Liberty Begins (The Liberty Series) (27 page)

But then what?
I thought.
If
I
let
myself
just
come
back,
what was I going to do here? I was a stripper. I came from nothing. I had no place in this world. Even if I did, I would have to make John reconsider his day job. I couldn’t live on the verge of a heart attack every day.

There was only one way I was ever coming back here, I knew. The thought of what I had to do sent shivers down my spine.

Later,
I thought,
think about it later.

I sighed, wiping the tears off my face and squaring my shoulders.
The bus. I had to get back on the bus.
We were taking it to Providence, and getting on a flight there. We had a few stops and then we’d be in Eugene.

I didn’t know what we’d find there.

John and I did our best to act professionally on the bus and on the plane, i.e. we did not kiss, hold hands, or grope each other. We did, however, sit next to each other. I found myself holding my breath a lot; if I could smell him, my mouth would start watering, and then all hell would break loose.

It was after one a.m. when we arrived at EUG. I had been too wired to sleep, but now I was exhausted from the long flight. “We’ll take a cab to the place we’ve rented,” John said, gently patting my shoulder. “We’re almost there, now. You can get some sleep soon.”

Less than ten of us had flown out; Matthew, Sean, Corey and Ethan, along with Michael, the medic, and some guys that John said were observation specialists that I hadn’t really interacted with before. “They know where he is, or at least, where to look for him,” John had said, and I left it alone at that.

It felt strange to stand on the sidewalk in front of the airport, back in my city; the air was slightly humid and warmer than I’d expected. The quality of the air was the same as I remembered, though. It was different from Nevada and from Rhode Island — I couldn’t say how, but the air tasted like home.

Home.
I had such mixed feelings about this; on the one hand, I really did hate Ray, at least, as much as I was capable of hating another person. I knew he was a bad person who did not have remorse. I knew he didn’t love my mother and never mourned her; I also knew that if he could have managed to string me out and use me as his whore, he would have been delighted.

John and I took our own cab. I let myself rest my head against him then, finally, and he exhaled in relief at my closeness. “It’s about a twenty minute ride to the house,” John said, throwing his arm around me. “Now that we’re alone, there’s some things we need to talk about.”

I felt my body tense up. John must have felt it, too, because he stroked my hair, trying to calm me.

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” he said, calmly.

“Everything?” I asked, and there was an edge of hysteria to my voice.

“Everything,” he assured me.

“First, we’re going to watch Ray tomorrow — to see if anything’s changed,” he said. “If we get the chance, we’ll just take him, but I’m not being that optimistic. We need to get our bearings.

“Second, once we capture him, I’m going to let you direct our course. This is about
you.
I’m going to let you decide what you want to do with him,” he said, calmly. He sounded much more relaxed than I felt. “It’s going to be your decision. But I want you to know, I will do
anything
that you ask.”

“The more violent, the better, right?” I asked. I sounded like I was joking, but I wasn’t. I remembered quite clearly what he’d said when I told him the whole story about Ray. John would be thrilled for the opportunity to issue him some physical justice.

“Whatever you say, dear,” he said, deadpan. “Now also, I thought you might be curious about Darius. He’s on a plane back to Brazil, in a wheelchair, and Kevin’s trailing him.”

“Are you okay with that?” I asked, genuinely curious. I still didn’t know what to make of the Darius situation. I didn’t know if he’d end up being helpful or not.

“I’m happy to have some space from Darius,” John said, and laughed. “As you know, he’s not my favorite person. And Cruz and I are happy with anything that his return to society can provide us with: addresses, names, anything — even if it’s false, it’ll at least be something, and it might lead somewhere. In any event, it will be something more than what we have right now. Which is nothing.”

“I’ve been thinking…” I said, and let my voice trail off. I
had
been thinking, all through our long flight, and before, this morning, back at the house.
It was just such a crazy coincidence, and it had brought so much trouble down on all of us.

“How is it possible,” I asked, slowly, unsure of quite how to proceed, “that you came to find me? It seems like there’s too many crazy circumstances —” I started to stammer and I sat up straight, accidentally knocking his arm off me, truly frustrated by my own inability to fully grasp the big picture. This was my life we were talking about, and I felt like I’d been out of the loop of it, out of the driver’s seat, for too long.

“You were working for Cruz, and at the same time, your father wanted you to keep handling my father’s case,” I spluttered, letting the full incoherence of it wash over me.

“Correct,” said John, calmly.

“So you came to Vegas for Darius,
and
for me?” I asked, disbelieving.

“Correct,” he said, calmly again. “Liberty, I’ve already told you all this.”

It was true, but the full force of it was just hitting me. Maybe it was because now I knew about my father, or maybe it was because we were back here, so close to the end, and I just
had
to figure it out, once and for all.

“But that’s just crazy,” I said, shaking my head. “My father, who I’ve never met, does business with your father? And you happen to be friends with one of the club owners where I work, across the country?”

“Guilty as charged,” he said and shrugged.

“How can this all be?” I asked, putting my head in my hands. Before I’d met him, I’d had nothing. Another sad image of me, alone at my chipped card table in Vegas, flashed before me and I winced. Now I had everything, more than I’d even bargained for.

“
You
think it’s crazy,” John said, looking at me. He seemed slightly exasperated, like he was trying to explain something over and over again, as if to a small child. “I don’t see it that way at all.”

I looked at him blankly. It
was
nuts. It was coincidence on top of coincidence.

“It’s fate,” John said. “You
still
don’t see that?”

I shook my head at him,
no.
That still seemed like crazy talk to me.

“You want to know how I know? How I know for sure?” he asked. I nodded mutely, and he placed my hand over his thudding heart.

“My father asked me for a favor when I was out in Vegas. I wasn’t thinking about it — I was totally focused on Cruz, on Darius. But you know what? The first night I met you, my heart stopped. I haven’t been the same since. You’ve changed me. You’ve changed my life. That’s how I know it’s fate. Because I love you.
This
,” he said, putting his arm around me once more,
“
was meant to be. It’s real. For me, anyway,” he said, and I actually heard a note of insecurity in his voice.

“It’s real for me, too,” I said. I looked up at him.

“It just seems too good to be true. Parts of it, anyway.” I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes.
Home,
I thought, and it had nothing to do with the city outside. I realized that I’d changed, too. Probably for good.

“I love you so much,” I said, and buried my head in his chest. “I’m just so afraid.”

“Don’t be,” John said, misapprehending me. “I’m right here.”

The house we’d rented was beautiful, of course. It was a split level, all done in neutral colors, immaculate and perfect. The master bedroom was on the bottom level, and several more bedrooms on the upper floor. The furniture was tasteful, expensive, and utterly forgettable.

“We’re down here, away from the guys,” John said, whisking me down the stairs and throwing our bags down. “One of the perks of dating the boss.” He turned to me and gestured to the king-sized bed and the neutrally-tiled master bath beyond. “Get ready for bed and go to sleep,” he said. “We’re going to do surveillance on Ray tomorrow, early. I’m going to go meet with the guys, and then I’ll be down. We can sleep for about six hours.”

I was looking forward to the sleeping part, at least.

After he left I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I avoided my eyes in the mirror. I didn’t want to see what they looked like, given everything I was thinking.

I put my pajamas on and crawled into bed. I instantly fell asleep; I dreamed I was on a beach with white sand, running. It should have been pleasant, but it wasn’t. The turquoise water beckoned, but a voice in my head kept yelling:
run, RUN!

I woke up with a start, sweat covering me. John mumbled something incoherently and rolled over in his sleep. I was glad I hadn’t woken him. He had enough to deal with.

I made myself fall back to sleep. It was fitful, though, and I wasn’t surprised when I rolled over and looked at the alarm clock that it was already five am. I got up, showered, dressed, and headed up to the kitchen. I was looking for coffee, but I found Matthew instead. “It’s brewing,” he said in a groggy voice. “I promise.”

“I hate today,” I said, grumpily, sitting down on the perfectly neutral leather couch. “I hate this couch, and I hate today.”

“It’s understandable,” Matthew said, and he walked over in his sweats and tee shirt to sit on the equally neutral couch across from mine. “These couches are
really
ugly.”

“Ha ha,” I said, and then just waited, not willing to talk anymore. I sat quietly and listened to the coffee brew.

After it was ready Matthew poured me a cup without asking, with a lot of cream, just the way I liked it. “Thanks,” I said, gratefully. He sat back down opposite me.

“Hey. How come you didn’t follow Darius to Brazil?” I asked. “I thought you were our resident Darius expert.”

“I am,” Matthew said, thoughtfully. “But John thought I’d be more useful here.”

I nodded at him and focused on my coffee. I needed it. Today was a big day.

“How are you feeling about all this?” he asked, gently but curiously.

“I just want it to be over,” I said, and it was true. “I don’t want to have to think about Ray ever again. I’ve made a serious hobby out of forgetting him.”

Matthew nodded and drank his coffee. “It’ll all be over soon,” he said, soothingly.

He was right but of course, I couldn’t be soothed.

John came upstairs about ten minutes later. “Hello, my dear,” he said, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. “Good morning,” he said, nodding to Matthew.

“Ethan’s already out there,” John, said, in full-military mode. “He just called and said we needed to be ready to go in about ten minutes.”

Matthew jumped up and headed upstairs. I sat there, on the couch, waiting for John to tell me what to do, what to feel. I’d gone totally numb.

“Eat,” John said, and put a blueberry scone in front of me. He took my coffee cup and refilled it, careful to include the proper amount of cream. “Drink,” he said, and put it on the coffee table in front of me. I just sat there, eating and drinking and fidgeting.

Ray.
I was so, so close to seeing him again.

John’s cell phone must have vibrated because he picked it up, looking at the number flashing on the screen.
What happened to the cell phone he gave me, back in Vegas?
I wondered randomly. We hadn’t been apart since then, so I hadn’t thought about it.

“Yes,” said John, answering, and I knew it had to be Ethan. John listened for a minute and then hung up. He turned to me.

“Let’s do this,” he said, and his voice was perfectly calm. “Go get your gun and meet me at the door.”

I did as I was told, my heart pounding. I looked at the clock; it was just six am. I checked the chamber on my revolver. It was full. My hands shook as I put it under my shirt, at the small of my back, just like John had told me. I wasn’t sure why I had to bring my gun. I figured it was because John would want me to have it if we became separated, if I had to protect myself.