Let's Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies (48 page)

It seemed whenever Lexa was breaking up with another rock scoundrel, Manson was there. "I didn't know if he thought I was just a weird acid freak, but in Houston he said, `I want you to come to the hotel tonight. We're having a little party.' Five times he said, `Promise me you'll be there.' Even though their time together was usually brief, Manson always went out of his way to make Lexa feel included. One strange night, she was among a cadre of girls ushered into his inner sanctum. "Manson was at the height of his fame, his album was number one, and there was a lot of security because he got death threats. It was surreal, like going to see the president. We were shuffled into this hotel suite, and it was the most bizarre scene I've ever witnessed. Twiggy Ramirez was sitting in the corner drooling on himself, the keyboard player was rocking back and forth, and the other guitar player was hitting on this skanky groupie who had told me earlier how she fucked their drummer, and now she was gonna fuck the guitar player. There was so much going through my head: the insecurity about things I'd said to Manson years before, the guards in the room watching us like Secret Service men. I wondered, `Is Manson trying to sleep with me? What the hell is this shit?' I watched movies with him all night, but could barely speak. He didn't either. Finally I asked, `How're you doin'?' He didn't answer me verbally, but I could hear him telepathically. He just nodded, and I said, `Another day, huh?' There was this in-another-dimension glowing energy; too much for me to handle. I wondered, `Is he fucking with my head or does he wanna hang out with me? Does he want me to make a move?' But I certainly wasn't going to touch him! Maybe if he'd acted like other rock stars I'd hung out with, being a jackass, hyper and funny, it would have been easier to make a move. But he's so quiet and introspective, I was completely freaked out."

But Lexa wanted Manson to make a move, didn't she? "Not on that tour. I was still nervous with him, but I did start falling in love. I didn't know if he liked me that way, or if he was being fatherly. He had one of those cult followings and thought of his fans as his children. He forbade the roadies from talking to me because he saw me as his child or because he was jealous. I don't know which. He treated me like a lady and not like a whore. He has my loyalty for life, because most guys, including my father, have never cared for me like that. Most big rock stars hang out and have fun, but want to have sex as quickly as possible. And here was this guy who spent the night with me and didn't even touch me."

An encounter with Manson's guitarist, John 5, left Lexa perplexed. After a gig, John whispered in her ear. "He said, `Let's you and me hang out when Manson leaves.' I was thinking, `Why after Manson leaves?' I walked John to his car and suddenly he grabbed my hand and put it down his pants, and I thought, `Whoa. You know the rules with me. Ooh, big cock, too! This is scandalous.' So I pulled away. I thought he was cute, but I had too much respect for Manson to go there. He saw me as innocent, even though I wasn't, and I didn't want him to see me as a slut. We had always been platonic, but I felt very loyal. That whole camp is so strange-for all I knew, it was some sort of test."

Despite all the drama, Lexa and Marilyn Manson have spent some rare quality time together through the years. "Once we were all fucked up at his house, and he took out his camera and got intricately involved with photography. He did a photo shoot of me wearing his underwear in the pool and filmed it, too. I believe I truly am a muse to him. He uses me as inspiration in his work, and that's much more than sex. Sex would be great too, and I'd love to be with him, but sex comes and goes and loses its passion. Art is immortal."

What is it about Manson's music that has kept her fascinated for so long? "Manson gives a lot of hints in his songs. If you follow along and research each subject, you'll get an education. It's all there: philosophies, religions, magic, political history, lies in the media, conspiracy theories. After a while you figure out the fabric of the matrix we live in. He was following me following him, taking notes on my progress figuring him out. When I'd figured out enough, he gave me the wink-wink handshake, and the door to the chocolate factory opened. That was my goal: I wanted to crack the mystery."

Perhaps the reason Manson and Lexa have been friends for so long is because they haven't slept together. "That's what his take is. We agree there is an attraction, but why ruin a perfectly good relationship? I'm a permanent fixture even though it's tortuous. I'd give up every man in the world for him. I've had sex with a handful of rock stars, and nobody has ever touched me the way he does. It's difficult for anyone to get in my pants now. I'm hard to impress after being intimate with Manson on a psychological level. I wind up comparing them to him."

At least her passion for Manson hasn't stopped Lexa from giving rock romance a chance. "Ben Graves from the Murderdolls was interested in me, but he was intimidating, and had overpowering energy. I'm 5'2" and he stands 6'6". We got hot and heavy one night, and I backed out from going all the way because I was dating the keyboard player for London After Midnight and didn't want to fully cheat on him. Ben had some of the best pickup lines ever. When I asked, `Why me?' in a dark and dramatic, perfectly scripted way, he said, `Because I like to exist somewhere between a dream and reality, and you seem like someone I could do that with.' Just the way he said things got your juices running. One night at this Goth fetish club, Bar Sinister, he introduced me to his new band member, Joey Jordison, who was also the drummer in Slipknot. I didn't realize that because they wear masks on stage, but he let me know right away. There were a million girls, but he took to me from the get-go. He said, `I've got cocaine back at the hotel, why don't you come up?' At the time I was doing a lot of coke and was initially more interested in the coke than in Joey." Joey soon began begging Lexa to be his girlfriend. "He came across very genuine. I wasn't super-smitten, but I was single and thought I'd give him a chance. I soon discovered he liked me to talk dirty. I'd worked at a phone sex office and had my routine down. He was eating it up, my scenarios were getting weirder and kinkier, and I wondered how far I could push the limits. I finally told him, `What I really want is to put you in a dress, smear red lipstick all over your mouth, and bend you over like the bitch you are.' I expected him to say `Dude, that's not cool,' but his response was `I have a dress.' I love any kind of fantasy play, and my ears perked up. He told me to close my eyes, and he transformed into a cute girl. I liked seeing this heavy metal drummer, who hit the shit so hard, jump into bed in a little black minidress."

When Lexa showed up at a Murderdolls gig in San Diego, Joey sang a different off-key tune. It turned out he had girls in various cities and wanted Lexa to be his L.A. woman. "When he told me, I was tripping on mushrooms and thought, `This sucks in a million different ways.' I tried to maintain coolness while frying, but inside I was humiliated. I can deal with any situation as long as you're honest about it." Her pal Ben Graves commiserated, and they wound up all lovey-dovey again. "I was tripping, so everything clicked into place, and I realized I was chasing after an asshole who lied to me, meanwhile my true friend Ben was telling me he loved me."

Lexa says she "melted" and when Ben got home from tour they began sleeping together. But when Joey found out, he coaxed Lexa away. "He found me with Ben and out came the amazing apology. Here was this big rock star, and I'd rather be with his `hired help' as he referred to Ben." Lexa relented and went back to Joey, but it was a disaster. "It was all about his ego. I stupidly gave Joey another chance, which was the worst mistake. I was only with him a couple nights. I still feel horribly guilty about it. I think I was actually in love with Ben but was on drugs and didn't know how to handle the situation. He took me back but was bitter from then on. I tried to repent, but Ben was also aware of my situation with Manson and that made him not want to take the relationship further."

Not long ago, Lexa had a fling with Monster Magnet's androgynous guitarist, Ed Mundell. "I was Ed's L.A. girlfriend. When he was here he didn't see anyone else. I really like the experience of being with a guy in drag. Ed loved me to dress him up like a girl and take pictures. He couldn't get enough. He said, `Oh, I look just like Gwyneth Paltrow.' Putting makeup on guys is foreplay for me. There's something about a cock underneath a dress. Ed and I genuinely liked each other. He told me there was a part of him he shared with me that he didn't share with anyone else in the world." Lexa sighs, "But it's hard for me to date anybody because I wind up comparing them to Manson. I don't think I'll fall in love with anyone unless they're on that same level. His shoes are really hard to fill."

There has been so much speculation about Manson's eccentricity. Does Lexa feel it's warranted? "He's not your average, normal person, but we don't sacrifice goats or anything. He's a character, an artist, but he's no weirder than I am. We all love those androgynous rocker boys, but if they don't have the art to back it up, it doesn't mean anything. I'm very flattered and honored that he lets me in on his projects, his ambitions, what he's pursuing in the future. It's like being the chosen fan, the one inside, knowing all the secrets, seeing everything before it happens. If you're a halfway decent girl, anybody wants to fuck you, it's not that hard to accomplish. [Manson] trusts me and respects my opinion, and that's a lot more flattering than just fucking. It's weird because I was so attracted to rock stars, even as a small child. I suffered through so much trauma and kept myself alive by fixating on this mythical rock star who would one day reach out and bring me through the TV screen into his imaginary rock star world. And the most ironic thing is ... Manson did just that!"

For an entire decade, Lexa has had sporadic encounters with Marilyn Manson and his crew while having romantic relationships and creating an entertaining life for herself. As we await the rest of the Plastics, Lexa says matter-of-factly, "I didn't see him for a while, and during that time he met Dita Von Teese. I got engaged to a singer from a band called Fetish, and shortly after I got engaged, he got engaged to her. I was only engaged for a year, then we broke up. Manson got married."

The doorbell chimes and the rest of Lexa's decked-out team arrives in high spirits. Sandra has on a Pink Floyd baby-T and Gothic platform sandals. Staci wears a strategically torn tank top with multireams of necklaces and scarves, while Jenni is head-to-toe in shiny black vinyl, tattered fishnets, and giant knee-high Demonia boots from last night's revelry. We quickly get into a rollicking chatterfest about the extreme highs and lows of groupiedom.

It all begins with Faster Pussycat's ubiquitous Taime Downe. What a surprise.

Pamela: C'mon, which one of you hooked up with Taime?

Staci: I was out in Hollywood one night and he was calling my phone, "Hey, you wanna come over and check out my place?"

Lexa: You wanna come over and sit on my face? I mean check out my place?

Staci: So I go his house, we hook up for a good two minutes, then he just watches TV. I'm like, "I can't deal with this, I'm going to sleep!" Taime has done way too much cocaine and has a difficult time getting an erection.

Lexa: I don't think he'll verify that.

Staci: I was expecting us to have sex, but it was just me going down on him and him going down on me and that was it. And it only lasts about two minutes until he comes.

Pamela: Well, someone like Taime who's probably had sex with five thousand women ... I'm surprised he still wants to do it.

Sandra: He's a horn dog! I've kissed him a couple of times. He's actually a good kisser, big lips.

Staci: He's a good kisser but with all the cocaine he's done, his penis isn't very big.

Lexa: I heard it used to be.

Pamela: What? Cocaine can change penis size?

Lexa: Oh, yeah ... I've seen it happen to people.

Pamela: Have you been with any of those big-hair guys?

Staci: Steve Summers from Pretty Boy Floyd. He was playing with Dokken, and after the show he grabbed me by the arm, dragged me backstage, locked the door, and said, `I just love your tits. They're so big I want to come on them.' I'm like, 'OK.' And he starts jacking off, staring at my boobs. It was pretty hot.