Let Love Heal (The Love Series) (17 page)

We lie next to each other while our breathing returns to normal. He kisses my temple as he says, “That was amazing.” I just smile and nuzzle into his solid chest.

A few minutes later, he rolls over me, places a sweet kiss to my lips, gets out of the bed and walks into the adjoining bathroom.

Left alone with my thoughts for a moment while he takes care of whatever it is guys take care of after sex, I feel bile rising in my throat. What have I just done? I can tell myself that I didn’t want to hurt him when he was already hurting all I want, but that’s a load of crap. I didn’t tell him because I was too afraid to tell him. Guilt courses through my veins and sits heavily on my chest.

When he comes back in the room and I catch sight of his beautiful and still-naked body, I can’t take it any longer. Panic rises and I bolt out of bed. That horrible sickening feeling returns and the only way to get rid of it is to purge it away.

I sprint past him into the bathroom and slam the door shut behind me. He can’t see me like this – no one can. I hear his concerned voice through my heaving and retching. “Melanie, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

When the vomiting stops and the nausea recedes, I reply, “Yeah, I’m fine. Can you just hand me my clothes.”

He cracks open the door and brings me in my sweats and tank top. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, I’ll be out in a minute.” He nods and walks back out into my room.

I can’t stand to be naked in front of him like this. It’s like my cheating is written somewhere on my body and he’ll see it if I expose myself for too long. So I get dressed in the bathroom and brush my teeth once again. When I look at myself in the mirror, I’m disgusted at my own reflection.

The last few days have beaten the shit out of me. Between leaving Mom all alone, returning to school without Maddy, attacking Peyton, debating about what to tell Bryan, hearing what he had to tell me and then making love to him – it’s all too much. It had to go somewhere; I had to deal with it somehow. There was no keeping it down any longer.

But now, having thrown up, and gotten rid of some of the pain, I feel like I can at least face him again. When I step out of the bathroom, he’s sitting at my desk chair waiting for me with a bottle of water. “I thought you could use this.” I walk toward him and he pulls me down on to his lap.

The cool water soothes my burning throat, but does nothing for my tortured soul.

Bryan wraps his arms around my waist and nuzzles into my body. “You okay?”

I nod and dismiss his concerns. “Yeah, I’m fine. I probably just ate something funky. I’ll be okay.” A pathetically weak smile follows my words.

“I don’t have to leave if you’re not feeling well. I could stay, if you’d like, I mean.” He’s half offering and half asking. Part of me wonders if he’s offering to stay just because he doesn’t want to spend the night alone. This is probably the first time he’s had any kind of comfort since finding out about his parents. That thought alone, keeps me from pushing him away.

Because that’s what I want to do. I want to push him and everyone else away and curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. But I can’t. I won’t push him away if he needs me. Part of me hopes that if I can work past these feelings of guilt on my own, if I can convince myself and him that I’m the perfect girlfriend, then I won’t have to tell him just how far from perfect I really am.

That’s when a plan solidifies in my head. I’m not going to tell him. Ever. I can keep it hidden and do everything in my power to never let it out.

Strangely emboldened by my new plan, I say, “Nothing would make me happier than if you stayed.”

Falling asleep spooned in Bryan’s arms, I vow to wake up and be the perfect girlfriend that Bryan deserves despite being the person who deserves him the least.

It won’t be the first time that I’ve had to cover up the real me, to hide my true feelings, but it will be the most difficult by far.

“I freaking hate Halloween,” I grumble loudly as I stand in front of my full-length mirror.

Maddy pokes her head out of the bathroom door and laughs. “So then don’t think of it as Halloween. Just think of tonight as any other party except everyone’s playing dress-up.”

“Sure, easy enough for you and your cute little Tinkerbell costume. What is Reid going as anyway? Because I swear to God, if you tell me Peter Pan, I’m going to lose my shit!” Just thinking about her boyfriend wearing green spandex makes me laugh out loud.

Maddy comes out of the bathroom and holds her wings out in front of her. I help her loop her arms through them. “Thanks. And no, he is most definitely not going as Peter Pan. I don’t think he’s wearing a costume at all. I think it’s against some kind of guy code to get dressed up for Halloween.” She adds a thin layer of lip gloss and then puckers her lips. “Is Bryan dressing up?”

“No. Like you said, it’s against some kind of guy code, right? I’m just happy he decided to come. It’s not like he really knows any of you or the guys for that matter.” I know he’ll fit in just fine – he’s terrific and we’re great, but he’s only met Maddy once. I feel like tonight is a test of sorts, and of course, I have to go through this test while in some stupid costume of course.

Looking down at my outfit, I huff and say, “Yeah, but it’s like a requirement for girls to slut it up as best they can, right?” I arch an eyebrow and Maddy turns to the side as she eyes her costume in the mirror.

“You think I look slutty?” She sounds affronted, but I quickly take back my words. “No. No you look great, really you do. I just hate that every costume out there is just a ‘sexy’ version of what should be a normal costume. Why can’t I just go as a nurse? Why do I have to be a
sexy
nurse?”

“Melanie, I think you look adorable.” Maddy scans my costume. I chose to go as a black cat. I’m wearing black leggings, a cute cheerleader style black pleated skirt, a black long-sleeved billowy top, a headband with kitten ears and painted on whiskers. She’s right. It’s adorable and not at all sexy.

I harrumph and flop on the bed. She doesn’t let me stay there. “Come on, the girls are waiting. You look great, so quit your worrying.”

When we walk out into the living room, Cammie and Lia are waiting for us – as usual. Cammie looks gorgeous dressed as a Greek Goddess. She might freeze her ass off, but she looks stunning. Lia, well I don’t even know where to start with Lia. She is dressed to the nines in fishnet stockings, knee high boots, a ridiculously short mini skirt and a blue tube top. The short pixie length blond wig completes her costume, but I still don’t get it right away. “What are you supposed to be? A hooker or something?” That’s exactly what she looks like, standing there snapping her gum, hip jutted out to the side.

She jumps up and down and claps her hands. “Yes! You got it! Yeah, I’m Julia Roberts from
Pretty Woman
. I’m a hooker!” I’ve never seen someone so happy to be identified as a prostitute in all my life, but that’s Lia for you.

My phone buzzes in my hand and it’s a text from Bryan. “Come on ladies. Bryan is downstairs. Let’s go.” He offered to be the designated driver for the night, but I think he had ulterior motives. He wanted to win over my friends and my heart softens at the thought that he wants them to like him.

Of course when we get to the parking lot, he’s holding the door open for the girls. They all slide into the backseat saying “Hi” to him as they pass his extended arm. He opens the passenger door for me and closes it after I sit down. When he walks around to his side, Lia wolf whistles at him and we all laugh. Thank goodness she doesn’t have any time to say anything. I can only imagine what would come out of her mouth. I just hope she can behave for the ten-minute drive to the party.

Bryan gets into his seat and pulls the seat belt across his lap. When he places his hand on my knee a tingle travels up my body. He leans in and kisses my cheek and whispers, “You look great.”

Without even waiting for me to respond, he looks over his shoulder into the back seat and chuckles. “Well, this is the first time I’ve had a Goddess, a fairy and a whore in my car at the same time.”

Without missing a beat, Lia chimes in. “I am not a whore.” She clutches her hand playfully to her chest. “I am a classy hooker. Now drive me to my party so I can get my drink on.” She makes a motion with her hand for Bryan to start driving and everyone else breaks out into loud laughter. He looks over at me from his seat and mouths, “Wow,” as he pulls out into traffic.

When we pull up in front of the party, the girls climb out of the car and immediately race up the stairs. Cammie and Maddy go in search of Jack and Reid, and Lia, well, I’m pretty sure Lia is just searching for some booze.

Bryan takes my hand and we walk into the house together. We weave our way through the large crowd. When we get to the living room, we find Maddy, Reid, Cammie and Jack. Everyone smiles at Bryan as he introduces himself to the guys.

“Nice to meet you, man. You want a drink?” Jack asks as he shakes Bryan’s hand.

“No thanks. I’m driving tonight.” He shakes his head and returns his hand to mine.

“Reid, what the hell are you wearing? Maddy said you weren’t dressing up.” I ask as I stifle a laugh.

“What, don’t you think it’s true?” he asks as he looks down at the gift-wrapped box he’s wearing. It has holes cut out of the top for his head and the sides for his arms.

“Well that depends. If you’re going as A Dick in a Box, then hell yeah, you’re spot on.” That comment makes Maddy snort in laughter. He wasn’t exactly nice to her before the two of them started dating. But, since then, he’s been perfect. I can’t deny that I have a huge soft spot for my best friend’s boyfriend. The fact that he takes me out to lunch once a week just to keep on my good side is a nice touch as well.

He laughs at my snippy comment and smirks at me. “Read the tag. You’ll get it,” he says.

I eye the tag that’s folded closed and choke on my laughter when I read,

To: Women

From: God

Jack chimes in through my giggling and eye rolling, “He wears it every fucking year.”

“What? I am.” Reid’s voice is laced with humor. He kisses Maddy sweetly and she rolls her eyes at him.

“You sure are, Reid. But does that mean I get to unwrap you later on?” Maddy’s playful words definitely have an effect on him. It’s cute to see them together. They’ve both been under each other’s skin from that first night they met, and ever since they got together officially, they’ve been the cutest couple ever. There’s just something about them that tells me they’ll make it.

“Come on. Let’s go get you a drink,” Reid says to Maddy as he walks her out of the living room and into the kitchen. Jack and Cammie follow behind them and just as Bryan and I move to follow them, Liam, Bryan’s soccer teammate, walks up behind us and claps Bryan on the shoulder.

“Hey, Bryan. I didn’t know you’d be here tonight,” Liam says as he stands in front of us.

“Hey, Liam. Yeah, my girlfriend, Melanie, is friends with Jack and Cammie,” Bryan explains as he points to Jack as he walks into the kitchen. Liam says hi to me and politely shakes my hand, but there’s something fishy in the way he looks at me.

“I guess it’s not such a small campus, after all, huh. I’m in the Physical Therapy program with Jack,” Liam explains as he lets go of my hand, which I promptly return to Bryan’s.

“I didn’t see you at the party after the soccer game. What happened?” Liam asks as he takes a gulp of his beer.

Bryan laughs a little. “Yeah, well, when I saw you throwing up in a shoe, I figured I missed the party. So Melanie and I left and well … we had our own party.” A heated blush creeps up my neck and across my face.

“Bryan!” I gasp and swat him on the arm.

“What? We did.” He kisses my forehead and wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side.

I roll my eyes, but when he moves his hand from my shoulder to the base of my neck and starts playing with my hair, he’s forgiven.

“I’ll let you guys catch up. I’m going to go find the girls. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” I stretch up in my toes and kiss Bryan on his cheek, but out of the corner of my eye I see Liam give me an ugly stare. I don’t really need to find the girls, but I just want to get away from Liam.

Before finding the rest of the group, I decide to stop in the bathroom and freshen up. Luckily, since it’s still early, there’s no line so I go right in. After I’m done washing my hands and reapplying my lip-gloss, I reach for the door. I nearly stumble through it as it’s pulled open from the other end. Tripping over my own feet, I land into someone in a slutty nurse costume.

Straightening myself, and pulling my face out of her tits, I’m less than pleased to see that I’ve just motor-boated Courtney.

Just my freaking luck!

I adjust my headband of cat ears and move to walk past her without saying a word, because, honestly, she’s the last person on Earth who I want to talk to.

Well, that plan goes to shit, when she grasps my wrist and pulls me into the bathroom with her. For a skinny bitch, she’s pretty strong.

After she slams the door behind her, she eyes me up and down. “What do you want, Courtney?” I practically spit my words at her. I wish I had fewer manners, because spitting in her face actually sounds like a great idea.