Let Me In (18 page)

“Thank you…Calvin. I appreciate your advice,” I say simply. He’s right. My actions will speak for themselves.

Her dad goes through the door and I see Jessa kiss his cheek, whispering something in his ear. He laughs and hugs her before she walks out to me.

“Hey, not too bad, I hope?” she shyly questions.

“No, not bad. Come here,” I instruct and when she gets closer, I tug her to me. “I missed you,” I say, holding her tight.

“You smell like smoke,” she says, but still doesn’t move away.

“Sorry,” I apologize.

“Don’t be. Everyone’s playing cards downstairs. Did you want to play?” she asks.

“Sure, although I would rather be alone with you.” I kiss her forehead, and she tips her head up to look at me.

“I’m going to sneak into your room tonight,” she declares, raising her eyebrows.

“No, you’re not. We’re going to try to be respectful of your parents.”

“You’re going to go a week without touching these?” she asks, picking up my hands and placing them on her breasts. “Or me touching this?” She smirks and puts her hand on my cock. It hardens immediately.

“I didn’t say that, I just said we wouldn’t do it under your parents’ roof,” I say with a grin and she giggles.

“Well, then game on. Let’s see who can find the most hidden places,” she challenges.

“What does the winner get?” I ask.

“Hmm…how about the winner chooses the loser’s tattoo?” I cock my eyebrow. “My dad’s friend owns this great tattoo place.” She raises her eyebrows in question.

“Who’s the judge?” I ask skeptically.

“I think we can be honest with each other. Come on, Grant.” She seems entirely too eager for this bet, but the idea of fucking her all over Breckenridge thrills both me and my cock, so I accept.

“Sure, but baby, be prepared to have some bruises and scratches from the nooks and crannies I find,” I inform her.

“I look forward to it,” she coyly smiles at me.

I lead her into the house and we head downstairs. Her basement has a game room, complete with two poker tables, a bar along the wall, and a black leather sectional with a huge flat-panel TV hanging on the wall. I had no idea Jessa’s parents were so well off, and it adds another worry for me regarding the future. I pray all my hard work at school pays off, so I can give her a life like this.

Dex and Sam sit side by side with Brady and Sadie next to them. It leaves a spot for me and Jessa on the other side, finishing off the circle. Jessa’s mom is sitting on the couch watching television and her dad’s positioned at the dealer spot. He starts dealing the cards out when I look around, noticing someone’s missing.

“Hey, where’s Trey?” I ask.

“Guess?” Brady smirks.

“He works fast,” I remark, grinning.

“Let’s hope not too fast,” Calvin jokes, and the room fills with laughter. He really is a cool guy. I can see where Jessa gets her eccentric personality. I’d be lucky to become part of this family and have him as a father-in-law.

We start playing cards and after a while, Jessa’s mom says goodnight and heads upstairs. The competition picks up around the table and eventually, Brady and Dex start going head to head, while the rest of us sit back, observing the banter. Jessa starts rubbing my leg and I wonder if I’ll be able to hold off until tomorrow. Knowing her though, she might beat me to it. I’m going to have to win this competition or else figure out a way I can get out of the tattoo. Even though I’ve always briefly thought about getting one, the thought of something so permanent scares the shit out of me.

The game finally draws to an end and Dex wins. He jumps up and embraces Sam, and I notice Calvin raise an eyebrow his way. Jessa starts laughing and then yanks on my arm. “Good night, everyone. My boyfriend is going to walk me to my door,” she says, looking at her dad. “And then go to his room,” she finishes.

“Goodnight, Jessa…goodnight, Grant. I would hate to have to kick you out of my house,” he threatens, tilting his head and looking at me seriously.

“Got it!” I tell him as she pulls me upstairs.

The house is dark upstairs, with only a small light streaming in from the family room. We get to her door and I encase her with my arms above her door frame. “How am I supposed to sleep without you?” I ask her.

“You’re the one that’s all, ‘be respectful’,” she mimics me from earlier using air quotes.

“That doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy,” I tell her.

“Show me how hard it’s going to be.” She takes my shirt and pulls me into her.

I let my lips lightly brush against hers. Gradually my tongue licks her bottom lip and she opens, but I don’t insert my tongue. Instead, I take her bottom lip into my mouth and suck it slightly before letting go. My tongue runs along the bottom of her teeth and she brings her tongue to meet mine, teasing it. We explore each other’s mouths and my hands move from her face to her hips as I press myself against her. She bucks toward me and I know if we don’t end it soon, there’ll be no stopping. I pull my lips back, ending the kiss, and Jessa falls back against her door. “Goodnight, baby, I love you,” I whisper.

“I love you, too. Sweet dreams,” she whispers back.

“Always, when they’re about you,” I admit as I walk away, our hands touching until we have no other option than to part.

Jessa

I watch Grant make his way down the hall. Not giving my feet a chance to betray me, I walk into my room. It looks the same as it did when I lived here, except my parents have cleared it out. I imagine my pictures and personal items from school are boxed up somewhere in the attic. As hard as they worked to try to keep my memories at bay, they can’t take away everything. In fact, I’m pretty sure they missed the picture that’s taped under my nightstand drawer, although I’m hopeful they found it.

Picking up my heavy suitcase, I plop it onto the bed. I open the dresser drawers, finding clothes that are more Sadie’s style than mine. Thoughts linger of who I used to be and I find my reflection in the mirror. As I stare back at the platinum blonde with heavy, dark eyeliner and multiple piercings up her ear, it still shocks me how comfortable I am in my skin now.

When my mom pulled me out of Grant’s room this afternoon, I was so angry because she wasn’t going to allow us to sleep together. The one thing that’s been running through my mind all night was when she said, “He’s changed you, Jessa. You are…well…you’re back.” She hugged me so tight, I thought my ribs would crack. “Give this new relationship space, honey. You don’t want what happened with Jason to happen with Grant.”

Thinking about it, I understand her point. Jason and I rushed into our relationship, as though we were the last two people on the planet. Foolishly, I believed him when he said it was love at first sight. He’d made it sound so romantic when telling people how he saw me from across the room and knew instantly that I would be his wife. My old naïve self-believed him, in awe at how much he loved me. I shake my head in regret of how stupid he made me look.

Thinking back, I remember things my friends would say that I always dismissed. “He’s vindictive, Jess,” my roommate Heidi told me once, but I ignored her. I always had an excuse for him and he always made excuses to me. It was always a bad grade, a guy from the fraternity, or someone he worked with. It never occurred to me that it was him. Not until the morning when everything changed, did I realize how manipulative and vicious he could be.

Those memories I can handle now. It still bothers me when I think of how many people saw me having an intimate moment with someone who was supposed to love and protect me, but it’s what I did after that still lingers beneath the surface for me. My skin crawls at the thought that I might not be here right now if it wasn’t for Sam.

Glancing around the room, I notice for the first time that all of my old pictures have been replaced with recent ones of me with my family and new friends.
Walking over to my desk, I find more framed pictures. These have me and Sadie laughing, The Invisibles playing a show, and one of all of us on the porch that Mrs. F had taken a month back. When I sit on the bed, I see one of Grant and me at the cabin. He had used his phone to take the picture of us with the snowcapped trees in the background. The smile on my face and seeing Grant staring down at me with a loving grin across his lips make my insides tingle all over.

I reach over and grab my phone, knowing only one person could be responsible for this.

Me:
You wouldn’t know a little elf, would you?

Grant:
Hehe…I know an elf, but believe me, there’s nothing little about him.

Me:
You’re too sweet to me. Thank you.

Grant:
I’m not sweet enough, but glad you like it. I hope it makes it easier.

Me:
You’d make it easier…please come back down.

Grant:
Baby, we have to respect your parents. It’s only a few nights.

Me:
Why are you being so compliant?

Grant:
Don’t get me wrong. It’s taking everything in me not to crawl in bed with you right now.

Me:
Don’t fight it baby! ;)

Grant:
Sleep tight, beautiful. Dream of me.

Me:
You’re the only one that fills my dream
s
Love you.

Grant:
I love you too!

I place my phone down on the nightstand, next to the picture of Grant and me. Minutes later, a soft knock sounds on my door a second before I see the knob turning. “It’s about time you came to your senses,” I say before I see Sam enter through my doorway.

“I assume you were thinking I was someone else?” She raises her eyebrows, closing the door behind her. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” She walks over to my bed and sits down next to me. “Nice picture,” she remarks, reaching across me to pick it up. “I love him, Jessa. He’s the real deal this time.”

“I know. I love him too, Sam,” I admit and she hugs me tight.

“Good, because you deserve happiness, sister.” She places the picture back down. “Where was that taken?”

“He has a cabin in Pennsylvania. His mom left it for him,” I tell her. She looks surprised, so I explain the story about his mom and how she died. Sam is the most empathetic person I know and I end up having to pass her a few tissues after I grab some for myself.

“That’s really sad. No wonder he’s so guarded,” she adds.

“How do you know?” I ask her, shocked that she picked up on that.

“Okay, well don’t take this wrong because anyone can see how much he loves you, but you can tell he wasn’t lucky to have the family we have. Although he’s open with his affection to you, he’s more closed off with everyone else. For example, when I hug him, he stiffens slightly.” She stands up to walk around the room.

“I guess I never noticed that,” I say. He’s always been more than willing to show me affection, touching me and kissing me almost non-stop. Sometimes he’s so handsy, I have to tell him to calm it down when we’re in public.

She picks up the picture of all of us on the porch. “Who took all these?” she questions and turns around, holding the frame in her hand.

“The non-affectionate male you have been talking about,” I joke, and she starts laughing.

“Really? Maybe I’m wrong about him, or maybe it’s just you that makes that side of him come out.” She brings the photo over to my bed. “Either way, how sweet is this?” she beams over at me.

“I know, right?” A wide smile absorbs my face.

“Alright, enough about you and Mr. Mysterious, let’s talk Dex.” She sits up, crossing her legs on my bed. “Does he have a girlfriend? Is he a womanizer? What do you know about him?” She starts throwing out questions faster than I can answer them.

“Hold on, Sam,” I laugh, raising my palm up in the air. “Okay...he doesn’t have a girlfriend and he isn’t a womanizer, but he isn’t a saint either. He barely brings girls around the house. Usually, he and Trey just go out and don’t come home until morning. Why, do you like him?”

“I don’t know,” she says, turning a nice shade of pink. “It’s fun flirting, but it would just be while he’s here since we live too far apart for anything to get serious.”

“Hmm…” I say, nudging her and she playfully nudges me back.

“Don’t say anything, Jessa,” she requests and I nod my head.

“I would never, Sam. You know that. Just enjoy yourself while he’s here,” I tell her, and she smiles before standing up.

I follow her lead and she gives me a hug before placing her hand on the doorknob. “I really came in here to make sure you’re okay,” she says. I inform her that I’m just fine, especially now that Grant has filled my room with pictures of people that love me.

After I shut the door behind Sam, I go into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Seconds after climbing under my sheets, the urge abruptly hits me. I know this is a bad idea, but part of me feels as though it would give me peace to rip it up. Opening my nightstand drawer and snaking my hand under it, I feel the corner of the photo, secured by tape. Of course my parents wouldn’t have found this.

Staring intently at the picture, I see how my smile has changed since then. It seems forced, and I also notice the way Jason has his arm slung over my shoulder, pulling me into him, as though I’m his possession. Anger fills me as I think about how stupid I was, and I start ripping the picture to shreds. Tossing the last bits of my past into the trashcan by my bed, I take one last look at the photo on my nightstand and turn off my light, knowing that was the end of Jason invading my thoughts. I’ll no longer let him have this hold over me. The image of Grant and me laughing on that deck brings peace over my body, allowing it to succumb to sleep.

Grant

I’m awoken by her screams. Throwing the covers off the bed, I run out of my room and down the hall, busting into her bedroom. I grab her and pull her into my arms. Her sobs are uncontrollable as she pushes back from me but I hold her tighter. She thrashes her body back and forth to get out of my hold, and I see her parents in the doorway, looking on with a mixture of fear and sadness in their eyes. I continue to whisper in her ear, hopeful my voice will calm her. A few minutes later, she relaxes in my arms and I loosen my grip. Her dad starts to step into the room, and I’m not about to stop him. But when Jessa pulls back slightly and places her hands on my cheeks, he retreats back to his wife’s side.

“Grant,” she sighs. I tell her again to calm down and that everything will be okay. She buries her head in my neck. I crawl into bed with her and let her snuggle close to my side, wrapping my arms around her. Her dad gives me a small nod, letting me know that he’s giving me permission to stay with her, and her mom smiles while shutting the door.

“It’s okay, baby,” I say to her, soothingly stroking my hand up and down her back.

“It was horrible,” she stutters, still trying to catch her breath.

“It was just a nightmare, baby, I’m here now,” I tell her, but her breathing is still erratic.

“You left me, Grant. You found out I wasn’t who you thought,” she reveals.

“You never have to worry about that.” I scoot down in the bed, bringing the blankets over us. God, having her next to me feels so right.

When I first went to bed by myself tonight, I tossed and turned, finally putting some music on to help me go to sleep.

Her breathing eventually starts to even out. Thankful, I relax my grip on her, remembering my own nightmares after Lizzy. I know I have to tell Jessa about her, although it seems completely ridiculous at this point. What I had with Lizzy doesn’t compare to what I feel for Jessa. But Jessa deserves to know the truth about what happened that night. It’s the last secret I’ve been keeping from her, and the sooner I tell her, the faster we can move on.

I know, without a doubt, she’s the one for me. I love her with every ounce of my being. Her dad says I brought her back to them, but she ignited something inside of me that was never there. She gave me hope that a life filled with admiration, encouragement, and love for one another can exist, making me crave it.

Her light snores tell me she is finally asleep, so I cuddle her closer to me, hoping to find sleep myself.

Trey is already downstairs by the time I get up, and I briefly wonder if he even slept here last night. Mrs. Harrison is making breakfast and Sam sits on a bar stool, chatting with her mom. I’m in awe of Jessa and Sam’s relationship with their parents. There’s a mutual respect that the whole family has for each other that I’ve never seen before.

“Hey, baby, you ready to be killed on the slopes today,” Jessa teases, smacking my ass on her way into the kitchen.

I quickly grab her hand and pull her back to me. “Not so fast, sweetheart,” I say and kiss her. “Good morning,” I murmur against her lips before releasing her.

“So what’s the plan?” Brady asks, walking into the room. “Just so we’re all aware, Sadie isn’t much of a skier, so she’ll be at the spa most of the day.” He takes his seat next to me at the table.

“Oh…the spa. Count me in,” Sam chimes in and Jessa rolls her eyes. “Join us, Jessa,” she requests.

“No way, I have to annihilate Grant first. Maybe after,” she says and shrugs her shoulders.

“Alright. Jessa, you can ski with Grant this morning and then meet us there afterward,” Mrs. Harrison suggests.

“The spa…” Jessa sighs. I can tell she feels obligated when she sees her mom’s hopeful face. “Fine,” she reluctantly agrees.

“Great, I’ll go make reservations.” Mrs. Harrison puts some food on the table and leaves the room.

Jessa comes to sit on my lap. “Sorry about last night,” she apologizes.

“Don’t be.” I feed her a bite of the eggs from my plate and she moans. “I’m your boyfriend, it’s my job to keep you safe and feeling secure,” I tell her, smiling.

“I guess at least you got to come and sleep in my room,” she jokes, and although I don’t find the humor in it, I chuckle slightly.

After we finish breakfast, we all get our snow gear on and head out in the two rentals cars. Once we get to the ski resort, Sadie, Sam, and Mrs. Harrison leave for the spa, and all the guys and Jessa head over to buy our lift passes. We make our way to the chair lifts and Jessa is all smiles, I assume happy she’s back home on the mountain slopes again.

My eyes keep scanning for places to get her alone, but unless I want to do it on the snow or up against a tree, I’m out of luck. Not to mention, her dad’s with us and there’s no way I want to get caught by him, bet or no bet.