Let Me In (7 page)

“I don’t know. I have so much on my plate,” I admit.

“You get Rob’s share. It’s not a ton of money, but it will probably bring in more than what Barbells pays you.” He nudges me a little more.

“I can’t leave Chuck. He’s invested too much in me,” I say, although, I have to admit it’s tempting.

“You were really good tonight. Did you enjoy yourself?” Jessa asks me.

“I did,” I confirm and close the menu in order to give this conversation my undivided attention.

“It seemed like it,” she says.

“Yeah, you looked hot up there,” Sadie chimes in, and I give her a doubtful look.

“Let’s not get carried away, baby,” Brady tells her, pulling her closer.

“No worries, I only have eyes for one Invisible.” She giggles and kisses his cheek.

“Technically, I’m not an Invisible,” I add.

“It’s up to you, Grant. You’re the best I know, and you already know most of the songs. I know that with a couple practices, you’ll be up to speed. Hell, you helped me write some of the parts,” Brady continues, trying to influence me.

“You should really consider it. I wish I would’ve taken pictures of you up there. It’s the happiest I’ve ever seen you,” Jessa says.

“You’ve only known me a couple months, Jessa.” I lean back, straightening my arms out and pushing against the back of the booth.

“She’s right, Grant, and I’ve known you a little longer,” Sadie adds.

“I’ve known you the longest, and even though we’ve had our differences, I haven’t seen that smile for years,” Brady says. “Come on, man. Just like old times.” He extends his hand out for me to shake on it.

I contemplate the decision. It’ll be tough to add another activity, but they’re right, I had way too much fun out there not to do it. “Alright, I’m in,” I agree and shake Brady’s hand.

“We’re going to have so much fun, man, just wait.” Brady’s ecstatic and it rubs off on me.

Jackie aka “Jacks” comes over to the table and takes our order. Brady orders for both him and Sadie. I order my cheeseburger and fries with a Coke. When it comes around to Jessa, she says, “I’ll have a chocolate sundae with whip cream and extra nuts.” We all bust out laughing.

“What? I like my desserts. I might steal a couple fries though,” she says and chuckles, looking my way. All I can think is that I’m happy to give her more than my fries.

We finish our meals and Brady asks me to come by tomorrow to practice. Since I don’t have to work at Barbells until Monday, I accept. The anxiousness flowing through me at the prospect of playing again both surprises and pleases me at the same time.

Brady and I split the bill and all four of us walk outside. “Do you want me to drive you home?” I whisper to Jessa.

“I would hate for you to go out of your way. I might as well go with them, since we’re going to the same place,” she says, pointing to Sadie and Brady ahead of us.

“Right.” I shove my hands in my pockets and follow them.

“Thanks for the meal. Sorry that I stole more than a couple fries,” she laughs. A couple is an understatement. First she poured vinegar all over them and then doused them with salt. On top of that, she polished off the rest of them. I could care less, but it scares me how natural it felt to put my plate between us and share with her.

“No problem.” I shrug my shoulders, trying to appear indifferent.

“Well, I guess I should get going,” she says as she slowly starts walking backward toward Brady’s car.

“See you, Jessa,” I say.

“Bye, Grant.” She grins at me and turns around to climb into the backseat of Brady’s Camaro.

I get into my truck and drive back to the fraternity house. For the first time in the last hour, I allow myself to think about Lizzy. She and Jessa couldn’t be more different. I wonder if that dagger-tattooed man wouldn’t have ruined us, what our future would have been or if we would have had one at all.

Jessa

I want nothing more than to be in that truck with Grant as I watch him pull out of the parking lot. If I would have had to guess which car was his, it definitely wouldn’t have been the beat-up truck. It doesn’t fit him at all. I saw the embarrassment in his eyes when he opened the door for me to get in. Although the inside is clean and kept up, the outside needs some serious cosmetic work. The funny thing is, seeing he isn’t completely perfect only makes me want him more.

As I watch Brady extend his hand over the center console and place it in Sadie’s, a pang of jealousy hits me. I so desperately want that. If I’m being honest, my relationship with Rob was just a distraction from what I really crave. He wasn’t the best for me, and that’s why it’s probably better he never met my dad. I imagine my dad might have kicked him out of the house.

And although I have no proof, I sometimes wonder if he strayed. The fact that I never truly cared to find out should’ve told me something. Bottom line though is that Rob isn’t what I want for my future; he was just a stepping stone on my road to reinvention.

We pull up to the house and I’m back to wishing Grant was dropping me off. I think about the possibility that he would’ve kissed me. But then his words ring in my head, and I know I have to be done with Rob before I go to him.

All three of us walk in the back door just as some blonde is leaving. She doesn’t seem happy, and I only need one guess as to where she came from.

“Hey, date over so soon?” I kid Trey, who’s sitting at the table eating a sandwich and drinking a beer.

“They’re not dates, Jdoll,” he smiles up to me.

“Do you think you’ll ever just pick one?” Sadie asks, grabbing a water bottle and taking a seat at the table.

“Why? I don’t want any drama in my life. Just look at you guys,” he says, pointing the tip of his beer bottle at each of us.

“Hey, I don’t have any drama,” I tell him, and all three of them smirk over at me.

“Are you kidding? By the way, have you talked to Rob yet?” he sarcastically asks.

“He only left a few hours ago,” I counter.

“No texts?” Trey challenges, and I know where he’s going with this. He’s not exactly Rob’s number one fan.

“Cut it out, Trey,” I say, sitting down at the table and taking a swig of his beer.

“I’m just saying, Jessa,” he starts to say, putting his hand on my forearm while his eyes stare directly into me. “If you were mine, I would’ve already called and texted you, making sure you knew how badly I missed you.”

The pained expression on his face tells me he pities me for staying with Rob. Nothing pisses me off more than pity. That was one reason why I left Boulder. I wasn’t about to walk around that campus with people either calling me a whore or giving me sympathetic looks. Both were equally upsetting in my book.

“Says the guy who has a revolving bedroom door. You can’t even pick someone,” I argue, standing back up from the table.

“There’s a difference. I don’t pretend, Jessa. Rob’s your boyfriend, not a one-time fuck,” he says as I start to walk down the hall, completely done with the conversation.

“Trey…” I hear Sadie chide. A second later, I hear a chair skidding across the floor before she’s right behind me.

She follows me up the stairs. I know Trey’s right, but what he said still hurts. Apparently I was the last to notice what everyone around me already saw.

“Jessa, it might not seem like it, but Trey’s on your side,” Sadie says, following me into my bedroom.

“I know it’s the truth, but it doesn’t stop from hurting to know you were being used,” I tell her. She knows my whole sordid story and why I escaped Colorado to come here.

“He just wasn’t the right one.” She sits next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders.

“How come I never pick the good ones?” I ask her, completely full of self-doubt.

“Maybe you’re not looking in the right places.” She bites her lip, peeking through her eyelashes at me. I’m not completely oblivious to the fact that Sadie wants me with Grant.

“I don’t even know if he’d want me, Sadie.” I place my head on her shoulder, and she pulls me a little closer.

“Believe me, that boy wants you. He’s just waiting on you.” Picking up my head, I see the wide grin across her face.

“Did he say something?” The hope in my voice scares me. There’s no way I can have my heart broken again. I want someone who’ll put me as a priority in their life and make me number one. With all of Grant’s aspirations and dreams, I doubt he’d be willing to do that.

“No, but his attraction to you is unmistakable. Remember when you told me to put myself out there for Brady?” I nod my head. “It’s time for you to do the same. Forget all that shit and live. If you’re heart gets broken, you’ll eventually heal. Look what you’ve already overcome. And I know you don’t have to worry about anything like that happening with Grant. He’s a good guy, Jessa. Give him a chance,” she declares. I desperately want to take her advice.

After a few other encouraging words, Sadie eventually leaves the room. I can’t help but be envious of what she and Brady have. I flop onto my bed, fiddling with my phone. My finger hovers over Rob’s name and I wonder if I should just end it between us now. Regardless of my feelings toward Grant, I shouldn’t continue my relationship with Rob. Before I obsess over it for too long, I press call. It rings a few times and then goes to voicemail. Just as I’m about to leave a message for him to call me back, my phone vibrates and I see his name on my screen.

“Hey,” I answer.

“Who’s this?” I can barely hear the girl’s voice above all the loud chatter in the background.

“Is Rob there?” I ask, shocked that someone else is calling me from his phone.

“Who’s that? I just found this phone in my room and it started ringing.” I hear a muffled sound and it’s obvious she’s talking with someone else.

“He has black spiky hair, tattoos, and blue eyes,” I say, thinking I should just hang up.

“Sorry girly, that explains a lot of the guys around here. Hold up a second though.” She screams in the background to someone else and soon Rob’s voice comes across the phone.

“What’s up?” His breath sounds staggered and uneven as though he just ran a marathon.

“Rob?” My voice starts to waver, insecurity filling my head with thoughts of the worst possible scenarios.

“Hey, babe!” he shouts into the receiver and then I hear his muffled voice talking to someone else, as well as the distinct sound of kissing. “I was just about to call you.”

“Really?” I question, unconvinced.

“Of course. We just got to our first stop and we’re at the hotel. Can you believe I have to share a room?” His words slur due to how much he’s either drank, smoked, or snorted. Could easily be a combination of all three, knowing him.

“Listen, Rob, I wish you good luck with the tour but I think…” Just as I’m about to end our relationship, I hear a girl’s voice whisper,
“Hang up the phone and fuck me.”

Shock hits me
and I’m speechless. A part of me always thought Rob enjoyed himself outside of our relationship, but to actually have it confirmed smacks me hard. Slurping sounds of saliva and moans of enjoyment come over the receiver and I am torn on what to do. Does Rob even remember he was talking to me? Just as I’m about to hang up, his voice comes back on. “What were you saying, babe?” he asks, clearly distracted by the girl he’s with.

“It’s over, Rob. Have fun with that girl that’s probably sucking your dick right now. We’re through.” I press end firmly with my finger. “That son of a bitch,” I mumble to myself.

Annoyed, I make my way downstairs to grab a beer or maybe something stronger. Trey is sitting in the family room, flipping through the channels. I’m still mad at him so I pass right by and stomp into the kitchen. Grabbing the Jack Daniels bottle on top of the refrigerator, I notice that Trey is now standing in the doorway. His colorful arms are stretched from the top of the doorframe, leaning into the room. I never found plugs appealing, but on Trey, they make him sinfully sexy. Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve gone for him instead of Rob, but then I remember that Trey is only in it for one thing.

He bites his lower lip, obviously hesitating to talk to me. Before he has a chance, I say, “Please tell me I haven’t been walking around like some fucking idiot all these months?” He walks over and reaches above me, opening the cabinet. Bringing two shot glasses down, he places them in front of me.

“No, Jessa, you were falling in love. It just sucks that your prince was an asshole.” The sorrowful look across his face is filled with sympathy that I just found out my boyfriend is a cheating bastard. He gingerly takes the bottle from my hands and pours us two shots. After handing me one, he picks up his.

“To the asshole getting out of your life. It is over, right?” he asks and I nod. “Thank God.” He clicks his glass with mine and we down the shots. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, not much to say,” I admit. How many times can we go over the fact that my boyfriend is a cheating, lying jackass that most likely never even gave a shit about me?

“Okay, one more,” he says, filling the glasses with the dark liquid. When we have them raised in our hands, he says, “To new boyfriends.” He winks and clinks my glass again.