my body tingle. It’s a kiss filled with need, and dare I say, love.

It’s too soon for that. So, no, I don’t say it, but I know that my kiss conveys it. His sure as hell does.

Breathless and wide-eyed, we pull away from each other. He looks like I feel, and it’s nice to know that I have the same effect on him that he has on me. But, getting me all hot and bothered isn’t going to get him out of having to talk.

After another minute of staring at me blankly, I prompt him to finally start talking. “You can kiss me like that again, but you’re still going to have to talk. So why don’t you talk now and we’ll kiss all you want later.” I wink and arch a playful eyebrow at him to which his only response is a loud chuckle. At least, he seems a bit more at ease now that he’s kissed the life out of me.

Lord knows if we didn’t have somewhere to be, there would have been a lot more than kissing going on!

Settling back in his seat, he turns down the radio and stares out into the dark evening sky spreading before us. “Courtney and I were together last year for a few months. I liked her enough to stay with her, but it wasn’t love. Definitely not love. I didn’t think she was horrible or anything, so I stayed with her to see how things would turn out,” he huffs sarcastically at that thought. I move closer to him, well, as close as my seat will allow me, and hold his hand. He starts running his thumb over my knuckles as he continues talking.

He rolls his eyes. “I was so fucking wrong though. Courtney saw a picture of Emmie in my room and well, let’s just say, her reaction showed her true colors. She tried to cover it up, but her face was all twisted in, what I call, her ‘gross’ face. Courtney never said anything to me about it, but I overheard her at some party trashing Emmie to her friend Tori, who is just as evil as Courtney by the way.” He takes a deep breath and resumes tracing his fingers over my knuckles. When he manages to calm down, I can see his face relax and his eyes soften.

The heat in the car is overwhelming, suddenly. I feel like I can’t breathe. Memories flood my brain of being taunted on the playground, of hearing the mean words follow me everywhere I went. I don’t even know Emmie, but my heart hurts for her. I wish I could hug her and tell her the world isn’t as mean as it seems.

But, then I would be lying.

“What did Courtney say, exactly?” I know it doesn’t really matter – mean is mean – the actual words are inconsequential.

He lets a huff slide past his lips as he swipes his hand across his face. “She called Emmie a retard. And she wondered why my family even kept her in the first place. And Tori, her evil sidekick, was standing there laughing with her. Hearing Courtney talk about my little sister like she was some kind of lame, old dog that needed to be put to sleep helped me really see her for who she was. An evil, cruel-hearted bitch.”

My chest constricts at what it must have been like for Bryan to hear those things about Emmie. In an instant, my insecurities about Bryan wanting Courtney over me are gone. Catching this glimpse of the person she truly is solidifies Bryan’s words that he doesn’t want her, ever again.

“When I confronted her about it, she tried to play it off like she was drunk and I was overreacting. I broke up with her on the spot. I’m pretty sure I humiliated her, but I didn’t give a shit. I still don’t give a shit. I wish she would get it through her fucking head that I don’t ever want to be with her again, but she just won’t leave me alone.” He runs his hand through his hair in frustration and a few pieces slide in front of his warm, brown eyes.

Swiping the stray locks out his eyes, I let my fingers travel along his scruffy jawline. “Bryan, I am so sorry you heard those things. You know I would never …” His lips silence me.

“Of course I know you would never say those things, that you would never feel those things. It’s one of the things I lo … That make me realize how special you are.” His last words are rushed and he clears his throat.

Was he just about to say what I think he was just about to say?

“I guess I was just nervous letting you know about Emmie. It’s stupid, I know, but I was still worried. And, like I said, I’m protective of her.” His chest puffs with pride that he takes care of Emmie, but then deflates slightly when he says, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about her sooner.” His thumb is still tracing patterns over the back of my hand.

“So why didn’t she come today?” I gently squeeze his hand reassuringly.

“She can’t fly. I mean, she goes into this sensory overload state and she gets all freaked out. When I’m here, she uses FaceTime and that’s really the only way I can see her. She loves being on the computer. It’s like a coping mechanism for her.” And with those words it’s like I’m seeing him in an entirely new light – a light that makes me love him even more.

I might be able to admit it to myself, but I’m not ready to say it to him.

Not yet.

“Is that why you’re majoring in Computer Science?” I ask softly, amazed by the poignancy of his choice.

He rubs his stubble-covered face. “Yeah, I mean, when I was in high school, I was able to rig a few things for her, and with the help of her occupational therapist and my computer stuff, she made some real progress. She was happy.” The bright smile that splits his face is a clear indication of how much he loves helping her.

The pieces are all falling into place now. “So that’s why you help Bella. It has nothing to with O’Neill, does it?” I feel like some detective on CSI who has just solved a crime or something.

“Yes.” He gives me a quick peck on the lips and smirks at me. “I actually did meet Bella and Gus through Professor O’Neill, but when I saw how frustrated they were, it reminded me of teaching Emmie how to use a computer. They shouldn’t be denied something that can help them just because they don’t understand it initially. So, I wanted to help them learn, and bring them up to speed with this century. Is that such a bad thing?” He asks playfully as one side of his mouth pulls up into the sexiest smirk I have ever seen.

I repay him the quick peck. “Nope, not at all. In fact, I think it’s a pretty great thing.” It’s actually amazing, and kind, and sweet, and well, you get the idea. It makes me feel shallow and ashamed that I ever thought Bryan would only be interested in me, or anyone for that matter, for their looks alone. In my very limited experience with guys, I never thought to encounter someone with so much depth and passion. I never thought I would be this lucky.