Letting Go of You (Anchored Hearts #2) (23 page)

~<>~<>~<>~

The next couple of weeks passed with no interaction between him and me.  I think I was in shock about it all.  I still had someone following me at all times, usually Ryan, but my relationship with James seemed nonexistent.  Paul had reached out to me and we’d had lunch several times.  On that Friday I was actually headed to a concert with Cal and Jane and Paul.  Jane had gotten Cal the tickets at Christmas.  While I didn’t want it to be uncomfortable, Paul knew it was strictly platonic, but I needed a night out with friends.

I heard him knock on the door and ran down the stairs to answer it.  He was all decked out.  Cowboy hat, too tight jeans, and cowboy boots. 

“Damn, girl.” 

Giving him an exaggerated curtsy I responded in my best southern accent, “Why thank you kind sir.”  I too was wearing some cowboy boots, a skirt that hit me just below my knees and a cute top that just barely exposed my mid-drift. 

We walked outside to Paul’s SUV to make the drive to Cal and Jane’s.  “So.  How’s it going?  Have you heard from him yet?” 

Shaking my head, I asked, “How is he?”

“What the fuck is wrong with him?”  He sighed, and looked to me and apologized.

“Don’t apologize.  Your guess is as good as mine.  Is he still drinking?”

“Not that I can tell.  I know Melissa was released from the hospital over a week ago.  They still haven’t found Dan or ID’d the other guy in the video.”  I couldn’t help but wonder if Melissa was keeping his bed warm since I knew it wasn’t me.  “Cass, I know it’s not my place, but do you want to remain married?  I’m not a fan of divorce, but I know that it’s unavoidable sometimes.” 

We had pulled up to Cal and Jane’s a
s he kept talking.  “He’s ruining the best thing that’s ever going to happen to him.”

“I love him Paul.  God help me.  If he came crawling back I’d welcome him with open arms.”

“Have you tried talking to him?”

“I’ve sent text messages, but he never responds.”  I spotted Cal and Jane walking out the door.  “Can we drop it for now?  I want to have fun and Cal and Jane don’t need to be in the middle of this mess.”

“Sure thing sweets.”

We were walking to our seats when Jane pulled out VIP passes.  She just winked and said, “It’s good to know people!” 

It was a great show and we were side stage for the whole thing.  Nothing against Paul, he was damn hot, but I was aching for James.  There was a slow song playing and my mind was drifting as I watched Cal and Jane slow dance to the song. 

Like he sensed my sadness, Paul wrapped his arms around my shoulders and whispered in my ear.  “It’s going to be okay.”  I smiled and leaned back against him.  Cal looked back and gave us a disapproving stare that I tried to ignore.  I wasn’t doing anything wrong and he didn’t know it
all
.

When we finally left, after meeting the bands, the parking lot was practically barren.  I was walking with Jane when I heard things getting heated between Cal and Paul.

“She’s married.  You need to back off.”

“Well maybe someone should remind James of that.”  We were standing in a small circle as Jane looked to me confused.  “I’m sorry Cassidy, but they need to know how he’s treating you.”

I looked to my brother, Jane and Paul and wanted to tell them, but I couldn’t do it.  I was mortified.  Instead of speaking up, I turned tail and continued walking toward Paul’s SUV.

“Cass, wait.”  Cal caught up to me and we were out of range of Paul and Jane.  “What’s going on?  Did something happen?”

“That’s just it.  Nothing’s happened.  I haven’t seen him since Eva’s funeral.  And the day she died he moved out, I think.”

“What?”  He was infuriated.

“I’ll handle it Cal.  I need to confront him and I will.”

“I’ll kill him.”

Jane came walking over, “Kill who?”

“You’re fucking cousin has walked out on my sister!”

“What are you talking about?  Cassidy, why didn’t you tell me?” 

It
was true that I had plenty of chances to tell Jane.  We’d gone dress shopping twice since Eva’s funeral.  I had every opportunity to tell her.  But what would I have said?  She would have just told me to hang on, that he was pushing me away, and that I should push back.

Before I could reply Cal shouted, “Let’s go.  When I get my hands on him.”

I mouthed, ‘I’m sorry’ to Jane and she gave me half a smile, following after Cal.

“I’m sorry, Cass.  I just can’t stand to watch you suffer.”

“It’s okay.  Do you think you can drop me off first?  I just want to go to home.”

Cal walked me inside and hugged me.  “He’s going to make this right.  I’ll make sure of it.  You know you can come stay with Jane and
me if you don’t want to be alone.  You can bring the cat.”

I snickered, “Um, no thanks.  I don’t need you two reminding me at every turn what I’ve lost.”

“Cass…”

“Go.  Your fiancé is waiting for you.”

Thirty minutes later the doorbell rang.  I was already in sweats and a t-shirt of his.  Checking the peephole I spotted him and burst into tears.  He was too good to me.  Opening the door, not hiding my face from him, he opened his arms wide and hugged me tight.

“I come bearing gifts.  Chocolate, beer, and chips.”  He smiled that cheeky grin at me.

“Paul, you’re amazing.  What would I do without you?”

C
hapter
23
~
W
reck

~ JAMES ~

Those couple of weeks without her almost killed me.  I drowned myself in work and alcohol.  If I wasn’t at the office, I was at the hotel getting drunk and if I wasn’t thinking about mom, I was thinking about Cassidy.  Paul had kept his distance and we didn’t discuss anything but work.  Smith was continually shaking his head at me.  Melissa, I avoided her, which was difficult.  When she was released from the hospital I put her up at the hotel and had hired a bodyguard to look over her.  Dan wouldn’t give up so easy.

Now, I was sitting out front of her place, our place.  Paul’s SUV sat in the driveway.  Deciding not to drink that day was the biggest mistake of my day.  It was late and the lights were off.  I wanted her to move on and clearly she had.  I drove away.

~<>~<>~<>~

The next night I ended up at the club.  I was hanging out in the VIP section up top when I spotted her.  I had to do a double take.  What was she doing?  It l
ooked like she was with Delaney.  This was
my
turf and they both knew that.  They were dancing in the throngs of people when I decided to make my way down.  Of course I didn’t know what I would say to her.

I made it to the main floor as an upbeat song was ending and a slow one began.  She was dancing with Delaney
and I didn’t recognize the song.  Soon Roxy and Misty joined them.  Every guy, and some girls, in the place was staring at them, including me, with raging hard-on’s there was no doubt.  The girls were eating it up.  Fondling each other without being graphic and grinding to the beat.  I didn’t realize she could move like that.  Had she been here recently without me?  When the song was almost over, she spotted me and stopped for just a moment.  She pushed the envelope and pulled Roxy back against her, her ass grinding against Cassidy’s hips. 

Then
Skin
by Rihanna
began.  She just stared at me.  Fucking me with those eyes of her
s and daring me to come closer as she moved against Roxy.  She was playing with fire, Roxy included.  Then she did what I never expected her to do.  She started making out with Roxy.  Without thinking I marched over and pulled her off Roxy and yanked her hard against me.

She smiled serenely up at me, making me even angrier.  “You’re mine, Cassidy.”

“Prove it.” 

My arms dropped their hold on her, shocked at how
shameless she was being.  She marched back over to where Roxy and Misty waited for her.  Delaney had disappeared, probably to the bar for more drinks.  Without thinking I followed her and put her over my shoulder and walked to the door leading downstairs.  We were granted access once they confirmed with Cassidy that she was consenting.

With her still over my shoulder, I found an empty spanking bench and laid her over it.  If she was aware of the onlookers she didn’t let on.  Normally, I wouldn’t share any aspect of us for the public eyes that roamed down there, but I didn’t care anymore. 

She was wearing those hot pants I loved and I yanked them down, exposing her.  She wasn’t wearing panties.  My hands caressed her ass before I leaned over her and asked her, “You remember your safe word.”

“I won’t need it.
  Do your worst.”

“Fuck.”

I grabbed a paddle and began spanking her harder than I ever had before.  Half way through, one of the other men came over and I stopped him, knowing what he was going to ask.

“Her mouth is mine too.”  He nodded and stood back to watch.

She was oblivious to what was just asked of her and me.  Her body was completely lax against the bench and I could see she was dripping wet for me.  I struck her with the paddle one last time before freeing my cock and plunging into her. Holding her hip with one hand and pulling back on her hair with the other, she moaned deeply.

“Sweet Jesus I’ve missed this pussy.”  She clenched around me as I said it.  “Don’t come or you’ll regret it.” 

When I finished, I cleaned us up, pulled her shorts back up and walked us out of there.  Once we were alone she pulled her arm from me and shoved me away from her. 

“
That was your plan?  To fuck me and leave me hanging?”

I knew she’d be upset about not getting her orgasm, but I didn’t expect her to lash out at me.  Okay, maybe that was a lie. 

“You’re mine and what you did upstairs was uncalled for.”

She let out a scream of frustration.  “There’s no fucking ring on this finger and that piece of paper we signed is a joke.  You want the title but you don’t want the job.  Well, FUCK YOU.  I don’t need you and I don’t need your bullshit
rules
.  You’re the worst Dom ever and don’t get me started on your title of husband.”  She turned and walked down the hall. 

Looking at my watch I bellowed, “I’ll be
there at eleven p.m.  You won’t be disappointed.” 

She turned long enough to flip me the bird.  God, I’d missed her, my fiery redhead. 

When I stopped by at eleven p.m. like I promised, she wasn’t there.  I texted her and she called me back.  She was still at the club, I could hear the music in the background.

“If you really want to please me, you’ll wait for
me
to get home.”  The call disconnected.

She was playing hardball and I liked it.

~ CASSIDY ~

When I woke
the next morning I headed downstairs to find Paul was still sleeping on the couch.  I poured myself a bowl of cereal, trying not to wake him, but it didn’t work.  He wasn’t wearing a shirt and I tried averting my eyes.  He had more ink than he did all those years again, almost his entire torso was covered.

“Morning.”

I mumbled ‘morning’ back through my mouth full of cereal.  I offered him up a bowl and he accepted.  We ate our cereal in silence. 

“When did I pass out on you?”

“Around one a.m. or so.  No biggie.  The movie was over so I just left you and crashed out myself.”

“Any plans for today?”  His question seemed innocent, but I
knew I couldn’t and shouldn’t spend the day with him.  I needed time with some girlfriends.  Delaney had offered to take me out earlier in the week and it sounded like a fabulous plan.

“Girl plans.  You?”

“Not much.  Plenty of work I can do to occupy my time.”

After breakfast he put his shirt back on and then his shoes and headed out the door.  I thanked him for being a friend when I needed it most.  “Thank you, Paul.  It means a lot.”

“I just hate seeing you treated this way.  I know he’s going through a lot, but, well, it’s just not right.  I hope he figures it out.”

“Me too.”

I spent some time cleaning and getting caught up on paying my bills and doing laundry.  I had texted Delaney shortly after Paul left and finally got a reply around lunch time.

Would love to go out!

Pick you up at 8!

Club ok?

The club?  I debated for a minute and responded that the club was fine.  It was a free country and last I checked it wasn’t a crime to go out dancin
g with friends.  I needed a good time, desperately.  When she picked me up she looked me up and down.

“Damn girl.  Are you expecting James to show up?”  She was referring to my hot pants, boots, and tight top.  I’d skipped the fishnets.  “He’s going to go ballistic.”

“Not expecting him.  Expecting
you
to cheer me up.”

“I like you more and more every time I see you.  Time for a
lil revenge, huh?”

“Eh, not revenge so much.  Maybe a little wake up call to what’s his, if he still wants it.”

“Cassidy, he wants it.  He’s just fucked in the head.  Mission Cassidy Jailbreak is underway.”

We drove to the club in her sports car and she promised to be the DD.  On the way there Smith called her and told her to have some fun and that he’d pick us up if need be. 

Like she could sense my nerves escalating she said, “He won’t tell James.  He’s pissed at him right now too.  Let’s just go have some fun.”  I nodded my head as she drove into downtown.

We’d been at the club for about thirty minutes when we finished a round of drinks and she pulled me to the floor.  A couple songs later, she grabbed another round of shots.  I glanced Misty and Roxy walking my way.  I couldn’t remember who was who, and didn’t really care.

“All alone little one?”  One of them asked, I think it was Roxy.

I smiled, “No, I’m here with Delaney.”

“We’re surprised he let you come here without him.”

“I’m a big girl.  I can go out when I want.”  That elicited a smile from both of them.  Delaney came bouncing back across the floor then with shots for her and me.

“Drink up Cass!”

I slammed it down before we went back on the floor.  I was turning into a sweaty mess, but I was having a blast.  The music had slowed down, but I was completely comfortable with Delaney, knowing I was safe with her.  Roxy and Misty joined us and I didn’t really care anymore.  When I least expected it, I spotted him out of the corner of my eye.

It felt like time froze and when I felt Roxy slide up against me I remembered what I was there for.  FUN! 
Skin
by Rihanna
was playing and I just stared at him and moved with Roxy to the beat and like an idiot thought, ‘I’ll show him’.  When Roxy turned to face me I pulled her to me and kissed her.  I’d never kissed a girl before and was surprised how nice it was.  I probably enjoyed it a little too much.

Before I was ready to end the kiss, he yanked me against him growling out, “You’re mine, Cassidy!”

What was he going to do?  Bend me over and fuck me in front of everyone to prove it.  “Prove it!” 

Instead he just let go of me, looking utterly confused.  If he didn’t want me, I knew someone else would.  I turned and walked back to Delaney who was gone, but Roxy and Misty were there.  We started dancing again and just as quickly I was picked up and heaved over his shoulder.

He marched with me like that across the floor, to the lobby and to the door leading downstairs.  ‘YES!’  I wondered if he wanted me as much as I did him.  Once we were downstairs, the girl working the desk asked me if I was indeed consenting.  I flashed her a big smile and gave her a thumbs up.  But, he didn’t take me down the hall to the private rooms.  He headed straight for the open play rooms and hurled me over a spanking bench.  SHIT!  I was terrified and beyond excited all at once.

I didn’t believe for one minute he’d truly do anything to me in front of everyone.  I was wrong.  He tugged my shorts down and rubbed his hands all over my trembling flesh, turning me on more. 

I felt his breath near my ear as he whispered, “You remember your safe word.”

“I won’t need it.  Do your worst.”
  I had lost my damn mind.  He wanted to make a point, well I could do that too.  Let’s see if his nickname ‘Beast’ was a true representation.

“Fuck.”
  He didn’t expect my answer and I smiled, though he didn’t know that.

The blow that fell upon my flesh was by far the hardest he’d ever administered.  ‘RAINBOW’.  But I bit my tongue, unwilling to cave to him.  I focused on my breathing like he’d taught me and forced myself to relax.  I thought I heard him say something, but I didn’t hear him and when he didn’t repeat it I assumed he was talking to someone else.  I could feel that my body was ready for him, more than ready.  It was ready before he got me down there.

He gripped my hip, grabbed my hair, and thrust into me.  Fucking hell.  I knew that I moaned loudly, unable to stop it.  I couldn’t believe it.  He was doing it.  He had spanked me and then fucked me, in front of everyone.

“Sweet Jesus I’ve missed this pussy.” 
I squeezed my walls around him, his thrusting easily working me over.  “Don’t come or you’ll regret it.”

His words totally threw me off.  If I
had wanted to come, I then knew I wouldn’t be able to.  Why couldn’t I come?  Fucking Beast.  Was that what he was known for?  I hated him in that moment.

I felt his release before he pulled out of me and then wiped me clean.  I was in a daze as he yanked my short
s up and escorted me out of there, oblivious to the onlookers.  When we were alone, I viciously tugged free of him and pushed him away from me. 

“
That was your plan?  To fuck me and leave me hanging?”

“You’re mine and what you did upstairs was uncalled for.”

ASSHOLE!  I screamed at the top of my lungs.  No mention of the things he’d done that were uncalled for. 

“There’s no fucking ring on this finger and that piece of paper we signed is a joke.  You want the title but you don’t want the job.  Well, FUCK YOU.  I don’t need you and I don’t need your bullshit
rules
.  You’re the worst Dom ever and don’t get me started on your title of husband.”